Baby Love Lite (20 page)

“
Tell me how safe feels,
Tylar.”

“
For me, it feels as though
I don’t have to worry about when or where Maggie might pop up in my
life; or what further pain she's planned for me.”

“
Why do you think Maggie
wanted to hurt you?”

“
Because she hated me. Isn’t
that obvious?”

“
What would've caused her to
hate you?”

I was getting impatient with her questions.
Where the hell was any of this going? “I don’t know. Maybe because
I wasn’t really her child; maybe she resented having had to raise
me; maybe I cramped her style. There are numerous possibilities, I
suppose. Perhaps she'd been jealous of my mother. She certainly
seemed to be jealous of me as I got older.”

“
Do you still worry that you
might be like her now that it’s likely she's not your birth
mother?”

“
I stopped worrying that I'd
be a whore like her after I had sex for the first time. It was with
Trey and I loved him. I knew that I could never want any other man
other than Trey. I knew that love was the important component in
intimacy - not physical sex. Trey and I were intimate long before
we had sex.”

“
And what about other
characteristics Maggie had that you felt you might have
inherited?”

“
I worried that I could be
abusive like she was. The dreams were a reflection of
that.”

“
What do you feel
guilty
about,
Tylar?”

“
What makes you think that I
feel guilty about anything?”

I could feel myself getting defensive. She
was scratching the surface for something. It felt like she was
picking at an emotional scab.

“
What did you feel when you
saw Preston’s bruised bottom?”

“
I felt angry; I felt
ashamed,” I snapped.

“
Who were you angry with,
Tylar - who?”

“
Trey,” I hissed, tears
spilling out, running down my cheeks. “He made me go to work. He
made me leave my baby when it wasn't safe to do so. My dreams were
a warning; I shared most of them with him, but he didn’t want to
hear about them anymore. They pissed him off!”

I was sobbing now; she'd managed to wrench my
guts out with her questions.

“
Tell me about the shame you
felt.”

“
I felt shame that any blood
relative of mine could have left bruises on an innocent baby girl’s
bottom,” I cried, wiping my tears with the back of my
hand.

Karla handed me a tissue from the box that
sat on top of her desk. I took it from her wiping my cheeks. “Now,
tell me what you feel guilty about.”

My throat was closing up. I couldn’t breathe
in her office. Why was she badgering me like this? I'd never hurt
my baby. I could never be the person that Maggie had been. She was
still waiting for me to answer her question.

“
Because,” I finally sobbed
loudly, “Maybe if I'd been a better person; stronger and braver
back then, Maggie would've never had the opportunity to touch my
baby!”

“
Back when,
Tylar?”

“
Back when she used to
beat
me
!” I
screamed. “I should've told someone! My teachers knew and they
wanted to help. They asked me over and over again how I got my
bruises. I lied to cover up the truth. I
lied
to all of them just to protect
that fucking monster!”

Karla was on her feet and by my side in an
instant. She hunkered down next to my chair, taking my hands into
hers. I was forced to look at her; I saw the compassion. She'd
suspected there was more to my story all along. She wanted to
help.

“
Tylar,” she spoke softly to
me, “you were a child. You loved that person that you thought was
‘Mom’. You loved her unconditionally; the same way that Preston now
loves you."

I sniffled, shaking my head in agreement.

"You didn’t deserve to be mistreated. You
can’t blame yourself for not turning Maggie in to the authorities
all those years ago for what happened to Preston recently. You were
a frightened child believing in some way that you needed to protect
your mother even though she didn’t protect you.”

I nodded again, wiping my eyes with the
tissue. Karla handed me a fresh one as she settled back at her
desk. I blew my nose and tried to get my composure once again.

“
I know it was painful for
you to come to grips with this today, Tylar. You’ve repressed this
stuff for a long time, but you have to believe me when I tell you
that it’s healthy that you came to terms with this, finally. Let’s
meet again in two weeks. Between now and then I want you to make an
effort to enjoy being around the baby and enjoy having time away
from her as well. Can you try that?”

I agreed gathering my coat and purse anxious
to get the hell out of there. I was on the phone with Trey’s mother
when he got home that evening. Preston was napping. Trey grabbed a
beer from the fridge. He leaned down and gave me a kiss heading to
his office. Tristan’s party was going to have a Halloween theme
since it was so close to the real thing. Susan said that everyone
was to dress as a television or movie character. Trey and I'd have
to figure out what kind of costumes we would wear. I liked the
idea. I headed down to Trey’s office. He was on his Cell phone with
some work business. He smiled as I came in, so I curled up in his
lap.

I started nuzzling his neck and then lightly
brushed kisses on him. I could tell by the conversation I'd totally
distracted him. I lowered my hand to his lap, fondling his manhood
from outside of his trousers. I felt it grow and harden beneath my
touch. Trey was trying to wrap up his phone conversation now. I'd
started tracing my tongue around his ear, breathing warmly into it.
He was squirming at this point.

Just then I heard the ghost’s “Boo!” from
Preston’s room. My baby was up. I launched myself out of Trey’s lap
just as he wrapped up his call. I headed to her room. She was
sitting up in her crib, clutching her plush ghost to her. She
smiled when she saw me, dropping it and holding her arms up for me
to pick her up.

Trey was beside me in a moment. “I see that
my daughter has perfect timing,” he grumbled slapping my behind
affectionately.

“
Rain check, baby?” I asked
coquettishly, holding Preston close to me.

“
Absolutely,” he replied,
kissing the top of her head.

I changed her diaper then took her into our
room to nurse for a while. We needed our girl time. I got
comfortable on my side and lifted my shirt as Preston nestled
against me and nursed.

Trey came in about thirty minutes later just
as Preston was finishing up. “Any left for me?” he asked
seductively, stretching out across the bed.

“
I’m afraid I’m on empty,
sweetie,” I said, fastening up my nursing bra and lowering my
shirt. “Would you play with the baby while I make dinner? It’s just
going to be sandwiches tonight since I was out this
afternoon.”

“
Sure, baby,” he said,
taking Preston into his arms as he got off of the bed. “That’s
right - you had a session with Dr. Hunter today. How did that
go?”

Holy shit - I'm not ready to get into the
details with him yet.

“
Oh, it was fine,” I lied,
heading toward the kitchen.

When we sat down to eat I told Trey about the
Halloween theme for Tristan’s party. “What do you think we should
go as?” I asked.

“
Hmmm, let me think. How
about I’ll go as a football player and you can be the slutty
cheerleader,” he smirked. I gave him a dirty look and continued
thinking.

“
Oh, I’ve got it, I’ve got
it,” he said excitedly, “we can go as two blue balls.”

“
Blue balls?” I questioned
puzzled. “I’m not getting it?”

“
Yeah, neither am I,” he
snickered, grabbing his crotch.

“
Trey, I’m serious and it's
supposed to be either television or movie characters. It’s a
theme
. I want to do
something kind of unique, you know? I’ll call Gina tomorrow and see
if she has any ideas."

Trey rolled his eyes at the mention of Gina’s
name. He still hadn’t forgiven her for the “Boo!” ghost she'd
bought for Preston.

Later after I'd gotten Preston down for the
night, I showered and climbed into bed thoroughly exhausted. The
session with Karla had taken a lot out of me. I heard Trey in the
shower as I drifted off to sleep. I awoke later to find his arms
wrapped around me possessively. I turned to face him, kissing his
face and his lips. He awoke smiling, returning my kisses. We made
love over and over again for the rest of the night.

Right before dawn, just as I'd drifted back
to sleep I heard Preston fussing. “I’ve got this, babe,” Trey said,
rising up and out of our bed. “You stay put. Go back to sleep.”

He warmed a bottle up for her and fed her in
the nursery allowing me to sink into a deep and well-rested
sleep.

Tristan had picked us up at the airport
Friday afternoon. He'd immediately taken Preston from me and
carried her through the terminal while Trey got our luggage. He
talked to her and made faces; she was giggling in delight at her
Uncle Tristan. He needed to be a dad I thought to myself. I truly
hoped he got the opportunity with whomever he ended up settling
down with.

“
So,” I said smiling at him,
“the big 4-0, huh? How does that feel, Tristan?” He laughed
good-naturedly then leaned closely as if he wanted to share a
secret with me.

“
Do you want to know the
truth?” he asked in a very serious tone.

I nodded waiting for him to share some secret
of aging.

“
I actually feel almost the
same way today as I did
yesterday,”
he confided.

“
Oh….you,” I said, smacking
his arm.

“
When do I get to meet
Libby?”

“
Very soon. She’s back at
the house helping Mom bake her traditional pumpkin pies for
Halloween. She decorates them with faces,” he laughed.

“
So,” I continued, “what are
you and Libby wearing for the big Halloween/Birthday
gala?”

“
That's a secret, Tylar.
But, I can guarantee you that our costumes will be unusual,” he
promised.

Trey, Preston and I were going as Fred, Wilma
and Pebbles Flintstone. Gina had come up with the idea very quickly
when I explained what the theme was to be.

“
Girlfriend,” she had
giggled, “it'll be freakin’ perfect!”

She'd seen the costumes at a shop near the
Sanctuary and dragged me down there to look. They actually were
pretty amazing when I saw them on the mannequins.

Gina had pitched the idea to Trey bringing
Preston and I out to model the costumes that we'd borrowed on
approval from the shop. Preston dressed as Pebbles was adorable.
I'd pulled her hair up into the little sprouted ponytail and the
costume came with a fake clip that looked like a bone just like
Pebbles had on the cartoon. My costume included the wig that had a
reddish colored tight bun on top just like Wilma’s.

Both of us wore the ragged hemmed animal
print shifts just like the cartoon characters. My only concern was
that Trey (Fred) wouldn't agree to wear his animal skin shift as
well. Trey would also get to carry his ‘caveman’ faux wooden club.
He'd turned out to be a good sport about it. I got his costume
rented the following day. Trey’s only concern had been that my
animal skin shift was too short and that it showed off more of me
than what he wanted anyone to see.

“
Jesus Christ,” he'd moaned
later in our bedroom as I was changing out of my costume. “I'm
going to have to beat the shit out of a bunch of horny cavemen I
can see.”

“
Oh, Trey,” I'd laughed,
“there’s only one horny caveman that I'm interested in.”

“
Just make sure it stays
that way, baby,” he said in his smooth and silky voice, planting
his hands on my ass and pulling me towards him. We'd been setting
the record with our sexapades these days. I simply couldn’t get
enough of my husband and he couldn’t get enough of me.

When we got to his parents’ house we were met
at the door by Susan who promptly took Preston from Tristan and
headed off down the hall with her. “Nice to see you too, Mom,” Trey
called after her helping me off with my coat.

Thatcher was there in a moment helping with
our luggage and putting coats away. Tristan had disappeared
upstairs so Trey and I made our way back to the family room to
greet Clive and catch up on everything.

“
Tylar,” Susan whispered
after we'd been there for several minutes, handing Preston off to
Trey. “Come in the kitchen with me for a moment.”

I followed her into the kitchen puzzled by
the secrecy.

“
Listen,” she said, her
voice still lowered as if she felt someone might overhear her.
“This gal of Tristan's, Libby, I’m not real sure about
her.”

“
What do you mean,
Susan?”

“
I mean she's very hard to
read. He seems totally intrigued with her but I’m not so sure. My
motherly instincts are raising hell. Have you and Trey met her
yet?”

“
No, we haven’t,” I
replied.

“
Well, I certainly won’t say
any more then because I don’t want to pass any bias that I might
have on to either of you. I’ll let you be your own
judges.”