Authors: Kylee Parker
Chapter 3
Kim was still reeling as she sautéed chicken with bell peppers for fajitas that evening. She’d been so comfortable the couple of times she’d been around the Skulls, so confident that they welcomed her and felt she was a part of the fold. Today, she’d felt like the enemy. She wasn’t just being left out; she was being completely excluded, and it was in a very obvious, hostile manner.
If the boys felt slighted by their decision to get married without giving them a heads’ up, that was one thing. But this was downright disapproval, as if they wouldn’t have let it happen if they’d knows about it in advance. As far as Kim was concerned, who Diesel chose to make a life with was none of their business, just like she wouldn’t interfere with any of their relationships.
Apparently, Kim didn’t know the first thing about how the Skulls worked.
The worst of it was, Diesel was livid and had been distant since they left the clubhouse. He’d gone for a ride alone, saying he needed to clear his head, and when he’d come home, he’d gone to the bedroom and started pacing back and forth. Kim wanted to talk to him about this, but he couldn’t even be still, much less stay in the same room with her. It was why she was making fajitas. They were his favorite, and she hoped it would coerce him to sit at the table with him to eat.
But as he sat across from her with a deep scowl, tearing into his food like a rabid beast, she wished she’d just left him alone. When he was down to scraps on his plate, she finally hedged, “Maybe I should just lay low here for a while until the guys warm up to the idea that we’re married.”
Diesel slammed his palm on the table, rattling dishes and making her flinch. “Those bastards have fiery determination and no right to question my decisions. And they aren’t going to push you out.”
Kim was finally getting a glimpse of what everyone else saw in Diesel that frightened them. She wasn’t scared of him, but she saw how terrifying he could be in that moment, his fiery determination and rage blending into a face that would stop the bravest of men in his tracks. She held up her hands in surrender and said, “I’m not talking about hiding out forever. I just mean that I can stay busy with my gig while you get back into the swing of things with the club. And when things settle back into a normal routine, I can start showing my face around there again.”
“They’re not going to dictate when and where you go,” he growled. Her concern must have been written all over her face because his expression registered guilt and regret. He stood and came around the table, pulling her to her feet. “I don’t mean to be a dick to you.” He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, and Kim drew strength and comfort from him. “I didn’t expect the Skulls to turn on me like this, and I have to root out the problem and fix it. I’ve already realized I have to keep you out of it for now, and that pisses me off.”
“I’ll be fine, babe. I’ve always been fine. It’s not like we have to annul our marriage or something. It’s just a little extra time apart we weren’t quite counting on.” She shrugged, trying to seem as unaffected as possible. Of course, she was hurt and a little nervous for Diesel’s sake. After all, he may be tough, but if the Skulls ganged up on him and decided to teach him a lesson, he was screwed.
“I
will
fix this,” he emphasized, kissing her forehead. “I’m not going to let their bad attitude change anything here, with us, and I don’t want you to, either, okay?”
Kim nodded. “I don’t intend to.”
“Good. Thank you for dinner. It was excellent.”
With a smile, she said, “I’m glad.” But she knew what was coming. Instead of going to the show tonight, he was going to the clubhouse to roll some heads or lay the law or whatever it was he did when he didn’t like the way his brothers were acting.
She didn’t argue, just pasted a look of support on her face as he left, and then she went to stare at the calendar. Four days. She’d been married for four days, and already shit had hit the fan. The cops had threatened their freedom, her grandfather had threatened Diesel’s life, and now the club was threatening their marriage. Or maybe Diesel’s place in the organization because of that marriage. Squaring her shoulders, she muttered to herself, “It could always be worse.”
Luckily, the next two weeks were uneventful, as were the two after that. Bryce and Nettie came over for dinner a couple of times, but even that was a bit awkward without club business to discuss. They ended up playing some poker to ease the silence, and Nettie took her aside as they said goodnight. “Bryce has his back, you know. And a couple of the other guys are coming around,” Nettie said quietly. “Bryce won’t tell me what’s going on exactly, but it’ll get better, especially after your man heads out on the big dump in a couple of weeks.”
Kim knew Diesel had been holding back and only making short runs because of her, and because of the tension in the club. He didn’t want to get stuck on a long trip and have something happen to either of them. She also knew he needed to get out on the road to ease his own tension. He’d been restless and snappy, and Kim was starting to have trouble recognizing her own husband.
She hadn’t known a ‘big dump’ was coming, but in a way, she was glad to hear it, even if it meant they would be apart for several days. It also sounded like it would help get him back ‘in’ with the group. “I hope so,” she said to Nettie. “I didn’t mean to cause problems.”
Nettie waved a hand in the air. “Oh, please! These guys like to think they’re big strong men, and they are. But a motorcycle club has just as much drama as any mom group or a bunch of old bitties sitting around quilting! If it wasn’t this, it would be something else.”
Kim wasn’t so sure, but she let it go. She didn’t want to bring up the issues with the mob, and she didn’t want to ask about Sophia and where she’d disappeared to. She just said goodnight and went back inside with Diesel, who helped her clean up the kitchen.
As the silence grew deafening, Kim hedged, “Nettie mentioned you’d be going on a trip soon.”
Diesel stopped moving and cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m still not sure if I’m going.”
“Why not?” she asked, turning to face him.
He sighed and turned around, leaning against the counter and looking at her. “First of all, I hadn’t discussed it with you yet to get your opinion. We’re married, Kim, and I’m not just going to come home and tell you I’m running off for a week. Besides, I’m not sure if I trust the guys I’m leaving behind not to come and try to scare you off.”
Kim shook her head. “They know better. And Nettie tells me things are starting to settle down anyway. I think you should go.” She wanted to be selfish and beg him to stay, but what kind of an old lady would she be to him if she did that? “I think it would be good for you to get back to business the way it used to be. You’d be happier, and the guys would be more trusting. And they wouldn’t think I’m holding you back.”
He didn’t quite look convinced, but he didn’t argue. “If you’re sure, I’ll go. I need to make a show of my loyalty.”
“I understand.” She walked over and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You do what you need to do, okay? I’ll keep the home fires burning for you for when you get back, like a good wife. And I’ll go about my business, earning my keep at the gig.”
That brought a smile to his face, and he cradled her into his body. “Now, that’s the kind of promise I like to hear.”
Chapter 4
The house was lonely and quiet with Diesel gone. The clock ticked too slowly, and there was nothing on television to distract Kim as she sat, worrying that there would be another gunfight, and that this time, the bullet would hit its mark. She could handle a lot of things, but the thought of losing Diesel now, when they’d only had two months together, was too much.
Unable to sit still, Kim grabbed her purse and took off, deciding to do a little shopping for the house. They were low on shampoo, and she needed to refill her spice rack. Besides, she had some new recipes she wanted to try and thought maybe it was better to taste them on her own before she tried them out on Diesel, who was a finicky eater anyway.
She took a glance at some window displays, but she didn’t go into the shops. She didn’t need any clothes. The ones she had felt a little uncomfortable lately. She’d put it up to being married and growing up, but she realized that she hadn’t had her cycle since before they’d eloped. It didn’t necessarily mean anything. After all, she’d never quite been regular, and she’d been under a lot of stress the last few months.
But she’d also been especially sensitive lately and felt a little off. Again, she could chalk it up to the stress of all the things that had happened in the last few months, but she would rather be safe than sorry. She didn’t want to make the mistake of drinking or anything like that if she was pregnant. She ducked into the drug store and bought a test, just to make sure. She fully expected it to come up negative, which would be a relief.
But a part of her was also hopeful. Having a child…it was something she’d never thought about before, and now that she had a man she loved and a life that was starting to settle down, it was a nice idea. She wouldn’t get her hopes up, though. It wasn’t likely, and she didn’t think either of them was ready for a kid anyway.
She paid and hurried home, suddenly wanting to be snuggled on the couch under a blanket, marathoning one of her favorite sitcoms until she got a call from Diesel when they stopped for the night. They were headed to Lake Michigan, where they’d sneak a very large delivery across the lake to the intended client and bring back an equally large payment. It would take time to get there and more time to set up the secret exchange, so she would only talk to him a couple times a day at best.
The test was supposed to be used first thing in the morning, but Kim found herself distracted, unable to enjoy the shows with her popcorn and snacks. She kept glancing toward the bathroom, and then the clock, as if she could force the day to pass and the morning to come. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. If she was pregnant, she didn’t need to wait. The chemicals were there, and the test would read positive.
She reread the instructions to make sure she was doing it right and then forced herself to close the test as she set the timer, willing herself not to look until the timer went off. Two minutes seemed to stretch into two hours, the longest seconds of her life, and about fifteen seconds before the timer sounded, there was a knock at the door.
Kim considered ignoring it, not wanting to leave the room until she had the results, but it was insistent, and she rolled her eyes. If it was important, she would regret not going, so she clenched her jaw and angrily left the bathroom just as the ‘ding’ sounded. She actually growled out loud in irritation at the interruption and stormed toward the door, throwing it open and stopping cold.
She stared, blinking, at Spencer, who hadn’t bothered to call or text or anything for two months. He smiled and held out a bouquet of flowers. “Hey, Kim, I think I owe you an apology.”
She frowned as she took the flowers, not quite sure what was going on. “What are you sorry for?”
“I shouldn’t have gone away without telling you about it. Look, can I come in? I have some things to explain to you.”
Kim wasn’t keen on letting anyone into Diesel’s house when he wasn’t here. But he’d reminded her it was her house now, too, and she had a pregnancy test cooking in the bathroom. If she stood here and tried to make Spencer explain, he would just beg her and drag this out. Pushing the door open so he could pass, she said, “You have five minutes. I have things to do.”
He stepped inside enthusiastically and began talking before she had the door closed. “Kim, I didn’t just run away. I’ve been dealing with some club business up north. We’re trying to make some allies for trading purposes up there, and I was sent as a sort of ambassador. So I didn’t just abandoned things here, and when I heard about you and Diesel…you know, getting married, I couldn’t come back. But I support you fully. I want you to know that.”
Kim crossed her arms, a bit suspicious. She had expected the support of the club, and they’d turned their backs on the marriage. Spencer, on the other hand, had expressed his concern for her relationship with Diesel, and she didn’t believe for a second that he was suddenly their top ally. “What made you change your mind?” she asked.
“Do I have to spell it out for you?” he said, his tone changing and sounding a bit high strung. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. And I wish I was the guy who could do that for you. But I’m not, and I can see how happy you are with my brother, so I guess I have to accept the fact that he’s what you need. And if it makes you happy to be with him, then I guess I support that.”
It had to be hard for him to say, Kim supposed, and she nodded. She still wasn’t sure she believed he was sincere, but at least he was making an attempt to understand, however thin and shallow. Torn between trying to work things out and maintain the friendship she’d had with Spencer for so long versus rushing into the bathroom to check her test, Kim decided that it was more important to show loyalty to an old friend. The test would still be there when she was done. It wasn’t like a positive or negative mark would fade away, and it wasn’t like the damn thing was going to get up and walk off.
With a sigh, she asked, “Do you want a beer?”
He looked almost relieved. “Sure, that would be great.”
“Have a seat, I’ll grab a couple.” She motioned to the couch. She didn’t particularly want him following her to the kitchen, but he did anyway, and she felt a little claustrophobic all of a sudden. Still, she popped the top on the two bottles and set them on the kitchen table, hoping he’d sit down. He wasn’t as broad as Diesel and didn’t have quit as intimidating a stance, but something about the way he carried himself today made her uncomfortable. It was like he was nervous and out of place in his own skin.
But when he just grabbed one of the bottles and took a swing, still on his feet, Kim couldn’t stand it. She sat down, leading by example, and finally, he perched on the very edge of one of the kitchen chairs, as if poised to spring at any moment. “Spencer, is something wrong? I mean, you’re really high strung, and you’re acting like you’re waiting for some sort of ghost to jump out and scare you away.”
His laugh wasn’t normal, a very bad sign, and Kim tensed as he said, “I guess I’m just afraid you won’t accept my apology. I want to make amends, but I don’t know how to do that and make sure everything is right between us. I couldn’t stand to lose you because of everything that’s happened.”
Where was all this coming from? Sure, he’d gotten a little hotheaded with Diesel, but that was between the stepbrothers. And they’d had a bit of a spat, but there was no reason to be so overly anxious about apologizing. Had Kim ever given him any indication she was that hard or held that kind of grudge?
Maybe that all came from the beef between families. After all, her own people held a grudge against Spencer’s family that was practically ancient. “Spencer, I’m not my grandfather. Or anyone else in my family. I know how to let things go. I want all the bad blood left in the past. I’m tired of everyone fighting and being filled with hate.”