BAD BOY ROMANCE: DIESEL: Contemporary Bad Boy Biker MC Romance (Box Set) (New Adult Sports Romance Short Stories Boxset) (158 page)

Thinking of Miriam made the knot in my stomach even worse. What if she wanted him back? What if he missed her because he didn’t think I was as good in bed? I shuddered thinking of his pitying gaze the night before, the way he hadn’t protested when I left his room. It was more than a bad dream, it was a nightmare.

As if to compound my misery, my phone buzzed in my hand and I knew with a sickening feeling that it was Matthew. I didn’t want to answer, but I was worried about him showing up at the house.

Taking a deep breath, I answered. “Hello?”

“Hi Leda. It’s Matthew.”

“I know,” I said dully. “What’s up? Did you land?”

I heard his familiar derisive snort. “Yeah,” he said patiently. “Do you want to go to lunch?”

“I’ll meet you at Crisp,” I said. “It’s downtown, on the corner of Clark and Turning Key.”

“Leda, I’m really looking forward to seeing you,” Matthew said in a quiet voice. I shook my head vehemently as if to make the sentiment fly away.

“I’ll meet you there,” I repeated. When he didn’t respond, I hung up. My heart was pounding in my chest. It was like Zeus had risen up and decided to punish me for taking part in a green card marriage. Or something. Honestly, it didn’t even seem like that much of a crime. Or that different from a lot of relationships, actually. Boy meets girl. Boy needs visa to stay in the country, so boy weds girl. Boy and girl hook up. Girl says I love you, boy doesn’t want anything to do with that. That’s how normal relationships work, right?

“Ugh,” I muttered under my breath. Looking in the mirror, I found that I looked even worse than I felt. The night of barely any sleep was definitely showing. I had massive dark circles under my eyes and my face looked puffy and blotchy. I had about ten minutes to get ready before going to Crisp, but when I realized I hadn’t showered since having sex with Stratton, I decided to show up fashionably late.

A quick shower helped a lot. By the time I left the house in a sundress and wedge heels, I was feeling much better although I knew I still looked tired. In the car, I swiped on some light mascara and blush. I didn’t want Matthew to think that I was trying too hard, but I didn’t want to look like a slob, either.

By the time I pulled up to Crisp, I was a wreck. My chest physically ached from all of the tension of the past 24 hours. The hostess pulled me to a back booth and left me standing there awkwardly as a taller, leaner version of Matthew walked over from the bar. He leaned in for a hug and while I didn’t move away, I didn’t exactly return the gesture. It took my breath away to realize that he smelled exactly as he always had: Axe body spray and a little bit of musk.

“Leda, you look amazing,” he said. Matthew gestured for me to sit down and I perched towards the edge of the booth. There was something so familiar and heartbreaking about his voice and I bit my lip to keep from crying.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I know I’m a mess right now. It’s been a weird night.”

“What happened?” He leaned across the table and held out his hands. I looked down at them; the familiar long fingers with short clipped nails and the scar on his right thumb.

“Tyler and Megan broke up,” I said shakily. “The other night, or maybe it was yesterday, I’m not actually sure. But she came over and we threw this party and she got too wrecked and passed out on my bed.”

Matthew shook his head. “They’re not going to stay broken up,” he said confidently.

I frowned. “How do you know?”

He looked embarrassed. “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to cut you off. I’m sure you’re right; it just doesn’t seem like they would be ready to split up yet.”

I rolled my eyes. “You always did know people better than they knew themselves,” I said. “One of your many great qualities.”

Matthew sat straighter up, looking chastened. “I’m sorry,” he offered. “I really am, it was stupid of me to do that. I’ve changed a lot, Leda. A lot of things have happened to me.”

“I figured,” I said dryly. “What happened with Amelia?”

The waitress came up just as he was about to answer, and I waited an agonizingly long time for him to order a burger and fries. When she turned to me, I shrugged.

“I haven’t had time to read the menu yet,” I said. “Just bring me something really popular with a Diet Coke.”

She giggled and collected our menus, walking away. Matthew eyed me. “That was impressive,” he commented. “You always used to panic when we’d go out to eat and you didn’t know what you wanted.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Thanks,” I muttered. “So what happened with Amelia?”

Matthew twined his fingers together on the table. “Do you really want to know? Don’t you think some of this might be hurtful?”

“Probably,” I said with a shrug. “But I want to know. No more lies, Matthew. You promised me that.”

He ducked his head in acknowledgment. “So I did,” he replied. “So I did.” He looked at me and held my gaze until I felt my cheeks burning. “We split up because we weren’t right for each other,” he said. “I wasn’t sure that a future between us was going to work, and she had some doubts about my ability to commit to her. It wasn’t  good idea for us to get engaged.”

I looked up at him, dumbfounded. “She dumped you,” I said flatly. “She dumped you and now you’re crawling back to me.”

“Leda, it’s not like that,” he protested. “She did break up with me…the last time. But the first time we broke up, I dumped her.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Do you realize how pathetic you sound right now? You dumped her first? What is this, junior high? You were
engaged!
Engaged people shouldn’t break up more than once!” My voice rose and Matthew shrunk down, looking embarrassed. I closed my eyes and shook my head. “You know what, fine, I’m sorry I asked.”

Matthew looked away. “I really am sorry, Leda. It didn’t work with her because I still love you.”

“Where was that love when you broke up with her the first time?” I shot back sarcastically. “You didn’t come crawling back then! You had to wait for her to leave you!”

“I missed you all the time, Leda,” he pleaded. “I wrote about you all the time. She found some of it. That was one of the reasons she left.”

“I can’t believe I’m hearing this,” I said. “This is getting worse and worse. It never occurred to you that writing about me like that would be creepy? Or hurtful to the person you were going to marry?”

Matthew shrugged. “I’m an artist,” he said offhandedly. “If someone can’t get used to my creative temperament, we shouldn’t be together.”

“That’s rich, I bet Amelia felt the exact same way.”

“Don’t try to pin this on me!” Matthew shot back. “I came here because I miss you and you’re turning it into something ugly. I love you, and I want to try again with you, Leda. We’ll take it slow this time. I promise. I’ll do anything to show you that I’ve changed.”

I stared at him. It was everything I’d wanted to hear a year ago, or even six months ago. But now it just felt empty. Everything that came out of his mouth sounded manipulative, and I was angry at myself for responding to that damn email in the first place.

“You’re incredible, you know that?” My tone was slow and even. “You’re really something else, Matthew. You’re going to make some girl very happy someday until they realize what a snake you are.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the waitress approaching with our platters of food. “Here you are!” She sang out. “A burger and a fish taco plate!”

I pulled a wad of bills out of my wallet and threw them on the table. “Can you box mine up?” I asked her. “I have to go now.”

The waitress backed away, still holding my plate of fish tacos. Matthew watched me nervously. “Are you sure about this?” He asked, finally. “If you leave, I won’t come back. This is the last time I’ll come asking, Leda. This is your last chance.”

I laughed out loud. “Are you threatening me? You’re such a loser, Matthew. Amelia was lucky she got out in time.”

Without waiting for my food, I stalked out of Crisp. Matthew called after me but I didn’t turn around, and as I pulled out of the parking lot I saw him through the window, eagerly chatting up the waitress.

Chapter Nine

Stratton

I felt horrible. When Leda blurted out that she loved me, I had no idea what to say. It isn’t that I don’t care for her; I do, very much. But love? I’m not sure that I could have said it back and meant it. Hurting her was much more painful than I ever thought it would be. She looked so crushed in that instant, I knew I’d made a mistake. Part of our agreement was not getting too attached to each other, though. And for the longest time, I hadn’t even seen that as a possibility. She was Leda, not Chrissy Teigen. Staying away from her should have been easy.

The house was a mess from the party. A few people stayed over but they left before I could hunt them down and ask them to help clean. The living room looked like a warzone: sticky with alcohol spills, vomit in the corner, some broken furniture. I started to clean by myself and before I was even a quarter of the way finished, I’d filled up three trash bags. Maybe a party hadn’t been such a good idea in the first place, but I had wanted to get on Leda’s good side. And I’d thought that cheering up her friends would have helped with that. With any other girl, it would have. But Leda was so odd sometimes.

I knocked her door and there was no answer. Opening it, I half-expected to see a passed out Megan on the bed. But the bed was neatly made and everything was in place as usual. When I checked, Leda’s car wasn’t in the driveway.

I spent the morning cleaning. Someone had started a bonfire in the backyard with some of the broken furniture and the grass was scorched. Leda was going to have a fit when she saw it, but somehow I had the feeling she wouldn’t be confronting me about anything for a long time. The thought was a grim one; I didn’t want to spend the rest of our marriage hating each other.
I won’t be like my parents,
I decided.
Even if it’s just a temporary situation, I’ll find a way to make her happy
.

When I heard someone knocking on the door, I groaned. The house was still in shambles.

“Hi!” Megan chirped. “Is Leda home?”

I narrowed my eyes. “I thought she drove you,” I said slowly. “What’s up? Is everything okay?”

There was no trace of the sobbing inebriated girl from the night before. Megan grinned at me and held out her hand. “Tyler proposed!” She gushed. “I can’t wait to tell Leda! Can I hang out here?”

I squinted at her. “I’m cleaning up from the night before, do you want to help?”

Megan nodded. She threw her arms around me and I felt the push of her breasts. “Thanks so much for last night,” she whispered in my ear. “You cheered me up a lot. I never thought I’d be hungover on the day I got engaged!”

“Sure,” I muttered. “No problem.”

Megan pulled on a pair of yellow rubber gloves and set to work cleaning the kitchen. She babbled an endless stream about her and Tyler, and their wedding plans, and where they were going to live, and how Leda was going to be maid of honor. I tried to stop listening after a while but she was like an incessant gnat that wouldn’t stop buzzing in my ear.

“Megan,” I said, clearing my throat as I put the mop away. “Aren’t you tired? Don’t want to lie down?”

She shook her head. “Nope!” Megan chirped. “I’ll just wait on the couch or watch TV or something.”

“Okay,” I said warily. “Listen, don’t ambush Leda when she gets in the house, okay? I think she had kind of a rough night. I don’t think she’s feeling well.”