Bamboo and Lace (48 page)

Oahu

“Hey, Gabe,” Jeff had caught him on a rainy Sunday morning in late February.

“Hi, Jeff. How are you?”

“I'm okay. Did you get a letter from Lily recently?”

“Thursday.”

“Any changes?”

“None.”

Jeff stood still for a time.

“What are you thinking?” Gabe asked.

“Something isn't right here. I feel like Lily's not telling us something.”

Gabe's heart sank with dread.

“Your father wouldn't hurt her, would he, Jeff?”

“Not physically, but he's tremendously controlling.”

This news for Gabe was extremely painful. Lily was so far away, and they couldn't even speak on the phone.

“I'm going to confront her with this when I write next,” Jeff concluded.

“Do you want me to say anything?”

Jeff looked at his friend. He knew that what he had just shared would cause Gabe pain and tempt him to worry. Lily would not thank her brother for that.

“Why don't you keep your letters in a lighter vein, Gabe? I think Lily needs that right now. If she's having a hard time and not sharing it with us, there's a reason. I'm not trying to come between the two of you, but until you've been introduced to my father, I'd probably better stay involved.”

“All right. I hope you know this is hard.”

“Yeah, it is. I wish I had better news.”

“Why would Lily not talk to us?”

“I have a sneaking suspicion that she hasn't even been able to mention that she's met you. If my father knew about you and forbade Lily to marry you, she would have written about that and not left you hanging. This is Lily being protective, feeling that it's best if she handles something on her own.”

“That's not like her.”

“Not when she's here, it isn't, but we're both so far away.”

Gabe's eyes closed as he said, “Don't remind me.”

Jeff only touched him on the shoulder before they moved to sit down for the service.

Lhasa

Lily frowned down at the bread she had just burned and knew she was going to have to do better than this. Her heart was so heavy all the time that she was having trouble doing anything well. When she was out with the folks from the village or church it was easier, but at home, a dark cloud rested over her and it was starting to show. Even Ling told her she looked thin and pale. Since then Lily had been working hard to be thankful, but it was proving to be more difficult than she expected.

“Do you wish to discuss something with me, Lily?” Owen asked so suddenly from behind his daughter that she nearly dropped the loaf she was holding. Moving slowly, Lily managed to turn and look at her father.

“I did not tell you to look at me!” Owen snapped.

Lily dropped her eyes. She didn't want to, but she hoped if she obeyed he would listen.

“May I tell you my thoughts now, Father?” Lily asked softly, eyes down the entire time.

“Proceed.”

“It seems to me that your rules mean more to you than our relationship. On Sunday you preached about the Pharisees who were angry with Jesus because he healed a man on the Sabbath.” Lily nearly quoted her father when she said, “‘Their tight hold on man-made rules left them utterly coldhearted to a man in need.' Now your own daughter just wishes to look at you and talk with you, but unless I obey your rules, not God's rules, you shun me.”

Lily trembled in the horrible silence that followed, her body aching with the tense way she held herself.

“You are getting letters from a man, are you not?”

This question surprised Lily, because it was so far from their present topic of conversation, but she still answered truthfully.

“Why have you not told me?”

Lily answered slowly, still keeping her voice level and eyes down.

“Gabe is special, Father. I find it very hard to discuss him with someone who is constantly enraged at me.”

“I will not tolerate your disrespect!”

Lily couldn't take it anymore. She slowly raised her eyes, and although her father hid it, he was shaken by the depth of pain he saw in her face.

“What of your disrespect for me, Father?” Lily whispered slowly and in very real agony. “I'm a person with feelings, and I've honored you all my life, only now to be treated like a criminal. I love the people of our village—you know I do—but I'm not Kashienese, I'm white, and while we're alone in our home I want to be free to talk to the father I love and look him in the eye. I used to be able to do that, but when Mama left us, you changed. I want to go back to the way it was. I'm not asking for anything immoral or sinful. I'm just asking to be noticed and loved in a way that makes me feel loved.”

Owen's look and tone were colder than he intended.

“You've changed.”

“You're right; I have,” Lily agreed, “but I'm not sinning against you, Father. I think if you search your heart, you will see this.”

When Owen said nothing for several long seconds, Lily didn't wait to be excused but turned and went to her room.

Owen stood looking at the spot where his daughter had just been, his heart in a mix of emotions. Having her gone from him had been nowhere near as hard as he'd anticipated, but that had lasted only until she returned. Once she came back, he realized he never wanted her to leave him again. But that wasn't the point right now. Lily Walsh was a wise young woman, and she had said something Owen could not ignore.

Walking to her door, he called her name.

“Lily?”

“Come in.”

Owen moved the heavy drape that served as a door. Lily was sitting on her bed and kept her eyes down.

“What are these man-made rules you speak of?”

“It is not a rule of God that I lower my eyes before you in this house, nor is it one of God's rules that we pray together at a certain time each evening. I see in my Bible that anger is a sin, yet you grow angry with me often. I am confused that you do not see sin in your anger and yet see so much sin in some of the actions of a daughter who wishes only to honor and please you.”

“You see obeying your father as man's rule?” Owen asked.

Lily mentally wrestled to explain, fearful that she would make a mess of things. “Do you think that Le Pa's sleeping with a woman who is not his wife is a serious sin, Father?”

“Of course.”

“Do you realize that you exhibit the same anger toward me when I do not keep my eyes lowered as you did toward Le Pa?” Lily wanted to look up but was afraid to risk it. “And this was not the way I was raised, nor did you expect this from my mother. At what point did you read in your Bible that to be an obedient daughter I must become Kashienese?”

“But we live in Kashien, Lily. Surely you can see.”

“Yes, I can see when we are among the people of the village, but not when we are home alone. You keep me at arm's length, as the Lhasa men do with the women of their families. I wish for a closeness again, an openness between us.”

“And you do not feel we have this?”

“You are angry with me often. You are so easily upset with me that I do not feel I can make a move. This is the first time in more years than I can recall that you have allowed me to ask you something and have not become angry when you do not like my answer.”

“And you have realized all of this in making this trip to Hawaii?”

“No,” Lily was forced to admit. “I have felt this way for years but have not been able to tell you.”

“But something did happen in Hawaii that has made you come home and say these things to me.”

“That is true. I was able to look my brother in the eye and not feel ashamed. I was able to say what I feel and not be ashamed.”

“If it was so ideal, I wonder that you came home at all.”

Lily did not see this coming. His voice had been so calm. She couldn't believe how harsh those few words could be. Her whole body was racked with physical waves of pain as her father delivered these barbs, turned, and walked from the room.

Lily had no choice but to cry out to God for help; He was all she had. Finally invited to talk to her father, Lily thought it had done no good.

For many minutes she prayed and asked God for comfort and wisdom. It was while she was praying that she realized the very thing she'd been talking to her father about had just happened. Ironic as it seemed, he had turned into his own example.

With a peace and calm that Lily had not felt in many weeks, she decided to confront him with this truth. Lily walked slowly out to see whether her father was still home. Sitting in his chair and reading a book, he did not look in her direction, but Lily felt firm in her resolve.

“There is one more thing I need to say to you,” Lily began.

Owen ignored her, and for the first time Lily began to grow angry.

“I would beg an audience with you, Father. Will you please hear me out?”

Owen did not so much as stir, and Lily's anger boiled over.

“
Look at me!”
Lily ordered her father for the first time in her life.

Owen was so shocked by her words and tone that he did turn to her.

“The very thing I told you that happens between us has just occurred, but you are blind to your own sins. I said things you do not like, and you left my room in anger.” Lily's eyes were blazing now, but she was not done. “I left the man that I love with all my heart in the state of Hawaii in order to come home to you because I told you I would return. Do not
ever
accuse me of being a daughter who does not work to honor her father, for in such a statement you lie to yourself about Lily Walsh.”

Lily walked out of the house this time, leaving her father shaken. Never had she spoken to him in this way. It came rushing to him that the woman who had come home to him was happy and productive before he stopped speaking to her. She had not said one word about wanting to go back or about meeting a man, but she had been happy and joyful in his presence.

Owen sighed with relief when he saw that it wasn't too late. He would talk to her again. He would find that happy woman again, and everything would go back to the way it was.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Oahu

It was with a tough mix of emotions that Gabe Kapaia stood as best man for his brother on March 4 and watched him pledge his life to Deanne Talbot. Nevertheless, there was no denying the happiness in the bride's face and the utter joy in his brother's.

The families of the bride and groom, church family, and friends were out in force. Everyone was up for a great time. Gabe was too, but all through the service and celebration he found his heart in two places: rejoicing with Ashton and Deanne in Hawaii, and in a small village in Kashien that he could only imagine.

Lhasa

Lily was in a quandary. Her brother had figured her out. She had read his letter while sitting quietly under her favorite shade tree, and now she just sat and thought.

Something is wrong, Lily,
had been some of his words.
I can tell by your silence after all we discussed when you were here. I can only guess that Father has become impossible. By the time you receive this, you will have been gone for almost three months, and not being able to talk to you and know how you are
truly
doing is more difficult than I can say.