Be Mine (3 page)

“Here have mine and dinner will be ready by the time you get out. I love you, how about a kiss before you shower stud?”

“I love you to join me and I’ll do more than kiss you.”

“You’re on; I bet I can get naked and in the shower before you.”

“That’s only because you cheat—get back here, I didn’t say go.”

“Steve, you know, I keep getting this creepy feeling like we were being watched. Do you think Brutus was watching us in the shower? Don’t answer that, I’ve spent the last two days with him and every other word out of his mouth has to do with sex.”

“Corny, I need you to be honest with me; will he be able to focus on the job next week, or will I have to replace him as my drug dog?”

“Don’t tell him this, but I don’t think he needed to be benched. The incident with Gloria was an aberration and I don’t think it’ll happen again.”

“That’s good to know. Is it okay if he still spends the rest of the week with you?”

“Of course, now let’s go have dinner and open our presents.”

“Steve, why don’t you start the grill and I’ll get the steaks out, I’m starving. Making whoopee with you makes me ravenous.”

“Mmm, that was great. There’s nothing like sex, red meat, starch, and beer to satisfy a man. We better open our presents before I pass out; you first.”

“Okay, but have you seen Brutus lately? It worries me when he’s quite for too long.”

“Be thankful we’re alone and open this.”

“Oh Steve, your too funny. Is their cheap Walmart chocolate inside this silver Nordstrom box?”

“Open it and find out.”

“How cute, where in the world did you find this pretty little pink flamingo charm? It looks like the flamingos I helped in Victoria.”

“I picked it up in a quaint little gift shop at the Butterfly Gardens, while you were off planning the flamingos rescue.”

“That was loads of fun; I’d like to forget about that little bit of larceny. Here’s your gift, I sure hope you like it.”

“Is it a card full of cold hard cash?”

“No.”

“Holy crap, you bought me a gift certificate for flying trapeze lessons; I’m speechless… “

“Does that mean you don’t like it?”

“I told you it was a bad idea.”

“No you didn’t. You said, ‘
If you say so’
, when I asked you what you thought.”

“Well, that’s what I meant.”

“What’s wrong with Brutus, he looks like he’s sulking.”

“He’s constipated; I’m going to put him in the backyard for awhile.”

“I see how you are; you’re going to punish me for being honest.”

“I’ll come get you in a couple of minutes; give us a little privacy while we discuss his gift okay?”

“Okay, but do me a favor and tell Steve I’m not sulking.”

“Steve, what do you really think about your flying trapeze lessons?”

“Actually, I’m really excited the more I think about it, but I have a request. Will you take them with me? It would be a great thing to do together.”

“If I didn’t know you better I’d think you’re being sarcastic.”

“Oh no, we’re going to have a blast flying through the air together. Do you think they’ll let me be your catcher?”

“Funny, will you let Brutus in? I’m going to bed and by the way I’m going out to dinner tomorrow night with Kitty. You’re on your own for dinner, but I won’t be out late.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in a little bit; I’m going to look up this flying trapeze company.”

“Joy, I’ve created a monster.”

~~~~~

“Halo, my head still hurts from last night, is there anything exciting on the schedule for today?”

“An exciting mystery is what I’d call it. A Mr. Jones called from the Woodland Park Zoo and wanted you to return his call; he wouldn’t tell me what it’s about.”

“Do you think someone took a lion or a tiger? Now that would be exciting… Can I have my usual double shot, soy latte please?”

“You bet.”

“Good morning, Woodland Park Zoo, this is Josey, how can I direct your call?”

“Hello Josey, this is Corny Myers returning Mr. Jones call.”

“Hold please.”

“Hello, Michael speaking.”

“This is Corny Myers returning your call, how can I help you?”

“You’ve been recommended for a delicate matter here at the zoo, are you available to come by this morning? This is a time sensitive matter.”

“Yes, I can be there in thirty minutes, where can I find you?”

“I’ll have a visitors pass waiting for you at the main gate and I’ll have them call me when you arrive and I’ll pick you up.”

“I have a Labrador dog I’m babysitting; will that be a problem if I bring him along?”

“No, but please keep him on a leash.”

“Come on Brutus, were heading to the Woodland Park Zoo. Grab your leash; I’m afraid they won’t let you roam free there.”

“Did a giraffe get snatched? ha ha.”

“You know, I have no idea—we’ll know soon enough though. Do you need to lift your leg before we go?

“Yes, can we go over to Green Lake?”

“Yep, at least it’s not raining today.”

“You spoke to soon Corny, grab your umbrella or you’re going to melt.”

“Crap, hurry up.”

“Twenty seconds flat, my all time record.”

“At least there wasn’t a lot of traffic, we’re right on time and please behave yourself while were around the other animals.”

“Don’t I always?
”

“Well, there’s the ‘Gloria’ incident.”

“Cripes, am I going to be reminded of that indiscretion for the rest of my life?”

“I’m teasing you—settle down.”

“Mr. Jones said to pick-up my pass at the main gate. Come on, there isn’t a line over there.”

“Hi, I’m Corny Myers and there’s supposed to be a visitor pass waiting for me.”

“Yes, here it is, let me call Mr. Jones and let him know you’re here.”

“Thank you.”

“That must be him zooming up the hill in a golf cart. I don’t know if I’m going to fit in that thing. What if it rolls? He doesn’t look like a very good driver; ask him if you can drive.”

“You promised to behave yourself… ”

“Zip, zip, I’m zipping my lips shut.”

“Ms. Myers, thank you for coming over on such short notice; if you don’t mind I’d like to get right to the point of my urgent call. This is a private and sensitive matter, which will require your discretion. Can you guarantee that?”

“Absolutely, but please call me Corny.”

“Oh, this is going to be good and juicy, I can tell.”

“Shush… “

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry, I was talking to myself.”

“My office is up ahead in that red brick building and my head bird zookeeper will be joining us.”

“Oh, this is such a beautiful area of the zoo. You have a wonderful view of the water, and it’s filled with white and black swans. I’d have a hard time working with this view out my window.”

“Hi, I’m Connie and that’s the problem, I was supposed to be feeding the birds but Michael started kissing me and one thing led to another and in my state of lust I might have left the penguins zookeeper’s door unlatched. When I went back to finish feeding them, Harry—the Humboldt Penguin, was gone. I’ve spent all night looking for him—he can’t escape the zoo but if I report him missing from his enclosure I’ll have to explain how he got out. The Humboldt penguins are an endangered species and if I can’t find him we both could lose our jobs.”

“Show me where Harry is kept and I’ll see what I can do.”

“I told you so, again.”

“I’m going to re-name you, ‘Brutus the smart-aleck’.”

“Let’s take the golf cart; it’s quicker.”

“Oh Connie, can you slow down a little? You almost lost Brutus on that last corner and my boyfriend is really fond of him.”

“I’m sorry, I’m really anxious to get Harry back. The public, especially the kids, really love him and I’m getting questions about where he is. I can only stall the other zookeepers for so long. I’ve told them he’s not feeling well, but they’re going to get suspicious soon.”

“Tell me a little about what penguins need and like?”

“I feed them live trout, smelt, and herring and they’ve recently been relocated to a brand new, environmentally friendly exhibit mimicking the rocky, arid coastline of their home in Peru. The new exhibit is located on the north end of the zoo, near the Rain Forest Food Pavilion. They used to be located all the way in the south corner of the zoo and didn’t get a lot of visitors because it was out of the way. Now it’s one of the main attractions of the zoo.”

“Sounds like I should start here and work my way to his old exhibit; do you have a map I can use?”

“Yes, you can take this one, but I’ve already looked there, it was the first place I looked.”

“Trust me; this is what I do for a living.”

“Here’s a walkie-talkie. When you find him call me and I’ll come pick him up, I’d hate for you to hurt him.”

“No problem Connie.”

“It sounds like she doesn’t trust you with her precious Harry. If Mr. Jones would’ve kept his pants on during working hours he wouldn’t be missing in the first place.”

“I know, let’s go find Harry; I have to get home and change for my cooking class with Kitty. Steve is going to love his Friday night present, a gourmet meal prepared by me, but I still don’t have anything for tonight. Do you think he’d like a set of golf clubs?”

“Uh, has he ever golfed before?”

“I don’t know, but don’t all guys golf?”

“
You’re making this to complicated; get him a case of beer, a bag of Doritos, and a porno DVD; mystery solved…

“You know that’s a great idea, excluding the porno of course. I’ll pick-up a bunch of things for a fun ‘guy’ night and I’ll spend the day with Kitty. Woo hoo! One more down… ”

“You might want to pick-up the speed on this cart; we still have a couple miles to cover.”

“Brutus, tell me I’m not hallucinating? Isn’t that a penguin with his wing out, as if he’s hitch-hiking?”

“I believe it is, pull over and ask him what’s up.”

“Harry, we’ve been looking all over for you, are you okay?”

“No, I’m not. Every night, while my keeper does the wild thing all over the zoo with that goofy guy, I go out and swim in the big fancy fountain; it reminds me of my home in Peru. But last night they were doing it in my fountain and I had to wait until they were done. And then to by utter disgust my webbed foot slipped on something, which suspiciously looked like a used condom, and I hurt my wing. Then I slipped down the embankment behind the fountain and it’s taken this long for me to climb back out and to get this far. Do you have any herring, I’m starving?”