Be My December (28 page)

When would this stop?

Why the fuck couldn’t I open my eyes?

His menacing grin looked back at me; the snigger on his lips as his body pounded relentlessly into mine didn’t leave. Words of pure and utter evil whispered through my ears like a tormenting storm.

“Eden!” A distant voice sounded through the torment as if a light was beaming through the darkness. “Come on, wake up baby!”

I felt my body being jerked, being pushed into the mattress below and then lifted so sternly. I felt a pressure on my hips. The more I moved the quicker I was being saved from my torment and brought toward safety.

Finally my frantic eyes flew open and the air that fiercely entered my lungs caused me to cough at the sensation. I desperately tried to take in my surroundings and that was when I realized someone was sitting on me, pinning me to the bed. My fists automatically clenched, and I beat into the rigid chest in defense. I knew I had woken up, so why was I still in my nightmare?

“Eden, babe! It’s me. It’s Ky.”

His arms wrapped around my back, and he pulled me up until I was sitting and tucked against the nakedness of his chest.

It was Ky.

I fell against his warmth and completely came undone. Tears streamed down my face as I tried to allow my mind to catch up with reality. I was at my weakest. I was falling apart at a fast rate and I was losing control. My mind flew back to my appointments with Doctor Sheree Evans, the psychologist I was referred to after the rape, and the many times she had told me how to overcome my panic attacks. I grabbed hold of the memory like my life depended on it. One, two breathe in, one, two breathe out. I slammed my eyes shut and repeated this over and over in my head until I felt myself swim into the current of calm while my body still shook.

“Please say something.” There was his deep panicked voice again. I pulled myself away from the comfort of his chest and shifted my gaze to lock onto his. He brought his hands to cup my face and looked at me with concern. 

“I’m okay,” I choked out. I slammed my eyes shut momentarily; trying desperately to avoid the look that he was giving me. I hated pity. “Please don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“You are looking at me like you pity me.”

“I am worried about you Eden. I don’t pity you.” His thumbs ran under my eyes taking away the fresh tears that had fallen. “Tell me what I can do to make you stop shaking.”

“I don’t know.”

I watched as his face shifted to something of thought. All of a sudden he had released my body and climbed out of bed leaving me completely and utterly confused. I watched him with wide curious eyes as he walked into his robe, only to return fully dressed in sweatpants, a hoodie, and a scarf wrapped around his neck.

“Get out of bed. I am taking you somewhere. Wear this.”

He handed me one of his hoodies and left the room allowing me to dress. What the hell was happening and where was he taking me? I followed his orders and crawled out of bed then slipped his hoodie over my shoulders and was instantly cocooned by warmth.

I walked out of his room in search of where he had escaped to. When I found him, I couldn’t have ever imagined what I would find. He stood by the door, holding a blanket and what looked like two travel mugs and an expectant look on his face.

“You ready?”

I nodded, completely at a loss for words.

We walked down the silent hall of floor fourteen and took the elevator to the roof. The moment we stepped out I wrapped my arms around my body and tried to take in everything around me.

Beauty to me was the smile of a young child, the smell of rain at the end of a hot day, and seeing an elderly couple walking hand in hand. It was the feeling of comfort provided in love, overwhelming contentment of silence and feeling completely at ease. Right now beauty was the city lights dancing on the river before me, blanketed against the midnight sky above and the sleeping city below.

I stood in awe; it felt like Ky and I were the only two people in the world. He brought me to the roof of the apartment building and now as I watched him pull together two lounge chairs, I felt beauty in so many forms. He held his hand out to me and I walked toward him and grabbed his offered hand.

“This is where I go when my mind won’t shut off, when my thoughts get lost between reality and nightmares, and when I need to forget that there is anyone else in the world. This can be your place too.”

My heart flipped over in my chest at the enormity of his words. I had nothing that would be a good enough response. He moved us toward the lounge chairs which he had pulled together. After he sat down I joined him and soon we were both huddled under the thick blanket and laying in silence as the darkness surrounded us but this darkness was the brightest I could ever imagine.

“Thank you,” I whispered into the night air, rolling my head to the side to find him gazing at the sky above as if he had a billion thoughts running through his head. Upon feeling my eyes on him, he shifted until his gaze landed on mine.

“Whenever you need to escape you just let me know.”

••••

I woke early and slipped out of Ky’s warmth. After we came down from the roof, I collapsed into a deep sleep, the kind of sleep I hadn’t experienced in years. Today I was heading into the city with Darren from the magazine to look at two locations for the shoot. One was a vacant warehouse in Brooklyn and the other was an industrial style art gallery. I was excited about the thought of getting the location locked down so I could then concentrate of working more closely with the stylists.  I was also excited about keeping busy.

After drinking a cup of coffee and showering and getting ready for the day, I snuck back into Ky’s room to find him sitting up in bed with his iPad in his hands.

“Hey,” He whispered as I made my way towards the bed. I sat on the edge near his hip and he immediately grabbed my hand. “How are you this morning?”

My thumb swept over his skin before I replied, “I’m actually pretty okay. I slept like a baby when we came back from the roof.”

“You wrapped yourself around me so tightly last night.”

“Sorry.”

“I loved it. Never apologize for that.” Ky said with a sincere smile. “Where are you off to today?”

“Daniel from Production is picking me up at seven and we are going to look at some locations for the main shoot and then I’m heading into the studio to do some shots of a couple of the artists that are recording today.”

“Call me and let me know how you go.” He asked just ask my phone chimed with a text from Daniel.

“I better go, Daniel has just arrived.”

I hesitated briefly before I stood from the bed. His eyes took in my face and dropped to my lips and for a moment the idea of kissing him goodbye fleeted through my thoughts and I think he realized by the smirk that appeared on his lips. I stood in astonishment as he pulled himself out of bed and moved towards me with crazy bed hair, stubble and wearing only cotton pajama pants.

His hands cupped my face and I swear to god I lost the ability to breathe as his face dropped closer to mine. What was he doing? He leaned in until his mouth was close to my ear and quietly he murmured, “Have a good day. I’ll see you tonight.”

My body tingled under his closeness and the perfect goodbye was finished with a lingering kiss on my cheek.

I was deep into proofing the latest issue for production when Ashlyn bounded into my office and promptly positioned herself on the edge of my desk. It had been a couple of days since I had seen her, and I had a feeling it was because a certain Australian had decided to stay in town. 

“You seem… happy,” she stated as if it was the most shocking statement in the world.

My deep laughter filled my office.

“Why does that sound like the thought of me being happy is surprising to you?”

“Shit, I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean that you seem calmer, more at ease, and fuck, you aren’t here half as much as you have been.”

“I’ve got more important things to focus on now.”

“Like Eden?”

“Yes like Eden.”

“Is everything okay there?”

“I think so. She had a nightmare last night and seeing her like that scared me Ash, I just couldn’t wake her and then when she did she just shut down. Her nightmares as so embedded within her; it’s like peeling back the most delicate layers because one wrong move will completely destroy everything.”

“Have you two spoken?” Ashlyn asked.

“She opened up to me about everything yesterday.”

“That’s massive.”

“I know.”

Ashlyn jumped off the desk and moved to my office door then closed it. She leaned back on the wood and closed her eyes. Oh fuck. I knew that look. I knew exactly what was coming.

“Can I completely change the subject?” She didn’t give me a second to reply before she dropped the bombshell. “So I may have had sex.”

Why in the world she chose to have conversations like this with me never ceased to amaze me. I rubbed my hands over my face and sat back in my chair then put on my best friend hat. Fuck, this girl owed me big time.

“Lachlan is obviously still in town and he has been staying at my place and he kind of stayed in my bed.” She continued in a rush.

“So you are saying that his cock kind of fell into your pussy?”

“Well when you put it like that. What the fuck am I doing Ky?” She sat on the couch and dropped her face into her hands and her shoulders sank. I had watched the demise of Ashlyn at the hands of Lachlan, and it was something I never wanted to see again.

“Do you love him?”

She nodded.

“Well there is your answer. Fight for what you love. Nothing is worth it, if you don’t have to fight for it.”

Advice that I would soon have to live by.

••••

“We are going out tonight. Be ready in an hour,” I announced as I walked into the living room after showering and dressing in dark denim jeans and a black collared shirt.

I had arrived home from work to find Eden sitting at the dining room table engrossed in her own work and tapping away furiously at her laptop. Photos of locations were spread out over the glass table top and she apologized profusely for making a mess which in response I told her not to worry about it. I knew she had spent the day busily organizing the shoot, her emails that came through were regular and she was in complete business mode with any correspondence we had. It was pretty damn sexy.

But now she was in relaxation mode and was curled up on the couch with her Kindle and a distant look in her eyes.  She was so engrossed that she didn’t even hear me talking to her.

“Eden!” I said a little louder.

“Huh?!” she asked finally looking up from her Kindle.

“Good book?”

“Uh yes and you just interrupted an epic kissing scene.”

“Well I apologize to the characters for interrupting, but as I was saying, we are going out in an hour so you need to get ready.”

She furrowed her brow before looking back down at her Kindle.

Come on Eden, say it! One simple word, no. Reject me. You can do it.

“Yep, okay.”

Fuck!

Rising from the couch, she placed her Kindle in the side pocket and headed down the hall without another word. I stood leaning against the kitchen island scrolling through my phone when I heard the shower start. I looked outside at the torrential rain; it had been raining for the past two days. Winter had officially set in.

“Ky!” Her voice sounded from the hall and I whipped around to find her standing in the hall, her hair wet and hanging over her shoulders and her body covered only by a towel. I couldn’t control my eyes from running over every inch of her and taking in the curves that we on full display and enjoying the vision before me.

“Yeah?” I asked, my eyes finally meeting hers.

“What should I wear?”

“You look very good in that towel but I guess jeans and a sweater will be fine.”

She rushed back down the hall and I couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction. I was due to leave for Los Angeles again the next morning for meetings with Simon Davenport at the Beautify office and the thought of leaving wasn’t as exciting as usual because I would be leaving Eden here especially after her comment about not having anyone here.

I looked at the clock on the far wall of the dining room; it was close to seven and my stomach announced to the silent apartment that it was hungry.

“Eden, are you nearly done?”

“I’m ready.” She walked into the living room in skinny jeans, a tight white sweater, and brown boots then crossed the space until she stood before me looking like she had the world on her shoulders. She had something to say but was hesitating.

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing. I’m ready to go.”

“Eden, tell me what you are thinking about,” I demanded and crossed my arms over my chest. I could stand like this for hours. Frustration flew over her face and her gaze flashed with hesitation before she sighed deeply.

“I don’t know why you are doing this. You know I can’t say no so why do you even ask. Just tell me, don’t ask me.”

“Are you fucking serious?” I hissed. “Babe, last night you told me everything. It killed me hearing what you went through but you know what, it’s made me more determined. I am not going to tell you to do anything. I will continue to ask, and I will be sure to make you see that you can say no to me, that you can say no to anyone. Do you have any clue how dangerous what you do is? One wrong person Eden— you know what, I can’t even think about that. I’m not an asshole Eden, but I will do whatever it takes to make you see that you don’t have to fear every single person who comes into your life.”