Beautiful Chaos (3 page)

Jenna pulled out her phone to check the room number one more time. “Room 1154. Oh my God, Larkin. What if when we walk in he’s hooked up to all sorts of tubes and other apparatuses’? I can’t see my baby brother like that.”

“Calm the fuck down, babe. He will be fine. He got his ass beat, as he should have. Fuckin’ around with drugs he deserves to get his ass beat. Little fucker. Maybe it scared him straight.”

Jenna’s eyes grew huge. “That’s my baby brother! You could show a little sympathy.”

Shaking my head I said, “That used to be until I was laying in the hospital bed. I got my ass beat, and I needed it. My mom was all about talking, trying to make life daises and butterflies. I don’t talk, you know that. Now getting my ass beat that I understand.”

Evie
started wiggling around and lifted her head off my shoulder. Rubbing her little fists over her eyes she looked around. Forming her sweet face into a scowl she asked, “Where at daddy?”

“Uncle Kota has a booboo so we came to see him in the hospital. I think Aunt Mac is here though and
she wanted to take you to the beach. Does that sound fun?”

Evie
bobbled her head with a huge smile crossing her face. Just as we stepped off the elevator Mac was walking out of her brother’s room, tears in her eyes. Lifting her head she saw us walking down the hall and ran to Jenna. Throwing theirs arms around each other I could hear their cries.

Jenna was the first to pull away and asked, “How bad is he?”

Mac bit her top lip and dropped her eyes to the floor. “He got the shit beat out of him but he’ll be fine. Mom on the other hand, she’s about to lose it. After losing dad and now all the shit Kota is putting her through, she’s not doing too well.”

“Is she in his room?” Jenna asked, walking towards the room.

Evie started reaching for Mac. “TT Mac! Me miss you. Tan we doe to da beesh?”

Mac wiped under her eyes then grabbed
Evie, hugging her close. “I missed you too babygirl. We can do anything you want. Today is Princess Evie day.”

Evie
clapped her hands and kissed Mac. “Tank you.”

Jenna turned to
Evie, kissing her cheek. “Love you sweet girl. Be good, ok? Mommy and daddy see you in a little bit.”

Evie
leaned to hug Jenna then me. As Mac turned to walk away Evie yelled, “Wuv you.”

Jenna and I both blew kisses down the hall then turned to face Kota’s door. Taking a deep breath Jenna stared at the door.

“We goin’ in babe or just goin’ to stand here?” I wanted to lighten her mood, try joking around.”

Exhaling
, Jenna slowly nodded and said, “Yep, let’s do this.”

Grabbing the door handle I opened the door, motioning for Jenna to go in first. Taking the few steps to get inside Kota’s room took Jenna what felt like five minutes.

One of Kota’s eyes was swollen shut, his nose was clearly broken, his bottom lip busted, left arm in a cast, and his left leg was covered in bandages. He looked pretty banged up but was breathing on his own, he would be fine just like I had said.

Ann was asleep in the chair next to Kota while Kota’s one eye was trained on the television on the wall.
Jenna must have finally looked at her brother because her sudden intake in breath and the small sob that escaped her woke up her mom.

Ann jumped from her chair and ran to us. Wrapping her arms around both of us she let her tears fall.

Keeping my eyes on Kota he never took his one good eye off the television.

Ann finally let us go and looked at her son. “He won’t say anything. He won’t talk to anyone. No one knows for sure what happened. All we know is he went with a friend to make a drug deal and something went wrong. Kota’s friend called 911 but left the scene before anyone got there.”

Jenna went to stand beside Kota and bent down so she was at his level. “Kota please talk. Tell someone what happened. Tell us who did this to you. We all love you and want you safe.”

Never acknowledging Jenna he blinked once but kept his gaze straight ahead. Feeling my anger rise I took a few steps back and took a deep breath.

“Do you mind if I talk to Kota, alone?” I asked, looking at my mother in-law.

She nodded slightly and stood from her hospital chair. “I’m going to go call and check on Mac and get something to eat. I’ll be back in a little bit.”

Kota looked at his mom then at me. I swear I saw fear pass over his face before his blank, cold stare was back.

CHAPTER 5

Ann and Jenna both hugged Kota then walked out of the door, letting it close behind them. Once we were alone I grabbed a chair and scooted it up so I was face to face with Kota.

“
Ya know I could kick your ass right now. After everything your family has gone through in the last year and you pull this shit. Then I realized this is exactly what I did when I lost my dad.”

Kota didn’t mo
ve his head but brought his stare to meet mine. After staring at me a few moments he finally asked, “What?”

Shaking my head I sighed. “Took my ass getting beat to fucking hell before realizing this shit is serious. It can and it fucking will kill you. I fucked over everyone that I cared about. All I wanted was that high, that numbness to ease the pain. I fucked my uncle’s girl, that’s how low I was. I don’t want to see that shit
happen to you. This road you’re on is not good. You will end up dead or have no one left. Is that what you want? I got a girl pregnant at sixteen and she hated me so much that she overdosed, killing herself and my baby. Those people you call friends are not your friends. Have any one of them been to see you, check and make sure you’re ok? No, not a damn one. But you know who’s here? Your mom, your sisters, me. We love you and we care. Your mom and Jenna and Mac have been through enough. They don’t need the added pain of watching you slowly kill yourself. Because that’s what you’re doing. Heroin is no shit to fuck with. I lost someone important to me to that shit. I don’t want to lose my brother too.”

Kota’s
good eye got huge and I knew I had gotten through to him. “I just wanted to feel normal again. Forget that my dad was gone. I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

Resting my hand on his shoulder I said, “I know. I was in your shoes not too long ago. I know how you feel. Shit sucks
. But you’re stronger than that.”

Shaking his head Kota closed his eyes. “No I’
m not. And I don’t want to be.”

“What were you taking?”

Kota shrugged. “Just smoking pot”

“Dammit, Kota. What got your ass kicked? What were you doing then?”

“It was just pot. Not that big of a deal.”

Slamming my fist into the bed beside him I got in his face, “Not that big of a deal? You
shittin’ me? I started with a little pot here and there, ease the pain. Make me feel good. I ended up using it all. Fuck, Kota, this shit isn’t something you fuck around with. Drug dealers and their flunkies wouldn’t think twice about killing you. It’s what they do. Take this as a little example of just what happens when you fuck with them. Who was it?”

Kota scrunched his face and asked, “I know you think I need your help but I don’t. I don’t need my so called big brother stepping in trying to save the day. You’re not my dad.”

I felt like I had the wind knocked outta me. Drawing back I took a few steps away. “Fine. That’s what you want, that’s what you got. But next time your ass gets beat or worse don’t fucking call my house asking for help. You’re a big boy, you handle it.”

Scoffing, Kota rolled his eyes. Fuckin’ punk. “Whatever.”

I took one last look at Kota before I turned and walked out his door. I saw Jenna and her mom sitting in the waiting room. Looked like they were talking about something painful, Kota I’m sure. Little shit.

Pacing the hallway trying to cool off I felt Jenna walking towards me.

“Guessing it didn’t go so well?” Jenna asked with her sweet southern voice.

Huffing I shook my head. “Basically he told me to fuck off I’m not his dad.”

Jenna stopped in her tracks. I could see her anger boiling. Before I had the chance to say anything she was storming passed me and into Kota’s room. My wife was the sweetest most caring person I knew…until you pissed her off. Then she was hell on earth. I almost felt bad for the wrath of Jenna that Kota was about to get…almost.

Following Jenna into her brother’s room I braced myself. I knew it was about to get interesting. And I knew better than to fuck with my wife, especially pregnant and pissed off. This was all on Kota.

“You little fucker!” Jenna screamed as she stomped to the side of Kota’s bed. Jenna was barely over five feet one inch, her brother had a good six inches and fifty pounds on her but right now he looked about eight inches tall.

“How dare you! I swear if you weren’t already in the hospital I would personally put your ass in here. Larkin knows what you’re going through, he’s been there. He sees you like a brother and loves you like one. He came here to help your punk ass.
If you can’t show him the respect he deserves then fuck you. We can go home and you can figure out the clusterfuck you call a life, all on your own. You’re my baby brother and I love you, probably more than most sisters love their annoying little brothers, but I’ll be damned if I let you disrespect my husband like you did.”

I could see the tears forming in Kota’s eyes. Jenna had never talked that way to him.

“Did he tell you what he said to me?” Kota asked, almost choking.

Suddenly I was under Jenna’s scrutiny. Looking right at me Jenna said to Kota, “I have a pretty good idea what he told me and you deserved every bit of it.
” Jenna’s lip twitched almost like she wanted me right now. Moving her eyes from me back to Kota she went on, “The shit you have been pulling is bullshit. If you were my kid I would ship your ass to military school, straighten your ass out. And kick your ass the whole way there. Honestly right now you don’t deserve any respect. You should be thankful Larkin wants to help. He could have said fuck him but he didn’t. He took time away from his team, time away from a very important game to come here and help you. You at least owe him the respect of listening to what he has to say.”

Kota glared at his older sister. His cold eyes slowly started filling with emotion. “I just hate life right now Jenna. You’re off living the perfect life with your new family. Mac will be leaving for college soon and mom is not the same mom. She’s never happy and I can hear her crying at night. I didn’t want this hurt anymore and I found a way to make it all go away.”

Stepping up to Kota’s bed I rested my hand on Jenna’s. “You didn’t make the hurt go away. You just numbed it for a few hours. As soon as your high was gone the pain was back. Do you really think your mom deserves the shit you have been putting her through? She lost your dad and now you’re flirting with killing yourself. Is that what you want? You want your mom to have the hurt of losing your dad and you?”

Kota slowly shook his head and dropped it so his chin was resting on his chest. I heard his sniffle before I saw the tears running down his cheeks. “No. I don’t want to hurt my mom but I’m tired of hurting.”

Jenna placed her hand over Kota’s heart and said, “Don’t you think I don’t hurt every day? Mom, Mac, Gram, Aunt Beth? We all hurt but you need to find another way to deal with the pain. But the drugs and partying isn’t working.”

“Maybe you need to get away for a while. Get away from those shitty friends. Have time to figure shit out and get your life together,” I said tossing my hands in the air.

Kota looked between Jenna and I then looked me in the eye and asked, “Can I live with you guys?”

Grunting I shook my head. “Hell no. I meant go to rehab, talk to a psychologist. That’s what I ended up doing and it changed my life. Granted I still fucked up and had set backs but it helped. I think that’s what you need.”

There was a soft knock on the door before Ann poked her head in. “Everything ok?”

The three of us all looked to her. Kota surprised us when he shook his head and said, “I’m sorry mom.”

Ann’s eyes filled with tears and spilled over. “Oh, honey. I know. I love you so much but you need to change. You can’t live your life like this.”

Jenna grabbed Kota’s hand and her mom’s hand. Looking Kota straight in the eye she said, “Kota agreed to go to rehab and get help. Before we leave we will have everything set up and ready for him to go.”

Ann smiled and looked at me. “Thank you. I think this will be the best thing for him. Hopefully he will be back to his old self by the time he leaves. I miss my baby boy.”

Kota moved his hand out from under Jenna’s and reached for his mom’s hand. Shifting his eye from the three of us his voice broke as he spoke, “I’m sorry I hurt y’all. I want to be better. I hope this helps and I don’t lose any of you.”

We all shook our heads at the same time. Jenna smacked her brother in his arm. “Shut up. No one is going anywhere. We are all here for you.”

CHAPTER 6

The next morning all the arrangements had been made for Kota to leave the hospital and go straight to Gulf Coast Rehabilitation and Treatment. A rehab center about 3 hours from Fairhope.