Beautiful Confusion (New Adult Romance) Room 105 (18 page)

Carol nodded, and our conversation ended. She went to her room, and I went to mine.

I changed into a baby doll nightgown and got into bed, leaving the door ajar for Duncan. A short while later, he returned to the house and entered my room, his backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Have the logistics been worked out?” he asked.

“Yes. I told Carol this where you were going to sleep.”

He put his backpack on the nightstand and smiled. “You’re all cuddled up, snug as a caterpillar in a cocoon.”

I returned his smile. I liked that he’d made a butterfly reference.

He stripped down to his boxer-briefs, and I teased him. “Look who’s wearing underwear.”

“I wear it sometimes.” He climbed into bed with me. “Are you wearing panties?”

“I always do.” I sucked in my breath when he reached under my girlish nightgown to check.

He slipped his fingers past the waistband, going right for what he wanted. The hot-blooded side of him had kicked in. The guy who loved sex, who seemed to live and breathe for it.

As he rubbed the most intimate part of me, I shifted onto my side to kiss him. I worked my hand into his underwear, too.

Delicious foreplay: tongues dancing, hearts beating, the sweet pressure of his fingers inside me, the heat of my hand wrapped around the length of him.

He worked his fingers in a warm, wet rhythm. My stomach quivered. My limbs went taut.

“I think I like sex as much you do,” I whispered, my voice quickening in raspy pants.

“Innocent Vanessa.” His tone was rough, sandpapering the air and grazing my skin. “There’s more to come.”

More. To. Come.

We tumbled over the bed and went passionately mad, kissing and caressing and creating sparks of fevered energy.

This was how crazy should be.

Once we were naked, we kissed and caressed some more, bunching the pillows and scattering the covers.

Hungry for what he needed, for what we both wanted, he removed a condom from his backpack.

Riiip
.

He tore into it and showed me how to put the latex on him. It wasn’t something I’d learned in a sex education class like some teenagers. My homeschooling didn’t include that sort of thing.

Innocent Vanessa.

I reached over and turned off the lamp, making the room dark except for wall-socket nightlights shining in decorative shapes: a seashell, a snowflake, a star. The effect was magical.

But so was being with Duncan.

He entered me. There was no pain, not like last time. I sighed in relief. He pushed deeper, filling me all the way. He looked dangerously primal. Twisted pieces of his hair fell across his face, like strands of licorice. I captured one in my mouth and sucked on it. He sucked on my hair, too.

Then he changed tactics. Clutching my waist, he rolled over, seating me on top of him. There I was, sprawled across his lap. He lifted me up and down, teaching me how to ride him. I smiled like a siren, enjoying the lesson. The friction felt wonderfully wicked. My tiny breasts bounced, my nipples perfectly pebbled.

He used his fingers between my thighs, rubbing and playing, teasing me while I moved in a snakelike motion.

At that free-flowing moment, I wanted to get a tattoo with the sexuality symbol on it, wrapped around my navel. But I wanted butterflies on my stomach, too. I imagined a design with both shapes delicately entwined, defining me and my feelings for Duncan.

The fantasy swirled inside my head.

Swirled, spun, turned…

I rocked faster on his lap. He was still pushing me toward an orgasm, using his fingers as the catalyst.

Snakes, butterflies…

Heat, moisture…

I shattered into a million erotic pieces, coming for the man I loved. He came, too, just moments after I did, arching toward me and growling into my ear.

I collapsed on top of him and neither of us moved for a while. Then, finally, he trailed a languid hand down my spine and rested it against my butt.

He said, “I’ve got to get this condom off before it comes loose on its own and gets messy.”

I didn’t care about the messiness, but I let him dispose of the protection and come back to bed.

When he returned, I cuddled in his arms and said, “I could stay like this forever.”

“There’s no such thing as forever.”

I frowned at his response. He’d told me that once before. “Can’t we just pretend?”

“There’s already going to be enough pretending going on.”

My frown intensified. He was referring to him agreeing to be the warrior. “Are you backpedaling?”

“No. But I just wish it didn’t have to be that way.”

“Then you shouldn’t be dating a girl like me.” Feeling hurt and flustered, I moved away from him.

He reined me back into his arms. “Don’t talk about us not being together.”

I liked that he’d gotten possessive. I liked it so much I nibbled roughly on his shoulder, staking my claim.

He groaned. “Keep that up and I’m going to want you again.”

“Go ahead and want me.”

“Don’t think I won’t.”

“I’m not stopping you.” I wanted it to happen again.

And it did. By God, it did.

The foreplay exploded. We kissed and clawed and tore into each other with breathless fury. He grappled for another condom, and I ripped it open, eager to sheath him.

He thrust so hard and deep, I thought he was trying to fuck the insanity out of me. But in the morning when the sun blasted into the room, nothing had changed.

I was still as schizophrenic as ever.

***

I tackled breakfast, fixing a batch of blueberry pancakes while fantasizing about a future with Duncan. This was the type of attachment Carol had warned me about. I doubted that Duncan had even the slightest thought of settling down with me or anyone else. For now, he was sticking a spoon into the batter and stealing tastes, much in the way he’d been stealing pieces of my heart.

Carol poured the juice, and we all sat down together. She and I took small bites, but Duncan ate with vigor, dousing his pancakes with syrup and topping them with freshly made whipped cream.

My meds were on the table, as usual. I hadn’t taken them yet. But I would as soon as I ate enough to coat my stomach and help digest them.

My cell phone rang. I could hear it blaring from my room. “I better get that.”

“Get what?” Duncan asked.

I hopped up. “My phone.”

“I don’t hear anything,” he said.

“Neither do I,” said Carol.

Were they deaf? It was as clear as a church bell and nearly as loud. I dashed into my room to answer it. I didn’t even check to see whose name or number was on the screen.

“Vanessa?” A familiar voice came on the line.

Oh, my Lord. I sank into my desk chair, my legs wobbling. It was Abby.

“They’re gone,” she said. “My people are gone. Seven was supposed to come to my room last night, but he never showed up. He’s never done that before. He always visits me when he says he’s going to.”

I white-knuckled the phone. “Duncan agreed to help me search for Room 105.”

“Then you need to do it right away. Today, if possible.”

“I’ll talk to him. And don’t worry.” I did my best to assure her. “We’ll get your people back.”

“Thank you.” She sounded on the verge of tears.

I was on the edge of them, too. Now I had to go back into the kitchen and tell Duncan and Carol what was going on.

Abby and I said goodbye, and I brought the phone with me in case she called back.

I resumed my seat, my pulse skittering. “It was Abby. Her people are gone. They got stuck in 105 last night.”

Duncan and Carol exchanged a look. I hated it when people did that. It was especially unsettling coming from them. They were supposed to be supporting me. I wanted to throw my temper at them. But I bit back my anger.

I spoke deliberately to Duncan, trying to sound more rational than I was. “You and I need to search for 105. Today, if possible,” I added, repeating what Abby had said to me.

He pushed away his pancakes. My aunt had stopped eating, too. I went back to picking at mine, mostly because I needed to keep busy. I was terribly anxious.

“Where are we supposed to look?” Duncan asked. “I don’t have a clue where to get started.”

“I do. The Mission Inn Hotel. I think it’s there, inside room 105.”

Carol fussed with the napkin on her lap. She looked as if she’d barely slept last night, even though she’d been exhausted when she’d gone to bed.

She said to me, “You should call and make a reservation to rent that room.” She seemed eager for me and Duncan to get it over with.

“I hope it’s there,” he said. He seemed eager, as well. He obviously didn’t want the search to be more difficult than necessary.

Neither did I. I wanted for it to happen just as quickly.

“Remember what we talked about,” Carol said to him.

Damn it, I thought. She was harping on the doctor/9-1-1 thing. Did she have to belabor the point?

Duncan, of course, was all ears for her.

Annoyed, I reached for my meds and scooped them into my hand. Then I realized that I shouldn’t take them. Wouldn’t it be easier for the 105 door to appear if I wasn’t medicated?

While they were engaged in conversation, I stuffed the pills into my jeans pocket. Then I picked up my orange juice and took a big gulp, making a show of it, as if I’d just swallowed my pills. Later, I would flush them in the toilet.

Carol glanced at me just as I put my glass down. The ruse had worked. Neither she nor Duncan would be the wiser.

My cell phone sounded. A text was coming in. Was it Abby? I checked and saw that it was Lori.

I looked up and noticed that both Carol and Duncan were watching me. I could tell by their expressions that they’d heard the text. I almost told them it was Abby, just to freak them out. But I doubted that my twisted sense of humor would appeal to them this morning.

So I said, “It’s Lori.” She was reminding me that I hadn’t given her the details of my night with Duncan. But by now, I’d had two nights with him.

I wrote back,
He’s here with me. Talk later.
I wasn’t sure how long it would be before I talked to her. I couldn’t tell her that Duncan and I would be going to a hotel today and searching for the door to another dimension.

That wasn’t the sort of thing you told your one and only friend, a girl who had no idea that you were bat-shit crazy.

***

At three p.m., Duncan and I arrived at The Mission Inn. I’d called ahead and made the reservation and requested room 105. This hotel was used to people requesting specific rooms. Most likely, the reservations operator thought we would be ghost hunting in 105. As far as I knew, it wasn’t one of the rooms rumored to have paranormal activity, but that didn’t mean strange things hadn’t occurred there. Of course, nothing was as strange as what we had planned.

Duncan was armed with my doctor’s name and number. I understood that this was uncomfortable for him. He was doing it, nonetheless. I would be eternally grateful. But for now, I was scared of what I’d gotten myself into.

Was it possible that my hallucination would go too far and he would have to seek medical help for me?

Yes, I supposed it was. But it was also possible that I would search frantically for the door and wouldn’t find it. To me, that actually seemed worse. I didn’t know what
not
finding the door would do to me. If it would send me over an even deeper edge.

We approached the front desk, and Duncan smiled at the woman behind the counter. As friendly and calm as he appeared, putting on a face for the outside world, I knew he was as anxious as I was. No doubt about it, I’d put him in a precarious situation. I stood beside my lover, clutching the handle of my suitcase. I’d brought the modern kind with wheels.

The lobby loomed over me with its grand elegance, making me feel small but not insignificant. Regardless of how scared I was, I was here for a purpose.

We checked in and proceeded to our room.

Duncan unlocked the door, and we went in and set our bags aside. It was a deluxe room, with a queen-sized bed draped in white. The rest of the furniture boasted polished woods and natural tones. The carpet was a soft, mottled print. I had no idea where to begin.

Duncan started by opening the drapes and letting a flood of light inside. Then he asked, “Is that okay?”

“Yes,” I replied.

After that, silence.

Already, I was feeling like a caged animal. It was going to be my job to perform, to make something happen.

Duncan resorted to small talk. “This is really nice. The bed looks comfortable.”

“Yes, it does. Soft and fluffy.” To me all that whiteness seemed virginal. But the loss of my virginity was no longer an issue. It had already come and gone.

Neither of us considered turning on the TV. That would have been too much of a distraction.

Duncan sat on the edge of the bed, and I recalled that he’d never stayed at a hotel before. This would be his first experience. It hardly seemed to fair to him.

“Do you want to order something from room service?” I asked, trying to make it better for him.

“Do you?” he replied.

“Sure. Why not?” We’d had a hearty breakfast, but we’d gotten so busy preparing to come here, we’d skipped lunch. “A snack would be nice.”

He picked up the menu and checked out the selections. “How about the large fruit platter? We can share. Maybe a cheese platter, too? Oh, man, this looks good. They have cupcakes.”

I smiled at his boyish enthusiasm. “Go ahead and order.”

“The cupcakes, too?”

“Definitely.” If sweets were going to help him get through this, then I was all for it.

He returned my smile. He was so kind and beautiful. He deserved better than what I could give him. He deserved to have a normal girlfriend who would be taking in the sights with him or lounging by the pool. Thankfully, he was happy about the room service.

We both removed our shoes and tried to get comfy. I was glad I’d skipped my medication this morning. I didn’t know if one day was enough to make a difference, but at least I’d planted a seed within my own mind, hopefully increasing the chance of a hallucination. Still, I was nervous.