Beautiful Tragedy (A Standalone Romance Novel) (15 page)

I could hear him talking, but I didn’t want to listen.
I wanted to go home. I started walking away, and that’s when I heard him say, “I
have it too, Molly. I have cancer. I have a malignant tumor in my brain.” That
stopped me in my tracks.

I turned around and looked at him. I was searching his
eyes, his face for anything. I was all at once hoping he was making fun of me
somehow and he didn’t really have this awful thing in his head, and praying
that he couldn’t be that cruel.

“What are you talking about?”

He took a deep breath and he said, “When I was
fourteen I was diagnosed with what they called a pineal
germinoma
.
It’s a form of childhood tumors of the brain. It metastasized to my spinal
cord. I had surgeries, but they never could get it all. Part of it wrapped
itself around my brain stem. They did chemo, and radiation, and for a while I
was in remission. The doctor told me there was only like a one in five million
chance that it would ever come back….but it did. It’s inoperable again, but
they’re trying some new medications. That’s why I’m here too, just like you. I
should have told you before, but….”

“But you thought that would make things weird between
us? Trust me, that part I understand.” I couldn’t believe what he was telling
me, yet I did. It explained a lot. The special diet, the juice drinks with all
the vitamins, the fact that like me, he didn’t drink. “So, are you okay?”

“I’m doing okay, yeah. So far, it hasn’t grown and I’m
not having too many side effects from the meds.”

“The night you got sick…when we watched Benny and
Joon
?”

“Yeah, that was night four. I only take the meds five
days a week. Four is the worst. It’s today, in fact. So far, I’m hanging in.”

“Wow,” I was just blown away. “I’m sorry.”

He smiled and said, “For what?”

“That you have cancer,” I said. I know that sounded
stupid, but all of a sudden I was at a loss for words with him.

He laughed and said, “Me too. I’m sorry for you too.
Can I walk you home?” I nodded, and then I said, “Where’s Suzie?”

He said, “You’re the only girl who has ever called her
by her name. Thank you. She’s in the shop, getting a new starter. I’ll tell her
you asked about her though, that will make her happy.”

I laughed and said, “Are you a little bit crazy?”

“Just a little,” he agreed.

After that we walked in silence until we got to the
dorms. He even carried my little patient belongings bag for me. When we got
there he said, “I have a gig at Aqua tomorrow night. I think Jake and Megan are
coming. Would you like to go too?”

I had so much crap in my head at that moment I barely
knew my own name. “Can I let you know tomorrow?” I asked him.

“Sure,” he said. “Good night, Molly.”

“Good night Brock, and thank you.” I was used to my
cancer, and as bad as it sucked, it had become part of me by now. I wasn’t used
to his though, and I didn’t like it. I was glad that he took such good care of
himself though.

 
“Maybe you’ll
beat it for good this time,” I said.

“Sure,” he replied. “Good night, Molly.”

CHAPTER
SIXTEEN

BROCK

I walked home like one of Jake’s zombies. I couldn’t
believe I told her that. I hadn’t told anyone else besides Jake and of course
other medical people and stuff. My heart was breaking for her, and I got the
feeling that she was in the hospital for more than dehydration. I didn’t blame
her for not telling me though. She was right, back in school things got so
weird after I was diagnosed, even with my good friends. Except for Jake, of
course. He never treated me any differently than he had since we were seven.
I’m glad Molly has Megan too. She and Jake really were two peas in a pod, and
Molly and I really were lucky to have them both. I needed to remember to be
nicer to him. I wish he would make it easier.

When I finally got home, Jake was there on the couch,
staring at God knows what on the television. I went over and gave him a
backwards, sideways hug and said, “I love you man!”

He looked at me like I had grown a second head but
then he said, “Yeah, me too.” Then he went back to his TV. I started to head
for my room when I felt it…that tell-tale rumbling in my stomach. The one that
always hits me right before the nausea comes. I bypassed my room and headed for
the bathroom. I stood leaning against the counter for a minute, hoping that it
was just going to pass. When it did, I leaned down and splashed cold water on
my face. I reached for the towel and as I did, I suddenly felt the bile rise up
in the back of my throat. I moved quickly to the toilet and promptly deposited
the remnants of the avocado and turkey sandwich I had eaten for lunch. My hands
were shaking now and I could tell that this was going to be one of those nights.
I reached for the counter to pull myself up off the floor and my hand slipped.
I went down hard, luckily bracing the fall with my shoulder, rather than my
head.

“Hey, are you okay?”

It was Jake, knocking on the door. I didn’t answer
right away, so Jake just let himself in. He saw me on the floor and was on his
knees next to me in a flash. “Did you fall? Did you hit your head?”

“No, I hit my shoulder. I’m okay. Help me up, please.”

Jake did, and once I was back on my feet, another wave
of nausea hit and I went back down to the toilet. Jake, bless his heart, stood
there and waited until I was finished. When I had nothing left in my stomach to
expel, he handed me a wet washcloth and while I brushed my teeth, he went into
the kitchen and brought me my Zofran. I leaned against the counter again after
I put it under my tongue and I waited for the next wave to pass. Jake stayed
right there, not saying a word. You can’t buy friends like that.

When I thought I could move without the motion making
me want to puke again, I picked up the little metal wastebasket and a towel and
said, “I think I’ll take it in my room. Thank you, Jake.”

“No problem,” he said. “Let me know if you need
anything.”

“I will,” I said. Then on my way into the room I
looked over my shoulder and said, “I told Molly tonight.”

Jake stopped and turned around. The look on his face
was pure disbelief. “Wow, what did she say?”

My stomach gurgled again, so I said, “I better tell
you about it later. Good night.”

“Night.”

It was a night…a long one. I slept off and on with my
head hanging off the side of the bed. I think the most I slept in a row all
night was about half an hour. Then the wave of nausea would hit me again and
I’d have to roll over and heave nothing but bile and stomach acid into the bucket
once more. Sometime during the night it occurred to me that I had told the one
person whose opinion really mattered to me that I was walking around with a
tumor in my head. Too bad she couldn’t see me now; she’d know what a real prize
I was.

CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN

MOLLY

“I’m so happy you’re going!” Megan’s enthusiasm was
cute, sometimes. We were getting ready to go to Aqua and watch Brock. He was
singing again tonight with his friend’s band and I was really looking forward
to it. It was the first time in four or five days that I felt really good. I
had drunk a lot of water, took my vitamins and wrote down how much I peed. I
had to leave this funky looking little “hat” in the toilet to catch and measure
my urine. I made sure to take it out and clean it each time. I didn’t want to
gross out Megan. I told Megan that Brock knew now, about me being sick. It was
weird, but that made her really happy. I didn’t tell her about him. I didn’t
know if Jake knew and I’m pretty sure that my illness was the only thing she had
ever not told Jake about. I didn’t want to tempt her.

“What are you wearing?” I asked her.

“I got a new dress yesterday,” she said with a guilty
smile. Megan’s dad loves her; he dotes on her as a matter of fact. He had given
her a credit card before she left for college and told her it was for
emergencies. Megan thought having nothing to wear to the club was an emergency.
I found myself wishing that my dad was like Megan’s as I rummaged through my
clothes. That was a joke. I had spent the first ten years of my life wishing
that he just had a name. After that, I accepted that I would probably never
know who he was, and I suspected that my mother didn’t either.

I stood staring at my clothes while I had these
thoughts. I really wanted to look nice tonight.
 
Megan tried to get me to wear a black sundress that I had bought over
the summer and I accused her of wanting me to die from pneumonia. I tried to
wear a black sweater dress and she said it was fine and to call her after the
funeral. We both finally settled on a blue knit blouse that was cut almost to
my waist in back, but not too low in front and a matching skirt. It wasn’t
long, but it wasn’t so short that I had to worry about matching it to the color
of my panties either. When we were both finally ready, I was satisfied. Not
overwhelmed, or wowed, but satisfied. As we walked out to the car I had the
Bruno Mars song Brock had sang to me in the hospital in my head. It gave me
chills to know he thought that I was beautiful. He made me feel beautiful too,
and that was really all that mattered.

We stopped for Jake on the way. Brock had gotten Suzie
out of the shop earlier in the day. He had to be there early to set up but he
said he left our names at the door as his guests, so we didn’t have to wait in
line. The club had become very popular, and Jake told her it had a lot to do
with Brock’s singing and guitar playing. I didn’t doubt it, even if I didn’t
know him, after hearing him sing I would go back.

The club was already packed when we got inside. Brock
saw us as we made our way through the crowd and waved us over towards the
stage. He pointed out two tables that were roped off. “Those are mine and Joe’s,
pick one and have a seat,” he said. He looked so good tonight. He was wearing a
Grateful Dead T-shirt. It was all black except for the eyes on the face in
front. Those were blue, like his. I had to wonder if he had bought the shirt
because he knew it matched his eyes. I knew him now though, and even if he did
know he was pretty, I knew enough about him to know that he hadn’t let it go to
his head.

His dark hair was stylishly mussed and he looked like
he hadn’t shaven today. It gave his face an older, rugged look. It was hot.
Before I went with Molly and Jake to sit at our table I said, “Good luck.” He
winked at me, which really did things to my insides.

“I’m already lucky,” he said, “you showed up.” I
walked over to our table on wobbly legs.

The band he was playing with was really good. They did
a few sets with Brock playing the guitar and Joe’s wife singing, and then she
and Brock did a duet. I tried to look at other things in the club, the people,
the décor, Megan and Jake, but my eyes kept being drawn back up to the stage,
on Brock. I liked the way he took the microphone off the stand when he sang and
pressed his lips down close to it. I began to notice how his voice got deeper
and….yes, sexier when he sang a love song. I even noticed how the veins on his
muscular arms seemed to come alive and dance as he moved around on stage.

Every so often, he would look at me and smile. There
was something so intimate about that to me. It was just a smile, but he and I
both knew that it was just for me, and I had to admit that I was coming around
to the idea of dating him. Maybe it was being freed of my secret, maybe it was
just because he was the hottest guy around, and maybe it was because he proved
over and over what an amazing and kind spirit he had. I’m not sure what
prompted the change, but I knew all of a sudden if he tried to kiss me again, I
was going to let him.

They played about five songs and then Joe said they
were going to take a ten minute break. Brock came straight over to our table,
and I couldn’t help but notice the looks of envy most of the single girls in
the club were throwing my way. He sat down next to me and opened a bottle of
water he had in his hand. He downed more than half of it in one drink and then
he leaned over and whispered in my ear. All he said was, “Have you been
drinking enough water?”

“Yes,” I told him, plenty. I wasn’t lying either. If
drinking water was going to stop me from having to go back to the hospital,
I’ll hook up the garden hose.

“Why aren’t you dancing?” he asked me. “You look too
pretty to just be sitting here.”

I didn’t think about what I was saying, I just said,
“Because the only person I want to dance with is on-stage tonight.” I heard it
come out of my mouth, and I knew it to be the truth, but I was shocked that I’d
actually said it.

He smiled and leaned in close again. He put his lips
near my ear once more and said, “Save one for me when we’re finished up, okay?
The next band playing is pretty good.”

I smiled and told him that I would. He saw Joe headed
back for the stage so he went too. I watched him go, and then I realized that
Megan was giggling. I looked at her and she and Jake looked extremely guilty.

“What?” I said.