Because of You (12 page)

Adam felt as if he'd been pierced by a knife. Jill had been at The Palm. Of all the restaurants in Manhattan, she had to end up at The Palm and see him with Anna Revere. That skeevy bitch had been all over him. Adam didn't have to be a genius to figure out what had gone on in Jill's mind as she watched him and Anna together. What it must have looked like to her.
Jeeze.

Obviously, she ran out of the restaurant thinking that he'd been cheating on her. Of course, she'd think that. Jill had no idea what kind woman Anna was or that she'd been sexually harassing him since she'd become his boss. He had kept all that from her. Now he realized, a bit too late, that he should have confided in her. Looking at the big picture, no wonder she was leaving him. And it was because of his own macho stupidity.

How was he ever going to convince Jill of the truth? She probably had no intention of even listening to him. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. He had no idea how if ever he could fix this. His head began to throb as the cold knot in his stomach twisted tighter.

An awful thought made him feel even sicker. He had indirectly caused Jill’s accident. He may not have been there, but it was his fault just the same. She had to have been upset over his
infidelity
. On a normal night, traveling the roads around their place was difficult. Add inclement weather, and they were damn dangerous.

Adam dropped his face into his hands. He had made a total mess of everything. And Jill’s life hung in the balance because of it.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Adam was miserable. He wanted to put his fist through the waiting room wall. He felt pressurized, ready to explode. And yet, he was powerless, unable to do anything to influence the outcome. He wore his frustration like a shroud. Tears of anger and angst filled his already red-raw eyes. He was the one common denominator, the catalyst that set the entire disaster into motion. If Jill didn't survive, he would never forgive himself. His self-loathing didn’t allow for any slack. He deserved all retribution. This was all on him.

And if Jill survived, he doubted she’d come home to him. He could not blame her, because this self-loathing that he felt was so real he could taste it. He hated to admit it, but Jill's parents had been so right about him. White trash only begets white trash. And that described him perfectly.

The moral compass that guided his parents had not included religion amongst everything else. He could not remember the last time he'd been in any of God's houses. Being a drunkard and a bully, his father had had no time for piety. Had he worshiped a deity, it would have been Darwin, for his father believed only in the survival of the fittest. As for his mother, the only nutriment in her milk was alcohol or cocaine.

Yet here he was, leaning against the back of the chair in front of him, praying with all his heart to a God with whom he had no familiarity, begging Him to save Jill’s life and make her whole again. That's all that mattered now. If he lost her love… he could live with that as his penance. But he couldn’t live if she perished. Nor did he want to. If by some miracle his marriage was saved, he swore he would do things differently. What good was having money and a nice house if all that mattered to him could be taken away in the blink of an eye? Life and love were too precious to squander.

He looked up to see a doctor in bloodstained scrubs approach and got to his feet. His heart lurched.

“Mr. Stone?”

As Adam nodded, fear tightly gripped his vocal cords and though the room was warm and windowless, a cold sweat broke out along his back.

“I'm Dr. Berger. Your wife is one lucky woman. Personally, I'm amazed she survived. The concussion and punctured lung gave us some concern, as well as the internal bleeding, which was caused by damage to the spleen; but we’ve got the bleeding under control. She has several badly bruised ribs, and the punctured lung, collapsed. Her left arm sustained two breaks. Add to that lacerations and general bruising, and you’ve got the entire picture.”

Bile rose in Adam’s throat and he swayed slightly. Dr. Berger steadied him and sat him down.

“Mr. Stone, the prognosis is good. I’m not certain how long she’ll have to remain here, but your wife is going to make a full recovery. She’s in post op and will be taken to the ICU in about twenty minutes. You can see her then.”

As relief washed over Adam, he shook the doctor's hand and thanked him. “You saved my wife’s life. I thank you with all my heart.”

The doctor smiled. “That's what we try to do, Mr. Stone. We put people back together again.”

The tears that had been welling in Adam’s eyes spilled over his cheeks as he watched the doctor walk away. Adam looked up toward the ceiling. “I owe you one.” Wiping his eyes, he thought about his next hurdle—saving his marriage.

***

As Adam walked into the ICU, he heard the humming and beeping of the monitors attached to Jill. He could hardly recognize her. The parts of her face not bandaged were covered in reddish-purple bruises reminding him of grapes. Her head was swathed in bandages and her left arm immobilized in a sling. Though she was covered by a sheet, it looked like her torso had been wrapped in bandages, as well.

It was way too late to call Lynne, so he left a text message on her cell phone telling her that Jill was going to be all right. He reread those precious words before he sent them. They were the most beautiful words he'd ever typed.

Adam wanted to rush over to Jill and plant kisses all over her bruised face. Of course, he feared touching and hurting her, but not as much as he feared her reaction on seeing him. What if she opened her eyes and recoiled at the sight of him? So instead, he pulled the chair over to the side of her bed and watched her sleep. The slow rising and falling of her chest reassured him. Despite what the doctor had said, he feared something would go wrong and he'd lose her, so he laid his head on the bed next to her and listened carefully to the rhythmic hum of the monitor before he fell asleep.

Later, when Adam awoke, he looked at his sleeping wife and fresh tears filled his eyes. You truly never know how much things mean to you until you nearly lose them. There was so much he wanted to tell Jill. So much she needed to know. Things that he should've told her and didn't. And now it might be too late to save their marriage. Adam began to sob uncontrollably.

“A…dam…”

Adam looked up. Jill’s eyes were open.

“Oh, Jill, baby, I’m so sorry,” he said, swiping at his tears. Then his words tumbled out like water rushing through a breached dam. “This is all my fault. I can't blame you if you don't love me anymore, but no matter what you think, I never cheated on you. The woman you saw me with in the restaurant is Anna Revere, my boss. Had I told you about what’s been going on with my job instead of keeping it inside, you’d understand what I’ve been going through at work. Everything went to crap after the company was sold. The new management let many people go—people that had been there for years. You can't imagine how many times I would go to work wondering if that day was my turn to receive a pink slip. Less staff meant more work and later hours. I should've told you. It would have explained all the trips and late nights.”

Adam reached for a tissue to wipe his face. He clasped Jill’s uninjured hand gently.

“I was able to deal with the stress and extended workdays, but then management hired Anna Revere, who made my life a living hell. She came on to me, but I feared that if I took out a sexual harassment charge against her, I would lose my job. I knew we would be able to survive until I got another job, but it was against everything I believed in to be dependent on you.

“I beg you to forgive me…” Adam was now sobbing again and couldn't speak any longer.

Tears flowed down Jill’s face. One eye, being so badly bruised, was half shut. Adam grabbed another tissue and gently dabbed at her tears.

“Thirsty...”

Adam gently spooned some ice chips between her battered lips. Looking directly into Jill’s eyes, he asked, “Can you forgive me for being so damn stupid?”

She replied weakly. “When I saw you with that woman, I thought you were cheating.”

“I love you. I’d never cheat.”

“I ran away. I couldn’t face you.”

He sighed audibly and gently laid his face on the pillow next to hers. “I love you. You’re my entire life. Because of you, I can face each new day. If you don’t want me anymore, I don’t know what I would do. You know that, don’t you?”

“We were both right, as well as wrong. Mistakes were made. I couldn’t make decisions and you made them for me. I grew a backbone and you feared the result.”

“Now what?” Adam asked, though he thought he knew the answer.

“We go forward. I have loved you way too long to try and break the habit now.”

Adam kissed her good hand. His tears filled his eyes again. When he looked up, Jill was crying, as well.

“I called Lynne. She's flying out sometime today.”

The nurse came in to check on Jill. “She’s very lucky,” she said as she began to check Jill's vitals.

“I know, and so am I,” Adam replied and watched the nurse leave.

“I have your laptop if you'd like to write while you’re recovering. It survived the crash.”

Jill tried to laugh, but couldn't. “How will I type?”

“What about dictating to me in a few days when you feel up to it?” Adam suggested.

“You have work.”

“I’m calling in sick and won’t go back until you’re better.”

“Really?”

“Absofunkinlutely,” Adam replied. “I’m staying right here with you.”

“Adam…”

He raised his head and met her gaze. Their eyes locked. He tried to read what hers were saying. “The accident wasn’t your fault. I swerved to avoid a deer.”

“You wouldn’t have been there if I hadn’t kept secrets from you.”

She nodded. “We both did dumb things.”

Adam smiled. “Does that mean you’re not going to kick me out?”

“Nope. I’m a sucker for blond, blue-eyed men. And if that Anna dares to go near you again, I’ll kick her skinny butt to the moon.”

“Good. Because there’s a great deal you and I have to discuss about our future.”

“Such as—”

Lynne came rushing in like a tornado. “You look like crap! How do you feel?”

Adam turned to face his sister-in-law. “You always make such a grand entrance.”

“Yeah, don’t I? As soon as I learned you’d be okay, I decided you both should spend Christmas with us in Arizona.”

“We might be there sooner,” Adam said.

Both women looked at him, a mirror of surprise.

“I may begin work at an agency in Phoenix before then. I’m going out there in a couple days to firm up my contract. I’m so sorry I kept all this from you, Jill.”

“Oh, Adam, I should kick your butt, but I forgive you. I’d love to live in Phoenix.”

“Now you have a reason to get better. Phoenix will be a great place to raise the kids, too,” Adam murmured.

“Whose kids?” Lynne asked.

“Our kids,” Adam replied. “Jill and I have some unfinished business to take care of.”

“I see. Oh, by the way, Sis, while you’re lying around in bed, your book is now number one on several bestseller lists. You’d better get cranking on your next one.”

Read on for a sneak peak at

NEVER IS NOT FOREVER

by
Candy Caine

Now Available

from Arrow Publications

Chapter One

Claudia Brown was horny. The combination of good wine, male pheromones and aftershave—not to mention the fact she couldn’t remember the last time she’d even had sex—was all it took. Okay, Darnell was hot with a decent body that towered well over her 5’11” frame and that was a plus. Personally, she hated talking to the bald spots on little men. And the fact that she didn’t mind looking at his handsome face with those soft molasses-colored eyes of his didn’t hurt, either.

By the time Darnell drove her home, she was primed and ready to jump his bones. Judging by the smoldering kiss he gave her at the apartment door, she could tell he was ripe for conquest and went in for the kill.

“Would you like to come inside, Darnell, for a nightcap?”

His answer was a wide gotcha-grin revealing a set of nearly perfect white teeth making her stop and wonder exactly who the
real
shark was in her little scenario.

“Nice crib,” he said as his gaze traveled around the living room taking in the comfortable chairs and a sofa in soft earth-tones.

Watching him; gauging his reaction, Claudia took off her coat. “Thanks. Make yourself at home.” Figuring some nice mood music would complement things, she went over to the stereo and selected an Alicia Keys CD and popped it in the player. Then she headed toward the kitchen for the bottle of wine she had chilling in the refrigerator.

When she returned holding two glasses, Darnell had taken her up on the suggestion and had removed his sports jacket. She couldn’t help but notice how his shirt hugged his wide, hard chest. They sat facing each other on the sofa sipping their wine. Then Darnell put his glass down on the coffee table and reached for hers, placing it on the table beside his. “Let’s dance, Claudia,” he said, stretching out his hand.

Claudia took his hand. They rose from the sofa together and she melted into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her ass and pushed her bottom firmly into his cock bulge. Her immediate response was to rub herself against him. For her, it was a win-win situation and she definitely enjoyed her half of the results.

As they slow-danced in place to the mellow vocal strains of Alicia, Claudia ran her restless hands up and down his hard, muscled back. His response was to sweep her long black hair to the side enabling him to nuzzle her neck a few moments before seeking out her lips. The man was definitely a good kisser. He outlined her waiting lips with the tip of his tongue before covering her mouth with a heart-stopping kiss that nearly sucked all the breath out of her. When his lips were finished with Claudia’s mouth, it felt on fire and that wasn’t the only place within her heating up.

Claudia repositioned her legs in order to rub her entire pussy on his now straining cock bulge. So she’d be able to feel his hot flesh, she tugged the back of his shirt out from his slacks. Darnell slipped his hands under her sweater seeking out her breasts which were already aching for his touch. He pushed the lacy cups aside and began to caress them. Wanting him to have total access to them, Claudia moved back away and pulled the sweater over her head and unclasped her bra, tossing both items onto the sofa.

Darnell smiled and said, “Beautiful, baby girl,” before he closed his large hand over her left breast and began to suckle at her right one.

Claudia moaned and raked his back with her nails. He was driving her slowly crazy as he first gently lathered her nipple with his tongue before nipping at it. Her juices, which had been simmering within her, were now pooling in her panties and her blood was beginning to boil. She grabbed the zipper on his slacks and slipped it down, freeing his beautiful, hard cock. She covered its head with her hand and stroked it down to his balls and then back up again. Darnell made a growling sound deep in his throat.

His hands were now buried under her skirt, slowly feeling their way up her long, coffee au lait legs, his fingers skimming the bottom of her panties. Claudia made things easier for him by removing her skirt and slipping out of her panties. His eyes were now riveted to her naked body as he opened his slacks and stepped out of them. Then Darnell scooped her up in one fluid motion and carried her into the bedroom where he placed her lightly on top of the bed. She leaned on an elbow and watched as he removed the rest of his clothes.

He had a beautiful body. It wasn’t overly muscled, but hard and lean in all the right places. Claudia hated muscle-bound men who looked more like the Michelin Man caricature than human. Darnell’s working as a weight trainer in a gym certainly had its compensations. The only thing her brain registered as she fixated on his gorgeous body was how good that beautiful big cock of his was going to feel deep inside of her. She never kidded herself. Big cocks were always better. In fact, the bigger the better was her motto. She preferred having trouble getting all of it into her snatch than wishing she could feel the damn thing. From what she could see, this guy was going to be just perfect.

Darnell didn’t need a roadmap to find his way around her body. He knew exactly where he was heading. Standing at the foot of her bed he rolled her over onto her belly. Then he pulled her closer to the edge of the bed where he stood. She lifted up her rump, resting on her hands and knees, offering herself to him. He pushed his right thumb into her ass before he thrust most of his big, beautiful cock into her pussy. With the thumb and forefinger of his other hand, he kneaded Claudia’s left nipple and began to rock her world.

As he pumped into her, Claudia rubbed and stroked her clit ratcheting up the tension. Darnell moved slowly at first, but it wasn’t long before he was going as fast as he could, their bodies slapping together. She kept up with him, enjoying the ride. However, it wasn’t long before she could feel the beginnings of an orgasm. Not wanting to surrender to it until the last moment, she allowed the tension to build like the torque on an engine. However, the way that boy was doing her, the first wave of spasms grabbed her, making her a very vocal goner.

“That’s it baby girl. Let it all out,” he said, just as he let himself go.

They cuddled together while their vitals slowed back down to normal. Darnell was a nice guy and she liked him. They’d met at the University of Pennsylvania last week. He had registered for a course in CPR and couldn’t find the building where it was being held. Lost, he somehow ended up in the building where Claudia taught. Her class had ended and Darnell caught her heading to the cafeteria for some lunch. She found herself very attracted to him. They started talking and one thing eventually led to another.

She didn’t see him as a potential relationship. That was the last thing Claudia desired.

She wasn’t going to put herself in harm’s way and let another man hurt her. The very fact that she had been able to allow men back into her life to fill her basic sexual needs had been a giant step. However, she had no intention of jeopardizing her progress by going out with a man more than once. Claudia was the original
no strings
—
no attachment
girl.

“How’s about an
erotic
shower?” Darnell suggested.

“All right.” Sex was a messy thing with all those drippy bodily fluids, so Claudia was all for that. It was the golden shower that she tended to avoid.

She led the way into her bathroom which, thank goodness, was large enough to be occupied by more than one person. Grabbing two fresh bath towels from her linen cabinet, Claudia slid open the glass doors and turned the water spigot on. Another thing which she was most thankful for was plentiful hot water. As she was adjusting the temperature, he ran his hands down over her body keeping her internal engine purring. When the water felt right, she stepped inside and Darnell followed, sliding the door closed behind them.

Once inside, he soaped up his hands and began to wash her breasts. The feeling of his hands on her skin began to excite her, pushing the needle on her passion barometer up. Claudia wanted to return the favor and turned around to soap Darnell’s body, as well. Starting with his wide chest, she kneaded his man-buds with her soapy fingertips. They turned out to be sensitive and Darnell groaned. Emboldened by his reaction, she worked her way down to his cock which was now hard. She applied soap to his balls and adorable butt before she paid homage to his beautiful instrument of pleasure.

Even while Claudia lathered Darnell’s gorgeous body, he continued to wash hers, as well. He was erotically soaping every conceivable—and inconceivable—spot on the front of her body driving her wild. However, when he went down on his knees and opened the folds of her sex, tonguing her from one end of her pussy to the other before latching his lips onto her clitoris, she wanted him so badly, she thought she’d die. She was literally about to beg him to thrust that beautiful cock into her pussy when he turned her around to face the tiles. He slipped two of his fingers inside her dripping pussy. Instinctively, she roughly rubbed herself against his fingers. That’s when Darnell spread her ass-cheeks and began to lick her a-hole. No one had ever done this to her before. Between that and the fact his fingers felt like a cock, she was able to reach another earth-shattering climax.

When she was finished with her last spasm, he lifted her up slightly against the tiles and entered her pussy. It felt absolutely wonderful. Holding her against the wall of the shower, he pumped into her until she felt him stiffen and then come. He let her down and the water cascaded down over them both, washing them clean.

About this time they both began to resemble a pair of dried prunes, so it was time to get out of the shower. They toweled dry and headed towards the bed. Originally, she hadn’t planned on him staying the night. However, he worked so hard, she didn’t have the heart to throw him out. Claudia was exhausted herself and within minutes of placing her head down on the pillow, she was out for the count.

When she opened her eyes the next morning, which was Sunday, he was gone. He’d left a note explaining that he had several appointments at the gym and would call during the week. Claudia dreaded that phone call. She didn’t want to have to tell him that, though he’d been a wonderful lay, she didn’t want to see him again. That part was always the stickiest and was never easy. Men didn’t take rejection well. However, women took longer to recover from rejection. She’d been a prime example. And the man who had rejected her was a jerk named Jerome.

She’d been seeing Jerome for more than two years. He’d spent a lot of time dogging her for some kind of commitment. Just as she was about to tell him yes to their moving in together, the unthinkable happened. Claudia had spent the night at his place but left early the next day to pick up some papers from her office.. Half-way to work, she’d realized she’d left her cell phone on the nightstand in the bedroom. When she returned to the apartment, she let herself in with the key Jerome had given her. She found his buxom next-door neighbor riding him as if he were a prize stallion.

So much for commitment.

The shock was overwhelming, since she had thought he was happy with the relationship. She certainly had been. What upset her the most was the fact she never saw this coming. She was now more vigilant and wiser, and she vowed never to allow something like that ever happen to her again. Claudia made up her mind then to go back to school, get a degree and become independent. She would never again rely on anyone but herself.

Because most people tended to look at her self-preservation program as a way of running away from reality, or worse, just a form of eccentricity, Claudia kept her personal and professional lives separate. She never dated anyone from the teaching staff or administration at the university. This in itself earned her the nicknames,
The Iron Maiden
or
The
Frost Queen
. If that was the price she’d have to pay in order to keep her heart safe, so be it. It was her life and she could do whatever she damned well please with it, anyway. They didn’t know her or why she chose to travel down this path. And she intended to keep it that way.

Things ended up working out just fine for her. She applied to the University of Pennsylvania right after she discovered Jerome’s infidelity and put herself through school. Deciding on becoming an English professor, she continued on to grad school while she worked as a teaching assistant. Claudia landed a job as an assistant professor and finally a professor. Now at the age of thirty-five, she was in line to become the next head of the English department. Claudia had no husband or family to vie for her time, so she was able to put most of her energy into teaching. When she felt the urge for sex, she merely went out on a date. An attractive woman with a lithe body and exotic, high cheek bones, she was never at a loss for dates. Her lifestyle may not work for everyone; however, it worked for her. That’s why she braced herself for the awful conversation that would eventually come when Darnell called her back to make another date.