becoming us (17 page)

He’d never imagined himself with a boyfriend, or even a regular male lover. Bryce had changed all that, like Zac knew he’d changed everything for Bryce. It was pretty cool -- special, even --

getting to do all this together, finding out what it was like to be a couple and learning each other all over again at the same time.

Bryce let go of Zac’s hand at the last minute, and they slipped into the house together. Kaede was on the couch watching wrestling and someone was rattling around in the kitchen, probably Shelly or Steve. Bryce gave Zac a little smile as he kicked off his shoes. “Yo, dudes,” he shouted. “You missed a great movie.”

Becoming Us - 85

“There were spaceships!” Zac shoved his jacket into the hall closet, along with his shoes. “
And
dragons! And teleporting. It was
so cool
.”

“You guys are, like, eight.” It was Shelly in the kitchen, probably making Kaede a snack. They often stopped off to eat Kaede’s food before going to her place. “I thought that movie was supposed to be for little kids.”

“So?” Bryce made a face at Zac worthy of an eight-year-old.
Neener
.

“Fuck you,” Zac said, laughing. He didn’t care who the target audience was supposed to be. “It was fun. C’mon, Bryce. I can tell when our taste isn’t appreciated. Let’s get some popcorn and get out of here. I bet I can beat you on the new Mario game.”

“You wish. Go get your tissues ready, loser.” Bryce forged into the kitchen to get them a snack, leaving Zac to head upstairs on his own, with Kaede glaring after him.

Zac laughed and waved goodnight to Kaede, thumping up the stairs to his room. He got the tiny television set up with his game system and dumped a pile of pillows on the floor for them to sit on.

Bryce came up a few minutes later with a big bowl of popcorn and a carton of chocolate milk to share between them. “God, why don’t they just get married or something already?” he grumbled and kicked the door shut behind him. Handing the popcorn to Zac, he plunked into the pillows and opened the chocolate milk.

Zac shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth. When he was finished chewing, he said, “I’m kinda surprised he’s living here, really, instead of with her. I asked, but he didn’t really answer.

Maybe parents or something.”

Bryce took a drink from the carton and offered it to Zac, sitting back and sliding his arm around Zac.

Oh.
That was nice. They hadn’t really gotten to do that at the movie. Zac snuggled in next to him and took a sip from the milk carton. “You ready to get your ass kicked?” He was kind of enjoying the cuddling, but it felt like he should at least offer up the game as an option.

“Soon.” Bryce kissed Zac’s head. “I’m snuggling my boyfriend right now,” he murmured in Zac’s ear. “Way better than video games. I’ll make you cry in a minute.” Zac laughed and snuggled in closer. “You wish.” Snuggling his boyfriend. Yeah, Zac liked that a lot.

“I like this,” Bryce said. He was open with Zac, so much; it seemed to keep him stable, to get reassurance from Zac that how he was feeling was okay. “It’s... relaxed.” He put his cheek against Zac’s head and sighed. There wasn’t much tension in him at all. Zac was really happy about that.

Becoming Us - 86

“Me, too.” Zac put the chocolate milk aside and then plucked a piece of popcorn from the bowl and offered it up to Bryce. “It’s good, being with you.” Bryce took the popcorn and ate it. “Same as before. Just better.” He nuzzled Zac’s ear. “I mean, I still like...” He stopped. “Does it bug you to talk about stuff?”

“I...” Zac stopped and tilted his head so he could see Bryce’s face.
Talk about stuff?
“Stuff?”

“Just. Stuff. I mean us. Me. Any of it.” Bryce looked sheepish. “We were just having a nice time and I started running my mouth and...”

“And I didn’t, like, tell you to shut up or anything,” Zac pointed out. Neither of them could talk about this stuff with anyone else. More than that, Zac wanted to know the good stuff as well as the bad, so he didn’t have to guess how Bryce felt. “Nah, man, I don’t mind. It’s good.”

“Okay.” Bryce kissed Zac lightly. “I just.” He pulled his knees up and wrapped his other arm around them. “I’m happy with you. More than with other people. Girls. I just don’t know what it means.”

Zac didn’t know either. “We’ve been friends for, like, three years now, Bryce. I probably know you a hell of a lot better than most of the girls you’ve been with.” That was Zac’s theory for why he was so comfortable and happy with Bryce, anyway.

“Yeah, I keep thinking that.” Bryce kissed Zac’s cheek and nuzzled against it. “I guess I already fucked up around you so much, I’m not always worried I’m gonna do it now.”

“You’re gonna have an ulcer by thirty if you keep worrying about fucking up so much.” Zac turned his head to steal a quick kiss. “You’re not gonna fuck up with me. We’re fine.”

“Yeah, we are. It’s good.” Bryce leaned in and kissed Zac thoroughly. “Better than good,” he added, murmuring it against Zac’s lips. “Thanks, Zac.”

Zac petted Bryce’s thigh with the hand that wasn’t holding the popcorn bowl. They were better than good. They were great. He wasn’t going to stop and dissect it, or whatever, to try and figure out why. He just accepted it and appreciated it. He was dating a guy, dating his best friend, and it was really good.

Bryce kissed him a little longer. “Ready for me to kick your ass now?” he teased, pulling away.

His expression was soft, though.

“Ready for you to
try
,” Zac countered.

If Zac didn’t distract him, Bryce probably would kick his ass. For all that Zac was the one with video games littering his bedroom floor, Bryce was the one who was actually good at them. Like Zac wasn’t going to distract him, though.

Becoming Us - 87

There was a lot of laughing and elbowing, and it was a good thing they went through the chocolate milk fast because the carton got knocked over, then the nearly empty popcorn bowl. A sharp knock on the door gave them pause, and then Kaede peeked in. Popcorn and pillows were everywhere, and the video game was still going.

“You playing a game or wrestling?” Kaede rolled his eyes at the sight of them. “Right.
Both
.

Why didn’t I know?” He retreated before either of them could throw popcorn at him. Midnight slid by and found them slouched on each other, still plinking along in the game.

Eventually, Zac leaned over and butted his head against Bryce’s shoulder. “I’m gonna go check around, see if Kaede and Shelly are still here.” He wasn’t really in a hurry, except that... yeah, he really kind of was. It was fun, playing video games with Bryce, but he wanted time for them to kiss and touch, too.

“I’ll clean up the mess.” Bryce tossed the carton in the bowl and disentangled himself. “Then I guess I’ll get ready for bed.” He brushed a kiss over Zac’s lips before pulling away.

“See you later.” Zac tossed the game controllers up toward his TV, then got to his feet. He stretched, groaning as his muscles adjusted to standing again. “I’ll take the stuff back downstairs.

Just, you know, turn off the game and stuff. You don’t have to clean up.” He took the bowl from Bryce and then padded out of the bedroom. The hallway was dark, but that wasn’t unusual.

Downstairs, the television was off and the house was quiet. Zac dumped the bowl out into the garbage, checked to make sure the dishwasher wasn’t full of clean dishes, and then stuck the bowl in. He headed back upstairs and listened at Kaede’s door to see if Kaede and Shelly were in there. No noise. Steve was snoring away at the end of the hall on that side, though. No one could hear anything over that kind of racket. Zac went back to his room to get ready for bed. To get ready to go to Bryce’s room.

Bryce had tidied up the room a little, and he was gone. By the time Zac headed to brush his teeth, Bryce’s door was closed and his light was off, but he knew Bryce was awake in there. Waiting for him.

Zac waited a little while longer, tossing a change of clothes and a few other things into a bag to take down to Bryce’s room with him, just in case he needed to get dressed in the morning to make it look like he’d just dropped by before practice. When he was done, he padded down the hall to Bryce’s room and slipped inside, closing and locking the door behind himself.

Leaving the bag at the foot of the bed, Zac stripped off his T-shirt and crawled into bed beside Bryce. The boxers could come off later. Bryce turned toward him, pulling Zac into his arms. He was naked, half-hard, and deliciously warm from being under the covers. He didn’t say a thing, just moved to kiss Zac on the mouth.

Zac kissed him back, trying to be just as quiet as Bryce was being. There was a whole empty room between them and anyone else in the house, but he was feeling a little skittish now that
Becoming Us - 88

he’d started thinking about getting caught. Damn it. Bryce reached up and hit the button on his clock and soft electronica filled the room. Not loud enough to wake anyone at all, but loud enough that any low noises from their sex wouldn’t stand out against the silence. Genius.

Bryce slung a leg over Zac’s hips, pulling Zac close, and ducked his head to kiss under Zac’s ear.

Zac was doubly glad for the music now, because Bryce’s mouth on his neck drew soft moans out of him. He shivered and tilted his head, baring his neck to Bryce, and then wrapped one arm around Bryce to feel the way the muscles bunched and shifted under Bryce’s skin.

Bryce was utterly focused on Zac, like he was pouring out all the tension that had built up over the week. He rolled up over Zac a little, his hard dick pushing against Zac’s hip. Hitting fabric made him grumble and he reached between them to tug at Zac’s boxers. “Wanna feel you,” he complained.

“Yeah.” Zac couldn’t remember why he’d thought leaving the boxers on was a good idea. He arched up under Bryce and wriggled out of them, dropping them on the floor. “Better?”

“Better.” Bryce petted Zac’s thighs and up to brush over his balls and dick. “Lots.” He curled his hand around Zac’s dick. “Zac, I wanna...” His words trailed off as he stroked Zac slowly.

Zac arched up into the touches. “Whatever you want, Bryce.” He couldn’t imagine Bryce wanting anything he’d say no to. “Just tell me. Or show me. Or whatever.” He could always stop Bryce -- gently -- if he didn’t like it.

“I don’t know,” Bryce whispered. “I just... I want you so much, Zac. I just wanna be close to you, touch you. Last time... God. Zac. I wanted to be in you so bad.” His voice was low and ragged. “You kept saying... it was making me crazy.”

He’d kept begging Bryce to fuck him, Zac remembered. With Bryce’s fingers deep inside him, it hadn’t felt like a risk to say that. “It felt so good,” Zac whispered. “The way you touched me.

You can, you know. If you want to. But, Bryce...” Zac stroked Bryce’s hair back from his face.

“Only if you want to.” The idea of Bryce fucking him was enough to make Zac get hard, but he was nervous, too. What if Bryce didn’t like it, or what if he did like it, and got scared?

“I want to. I... I just want to make you feel good so much. I think about it. Being inside you, seeing your face, kissing you, feeling you come.” There was a little glow from various pieces of electronics in the room, barely enough to see each other by, but Zac could feel the heat in Bryce’s cheek when Bryce nuzzled his hand. Bryce’s hand kept moving over Zac’s dick, gently and firmly, making it so hard to think. “I don’t want to screw up. But I... I just want to feel like we’re really
us
, too. Together.”

“We don’t have to fuck to be together,” Zac pointed out, but he wanted it. He wanted Bryce to fuck him, wanted to feel Bryce inside him. “That’s not... not everybody does, Bryce. Some guys never do. But... Yeah. I like it. If you want it...”

Becoming Us - 89

“I know we don’t.” Bryce rubbed Zac’s chest with his free hand. “But it matters to me. I know it doesn’t seem like it from outside, but it’s a big deal to me, with anyone. Special. Even more special with you.” He leaned over and kissed Zac on the mouth, just a brush of his lips. “I want to do that with you. Make you feel good.”

Zac wasn’t like that, didn’t really look at fucking as any different from other kinds of sex except that it was harder to find someone who knew how to do it right. There was something nice about it being a big deal to Bryce, though, that Bryce wanted something special with him. It made Zac warm and fuzzy, on top of being turned on as fuck. “Okay.” Zac kissed Bryce back, and then again. “I want that, too.”

“Oh.” Bryce’s little exhalation sounded relieved. He kissed Zac with a moan. “Tell me... tell me how you like it,” he whispered between hungry kisses.

“Use your fingers first.” Zac kissed Bryce again, hot and slow. “You want me to turn over? It’ll make it easier.” And then maybe he could muffle himself on the pillows, if he had to.

“Any way you want.” Bryce kissed him as he reached into the drawer to get out lube, and then there was the crinkle of a condom wrapper. “Just tell me. I wanna give you what you want.” Zac liked being able to kiss, but maybe they could do that next time. It would be easier on his knees, at least the first time. “Let me,” he said, reaching out to snag the condom from Bryce’s fingers. “And then I’ll turn over.”

“Okay.” Bryce sat back on his heels obediently. The covers sliding off let Zac get a good look at Bryce’s body outlined in the faint ambient light, at Bryce’s dick hard and ready for him.

“God, you are really fucking...” Zac swallowed hard and sat up, skimming his hand down Bryce’s chest to his belly and his gorgeous cock. “You look really good, Bryce.” He stroked Bryce’s cock.

“Oh.” Bryce leaned in to kiss him. “It’s good you like how I look,” he said, sounding shy. He watched Zac roll the condom on, eyes wide. “Feels nice when you do it,” he murmured.

Zac tilted his head to kiss Bryce again. They wouldn’t be able to kiss once he turned over, and he really liked how Bryce kissed him. He whispered, “I like touching you. A lot. And I really like how you look.” He left his fingers slide down to tease at Bryce’s balls, getting in all the touches he could.