Behind the Facade (21 page)

Michael's face hardened at her words and she sensed
all his muscles coiling, like an animal preparing to attack. Before he could
speak or move, she gripped his arms tightly. “Michael!” she pleaded. “Don't!”

“Don't what?” he replied, shrugging angrily out of
her grasp and standing up. “Don't kill the bastard? I knew he was an arsehole
the minute I met him. I'll tear his balls off and stuff them down his ugly,
maggot-ridden throat!”

Kate stood now, her own anguish forgotten in her
desire to placate him. “And what will that achieve? He will just deny
everything! He'll say I'm confused and that I'm mixing him up with my
kidnapper.”

Michael just glared at her, his eyes blazing and
sulphurous like those of a predator hungry for blood. “You expect me to just
stand by and let this go? Don't you think he should be punished? You could have
died, for God's sake!”

Kate just slid back down on to the couch, shaking
her head. “Don't you think I've had enough heartache over it all? And
besides...I think Sebastian must have regretted his actions. He claims that he
saved me after the accident. I don't remember the crash or anything after it,
but witnesses confirm that a man gave me CPR at the scene. Don't you see? He
was trying to make up for what he'd done.”

Michael stared at her, his gaze incredulous. “I
don't believe it,” he said, his voice low and fervent. “And you're a fool if
you believe it. That man is so self-
absorbed,
he would
consider it a complete waste of energy to help another human being. I bet he
doesn’t even know how to perform CPR.”

Kate sighed wearily. “He made a mistake.
If you want to hate anyone, save your hatred for the man that put
me in that situation in the first place.
The man that
abused his girlfriend and then murdered her to keep her quiet.”
Her eyes
became unfocused for a minute as her thoughts again turned inward. A frown
marred her forehead. “It’s odd,” she murmured. “I can understand him feeling he
had to kill her but why did he have to rape her? From what I remember now, that
woman would have given herself to him freely.”

She came out of her reverie and focused again on Michael,
her gaze ice-cold. “Who knows what motivates such a man? That man persecuted
and terrorised me. He is the one that should be punished.” She thought she was
all cried out but two tears still managed to creep into her eyes and trickle
down her cheeks.

A strange, wretched expression flitted over
Michael's face. He recovered himself and sat back down next to her, tentatively
placing a hand on her shoulder. “Your kidnapper didn't die in the crash, did
he?” he asked.

“No,” Kate murmured. “He somehow managed to escape.
His DNA and fingerprints were recovered from his girlfriend’s house but they’ve
never been able to match them to anyone, because he’s never been caught. He
wasn’t on any criminal database.”

Indignation returned to Michael's face and voice. “Well
don't you see?” he cried. “If it wasn't for Sebastian's inability to control
his baser instincts your kidnapper would have been brought to justice! Now you
are left living your life looking over your shoulder, wondering if he's still
out there and whether you might still be in danger.”

He wished he could take back these words once he'd
uttered them when he saw the bleak look on Kate's face. He sat back down next
to her and gently coaxed her into his arms. “I'm sorry,” he said. “I’m a stupid
ass to have said that. You don't need reminding of it...you must live with that
knowledge every day. Just know that I am here now.
And I won’t let anything happen to you.”

He pulled her closer to him and she was again
overwhelmed by the strength and the comfort she derived from his embrace.

She laid her head on his shoulder and gazed at the
neatly delineated contours of his bearded face. She moved slightly and lightly
kissed his rough cheek, smiling at the bristly texture against her lips. She
leaned back to look at him. “Have you ever considered coming out from behind
that hairy mask?” she asked, intending to lighten the mood.

However, his reaction was to flinch a little and she
caught something unnameable flash briefly in his eyes.
Fear?
Dismay?
He then recovered himself and smiled. “I've
had it so long, I'd feel naked without it,” he said, shrugging
self-deprecatingly.

She put her hand up to his face and made him look at
her. “You can't hide forever,” she said. “Don't you think I've learned that?
Like you said, I was living in fear every day, living a poor, frightened, sham
of a life. I never thought I'd be able to trust anyone ever again.” She paused
and looked up earnestly into his eyes. “I never thought I'd love anyone ever
again,” she whispered, tracing her finger down the exposed part of his face to
his lips.

He caught her hand in his and she could feel him
shaking infinitesimally. “Don't,” he begged, emotion
harshening
his voice.

“Don't what?” Kate asked, consciously mocking his
previous response.  “
Don't have
feelings for you?
I knew there was something about you the
moment I met you.”

“Yes, I bet no-one has ever ignored you quite so
blatantly before!” he said, his face twisting into what looked like a grin, but
may have been a grimace.

“Don't you see? That's exactly it. You ignited
something in me...even if it was indignation to begin with!” she laughed and
then sobered. “You brought me back to life,” she avowed.

“There's no future with me,” he warned her in a low,
strangled voice, “I won't make promises I can't keep Katie.”

She trembled but didn't move away from him. “There's
always a future in opening your heart and mind to your feelings.
In sharing love freely and honestly with another person.”

“You’re r
ight.
There’s a future in it,” he affirmed.
“A future of pain.”
He stared at her, intending to move away but his hand moved to her shoulder of
its own volition, his heart whispering that this would be his last chance to
touch her. “You've suffered enough, Katie. I'm not going to be responsible for
adding to that.”

Her heart swelled in response to
his touch. She closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to ambush her
again. “It's no good,” she said. “I think I’m in love with you, Michael,” she
whispered with quiet fervency.

He recoiled violently. “Love me?
You don't even know me! We’ve been apart for weeks, Kate.”

“I know, she conceded, “and all
that time all I’ve done is
think
about you, what
you’re doing, where you are.” Michael looked uncomfortable but she continued,
closing the gap between them and smoothing with her finger the frown that had
creased his brow. “I’m in love with you and I want to know everything about
you, no matter how ugly it may be.”

“No,” he countered vehemently. “You
don’t want to know me. I’m not the man you think I am, Kate. You’re in love
with an illusion.” He rose to his feet. “I made a mistake,” he declared. “I
shouldn’t have come.”

She grabbed his arm to counteract
his obvious resolve to leave. “I know enough. Everything you say and do reveals
a little of who you are. I’ve spent time with you. You’re a kind, considerate
man. You made an effort to make our first date special and exciting. You care
that I’ve been hurt and even want to protect me. You’re intelligent and
ambitious - look at the business you’ve built! You’ve even won my father over.
I know my father and that must have taken something extraordinary. You say I
don’t know you, but I do.”

“If you really knew me, you
wouldn’t love me Katie. You can bet on it.”

She sighed. She was baffled by his
cryptic comments but simply put it down to his
  fear
of being hurt. “Why are you so determined to drive me away?” she asked.
“I understand you may have done things you regret.
Even
criminal things.
  Tell me, please, what is it in your past that
troubles you?”

He grimaced and she was shocked by
the pain in his face.

“It doesn’t matter,” she quickly
acceded. “You don’t have to tell me. Just believe me when I say whoever you
have been, whatever you have done before, none of it matters, Michael.”

 “It does matter, Kate. It
will matter. It matters to me and it will matter to you. I wasn’t being honest
when I said I could look out for you. How can I protect you when I can’t even
protect you from myself?” He turned away from her but she walked in front of
him and forced him to look at her.

“Is there someone else?” she
offered tentatively, because of the torture it caused her, even to voice the
possibility.
“Someone in America?”

“God, no!
No. It’s nothing like that.”

She gazed at him then with such loving
concern that he clenched his hands and sighed in frustration. “Trust
me,
trust what I’m telling you…I’m wrong for you. I’m
dangerous and you are putting yourself in danger right now!”

 She smiled then and put her hands
on either side of his face, leaning up to kiss him, “I sure hope so….” she
murmured.

He grabbed her wrists. “Stop it!
Please!”

She stared up at him. “I'm getting
such conflicting messages from you Michael. You tell me you don't want me but
everything else you do, the way you react to me, the way you touch me...it says
something completely different.”

She moved in towards him, desperate to allay the
anguish in his eyes. She softly kissed his face, venturing down to his mouth
and beginning to tease his lips with her tongue.

He had hardened himself to women, to any real
feelings for such a long time. But Kate had a terrifying effect on him; it was
like all the defences he’d built were just made of sand and she was the freak
rain-shower that just washed it all away. He couldn’t help himself. He groaned,
releasing her wrists and opening his mouth, his body responding to her
immediately and instinctively.

 She kissed him hungrily, taking his tongue
deeply into her mouth, wanting to seduce him but also wanting to heal him with
the fervency of her love for him. She felt him shudder and she gloried in the
effect she had on him. 

He broke off the kiss, breathing heavily. “Katie...
look
. We can’t do this again. I couldn’t live with myself if
I took advantage of you when you’re so vulnerable.”

“But I want you to take advantage of me.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I'm
not asking for
promises,” she said, stubborn passion and determination in her eyes. “I can’t
stop these feelings I have for you. I can’t stop wanting you. I’ve missed you
so much” Her voice broke. “Please let me show you. Let me show you how much
I’ve missed you, Michael.”

He sat there tensely, caught between burgeoning
desire and vexation. She knew so little about him and yet she wanted him, wanted
him with a blind trust that confounded him. He knew it wasn't fair to let her
continue, not when he couldn't offer her the same openness and sincerity. But
the voice of his conscience just faded into a smothered whimper as her mouth
moved to his neck. He grabbed her shoulders, as though to push her away, but
his hands began to knead her skin as her tongue flicked against his ear.

“You're killing me,” he whispered, heat igniting in
his veins, turning his blood to fiery currents that threatened to incinerate
him.

“I intend to kill you,” she whispered back. “Kill
you slowly, till you're writhing in agony.”

He laughed helplessly but it descended into a
guttural groan of defeat as she undid the buttons of his shirt and left a trail
of burning kisses down his chest. He moaned desperately when she reached his
navel and trailed a careless hand over his tumescent manhood.

 “Deny it,” she challenged now. “Deny that you
still want me, as much as I want you.”

“I want you,” he muttered, his face taut and
terrible looking, his amber eyes dark and intense. She smiled up at him, her
expression both tender and imperious. She sensed that he still doubted the
wisdom of what they were about to do, but she refused to turn back now. She
would prove to him how much they needed each other. She would inveigle her way
into his hardened heart. She would become an inseparable part of him, as
necessary to him as life itself.

She stood up and pulled her blouse over her head.
She undid her trousers and let them drop to the floor. She watched him, as she
did this. His eyes never left her and she heard him suck in a harsh breath as
her clothes fell around her. Standing in just her underwear she said, “I'm
yours, Michael. No promises
. No regrets.
Just
here and now, be mine.”

His gaze swept over her body with such undisguised
hunger that it felt like a wind of flame rushing over her skin. Her courage
momentarily failed her. She felt like someone must feel if they prod at a
sleeping wild animal and it unexpectedly wakes up.

She blushed and crossed her arms, gazing at him
beseechingly with childlike eyes, full of utter love and trust. This was his
final undoing. He made a noise deep in his throat and swept her into his arms.