Behind the Stars (23 page)

“Yes! And I gave her all of mine last night when you were gone,” Yolanda added.

“You did
WHAT!?
” Shubuta’s eyes flew wide, and her face contorted in a way that frightened me. I stepped back into Gallatin’s chest, my knees shaking in my pants.

“I—”

“It’s an overdose! Quick! Gallatin, get her to the kitchen! I’ve got to pump her stomach. We may still have time.”

In a flash he swept her out of the bed and ran after Shubuta, who was already across the lawn and pushing through the screen doors of the dining hall. Yolanda and I ran after them, but the entire world was swimming before my eyes.

Gallatin had said the drugs weren’t dangerous, only a mild sedative... This couldn’t be happening! I watched in shock as he lay my best friend on the metal counter separating the kitchen from the hall. Shubuta pulled a long rubber hose from under one of the sinks and flexed it back and forth in her hands. She pulled Flora into a sitting position, and Gallatin held her mouth open as the alien doctor fed the tube down my comatose friend’s throat.

Tears flooded my eyes, and I staggered back as she began to squeeze the hot water bottle at the other end of the tube. Yolanda was with me, and we clutched each others arms as we watched the nightmare. Tears streamed down her dark cheeks as well.

“It all makes sense now.” A tremor moved through Yolanda’s body as she spoke. “What’s wrong with D’Lo, Braxton. Why we’re so tired all the time. They’ve been drugging the meat.”

All at once, I felt it coming. I pushed away and ran to the sink, gripping the cold metal sides as my body heaved. Nothing came up. I hadn’t eaten in almost twenty-four hours. A hand touched my back, and I saw Yolanda’s legs. She held my hair away from my face, but all I could do now was clutch the side of the sink, sobbing and dry heaving.

Eventually my body stopped, but my chest was hollow, my eyes and throat hurt.

“It’s not working.” A female voice behind me murmured. “We’re too late.”

I looked up to see Shubuta slowly easing the tube out of Flora’s mouth and Gallatin gently lowering her shoulders to the metal table. He leaned over her again and then squeezed his eyes shut. I collapsed to the floor, tears blurring my vision.

In that moment it all came crashing down. Our fantasy that somehow we were insulated from the things happening here was all over. Everything was spoiled—the good will, the hope for a future. It was all ruined.

Strong hands tried to lift me, but I pushed away from them. Flora counted on me. I’d told her I’d get her out of here, back to her mom, and I failed. Pushing against the floor, I stumbled to her lifeless body on the table and hugged her to me.

My voice cracked with my whimpers. “I’m so sorry, Flora.” Shudders of guilt and grief shook my body. “I’m so, so sorry.”

This time when the hands came, I allowed them to pull me away. Shubuta took a thick white tablecloth, and with a grim look, she began wrapping it around Flora’s skinny legs.

“No!” I cried, but the hands were stronger and continued leading me away.

I closed my eyes and all I could see were the cinnamon freckles across her pale nose. Her weak smile, her hopes for getting back home. All of it was lost. All of it was gone, and all of it was my fault.

* * *

W
hen I opened my eyes again, I was in the bed in the small cabin below the barn, but this time I was alone. I rolled onto my back and looked around Gallatin’s space. It all seemed so normal. A desk was in the corner, clothes lay unfolded on the back of a chair. A stack of books sat on the floor, some of which were dog-eared from being well-read.

Nothing hinted at the plotting and planning, the mind-control and manipulation. Again tears filled my eyes, and I rolled onto my side facing the wall again. My heart hurt so badly for so many things. My mind had been reeling for so long, I’d almost forgotten what it was like to think normally.

My only worries used to be what Dr. Green might ask me to do that day after school or convincing Jackson to take me to the movies. Now there were aliens and drugs and death. A soft creak made me tense, and I turned my head to see Gallatin stepping through the door carrying a pail, a worried look on his face.

“I brought you something to eat,” he said.

“You’re joking, right?” I almost didn’t recognize my own voice, it was so hard and bitter.

“It’s not from the general supply. It’s from my own rations.”

“Then eat it yourself.”

Gallatin’s shoulders fell and he dropped into the chair. It was the same chair he’d sat in the day Bully was born. The day he’d saved my life.

“Prentiss, please. You haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

“You honestly think I could eat anything you gave me?”

“I want you to know, this was never supposed to happen.”

“It never would’ve happened if you’d never come here.” At that I began to cry.

He put his head in his hands, and I turned my face toward the wall. For a while it was silent. Then a cicada began to screech outside the window.

“I changed Yolanda’s memory,” he said softly. “I wanted to tell you myself. I’m sorry.”

“It never stops, does it?”

“I hate this so much.” His voice was a growl as he stood and walked to the other side of the room. “Everything’s falling apart, and I can’t fix it. Now I’m supposed to focus on being a Guard, forget what’s happened, forget about you and me. Us. As if I can do that.”

His back was to me as he spoke, anger radiating in his words. “I’m sick of hiding. I’m sick of people being hurt and dying. I want to stop running. I don’t care about reclaiming Gliese. I want a home. I want peace.”

I lay in his small bed a few moments longer before I slowly pushed the sheet back. My coveralls were on the floor by the window, and I picked them up and stepped into them. As I pulled the zipper up, my fingers grazed the pendant still hanging around my neck. The pendant of a warrior.

His back was to me, his elbows were on top of the dresser, hands in his hair. I placed the thin copper disc on its leather cord beside his scarred arm, and for a moment, all the good feelings I’d had for him rushed to the surface. They were ferocious and insistent. My arms wanted to circle his waist and comfort him, allow him to comfort me, but like he said. I was strong. 

Instead, I turned and went to the door. “I need to see my brother now.”

And with that, I left him alone.

––––––––

T
he sky was grey and light rain was falling as I walked across the yard to the dining hall. It was the first time it had rained since we’d been here, and from the looks of the clouds, it wasn’t stopping any time soon.

Breakfast was over and everyone was inside the dormitory lying in their beds, mourning Flora. I went to Braxton’s bunk and was struck by the change in his demeanor. His face was brighter and in spite of the heaviness that hung in the air, he smiled as I approached.

“You weren’t at breakfast,” he said, holding out his hand to me.

I stepped forward and took it, allowing him to pull me down beside him and into a hug.

“I know this is hard, but Flora’s body lasted longer than the doctors ever said it would,” he continued. “Her anemia was severe, and her heart did all it could for as long as it could.”

I pressed my lips together as angry tears stung my eyes. Yolanda would believe this same story. That anemia had killed our friend and not an overdose of behavior-modifying drugs administered by aliens against our will. The realization pricked my emotions, making twisting my insides even further.

“We’ve got to bury her soon,” he continued. “Between the heat and no embalming procedures, we can’t spare time. I was going to try and put something together for this afternoon.”

“Where is she?”

“Some of the women have her in the kitchen area. She’s wrapped up tight in a clean sheet, and they’re preparing her for burial. It’s like something out of the Bible.”

I sat up and looked at him. “You believe in that again?”

He shrugged. “I’m thinking maybe it’s like you said. Just because we didn’t know about aliens, doesn’t mean everything’s a lie. We still have hope.”

I bit my lip. Gallatin had done what I’d asked. He’d restored my brother’s hope. Still, I was so hurt, so betrayed.

“What if I told you it’s all a lie? Us being here. There are no chips, and we can just leave any time we want.”

“We can’t do that,” he shook his head.

“But we can! I’ve been to their cabins. There’s more of us than them here now.”

“What about Cleve?”

In a flash of shame, I realized I’d never asked about him. Or the boxes.

“Besides,” my brother continued. “They’ve got powers. They can do things with their minds. I saw one of them cut through a rope without even touching it.”

“Right,” I sighed as my insides crumbled. “I heard.”

“But it’s going to work out. My faith has been renewed like the eagle!”

I nodded. “That’s good. What time is the service?”

“D’Lo’s preparing a place for her now. I was thinking as soon as he’s done.”

The thought of D’Lo out digging a hole in the rain made me cold, even in the warm air and my thick coveralls. I couldn’t shake the mounting heaviness, and as the hiss of falling rain grew louder outside the screens, I knew I had to go to Flora. I couldn’t bear the thought of her lying on that cold metal counter alone, with only aliens by her side.

“I’m going to sit with her.”

My brother nodded, and I walked back to the door. As I passed Yolanda’s bed, she and Roxie gave me pitying looks.

“I’m sorry about your friend,” Roxie said. “She seemed real sweet.”

“She always tried her best when we were in school,” Yolanda said. “I guess her heart just couldn’t do it any more.”

For a moment, I stood there staring at Yolanda. I couldn’t believe it was that simple. Just like that, she didn’t remember this morning. The stomach pumping, me crying, the dry heaving, the drugs. She’d stood there with me and witnessed the whole awful thing, and as far as I could tell, all of it was gone.

It made me both fearful and sad. This was my future.

“I guess,” was all I could manage in reply. I pushed through the door into the damp air.

* * *

F
lora’s body was wrapped like a mummy in a clean, white sheet and lay on the same metal counter where she’d been that morning. Someone had put tiny purple flowers all around the folds and a small bouquet of Black-Eyed Susans was placed across her chest where her heart would be. The gesture should’ve made me feel better, but it didn’t.

If they hadn’t come, this never would’ve happened. She’d still be alive, and I wouldn’t be feeling this pain. I’d still have my best friend. I sat on a stool beside the counter and ran my finger down the side of the linen.

“I’m so sorry I let you down.” My voice cracked. “I’d give anything if I could make it right again.”

I remembered how we’d been friends back in school, and how I’d looked out for her and helped her when she got tired. Maybe her life would’ve always been cut short, but it wouldn’t have been because of something like this. Her last days would’ve been happier. She would’ve been free, not a prisoner and afraid.

The screen door creaked open behind me, and I heard someone easing it closed to prevent the bang that usually followed. I looked up to see D’Lo crossing the empty space to where I sat.

“Why does it always rain at funerals?” I asked quietly.

“And weddings.”

“It’s actually supposed to be good luck at weddings.”

“You doing okay?” he asked, pulling my head into his side. We were quiet a moment. “Braxton says he’s ready. You going to say something?”

“I don’t know what to say. Except that it’s my fault, and I’m so sorry.

A large, warm hand clasped my shoulder. “How could it be your fault?”

“I could’ve worked harder. I could’ve moved faster.” Tears choked my voice, and he pulled me to him.

“You did the best you could.”

I wasn’t sure that was right, so we were quiet, staring at her wrapped body.

“She always liked that song from church about flying away,” he said. “Why don’t you sing it?”

“I don’t think I can sing, Dee.”

“I’ll help you. And Yolanda knows it.” He took my arm. “We gotta do something for her, Pren.”

I nodded as another prisoner entered the room with a heavier blanket. They transferred her body onto it and carried her out as if she were on a stretcher. The little bouquet slipped, so I caught it and carried it in my arms, following behind.

D’Lo had found a pretty place up the hill under a pear tree. It was leftover from where a house must’ve stood years ago, and there was a little patch of grass growing around it. They got to the spot and Braxton helped lower her into the ground. My eyes flitted to the bruises on his neck, and everything I knew prevented me from listening to his words. I wasn’t sure if I even believed them myself anymore.

Yet something in me couldn’t give up. It was all strange and unreal how these events were forced on us, but I had to keep going. I had to follow my plan. It seemed so long ago that I used to remind myself every day, but I had to find Jackson.

D’Lo stepped forward and motioned to me. Braxton was finished speaking and they were piling the dirt on top of her body. Yolanda started the song. No music, just the sound of our voices and the falling rain.

When the shadows of this life have gone

I’ll fly away

Like a bird from these prison walls has flown

I’ll fly away

I’ll fly away, oh glory

I’ll fly away

When I die Hallelujah by and by

I’ll fly away.

My voice wouldn’t go above a whisper, and when we finished, my brother added an
Amen
. Everyone turned and walked away, but for a moment, I couldn’t move. All I could think of was Flora flying away like that bird from the prison. Like that bird I’d seen sitting on top of the fence that first day with Cleve. Cleve, who I’d all but forgotten about.

I didn’t know how long I stood in the rain staring at the sky. I was soaked through when I finally reached forward and lay the black and gold bouquet across the top of her grave. I watched the dirt mix with my tears, and when I turned back, I saw Gallatin standing beside a tree. He was soaked as well, and it looked like he’d stayed with me the whole time, waiting.