Being True (21 page)

I laughed. “Yes, it does.” I moved my arms to around his neck. I wrapped my legs around his waist while keeping our foreheads joined. As far as I was concerned, we’d stay this way forever.

“I hope you’re not too mad,” he said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“For the way I acted earlier. And for the things I said.” He sighed deeply and rubbed his nose against mine. “I was sort of a prick.”

He was, but that didn’t matter now. “All’s forgiven.”

Javi traced the outline of my jaw before hooking my chin. He brought me back to his lips, where we found each other again. His tongue slipped into my mouth, and I immediately drew it farther in.

The gentleness of our first kiss gave way to surging passion that flowed between us as my tongue invaded his mouth and his shot back into mine. Javi clutched at my back, and I raked my hands through his hair.

I’d been mistaken.
This
was how we’d stay for the rest of our lives.

Javi agreed. He moved his hands to the curve of my back. He danced his fingers along the exposed skin, dipping his fingertips beneath the waistband before drawing them back out.

I shifted my position and lowered my arms. I clutched at his chest and his muscled arms as our tongues continued their dance.

My heart raced, and my breath came out in ragged breaths. A fire I’d never experienced scorched my body until I feared I’d literally burst into flame. Only the rain, which continued to pound the roof of the pavilion, might be enough to douse the fire.

Javi reluctantly pulled away. His flushed cheeks and panting breaths revealed he’d been as on the verge of passing out as I was.

We sat there for a few moments, neither of us speaking. The rain tapped out a beat atop the roof that matched the steady rhythm of our hearts.

“So, was that better than your vampire Carl?” Javi asked. He broke into a full smile.

“You put Carl to shame,” I replied. “Must be all your experience.”

“Maybe,” he said with a nod. “But kissing girls and kissing you are two different experiences. This beats them, hands down.”

I laid my head on his shoulder and nuzzled into the crook of his neck. His heady scent clung to the air around him. I could get drunk on it all day. “And you didn’t swallow any of my teeth.”

Javi laughed. “No, I didn’t. But I sure as hell tried.”

Silence once again swept over us. Not because we were embarrassed or didn’t know what to say. Being in each other’s arms revealed more than words could possibly communicate, so we sat there in our mutual embrace, our hands gliding across each other with the patter of rain playing like our personal orchestra.

Even though I hated to break the easy quiet that enveloped us, I had to. “Can I ask you something?”

“Ask away.”

I sat up and gazed deeply into his smiling eyes. “How long have you known you were gay?”

“I was never certain,” he admitted with a long exhalation. “I mean, I knew I found some guys attractive, but I felt the same way about some girls.”

“So you think you’re bi, then?”

He shrugged. “I’m not really sure what I am, to be honest. I’ve always been more confused than anything else. I’ve already told you about Dina, but what I didn’t tell you was that there was this eighth grader at my middle school, his name was Adam, and I remember thinking he was the cutest boy I’d ever seen. All the girls loved him. And he went out with a different girl every week. I wanted to be just like him, but I was this awkward sixth grader. One day while I was playing baseball with kids during gym class, Adam came up and asked if he could join. Naturally, we let him, and I think I watched him more than I paid attention to the game. I sure as hell made more than my fair share of mistakes because of it. And every time I did, he’d come up to me and give me advice. He wasn’t an asshole about it either. He was very calm and nice, and we became friends.”

Javi sighed in deep thought before continuing. “I followed him around for the rest of the year. He never made me feel like a dweeb or some stupid pesky kid. He really cared about me. At least that’s the way he made me feel. He was the one who told me to go for it with Dina. He said she obviously liked me, and I should get what I could while I could. I didn’t know what he meant at the time, especially since what I wanted was to kiss him, but I thought if Adam says to do it, I should probably do it. And I figured it might make me less confused.”

“Did it?”

He shook his head. “I think it confused me more. The kiss wasn’t all that great, but it felt good. My body reacted in ways I didn’t understand. All I knew was that I got the same feelings around Adam without kissing him. And I really wanted to see if kissing him would make me feel the same way Dina did.”

“And you never got the chance?”

“Nope. He moved to California midyear, and I never saw him again.” He cupped my cheek in his big hand. “You’re the first boy I’ve ever kissed.”

I couldn’t stop my huge grin from forming. Whenever I felt it come on, I usually hid it with my hand or tried to think of something sad that would prevent me from baring my huge horse teeth, but today I welcomed it and let it shine.

“I love your smile,” Javi said. Of course hearing that made my lips stretch even broader, and I ducked back into the crook of his neck. “Aww, why are you hiding?”

“You embarrassed me,” I said against Javi’s warm skin.

Javi laughed. “Don’t be. I think it’s beautiful.”

Now I practically beamed. “Stop it! You’re gonna make my face crack.”

Javi leaned his head against mine and drew me securely into his arms. “We can’t have that. I plan on kissing that face again real soon.”

“I’m good with that,” I said as I pressed my mouth to his neck. After nibbling my way up to his chin, Javi shivered. But before we got lost in our passion, there was something else I just had to know. “Why me?”

His eyes, which had been half-closed in anticipation of another long, leisurely kiss, fluttered open. “Huh?”

“Why am I here with you now?”

Javi stared at me as if I’d gone mad. “Because I like you. It’s as simple as that.”

But to me, it wasn’t that simple. If I was in Javi’s arms because I was the only gay boy he’d met, I needed to know that. What I felt for Javi was certainly more than just exploration of my sexuality. And it was definitely more than experimentation. Maybe that was what had concerned my mom. She hadn’t worried Javi might hurt me physically. She’d been fearful that Javi, who obviously hadn’t discovered who he was yet, might break my heart on his path to finding himself.

“What’s going on?” he asked. He’d noted the change in my expression. The smile that had practically split my face had retreated to a thin line.

“I really need to know why you chose me,” I said. “I mean, look at you. You’re the star player on the high school baseball team. The same team that might return to the state finals. Pretty much every kid and teacher loves you, and you’re probably the sweetest and the hottest guy I’ve ever met. I’m like the complete opposite of that. I’m the weird-looking new kid with only one other friend besides you in the entire school.”

“First of all,” Javi said as he placed his hands on either side of my face, “you’re not weird-looking. I wish you wouldn’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Well, when you’re told you look like Donkey from
Shrek
, it’s kind of hard to believe differently.”

Javi chuckled and craned his neck forward to brush his lips against mine. “I happen to love Donkey from
Shrek
. He’s my favorite character. And I can tell you that you look nothing like him.” He traced the edges of my mouth. “The big smile you’re so embarrassed about is quite stunning. There’s something pure about it. And when I see it, I want to do anything to keep it on your face because it lights up your eyes and kinda wipes all the shit you’ve been through from your soul. As if it never existed. But even more than all that, I’m here with you now because when I saw you that first day in class, there was something about you that drew me to you. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but now I think about it, it was the same pull I had toward Adam. And when I got to know you and spend more time with you, it only got stronger. It about drove me crazy. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I always wanted to be with you. And when I was with you, I wanted to touch you. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it because the feelings you brought out of me so quickly terrified me. I fought them. Hard. But when I brushed against your hard cock, I realized you might feel the same way too.

“That’s when a whole world of possibilities opened up. And after spending all these weeks with you, fighting what I’ve wanted for so long, I decided to just go with it. See where these feelings take us.” He pulled me close and brushed a reassuring kiss across my temple. “And that’s how you’re here with me now. It wasn’t a choice. It just happened.”

When he finished speaking, I dove onto his lips. My fears and concerns floated away, and when our lips finally parted, the gray clouds had retreated and the rain had stopped falling. Sunlight once again streaked through the haze, and my grin had never been wider.

W
E
LEFT
the park after the storm. The rain no longer provided us the cover we needed to be together, and though we wanted to remain in each other’s arms all day, that was impossible out in public.

So we drove back to my place. My mom would be at work for another hour or so, and we needed to get into dry clothing. For the entire drive across town, the only way we could stop our teeth from chattering was to hold hands. Our touch drove the chill away.

Javi had barely put the vehicle in park before we hopped out and sprinted for the front door. Once we were inside with the door safely locked behind us, Javi took me in his arms and pressed his lips against mine.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he said into my mouth.

I moaned in reply. I couldn’t do anything else. His full body now rested against mine. We were no longer sitting in a weird crab-like fashion as we had in the pavilion. His chest rested against mine, and he reached under my shirt. He traveled his fingers across my flesh before dancing around my nipples and grinding his hard cock against my straining erection.

As I explored the wetness of his mouth with my tongue, I lifted his shirt and surfed my hands across his slightly chilled skin. Goose bumps spread across his flesh, and I charted a path up his muscled back before traveling back down to his waist. I dipped my fingers beneath the waistband of his shorts and grasped the top of his firm ass.

Javi groaned and flattened me against the front door. He thrust his hips against mine as if he were trying to rip his clothes free from just the friction of his movement. His mouth suddenly left mine, and he traced the curve of my cheek with a kiss before arriving at my neck, where he alternated between gentle nibbles and light flicks of his tongue.

Every time his teeth bit into me or his tongue swirled across my flesh, I gripped his ass harder, forcing his groin firmly against mine.

“You taste so good,” he whimpered before once again molding his lips to mine.

I replied only in primal noises. Nothing else could communicate the powerful desire that held us both in its sweaty embrace. But it wasn’t just lust that flowed between us. It was much more. My swelling heart and the storm of butterflies flitting in my stomach told me what was happening between me and Javi was more than two horny teenage boys making out.

We had a connection that tethered us together, and it had formed before we realized what had happened. What it was, I had no clue. Javi most likely didn’t either. This was newer for him than it was for me. He’d been fighting himself and his feelings for a long time while I had simply accepted who I was a long time ago.

That was why we had to stop. We traveled unexplored territory, and we needed to do it with level heads. And right now, the two heads we were thinking with were much farther south than the ones above our shoulders.

“Javi,” I whispered as I pulled away.

He pounced back onto my lips. He placed his right hand on my butt, squeezing it while he pulled me tighter against him. The fingers on his other hand fluttered across the back of my neck, sending a thousand shivering pulses coursing through me.

“Javi, please,” I said. This time, I placed my hands on his chest and gently nudged him away.

His eyes opened and grew wide, and he took a step back. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I said, too out of breath to say much else. It had taken all my strength not to hand control of my body over to my hard dick. It certainly knew what it wanted. “We just need to slow things down a bit. Don’t you think?”

He placed his hands on his hips and blew out a lungful of air. After a few seconds of deep, measured breath, he nodded. “Not really, but I suppose you’re right.”

It made me feel better that he somewhat agreed. I grabbed his hand and led him back to the couch where we’d watched our zombie marathon last night. After we sat down, I wrapped his arm around my shoulders and leaned against him. “I hope you don’t think this is too girly or anything,” I said. “But I don’t want to rush things. I mean, you’ve just now accepted you might be gay. That’s a pretty big step for anyone. Adding something like sex to the equation is probably not the smartest move.”

“Probably not, no,” he agreed as he laced the fingers of his right hand with my left. “But it sure felt good.”

I smiled up at him. “You’ll get no argument from me on that.”

“I’m glad,” he said as he pressed his lips to my forehead. “Can I ask you something?”

“Ask away.”

He snuffed before speaking. “This might sound girly, but what are we now?”

I laughed. I’d just been thinking the same thing. “I’m not sure.”

Our relationship had evolved rather quickly. One minute we were friends and the next we were eating each other’s faces. It seemed like the smart thing to do would be to determine the parameters. But just what were they? He was just now coming to grips with his sexuality. It seemed far too soon to be boyfriends after such a revelation. Plus, we still had the shark-infested waters of high school to navigate. How would we handle trying to be a couple at school? Sure, gay kids and people were more prevalent these days. The closet doors of society had already been flung open, but in the barrio of San Antonio, where the citizens were mostly Roman Catholic and not as free thinking as other parts of the nation, coming out as a couple would likely destroy Javi’s life and rain further hell upon my head.