Being True (22 page)

“Yeah, me either,” he said with a sigh. “I know what I feel, though. And it’s good. I don’t want that to end.”

“I agree.”

“How about for now we be friends who care a lot for each other and who just happen to make out? And I mean like a lot.” His lopsided grin inched across his face.

That sure as hell sounded like a train I was willing to board. “I like the sound of that. And we can see how things go. Just let it happen like it’s done so far.”

“I like that,” Javi said with a nod. He opened his mouth but then immediately closed it.

“What?” I asked. “No need to get shy on me now.”

“I was just wondering if you were going to tell Claudia or your mom.”

I’d actually already given that some thought. The excited little boy inside me longed to run to both of them and spill everything that had happened. After all, finding someone like Javi was like a dream come true, but sometimes when dreams were shared, reality intruded. When something was new, it was usually better to leave it alone and let its roots take hold. Then, when reality inevitably shook the ground, what was once new had had time to become established enough to withstand the shocks of life. “No,” I finally said. “I’m not. Right now, this is just for you and me. It’s too soon to bring anyone else into it. It’ll make things only more complicated.”

Javi gazed down at me before leaning forward to sweep his lips against mine. “I feel the same way.”

“Then it’s settled,” I said. “And it’s time for you to go.”

“What?” Javi asked, his mouth still open for more mouth-to-mouth action.

“My mother will be home within the hour,” I said with a nod to the clock. “And she can’t find us both soaked through, making out on the couch.”

“And she won’t,” Javi said. “I just need one final kiss before I go. It’ll help get me through what will likely be the longest night of my life.” He reached for my hand and pulled me on top of him. He nestled his lips against mine before his tongue once again came alive in my mouth. Javi had about stolen all the breath from my body by the time he hesitantly broke free. After burying his nose against the exposed flesh of my neck, he inhaled deeply.

When it was time for him to go, my hands refused to let him depart. My stomach sank to the ground as I waved good-bye and stared after him as he drove away. But knowing that he and I would be together tomorrow lifted me higher than I’d ever been before. And long after my mother came home from work and I’d crawled into the bed where Javi had slept the night before, the smile on my face couldn’t match the one in my heart.

Chapter 9

F
OR
THE
next few weeks before the end of the semester, Javi and I did our best to stick to the routine we had established to keep anyone from guessing the nature of our relationship had changed. It was difficult limiting our time together to our rides to and from school and hanging out in the park or having dinner with his parents.

But when Christmas break finally came, we spent practically the entire vacation with each other. We watched movies, and we made out. We hung out with Claudia, and we made out some more. We held hands on our way to and from places whenever we got to borrow either of his parents’ cars. We did our Christmas shopping together, only separating to buy each other gifts. I got Javi a baseball-stitched wallet, and I placed the picture of us inside it. When he opened it and saw the photo, he almost pulled me into a kiss. Thankfully, he remembered his parents were in the room.

He gave me a chain with a charm of St. Michael, the patron saint of protection. “To watch over you when I’m not with you,” he said when we were alone in his room. He kissed the back of my neck as he clasped it around me.

For New Year’s, Javi, Claudia, and I headed downtown to watch the fireworks. And as we rang in 2014 together, with the multicolored lightshow exploding overhead, we stared into each other’s eyes instead of at the fireworks. For me, nothing was more beautiful than the comforting, warm blanket of Javi looking at me. He obviously felt the same, because while everyone oohed and aahed around us, Javi bravely reached out and rubbed his thumb along my cheek and over my lips. I did the same thing. It was how we kissed in the middle of San Antonio, surrounded by thousands of people.

When Javi turned eighteen a few days later, I made up a small picnic of chicken salad sandwiches and sodas, and chocolate cupcakes for his birthday cake, and took him back to the pavilion in the park, where we’d shared our first kiss. Even though Javi had to drive us there, he enjoyed the gesture, and we snuck in a few kisses too.

Both of us wanted to do more. We’d gotten close a few times since that time in the apartment, but I’d promised my mother. Javi didn’t want to be part of breaking a promise I’d made. The closest we’d come to breaking that promise was masturbating together, which we were doing more and more these days. “What about when you turn eighteen?” he asked as he licked the icing from his third cupcake. “Can we do it then?”

“She wants me to wait till graduation,” I reminded him.

Javi groaned. “That’s so far away.”

And it certainly seemed that way, especially once Christmas break ended and we went back to school. We had a tough time readjusting. We had to go back to acting as if we were just friends instead of so much more.

But we kept spring break as our goal. We’d have a whole week to ourselves, and my birthday was just a few days after. Although I hadn’t told Javi, I’d seriously considered not waiting until after graduation for us to finally experience each other’s touch.

Being in his arms and kissing him felt right. I could only imagine what doing all that naked would be like.

But that was a few weeks away. Right now, we had to get through the torture of being at school, unable to express how we felt. So we tried to show it in little ways.

When we stopped to talk or clasp hands, as we sometimes did in greeting, we’d sometimes linger for a second longer than was needed. When we ate dinner with his parents, Javi’s legs would inevitably find mine under the table. He’d rest them against me or rub his foot up and down my shin.

Staying focused on the day to day proved almost impossible. My mind constantly rushed forward to the next time Javi and I would spend time together under our tree. Or the next time we might be alone for more than an hour at a time and rest upon each other’s lips or in each other’s arms instead of keeping a watchful eye on the clock for when my mother might get home.

Usually, thinking about how and when we’d spend quality time together resulted in a raging erection that refused to go down. I abandoned carrying my books in my book bag and simply left it in my locker. I took my US History book with me to every class to conceal the never-ending boner I carried around in my jeans, and George Washington couldn’t have been any less amused. He had my cock pressed against him more than Javi did, which was a sad and depressing fact.

But we had to keep our relationship a secret. At least for now. That made sticking to our routine important. If we didn’t, and if we didn’t censor the emotions that stirred within us, the high school rumor mill might churn out gossip neither of us needed.

As it was Claudia was proving difficult to keep in the dark.

“I know there’s something you’re not telling me, Tru,” she said while I manipulated an image in the journalism Mac lab. That sentence had become her mantra over the last couple of weeks, and she’d turned into a dog with a bone. “And I want to know what it is.”

I blew her a kiss. “I’ve fallen in love with you and want you to be the mother of my children.”

She pretended to gag. “Now you’re just being gross,” she said with a roll of her eyes, which had been excessively outlined with dark pencil liner. In fact, Claudia had even dyed the purple out of her hair. It was now as pitch-black as a country road at night. Her clothing remained the same. She wore a black, long-sleeve shirt with print that said, “Yeah, yeah. Yadda, yadda. Whatever.”

“I think we’d make beautiful children,” I said as I went back to work. “They’d have my good looks and your charming disposition.”

“Sweet talking me will get you nowhere.” She took the seat next to me and studied me as I continued to ignore her. “I can sense it. You’re hiding something. I noticed it a while back. After you told me about Javi accidently sitting on your—” She stopped, and instead of saying the word, she wiggled her eyebrows and nodded to my groin.

“Now who’s being gross?” I asked as I stuck out my tongue at her. Her blank look revealed she was not going to let the matter drop as easily as she had in the past. She smelled a story, and she intended to get the scoop. I removed my hand from the computer mouse and locked onto her gaze. “That is so last year. Besides, I already told you what happened between Javi and me after that.”

She waved away my words and then pointed to the lettering on her shirt. “You guys talked about it at some park. Javi asked you questions about your past. You told him some vampire story, and you laughed the whole thing off.”

“That’s what happened. I swear.”

She studied me with one eyebrow raised. “You choose your words carefully, you know that?”

Uh-oh. That didn’t sound good. Claudia knew me too well. So far, I’d been able to get away with not lying by doing what she had accused me of. Technically, I was committing the lie of omission, but not everyone needed to know my business. I’d been able to justify not revealing everything under those terms. But if Claudia happened to ask a point-blank question, how on earth was I going to respond? “I’m telling you exactly what happened,” I finally said.

“There you go again,” she said, pointing at me. “I believe what you’re telling me is the truth. I’ve gotten to know you pretty well, and you suck balls at lying.”

“And there you go,” I replied with a hand flourish. “Case closed.”

She snickered. “Oh, hell no! The case is most definitely open. I just haven’t asked the right question yet, but I will. You can bet your life on it.”

I was getting annoyed. While I appreciated Claudia’s interest in my life and well-being, her continuing intrusion on the matter might stir up unforeseen trouble. Claudia would certainly not tell anyone if she knew about Javi and me, but she’d definitely want to constantly talk about it if she knew. And if we happened to discuss it when unseen ears were listening, everything Javi and I had spent the last few months trying to accomplish would be destroyed. “Just let it go,” I finally said. “If there’s something for you to know, I’ll tell you.”

She eyed me again and grinned. “That’s all I needed to hear.” She got up and walked out of the lab with a Cheshire grin plastered across her face.

What the hell did that mean, and what was she up to now?

A
FTER
I
finished up in the Mac lab, I waited for Claudia so we could walk to seventh period together. We had different classes, but they were only a few doors down from each other.

Mr. Avila, however, told me she had left, and when I checked her desk, she had already snagged her things.

I didn’t have time to think about it, though, as the pretardy bell rang to let us know that we had less than five minutes to get to our next class. I said my good-byes to Mr. Avila and strolled down the hall toward my physics class.

As I rounded the corner and crossed the glass-enclosed breezeway that connected the north part of the building with the south, I spotted Rance strolling toward me with a small pack of the Jock Brigade. They were laughing and carrying on about some nonsense, completely oblivious to my presence among the small trickle of students that had not yet entered their classrooms.

Since he and Javi had mostly patched things up, Rance had kept his distance. That, and he still had the threat of being kicked off the team if he was caught fighting on campus again. But Javi had spent less time with him again recently, since he’d been spending it with me, and I could see the storm once again brewing in his eyes.

Every now and then it came out in muttered curses at me under his breath. Calling me a fag when I passed was a routine experience. And usually, when Rance saw me, he made sure to shoot enough daggers at me that he made his point.

He hated me, and he wanted me to die.

Somehow, Javi was completely oblivious to Rance’s obvious antagonism. Granted, Rance did a halfway decent job of masking his loathing of me when Javi was in the general vicinity. It was as if he feared losing Javi’s friendship more than he hated me. I didn’t understand it, but I took what reprieve I could get. But for Javi to be that unaware confused the hell out of me.

How could someone so loving and caring not see that his best friend hated the guts of, well, the boy Javi loved to kiss? It seemed counterintuitive, especially since I could count on one hand how many times both Rance and I had been around Javi at the same time.

“Faggot!” Rance called as he drew closer. The word echoed down the hall, and the students around me gave me a wide berth. While being Javi’s friend compelled most to be nice to me, they most certainly weren’t going to spill any of their blood in my defense.