Believe Like a Child (37 page)
T
he rest of July flew by, as Alessa prepared for her final exams and went through the motions of planning her wedding with Hannah. She really didn’t care who, how, where or when. So it was easy to let Remo’s mother have her way. By early August, Hannah had completed the guest list. It covered everyone, starting from some of their close friends to casual acquaintances, and went up to a total of 100 people.
The night before Hannah was due to go to the printer for invitations, she called Alessa to finalize the list.
“Hi Alessa, this is Hannah,” she said. “I’m going to the printer tomorrow for the invitations. I will need the addresses of your mom, your brother and your sisters. Do you have any other relatives we should be inviting?”
Alessa sighed heavily. She had known this topic of conversation would eventually come up again. “Actually, Hannah,” she said, trying not to sound tense, “I’m only inviting my sister, Rosabella. I can give you her address.”
Hannah, who had been waiting for this very moment, jumped at the opportunity. “Are you saying you’re not inviting your own mother, Alessa?”
Alessa’s patience was beginning to wear thin, “Yes, Hannah, that’s right,” she said crisply. “I don’t speak to my mother. I’ve only talked to her once in the last four and a half years and it wasn’t very pleasant.”
Hannah was like a dog with a bone. “Alessa,” she said in a voice reeking of disapproval, “no matter what happened between the two of you, she is still your
mother.
I couldn’t imagine getting married without my mother being there at my wedding. What exactly happened between the two of you?”
The frustration was clear in Alessa’s voice as she tried to close the subject. “It’s a long, complicated story. For now, let’s just leave it alone.”
Hannah was furious at being blown off in this manner. “Alessa,” she said in a harsh tone, “you are about to marry my son. I have a right to know what’s going on. It’s just unacceptable to me that you are being so disrespectful to your mother. Is this how you’ll try to persuade Remo to treat me after you’re married?”
Ding! Ding! Ding! Hannah had pushed Alessa’s buttons and now there was no stopping the flood that had been dammed for a long time.
“Hannah,” she said, throwing caution to the wind, “if you really need to know, I was raped, when I was seven years old, by my uncle who lived with us. When I told my mother about it, she didn’t believe me. She allowed it to happen over and over again in her house. I finally ran away from home when I was sixteen years old. I went back a couple of months ago when my father died and found my mother to be the same heathen she had been when I left. There! Is that reason enough by your standards to justify not inviting her?”
Hannah was shocked. “Alessa, I can’t believe what I’m hearing!” she exclaimed. “I should have been told about all of this before. I need to go now.”
Even before Alessa hung up the phone, she knew that Hannah would call Remo and tell him in no uncertain terms that he was out of his fucking mind for deciding to marry her. Maybe he was making a mistake, Alessa told herself. After all, she wasn’t exactly an innocent blushing, bride. She wasn’t going to worry about Hannah anymore, though. She knew Remo would make his own decisions and she would let the chips fall where they may.
Alessa called Ebby to tell her what had just happened between Hannah and her. Ebby merely reinforced her own impression: first, there was no way Alessa would be able to change her future mother-in-law’s opinion of her and second, while Remo loved his mother, he would make his own decisions.
Once their phone conversation ended, Ebby sat down at her kitchen table, wondering what made people like Hannah presume they were in a position to judge others. Meanwhile, Alessa went back to studying. Lucy was still over at a friend’s house when Remo came home a few hours later. He walked over to Alessa and wrapped her in a warm, lingering embrace and he felt the tension in her body. He wasn’t sure if she was so tightly wound up from her upcoming exams or it had something to do with her earlier conversation with his mother.
“How was your day?” he asked.
Alessa looked at him knowingly. “Well, aside from studying for exams, I talked to your mom today. I can tell from that look on your face that you did too.”
Remo kissed her neck. “Ah hmm… So I see,” he murmured. “I understand you told her about your uncle and your mother?”
Becoming aroused as he continued to kiss her neck, she said, “Ah hmm… I don’t think I won her over.”
Remembering that Lucy would be away for at least another couple of hours, Remo slid his strong, smooth hand under her shirt. Instantly excited, Alessa removed his shirt. She kissed his chest as he slowly took her shirt off and unsnapped her bra. Her nipples were hard. He bent to close his mouth over one, while unzipping her pants. Then he dropped to his knees and moved his lips down her body, kissing her inner thighs. Slowly, he removed her panties. Then his tongue found itself between her legs. She arched back against the kitchen table and he lifted her gently until she was lying flat on her back. His tongue continued to play between her legs and Alessa thought she would explode from the sensations it was causing within her.
Remo paused just long enough to make her want him more than the air she breathed. She reached out and grasped him, clinging tight, her body begging him to continue. As his fingers slid inside her, he leaned over her naked body and kissed her deeply and passionately. He licked her slowly from neck to navel and back down between her legs again till he was sure she couldn’t contain her desperation. Then he thrust himself inside her. By this time, they were both so aroused that it only lasted a few minutes before they collapsed in a heap on the kitchen table.
After a moment, Alessa murmured softly, “Well, I guess I don’t need to ask you what you said to your mother.”
He nibbled on her ear. “Nope,” he whispered. “That about says it all.”
She ran her hand over his muscular abdomen. “You’re the hottest man on earth. God, you turn me on!”
“You ain’t so bad yourself,” he quipped.
As they got dressed, they talked about their day. Hand in hand, they walked over to the kitchen counter to prepare dinner together. Alessa was content that no further words needed to be exchanged about Hannah. Remo had handled it and his mother knew his mind was made up. As Alessa was cleaning the lettuce at the sink, Remo walked up from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“You’re awful sexy the way you clean lettuce!”
Alessa laughed and went on with her chore.
“I love you, Alessa,” Remo said. “I’ve never loved anyone in my life the way I love you.”
Alessa turned to face him. Of course they had told each other many times before that they loved one another, but there was something pure and sincere in his voice this time.
“You okay?” she asked him.
“I’m better than okay,” he replied, then bent down and kissed her gently.
“I love you too, Remo. I am a very lucky woman.”
Remo turned the burners off on the stove and Alessa abandoned the lettuce in the sink. They held each other close, as they headed to their bedroom for Round Two.
A
lessa was relieved to finish her exams the following week. Then she started thinking about the wedding. It was early August and she would be getting married in less than a month. On a sunny Saturday morning, she was eating breakfast with Remo, when Lucy stumbled into the kitchen. Still half asleep, she asked, “What are we doing today?”
Alessa looked up from her breakfast, “Well, I thought we would go shopping for wedding dresses today.”
Thrilled, Lucy squealed, “I can’t wait! What time are we going?”
“We should be ready to leave at noon, okay?”
The child looked at the clock on the wall. It was only 8.30 a.m. “Okay, I’ll be ready.”
Lucy was going to be Alessa’s maid of honor. Two of the girls who lived in the apartments below that Alessa was closest with had been chosen as her bridesmaids. One of the girls was seventeen years old. When she was fifteen, she had announced to her parents that she was gay. They had responded by beating her, claiming that God wanted them to beat the devil out of her body. When she recovered from the beating a few weeks later and told them it had made no difference and she was still gay, they had thrown her out of their home and told her to go live in the devil’s playground with the other sinners. They were convinced she would be exiled to hell forever, never to see or know God. She was a sweet girl who was clear about her sexuality, but very confused about people and life in general. She had had a very religious, but stable childhood and when her parents threw her out, she had suddenly felt as if she knew nothing at all, either about people or about love. She had taken a bus into Philadelphia and had been living on the streets until the Outside Inn opened.
The other girl who had been selected as a bridesmaid was sixteen years old and had been severely abused as a child. Her mother had died of breast cancer when she was only four years old and she had been raised in a house full of men. The youngest of her siblings, she had been raped by every one of her family members—starting from her father to her three older brothers. She wore scars from cigarette burns on her arms and legs, all inflicted by her father. The men would also torment her with taunts about her being ugly and retarded. For a time, she actually believed she was mentally unstable. The day after one of her brothers let his friend have sex with her for an ounce of pot, she fled her home, knowing that she would never return.
Faced with the slimmest of chances, both girls, like Alessa, had found a way out of their predicament. These were the typical stories of many homeless teens. However, to survive such abuse without developing a heart of stone was rare. Usually, and understandably, these young teens were wary and on the defensive, always apprehensive that the world was out to hurt them. Like Alessa, though, both girls had come through, nurturing the hope that there were people with the capacity to love and care for other human beings. It was this thread of hope shared by all three that had made the girls instant friends.
Alessa first looked for Lucy’s dress in the bridal shop, finding an inexpensive purple and white gown that was just the right style for an
almost
eleven-year-old. Satisfied at having made her first sale, the saleslady showed them the matching gown for the bridesmaids. These dresses were also purple and white, but with variations to distinguish the maid of honor from the bridesmaids. None of the girls were picky. Their mission was to find dresses that looked good on them and cost as little money as possible.
Finally, the attention was focused on Alessa. The saleswoman sized her up and said, “I have a couple of dresses I think would be perfect for you.”
The woman came out with three dresses and led Alessa to the dressing room. The first was in a mermaid style, form-fitting from the bust to the knees and flaring out at the bottom. The second was in silk, with a full lace overlay. It had a halter neckline and a straight fit down to the floor. Both dresses were beautiful and Alessa realized she and the girls might have a hard time deciding between them. She knew that if left to her, she would pick the cheaper one. The third dress had a heart-shaped bodice in satin that narrowed down to her navel. The skirt consisted of layer upon layer of the softest white tulle studded with small pearls and clear stones. When Alessa put the dress on, she felt as if she were in a fairy tale. She had never worn anything as beautiful and the dress looked absolutely perfect on her. The stones caught the light as she moved, creating an angelic effect.
The saleswoman studied her carefully before she spoke. “Yes,” she sighed with contentment, “I knew this would be the right one.”
When Alessa came out and posed for the girls, they gazed at her with their mouths open. None of them had ever seen a dress so elegantly simple, yet so exceptional.
Alessa looked at the saleswoman. “How much is it?” she asked tentatively.
The saleswoman inquired, “Well, is that the one you really like?”
Alessa hesitated, not wanting to commit to a dress she couldn’t afford. “Yes, I love it,” she replied. “But I need to know how much it costs.”
The saleswoman seemed oblivious to her client’s concern about the price. “It doesn’t matter how much it costs,” she replied merrily, then added, “because your new father-in-law, Patrick, is buying it for you. In fact, this is the very dress he thought would be perfect for you. He said it was going to be his gift to welcome his new daughter into the family.”
Alessa began to cry and the others were too moved to hold back their tears. Lucy, however, looked a little disappointed until the saleswoman turned to her and said, “While Patrick didn’t pick your dress for you, he said, he wanted to buy whatever you picked as a gift for his new granddaughter.”
The child was instantly elated at the thought that Patrick had remembered her. Now she felt accepted.
When the girls got back to the car, Alessa looked over at Remo, who was pretending to be unaware of their presence, and said, “You knew, didn’t you? That’s why you brought us here.”
Remo slid his hand down her arm. “Of course I knew,” he smiled. “It was my dad’s idea, though. He wanted to do something special for you and Lucy. He told me what he had done and where I was to take you. He loves you both, you know, and is happy for all of us.”
When they got home, Alessa immediately called Patrick. The sound of his voice, as he answered the phone, made her feel connected to him. For the first time in her life, she felt as if she had a father.
“Hello Patrick,” she said, then overcome by emotion, lapsed into silence.
Remo’s father could tell how moved she was. He waited for her to speak again.
“Patrick,” she began again, “I wanted to thank you for buying my dress and Lucy’s. I had never expected that and neither had she. I can’t describe how much it means to us.”
Patrick choked up. After a small silence, he managed to say, “You’re welcome, Alessa. I never had a daughter and now I do. Even better, I have a daughter who makes my son happy. You’re a part of our family and I wanted to welcome you the right way. I realize things are hard for you with Hannah, but even she can’t deny how happy Remo is with you and Lucy. Just keep that in mind the next time she says something crazy.”
They both laughed at his comment about Hannah, knowing quite well that she was unlikely to change her views about Alessa and there would always be tension between them.
After Alessa had hung up the phone, she turned to Remo and wrapped her arms around him tightly.
He felt the turmoil within her and asked, “What’s wrong?”
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she clung to him. After she had calmed down a bit, she explained, “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just that I never really had a dad and yours makes me feel so special. I’m crying because I’m happy. I am so happy!”
Remo held her and smiled at Lucy, who watched contentedly as the woman she loved the most in the world proclaimed her happiness.
“What do you say, Luce,” Remo said, catching her eye, “should we go celebrate with some ice cream?”
Lucy jumped up at once. “Yeah, man!” she replied enthusiastically. “Let’s go. I want vanilla with rainbow jimmies.”
Alessa looked at her with a grin. “Of course you do! That’s your favorite,” she remarked.
Lucy skipped all the way to the car, with the two adults following close behind. Alessa thought about the events of the day and said to herself, “This was a good fuckin’ day!”