Belonging Part III (10 page)

None of the agents are interested in helping me until I fill out the forms and they realize that I’m moving in with Roy. Then they start showing me pages of flats left, right and centre. Before they see Roy’s name they act as if I am wasting their time.

It makes me feel deflated.  I reassure myself that it is a good exercise to find out what’s on the market.  The more I try and work out what my input is, the more the realisation that I have nothing to offer, in all of this and I start to down.

I feel a sense of relief when it is time to head back and meet Henry.  As I gaze into the old man’s eyes the same thing keeps recurring in my mind. How the heck am I going to ask him? It is obvious that I can’t say anything to him. We’ve never exchanged more than a few glances and exchanged a minimum number of words. Not only did I not have the confidence to ask him, I had no grounds. A missed call on Hudson’s phone wasn’t enough to question him.

I decide both quests are a waste of time. I am out of my league. The price of an average two bedroom flat in this area ranges from two to six thousand per week. It is a joke!

I feel so frustrated that by the time I walk into the house, I just brush past Betty as though I don’t even notice her. I’m tired and hungry. I never ate or drank anything the whole time I was out. I just keep thinking about what I’m going to do and if I am out of my league.

“Deborah?” Betty asks as she holds onto my hand and spins me around.

“Sorry Betty... my mind is elsewhere. I had an unsuccessful run at trying to find a new place for us.” I shake my head to come back down to reality. Then, I think about my one comfort that will get me out of this, that will make me feel right about what is going on inside my mind... Roy.

“Is he home?” I scan the corridor hoping he will flash through.

“No, it’s only four. He’ll be home later. Do you want to talk?”

I never thought I would say this or even feel it, but for some reason the idea of sitting down and talking with Betty seems to relax me, like a breath of fresh air.

“I want to talk and eat. Let’s go to the kitchen.” We walk through the corridor as if we’re old friends, laughing and exchanging jokes about the estate. She tells me about her family in Scotland while I make us both an omelette. I love it when I’m in the kitchen which isn’t often.

Betty prepares the breakfast table with the dishes, cutleries and glasses.  No one uses it, well not since I’ve been here and as we both sit down to eat as I put the bread and omelette on our plates.  Something’s been troubling me for a while. I asked Roy once and he brushed over the subject.

“I’m still confused,” after I stuff a piece of omelette in my mouth. She seems more relaxed and back to the old Betty she used to be when I first entered this house.

“What is it dear?” she places her lose strands of hair behind her ear.

“What did Stephie have over you?” The room goes quiet as if I’ve said the one thing I shouldn’t have said. I sigh because I start to think that it’s none of my business. If they wanted me to know that they would have told me. A long time ago.

A tear escapes from her eye as she swallows a lump in her throat and says, “I was like you. I walked into a household manipulated by the sophisticated gentleman of the house. The only difference was I had a child.”

Of course, why had this not registered in my brain before?

“Stephie!” I blurt out, because why else would Stephie leave everything to Betty.

She nods, but she can’t look me in the eye. Betty keeps on talking, “So, unfortunately, the Jones’ couldn’t have children. Mr Jones didn’t hesitate to tell his wife that he could give her a child. I had two choices to leave and go back to the estate or be part of the child’s life. I chose to stay. I was part of her life the same way a mother was, but she never actually called me mum.”

She stops talking as one of the girls enters the room. We greet her and it’s clear she isn’t welcome so she leaves after a few seconds.

“When Stephie found out, well let’s just say she never welcomed me with open arms. She married Charles and wanted nothing more to do with them. Until they died in the crash. She claimed her inheritance like a duck taking to the water, not hesitating for a moment.” She takes a few gulps of her wine. I can’t believe this, it feels like a story that’s made up. Or one of the stories we hear back on the estate. Not people’s real life. “When, I asked her to help you, she refused, out of spite or whatever crazy thought that was going through her mind. Probably jealousy, who knows with Stephie.  Roy, on the other hand, his obsession with you started then.”

We are interrupted again and all I can think about is for her to finish her story. This time it is Henry, but he’s lingering about a bit too much. I was just about to tell her who the leak was Henry.

“Okay dear, some of us have things to do.” Betty quickly gets up of her chair and before I can open my mouth again, she’s left the kitchen.  I’m so frustrated at this point. She never finished what she was saying, what does she mean that his obsession started then? What was she going to say? I want to follow her, but then Henry roughly grabs my hand.

“Let sleeping dogs lie,” he states.

I shake my hand free and then as I walk back to my room. I’m completely bewildered as usual.

Was he talking about Betty? Or was he referring to someone else... Hudson maybe?

I know one thing for sure, I’m cooking dinner tonight. I’m going to tell the staff to make sure they use the other kitchen and warn Betty. Tonight is going to be just Roy and I with no disturbances.

T
onight, I’m cooking a special dinner. It’s killing me. I can’t keep ignoring how stressed both he and Betty are about the way things are going with the company, money and their lives. I need to come clean.

“Dinner ready?” he asks as he gives me a quick kiss.

Shit, I never even realized the time. I’ve been too busy thinking about teaching the world and if Roy will be angry when he learns the truth.

“I’m late, sorry.”

“No. No, need to apologise. As long as I’m on a date with my favourite girl, it’s all good. I’m just going to have a quick shower.”

He dashes downstairs into the bathroom and I whip around the kitchen, making sure the lamb and potatoes are ready. I just need to set the table and I’m done. I even bought flowers for the centrepiece as a sweetener in case he dumps me for keeping this a secret.

I’ve kept the truth hidden because I’m sick of the dramas between us. I want to get on with my life and not have us fighting, or me threatening to leave him. The last few days have made such a big difference. We’re discussing moving out and he took me seriously enough to make sure I went out and got some information on some flats.

“This looks great. Special occasion?” Roy asks as he glances at the dining table with the lamb sizzling in its Pyrex dish, surrounded by the potatoes and vegetables. I cook up a good meal, when I can.

I shake my head, unable to open my mouth. I need to tell you something. I slump down as I sit down.

“You sure?”

Damn, why can I not lie to this man?

“You knew about Betty?” I ask trying to change the subject.

“After Stephie’s death, yes I learnt about it when Betty inherited everything.  She completely changed, even turned into Stephie to live up to her legacy.  That’s not the real Betty.  She hated giving up her daughter, but I think in time she’s learning to let it go.”

I nervously take his glass and pour the wine while he speaks, I’m hoping for a distraction.  Anything to make this easier. I start to take the plates and serve him when he says, “Stop, please tell me. You’re making me nervous.”

I decide that there’s only one thing I know for sure, the name of the leak. The other thing that Hudson said was just a pathetic attempt to get me to listen to whatever lies he wanted to feed me. He’s a snake, the worst of its kind. He should have hooked up with Stephie.

Hell yeah, a match made in hell.

There’s only one way to deal with this.

I blurt it out slowly as I carefully look into his eyes, “H-e-n-r-y.”

“Yes, do you want him or something?”

I still can’t get the whole thing complete in my head. Sure, it was out of the blue. Henry, your driver. Your trusted employee for the last ten years has been leaking info to Hudson. There, you have it.

“Your leak to Hudson is Henry,” I reply.

Roy slumps down like I had put a bullet to his head. He shakes his head repeatedly and questions if it is true. Questioning how I know. When I explain to him about Hudson meeting me, he’s disappointed that I never told him sooner. I explain my reasons. His anger turns as the realisation that Hudson was more of a snake than he had ever comprehended.

We don’t finish dinner.

Roy heads out of the kitchen door. I watch him while I feel helpless and guilty about my actions. Before he leaves he gives me on kiss on the forehead. A kiss that he’s done so many times before. A kiss that said I’m forgiven for keeping a secret. He whispers, “That son of a bitch, I’ll make him pay.”

T
he next few weeks fly by. I have my training sessions with Peter and I’ve lost a few more pounds I never knew existed. Every Sunday I visit Grandma and the family. Sometimes they would even come and visit me.

I finally got my results, which meant that I would be starting the Teacher Training Program.

Roy wasn’t keen at first, he liked the idea of having a kept woman. It’s something I need to do for me. Strange, at first I wasn’t keen on teaching, but as the weeks went by and I studied more about it, I knew it was the right decision for me. It’s the path I need to fulfil. Teaching kids there’s more to life and that they can be anything they want to be really appeals to me.

Nothing can stand in my way. Not status, history and most of all not family. Eventually, I want to set-up a program like Stephie did, but definitely not for the same reasons. Mine will be to help the kids, not to have an affair.

I found a flat in Bloomsbury, at first I wanted to stick to our original arrangement, but Roy laid down the law about me paying the bills and said if I was insecure about our relationship, I should save the money and keep it to use if I needed it.

The crazy part is Roy said he will only rent it, but if any time we decide to take our relationship to the next level then he intends to buy. I agreed reluctantly knowing that he would be using his money to buy it. I have nothing to contribute, just my opinion on where we will live.

I’m dating a billionaire. Shit the amount of women that would love to be in my shoes and I’m acting all independent, which at the end of the day I’m far from being able to act anything but independent.

Deborah Withers is not only going to university once in her life, but twice. It’s more than a dream come true and living with a billionaire sometimes I think that’s a dream and I’m going to wake up any minute and it will all be gone. Then, I wake up and see Roy by my side and realize this is exactly where I belong with him by my side.

<oy>>

As I get ready for my big day, six long months of constant turmoil with Deborah, I decide that nothing will stand in our way. No more lies, no more deceit and no more Hudson. I dealt with Henry the old fashion way with a one-to-one confrontation.

Henry’s actions were one of revenge. Stephie had threatened him and used him like a dog. She promised to leak the secret that I knew and had never told a soul. He hated it. He had worked for me for ten years. He claimed the day I married her I started to be poisoned. The day she died, the cure was unleashed and that was Deborah.

He tried to get out of his arrangement with Hudson, but Hudson wouldn’t let him. Until, I dug , with the help of Henry I’d found out his trade secrets, and in exchange he vowed to leave us alone. He had no choice. One thing Hudson values more than life itself is his money.

The money he claimed that we owed him was thousands more than he ever had in his childhood. We had led different lives, but that was my father’s choice. Not mine. It made me sad at times, Hudson was my only living relative and he hated me... hated me for the mistakes of my parents. I still think he’s not mentally stable. How can he be? He wanted Deborah, my money, my business, my life. I’m not saying that I have a bad life. It’s comfortable. Sure, part of it was worked for and the other part was handed down to me on a silver platter. But I won’t apologise for that. Why should I? The decision was never mine. What happened to him and his mother, was my father’s doing, not mine.

Dad was running for public office. There were enough scandals with the other politicians. He didn’t want to be a statistic. They were given a couple of thousand each month after the paternity confirmed that he was, in fact, the father and at times he was given a lot more.

I had to put him in his place, when the first woman that’s meant anything to me, she showed me love that I never knew existed. Deborah’s changed me. I stopped looking at other women. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m every woman’s desire, but I’ve never had a problem getting any woman I wanted.

Not only because of my money, but I’d often been called a classic charmer.  By many women that I’ve dated. I spent years in business school learning how to manipulate every type of characteristic. I even added a few psychological modules to my university degree because the subject fascinated me so much. Maybe it became a bit of an obsession.

As a child, I watched how my mother manipulated my father. She knew that he had affairs, but she ignored them on one condition that he never left the house. It amazed me that she could tolerate such behaviour. That part I could never comprehend as much as I studied psychology, my mother didn’t fall under any psychological condition.

She was just cold hearted. My memories of my childhood never consisted of the hugs and kisses that Deborah receives every time she comes into contact with her grandma and other members of her family. Even her tales about her grandpa are pretty much the same. Tales of love experiences she cherishes and the cold tale of her mother and father.