Belonging Part III (7 page)

He kisses me as I stand up. The curiosity of what his lips feel like next to mine becomes too big, especially in my tipsy state, but I’m beyond that. I wrestle with him as a realisation of what I’m doing with this man, blows my mind.

I’m so annoyed, angry that I end up slapping him across the face, without hesitation and then he holds my hand and tries to kiss me once more. I resist, grab my bag and leave. I rush to the exit and I turn to see if he’s following me. I catch a glimpse of him and for some reason I notice that he has the biggest smirk on his face. He knows that he could have me if he really wanted. He’s hardly tried and was able to kiss me without any resistance. Sure, I slapped him, but it was pathetic.

As I pass the exit doors. Roy rushes toward me as if he’s going to put out a fire.

“I’ve been calling you like crazy. You okay? You hurt? I was about to—”

I cut him short. Looking him deep in the eyes and treating him like a man that should be on death row but somehow manages to deceive everyone including the jury that he’s innocent, I shout, “Hudson.” I set myself free and watch the confusion on his face as I leave him stranded.

I’m not falling for that innocent look.

I’m not giving you a chance to talk your way out of this.

I have only one place to go, to the information desk to try and book a flight out of this hell.

R
oy catches up to me and he’s full of excuses as Hudson leaves the exit and greets him. I ignore them both. I’m not part of this game, play it yourselves and leave me out of it. I can hardly hear him. I’m pathetic and wish that I hadn’t been taken in by his charms, the charms of a man named Hudson. Roy in his desperation is trying to prevent me from booking a ticket. It’s clear that I’m leaving as I pay the cashier and she gives me my ticket.

He follows me all the way to the check-in desk. At times, trying to stop me and other times blocking me from moving forward by standing right in front of me. I manage to resist and feel proud of my achievement. As I check-in and give my details, I have one word to say to him, one thing that’s been flowing in my mind and that’s, “Bye.”

He looks so deflated as he realises that he’s lost the battle. I make my way through security. I catch sight of Hudson waving his hand in the air victoriously. Roy runs over and punches him. There’s commotion in the airport. For a moment I hesitate, wanting to rescue Roy. Then, memories flood back of how he’s treated me and I start making my way out of the airport.  The sooner I’m out of Roy Sparks’ life, the better for me.

***

I
stop at security then passport control. A café catches my eye and I stop for a shot of expresso. As the strong coffee runs down my throat and the aroma floods my nose, it awakens me. In my right mind now I think, you can do this, you really can, as I arrive at the gate. I’m relieved to not see either Roy or Hudson while I take my seat on the plane.

Then, the unthinkable happens, he walks in all ruffled up and in a mess. His eyes are bloodshot as he sits next to me in economy class. Seriously, he could have sat somewhere else or even better not got on the plane at all.

I can’t take my eyes from him as he pants and shakes his head. Everyone stares as if he’s a deranged beast. What is it with me and airplane seats? Do they have to save the space next to me, for the last person I don’t want to be sitting next to?

I mumble under my breath and stare at the person next to me. I’m in the middle, I feel like a piece of ham in the middle of a sandwich. When it’s obvious the man next to me, finds my breasts too irresistible to keep his eyes off of. And to my left is Roy who obviously isn’t going to let me go without a fight.

“I attended two meetings, we’ve lost so much money recently that I needed to make sure all allies were firmly tight.  The company can’t afford to lose any more money.  I’ve been in a fight. Managed to stop myself getting arrested and I’m sitting next to you. I’m not letting you go Deborah Withers... ever again. Don’t you forget it!”

I sit speechless.

The man to my right pretends not to hear. With Roy’s speech, he moves his eyes from my chest and out of the window. At least he has sense.

The way Roy’s acting, if he doesn’t shift his eyes, he’ll probably punch him too!

Roy takes my hand and holds it so tight. I rest my head on the back of the chair refusing to look at him and denying showing any affection to his black eye and bloody lip. It didn’t last long as I feel the softness of his fingers caress my hand and I turn toward him and use a tissue to stop his lip dropping any more blood. He looks like a stray animal as his eyes have tears in them.

Deborah, why oh why? Not again.

I repeat to myself so many times as I start to kiss his lips and then his eye. Maybe, I was too hasty. Maybe, I should give him another chance.

A
s the plane takes off, between the fight and the whole commotion I fall asleep. I don’t like Hudson I think to myself. He’s not a man to mess around with. He sought after me. He knew who I was and played me. The only question to run through my head is, ‘Why?’

I wake up to find Roy is still sitting in economy next to me. Obviously he’s not used to it and is unable to stretch his long legs. I’ve put him down a peg or two. He isn’t in his usual suits but in jeans and a cream shirt, but he still looks hot. He rarely dresses down.

I can’t help but ask, “How come no suit?”

He looks at me, possibly surprised that I am awake or that I am speaking to him.

“I changed my meetings, when you were coming.”

“But, you said you had two meetings?”

Did he not say he had two meetings? What is he on about?

“Yes, I had. Not anymore.”

That’s a clear sign for ‘we’ll talk about it later’.

He moves his focus from me to the roof of the plane as he closes his eyes. I stare at his ripped shirt. The great Roy Sparks normally in a suit, so fresh and composed. I don’t know this roughed up man sitting next to me holding my hand. I don’t know him, at all.

***

H
e leads me off the plane like a little girl. No questions asked and if they were, he’s in no mood to answer them. I can sense that I’ve blown his tolerance level. I’d acted immaturely. Maybe Hudson being on the flight was more of a coincidence or has Hudson set it up? I only told Roy that I wanted to come, he never invited me. So, why would he make sure that I bumped into Hudson?

He gets up to go to the toilet. I wait as I start to bite my nails. I half expect to see Hudson for another match. He comes back with a new shirt and he has generally tidied himself up. I say nothing as he carries our bags out of the terminal and into the car.

Henry, his devoted driver is waiting for us as usual. He greets me with the usual lifeless stare and doesn’t say a word to Roy. It’s twelve in the afternoon and so far I’ve been to Paris and back in one morning.  I was dying to go there and I never even got past the airport. I’ve had one too many to drink and Roy’s been in a fight. What for, I’m unclear. Were they really fighting over me?

He never looks at me. Simply holds my hand every time we have to move. First from the plane to the terminal and he only time he let go was when he went to the toilet on the plane. I’m tired and tipsy. As soon as I hit the limo seat I fall asleep. I’m tired of the silence and possibly tired of him.

“D
eborah, we’re at the house, wake up.”

I don’t want to wake because we are going to talk. I squeeze my eyes shut and pretend I’m in Paris on the Eiffel Tower being proposed to by Roy. Yes, that’s what’s really happening. We make love in my mind so many ways and each time it’s better than the last. I hear Roy’s car door open and shut. Then I know it’s my cue to go into the house. Great!

As I enter Betty has a face of disappointment as she brushes past us. She doesn’t greet us like she normally does. I’m relieved that she merely looks at me and says nothing. He grabs my hand and takes us down to our room. Holding my hand, firmly and tightly. Fear starts to crawl into my spine as he breathes frantically.

Shit, he’s mad!

My fears are confirmed as he slams the door shut. He holds me tight and he’s talking, but it feels like a dragon puffing fire. ”I’m going to fuck some sense into you.”

He tugs at my dress, ripping it as if he’s reliving the fight with Hudson. I whisper, “No,” as he does it, but it’s weak, faint and pathetic. My heart’s racing, my stomach’s turning from drinking so much early in the morning and my heart is aching for him.

I was kidding myself to think otherwise. That I could walk out of the door and never look back. Every seam of my dress is torn, every piece of the polyester dress looks like broken glass splintered all over the floor. He treads on it as if he’s making a statement loud and clear. I wore this dress for him. I thought it was beautiful and now he is defacing it. Ripping it apart. My weak hands are trying to defend me.

I hate it.

No, I hate him.

“Don’t!” He shouts while he holds my breasts in his hands like they are melons and his fingernails are the knife that is to cut out the juice. He does the same with my bra, shreds off me with such force. He wants me to be scared, but it has the opposite effect. I’m not frightened, fear finds a way out of my heart, the moment I look at the red velvet carpet and see my dress ripped to shreds – it turns me on.

I want him to fuck some sense into me.

Oh yeah, this is a whole new level.

He does the same thing with my thongs. I stand with my knees shaking at his every move. Every slash, I want to oppose before I even get the chance he’s finished and then I need him to finish me off.

I push him against the door and I envelope his mouth with my mouth. I’m hot and ready for him to fuck me senseless. He doesn’t want me to take control so he swaps sides and has me on the door with my breasts bouncing up and down like jelly.

Our tongues injecting each other’s mouths with urgency. My hands in his hair feeling the heat flowing from his head to his feet. I’m sweating, engaging in his heat as well as mine. He releases his cock and I lift up my legs and wrap them around him like a bow around a gift.

His dick is mine and mine to use as I please, when I want and that is right now. Right here and now, he will pump me because I am his. He knows that I need him and only he can pleasure me.

He bashes his hips against mine. Roughly. Forcibly. He’s not concerned about how I feel he just wants me and he takes me. The harder he thrusts against me, the more I cry out. This is no longer pleasure, it’s turning into pain. I scream in agony and the more I cry out, the harder he pumps into me. He doesn’t even take his cock out, he just pushes it inside me deeper and deeper.

“Roy, please!” I cry as I try to squirm out of his grip like a worm. He has no intention of being gentle.

“This is what happens when you defy me.”

I yell harder, hoping the staff will at least come to my rescue. No one will interfere. Everyone will turn a blind eye to what is going on. They always do. The privacy of the Sparks was like the best-kept secret in the world. He knows it and he takes full advantage of me.

His rhythm is louder and harder and I can hear our bones banging against each other. As my screeches increase, he forces his tongue inside my mouth to keep me quiet and then he holds my tongue. He sucks it up like a hoover and holds on to it until he shoots up inside me like a lethal injection.

He shivers and drops me. I plummet to the ground and cry. He looks at me like I am the most despicable thing in the world and says, “Don’t you ever do that to me again.”

I don’t even need to ask him what I’d done. I had believed someone’s word over his and he refused to let me go. I was his, trapped in my mind, body and soul. He wants me to never to forget it and he gave me a taste of how he will punish me for doing so.

“C
ome, lay with me.”

I get up from the floor with the remnants of my ripped clothing and join him on the bed. He’s lying down naked, after washing himself off in the bathroom. I do the same, I’m very sore. A little relieved but still in a bit of pain. He turns around for a brief moment so I can see the scares on his back.  “Look what you did! Come.”

The idea that I crawled him and it hurt the way it should have done, makes me feel that at least he got a little taste of his own medicine.

I approach the bed slowly debating whether to sit or just get the fuck out of here. Shit, he hurt me so much. My body is aching from when he took me. I can still feel my pussy throbbing from the force.

“You made me cry!” he blurts out as he looks up at me. He stares at me directly in the eyes and the words bounce of my ears.

“You practically forced yourself  on me!”

He shakes his head in denial, “If I did you wouldn’t be lying on the bed.”

I was laying on the other side of the bed as far away from him as possible. Which was silly in the grand scheme of things.

“I was rough. You hurt me. I needed you to know what it felt like.” He moves closer to me. I keep my eyes on him trying not show any emotion as he’s only a heartbeat from me. He starts to put my lose hair strands in place behind my ears like he does whenever he’s next to me. My hair’s a bit coarse especially when it’s not blow dried, being mixed race it still has a bit of the African kink in it. Especially now, it looks wild. Instead, Roy is looking at me like a tamed animal. Someone he wants to calm down. As he kisses my forehead I close my eyes. I can’t open them, when he’s just a few millimetres away from my lips.

“I’m standing there waiting for you, excited about our plans... our plans for the weekend. I had two meetings, I had them early so that when you came I could spend time with you. I was like an excited kid about spending time with you, I couldn’t even focus in the meetings.”

He kisses my lips and I keep my eyes closed. To digest what he’s saying and not be mesmerized by his emerald eyes staring into mine.

“I get a text from Hudson. He sent a photo of you, in the dress.” I thought he was looking at something on his phone. I noticed when he put the phone up, but didn’t realise.
The sneaky bastard, the sneaky little shit.
He kisses my lips again. “I started to get pissed and paranoid. You with him. Drinking. I was going wild, waiting and waiting.” He brushed his lips against mine.