Between Now and Goodbye (32 page)

'I realize that, but I really need to talk to him.' I say firmly, 'Would you kindly tell him it's in relation to Elizabeth.'

'And who is Elizabeth?'

'He'll know, please, just tell him that there's a girl on the line who wants to talk about Elizabeth.'

'Ok.' She sighs and puts me on hold. I hold my breath and hope like crazy that she'll let me talk to him. I hope that the name Elizabeth is enough for him to take my call.

It feels like ages before the line reconnects, but when it does, it's a deep voice which speaks.

'This is Duncan Vine, I understand you have some information for me.'

'Yes, hi...wow.' I stop myself, I need to sound like I'm in control, not like an excited schoolgirl who's playing a prank, 'Yes sir I do have information. It's about Elizabeth.'

'Elizabeth?' His voice holds a question, but it's also softer, hopeful and my heart leaps. I know that I've done the right thing.

'Your daughter.' I say.

'What do you know about Elizabeth?' The hope is there again, in the quickness of his voice.

'I'm her best friend,' I reply, 'I met her two years ago when she moved to my town, and recently I've been trying to track you down, and I found you.'

'Is she ok? Has something happened?' His words come out even quicker, and his voice gets higher.

'She's fine.' I say quickly, 'Nothing has happened, but I wanted to find you because I couldn't stand the idea of her being without a father.'

'I've been trying to find her...I just couldn't and then I figured that she probably didn't want to know me. I've...made some mistakes.'

'Everyone makes mistakes,' I say thinking about the start of this summer, and burning down my father's office building, 'but everyone deserves a second chance.'

'Is she happy?' He asks, 'Elizabeth and Pippa, are they both happy?'

'Yes,' I smile, 'they're happy. Elizabeth, she goes by Libby now and her mom...she's remarried.'

'Oh.' He says quietly, 'I always thought she probably would remarry, and...is she happy?'

'Yes.' I wonder how badly it hurts him to know that his family is happy without him. 'Listen, I know you probably want to get in touch with her...them.'

'Yes,' he says it again so quickly that my heart leaps. It's such a bittersweet situation, because he's finally found his daughters, but they have this whole other family, 'I really do.'

'Well, I can help,' I smile, 'She goes by Libby Reid now, and she's living in Carver Beach, North Carolina.' I give him her phone number and address as well.

'Does she know that you've contacted me?' He asks.

'No, I wanted it to be a surprise.' I reply. 'I thought that you'd like to contact her first.'

'I would, thank you for thinking of that.' He says softly, 'I've got some leave due, so I can fly out.'

'I'm sure she'll be so happy to see you.' I beam.

'I hope so, I really hope so.' He says quietly and then we say our goodbyes, he thanks me again and then we end our conversation.

I lower the phone and smile broadly. In just one phone call I've started the wheel in motion to fix Libby's relationship with her father. Now Libby will have to see that I'm not selfish.

Forty – Libby

I can do this. I can totally do this, I mean I'm not that great of a catch so it's not like Colin's going to be crushed that I'm turning him down. He'll move on and find another girl that he likes. It's far better that I tell him now, rather than leaving him hanging thinking there's hope.

Still, as I pause outside the café where I've arranged to meet him, it's shockingly tempting to turn before he sees me and run back home. I could go back to Charles' and beg for his help again, though the last time I did that just an hour ago it got...weird. I still don't know how we ended up standing so close together. Did he move or did I? Was it both of us? What does it mean that we ended up standing so close?

I shake my head. I need to focus on the task at hand. It didn't mean anything, it was just a momentary weirdness that didn't mean anything. It couldn't have meant anything, because that would pretty much be the definition of crazy. We just got way into the roles and ended up moving around. Not a big deal. What is a big deal is what I'm about to do.

I can see Colin inside, already waiting. My heart sinks as I see the happy, hopeful look on his face. I've never had to turn someone down before. I've only ever been asked out once, and we went on a couple of dates and then both decided that it wasn't going well. I hadn't expected that the next person to ask me out, would be someone I wasn't interested in being more than friends with.

I take a deep breath and push the door open. An annoying ringing announces my presence and Colin's head snaps towards the door. I don't have any more time to prepare. This is it.

I could quite happily reach up and rip the bell off the top of the door, for robbing me of those vital last seconds of preparation, but instead of doing that, I fix what I hope is a friendly smile on my face and head over to sit across from him.

'Hey.' He's nervous and happy and it tugs at my heart. It would be so much easier if I felt the same way about him. I just don't. 'I ordered you a coffee.' He pushes a mug towards me.

'Thank you.' I smile and cup my hands around the mug, even though it's too warm in here already, and the hot mug burns my hands. I just need something to hold onto to stop my hands from shaking so badly.

'So...' He trails off and smiles again. This is going to be painful.

'Colin,' I really hope this goes better than it did when I practiced with Charles. Of course now I have a table between me and Colin, so I can't randomly gravitate towards him. 'Firstly, I want to apologize. I ran off when I really shouldn't have.'

'It's ok.' He shrugs, 'I did sort of spring it on you.'

'Yeah, I was a bit... taken back by it.'

'I'm sorry,' he blushes, 'I had it all planned out how I was going to ask you out, and I promise it didn't involve me blurting it out in the middle of you saying something.'

'It's ok.' I sip my coffee. It's too hot, too bitter and just a little too strong, which is saying something with for me to be saying it's too strong.

'I just want you to know, I meant what I said.' He says, meeting my eyes, 'I really like you Libby. I think you're beautiful and smart, funny and...'

'Colin...' I try to stop him.

'I know you don't like being complimented, but it's true. I think you're amazing, I have for a really long time and...I've been trying to work up the nerve to ask you out.'

'Colin that's really sweet...' I begin. If I thought Charles was making it difficult when he was pretending, it's nothing compared to this.

'I know I'm a bit of a goof sometimes, but I think I could make a good boyfriend.'

'I'm sure you would.'

'Does that mean...is that a yes?' He asks. Oh no. This isn't how it was supposed to go. I'm meant to be letting him down easily, not leading him on and giving him false hope.

'Colin I'm really flattered, and I think that you're a great guy. It's just that...I don't really see us together as a couple.'

'Oh.' His gaze drops. 'You don't like me?'

'I do.' I say hurriedly. 'I just don't like you in that way. I like you as a friend and I don't want to lose that, you're great, but I don't feel anything more than friendship...'

'But maybe you could?' He asks.

'No.' I smile apologetically, 'I'm really sorry Colin, but I just don't feel the same way.'

'It's ok.' He shrugs, 'You can't help not liking me that way.'

'I really am sorry, I don't want to hurt you.'

'I'll be fine.' He smiles, his shoulders drooping. 'I suppose it was a little much to ask, thinking a girl like you would like me.'

'A girl like me?'

'Someone so...amazing.'

'Colin,' I smile at him, 'you'll find an amazing girl who will like you back.'

'Just not you?'

'Yeah, just not me.' I smile at him again, 'Friends?'

'Yeah.' He nods, 'Friends.'

Two days after I turned Colin down, I'm home alone working on a new recipe that I've thought up. It's a dessert that I plan on taking to Julie
's place, in a hope that sweet treats can make her spend some time with me again.

She's been awkward this summer, but if my friendship with Colin can survive the extreme awkwardness of two days ago, which it seems to of, then I'm sure that my friendship with Julie can survive the fights we've had this summer.

We haven't even had a big blow out fight. Not this time anyway, I just didn't like the way she was treating Charles, but all of that is better now, because she went to him and asked him to take her back, he said no, and they're all moving on. Still, I feel like I somehow have something to apologize for, hence the dessert that I'm working on at the moment.

In my experience, apologies are always better when accompanied by sweet things, especially home made sweet things.

I've been working on this recipe for the past three hours now, and I've gone through two test batches, both of which I wasn't entirely happy with, but Pippa and Matt ate before they went out. I've saved some for my mom for when she gets in from work, but I'm still working on the perfect batch for Julie.

It's a French inspired dessert, which I figure is appropriate since she's headed off to France in the fall. I still haven't quite got my head around the fact that she'll be leaving.

Colorado was one thing, but France is totally different. She probably won't even come home during many of the holidays, and if she does, she'll spend most of that time with her parents.

I honestly thought that she'd be able to talk her parents out of the whole boarding school idea. Her persuasion skills are second to none, hence why I'm standing in my kitchen in Carver Beach, rather than in a classroom learning about cookery in New York City.

I've kept in touch with my roommate Natalie, who still believes that I'm completely crazy for giving up my spot and returning home. In a weird way though, I'm happy that I did come home. I would have loved the camp, I'm sure of that, but being here at home with my family and Charles. It makes me happy, and if I can just fix things between me and Julie, then it'll be perfect.

With that in mind, I pull the stove door open, and carefully lift out the tray filled with the delicate French biscuits which will form one layer of the multi layered dessert. I place the tray down on the top of the stove, put the dishcloth to one side, and pick one of the biscuits up. When I snap it in two, it makes a satisfying snapping sound. It's wafer thin just like it's supposed to be, and when I put it in my mouth to test it out, it's sweet and the perfect balance of moist and crunchy.

I transfer them from the tray onto a cooling rack, and I'm about to start on my next layer, when the doorbell rings.

I brush my hair back from my hot face, check that I don't have any flour on my hands, and then head out into the hall.

I'm hoping that it'll be Julie, because I sent her a message earlier saying that I really wanted to talk. To fix things. So I'm hoping that even though I haven't heard back from her, she might be the one at the door.

I open it up, and it's not her. It's a tall man in a dark blue suit, with light golden hair, which is touched with a little gray in several places. He has his back to me, looking towards the car which is parked outside my house. I assume it's his.

'Can I help?' I ask. He turns at the sound of my voice and my stomach twists. My heart picks up speed and the corners of my vision go black. Nausea sweeps over me and I feel like I'm going to throw up, or pass out, or possibly both.

'Elizabeth.' He says calmly, and reaches out to me. His hand curls around my wrist, but I pull it back and then slam the door shut in his face. 'Elizabeth please.' He calls. His voice rings in my ears as I slide the lock into place. He starts banging on the door, calling me.

This is wrong. This is so wrong.

I run into the kitchen, closing the back door and locking it. Then I close all of the windows and make sure they're locked as well. My heart pounds as I move through the house, forgetting the dessert as I run up to my bedroom.

Phone. I need to find my phone. I look around in a panic as the doorbell continues to ring, and he continues to bang the door. Calling my name, or what used to be my name.

Finally, I find my phone plugged into the mains. I pick it up with shaking hands and send a quick message to Pippa and my mom.

Dad's here. Don't come back to the house.

I write it quickly, and I'm about to write more when the banging gets louder. I barely manage to hit send before I drop the phone. I shriek and look around me. My eyes land on the window which is open just like it always is in the summertime. I pull myself through it quickly, reassured by the fact that you can't see people on the roof from the front door. Still, I keep low and crawl quietly towards Charles' window. Thankfully, it's open as well, and I drop down into his room.