Beyond Chance (14 page)

Aaron gave me a wry smile and picked a
chocolate macaroon out of the box, closing the lid. “I say eat the
extra macaroons. Who cares if we fit in the elevator? There’s also
the stairs we can take to our floor.”

I took a bite of the macaroon and lemon
melted in my mouth. Aaron was right. This was the best flavor out
of the bunch. I eyed the box of treats as he slid it into the paper
bag and wondered if I should stop him to get one more…

“You’ve been pretty quiet,” Aaron said,
dropping the box the rest of the way in the bag.

I drew in a deep breath and glanced around
the park packed full of couples and families wandering the grounds.
The gardens were in full bloom, and the lawns so perfectly
manicured there were chains to keep people off them. “I really like
it over here. The people are so friendly, and it’s a million miles
away from reality.”

“This is reality. This is our reality,”
Aaron said. His eyes steadied on mine, and I felt that energized
current run between us.

I understood what he was saying, but I
honestly felt like recently I’d been living in a fog. The only
moments of clarity seemed to happen in Aaron’s arms.

I shook my head. “I feel horrible about how
things are turning out. I’m over here sitting in a park, eating
macaroons, while the press is harassing my family. That should be
my reality. I feel like a complete coward.”

Aaron rested his hand on mine, but he didn’t
say anything for a few seconds. He didn’t need to. I saw it in his
eyes. He recognized something I hadn’t wanted to admit. I was
broken, and I wasn’t sure if I could be fixed. Everything I held
dear and worked for my entire life had been stripped away from me.
The drive and determination I’d always cherished vanished the
moment I awoke in the hospital bed. I had always been enamored with
law. Rather than play house with my friends, I wanted to play
courtroom. My entire life had been built around getting into law
school and finishing law school. Now I didn’t care if I ever
stepped into the law library again.

“You’re not a coward, but I know me telling
you that won’t change your mind. Nothing will change your mind
except your own will.”

The gloom hummed between us as I thought
about the empty shell of a person I’d become. I’d hid it from my
friends as best I could, but Aaron knew better. He saw my
frustration when my leg gave out, or when I got tired of trying to
convince myself that everything I thought I wanted, no longer
seemed important.

“I’m tired of pretending that everything is
going to be okay.” I leaned back in the chair and went silent as a
couple walked behind us, waiting until they were out of earshot
before I continued. “What if it’s not? What if Derek’s not found
guilty? What if he gets off? What if what I’ve worked toward my
entire life doesn’t interest me any longer? What if I just don’t
care?”

“I don’t believe that you don’t care.”

“What if I don’t want to go back?” My
shoulders slumped at my admission.

Aaron shook his head and leaned forward,
balancing his elbows on his knees, as he chose his words carefully.
“Sometimes life’s choices and unknowns seem endless, don’t
they?”

I nodded, wishing I wasn’t in this chair.
The entire park was dotted with chairs. There wasn’t one bench that
I could spot, and all I wanted was to be curled next to Aaron. I
needed the comfort he offered.

“Your mind is rattling around all kinds of
scenarios, and it’s distracting you from what is important. I know.
I’ve been there. You manage to spin every possibility into a
worst-case scenario. It’s exhausting. The clutter is absolutely
overwhelming.”

“It is wearing. It makes life draining,” I
hesitated.

“There’s something else you’re not sharing…”
he prodded.

I chewed on my lip for a second before
answering. How did I bring this up without sounding like a crazy,
jealous girlfriend?

Aaron’s gaze was sprinkled with hesitation
as he continued to silently watch me. I heard the cheerful laughter
echo through the air, and sounds of the carnival behind us as I
tried to center myself in this moment.

“It’s so easy to get lost in the emotion of
everything,” I sighed.

“It is.” His voice was uncertain of the
direction I was heading, and that only made me more nervous about
bringing up my concerns. Aaron was several years older than me, and
I never wanted to seem petty, but I’d been unsettled ever since
seeing Aaron with Elizabeth.

“Why did you meet with Elizabeth?” I held in
my breath as I waited for his answer.

“I wasn’t happy finding out she’d snuck
behind my back and talked to my girlfriend.”

I let out the air I’d been holding in, but I
didn’t feel any better after hearing his answer.

“Couldn’t you have called her on the
phone?”

“I did, but she wanted to meet in person,
and I didn’t feel like going back to the apartment.” His gaze
stayed fixed on mine as I debated whether or not to press for more
information surrounding their relationship.

I found myself nervously sucking my lip, but
I didn’t proceed. I simply sat there stewing.

“What else is bothering you? I can tell
there’s more.” His brow arched slightly, and he folded his arms on
his chest.

“Is there a reason other than business that
you talk with her almost daily?” I questioned, watching his jaw
tense slightly. “I mean that seems kind of excessive. What is it
that she needs that much help with, and why have I never stumbled
in on you speaking with her?”

Aaron sat silent and stone-faced as the
words tumbled out of my mouth. Between the trial and this
development, it was hard to even figure out what was actually
bothering me in a typical day. An hour ago, I was plagued by the
looming trial, but at this particular second, I’d say the Elizabeth
matter was most unnerving, particularly because she was here in
Paris.

“The whole secrecy thing isn’t sitting well
with me. I thought I was fine with your explanations, but sometimes
I’m slower on the uptake than I realize. Sometimes I need a day or
two for things to soak in before I tackle them, but I’ll get
there.”

Aaron sniffed in and scratched his face
without saying a word.

“Something seems off. And she’s in Paris of
all places?” I studied his expression as I waited for his reply. He
looked disappointed in something. I wasn’t sure if it was my
assessment or how the afternoon was turning out. So far I’d been
striking out in Paris.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. I
feel like it’s a trap. Anything I say will be wrong.” He shifted in
the seat and crossed his leg.

“I’m insulted at the implication. I’ve never
been someone who’s paranoid or sets traps for you to fall in. I
have a legitimate concern. I don’t think you’d be thrilled if all
of a sudden you ran into an ex-boyfriend of mine who you found out
I spoke with on a daily basis. It wouldn’t matter if I called him a
study partner or a business partner, I’m sure it wouldn’t fly.”

“I wouldn’t have a problem with it.”

“That is complete baloney.”

A flicker of amusement pulsed through his
expression and I didn’t let it get to me. This was a serious
discussion, and I wasn’t going to be swayed with his ridiculously
charming ability to distract me. After all, I was the one who ran
into Elizabeth ogling at Aaron through the window. That was just
another memory I tried to sidestep.

“Baloney?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Don’t try to change the
subject. You wouldn’t be fine with it, but this discussion isn’t
about me, it’s about you. What’s with the daily phone calls?”

The knowledge that Aaron was chatting away
daily with another woman was a painful revelation. One I hoped he
would clear up, but his silence only added to the heaviness in my
heart as he looked on. Seeing that we were getting nowhere, I tried
again.

“Do you two only discuss business?” I hated
that I was doing this, but there was an unease driving me
forward.

“No, of course not. I’m sure personal facts
enter into our discussions as well.”

I steadied my breathing and tried not to
explode. I didn’t like the clipped responses I was receiving from
Aaron. This wasn’t like him. No, that wasn’t true. This was like
the old Aaron. I thought we’d moved past this.

“What is her business? What is it in life
that makes her so unsure that she needs to have her hand held?”

“It’s not like that.”

Wrong answer.

“Then why don’t you tell me what it is
like?” My brows furrowed and the macaroons churned in my stomach.
How did I manage to get an absolutely lovely afternoon so twisted
into something like this? Was it nerves? Was I overreacting because
of all the stress?

“She has low self-esteem. She made some bad
choices in the beginning that cost us both quite a bit of money,
and since then, she likes to run things by me.”

Not good enough.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but
maybe she’s not cut out to run a business. Shit happens. There’s
always risk and if her personality is too sensitive to bounce back
then maybe it’s too much.”

Aaron grinned and shook his head. “Is that
so?”

“It is so.”

“Well, not everyone has been as fortunate as
you to know what they’ve wanted to do since they were in
kindergarten.” He was still grinning, and I got the distinct
feeling that he enjoyed this discussion a little too much.

“You’ll be happy to know that I have no idea
what I want to do with my life.”

“That doesn’t make me happy at all,” he
countered.

“All I’m saying is that my intuition tells
me that there’s more to Elizabeth’s calls than you realize.”

“I doubt that very much.”

I snickered and threw my head back. He was
being so dense. He was one of the most attractive men I’d ever laid
eyes on, and somehow he seemed to think that women wouldn’t think
up reasons to stay in his periphery? I needed to try a new
technique.

I leaned forward and began my assault.

“Did she know about me before my
accident?”

“Absolutely.”

“Did you talk to her while I was in the
hospital?”

“I did.”

“Did she know I moved in with you during my
recovery?”

“Of course.”

“Did she know you were leaving for
China?”

“Yes.”

“Did she know you’d be leaving me
behind?”

“She did.”

“Did she try to talk you out of it?”

“No.”

“Did she try to talk you into it?”

“I don’t know. I never really thought about
it.”

“I think it would be a mighty good idea if
you thought about it now.”

I sat back in the chair and smiled as the
realization slowly came to him, but I also saw the stubborn side of
Aaron emerge.

“That doesn’t necessarily mean what you
think it does,” he replied.

“I won’t argue that.” I smiled and looked
across the lawn before turning my attention back to him. “But we
both know I’m right. So what’s her business?”

He let out a deep sigh, and I knew this was
about to get good.

“She has a patent on an eyelash curler.”

“And has it taken the beauty industry by
storm?” I quirked a brow.

“It’s done quite well.”

“And you’re the expert on curling eyelashes
because…”

“Business is business.”

“I’ll give you that, but going with that
principle, I’d say that business is not for her if you’re holding
her hand every step of the way. There’ll come a point when having a
good product won’t be enough. Competitors who know how they want to
run their business will run her over.”

“I don’t disagree.”

“You don’t?”

“I don’t. I’ve tried to explain that to her
many times. My belief is that she should sell the company while
it’s profitable.”

“That makes two of us. So what on earth
would make her want to keep a business she isn’t capable of running
on her own?” I put my finger to my mouth and looked toward the
sky.

“I hear your message loud and clear,
Brandy.” He couldn’t help but smile as I brought my gaze back to
his. “But it’s not that simple.”

“I’m going to be straight with you. What is
simple is that I don’t feel comfortable with the fact that you
speak to a woman on an almost daily basis who has known things
before even I did, like your move to China, and shares a pretty
intense history with you.”

He stretched out his legs and linked his
hands behind his head. “I see where you’re coming from.”

“I wish you saw it before I had to explain
it to you.”

He nodded and furrowed his brow. “I’m still
trying to get this relationship thing down. I wouldn’t do something
to intentionally hurt you. That’s the last thing I’d ever want to
do.”

“I’m not saying these things because I don’t
trust you. I trust you with my life.”

“I know.”

“But I’ve got to ask. What on earth is she
doing in Paris?”

He shook his head and groaned. “She’s
launching the product in several boutiques throughout the
region.”

“How fitting. I’m just glad the irony isn’t
lost on you.” I smiled.

“You said something that bothered me.”

“Only one thing?”

Aaron laughed and nodded. “Yes. Only one
thing, but it’s a pretty big thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Your uncertainty for going after the things
you used to want…”

I craned my neck and remained quiet.

Aaron stood up and helped me to my feet. “So
how about we walk along the promenade, and we work through each of
those thoughts that are shaking you up. We can get to the bottom of
things.”

I snatched the bag of macaroons from the
ground and slipped my arm around his waist. Aaron kissed the top of
my head, and we began walking along the statue-lined promenade.

“I think that sounds like a lovely
idea.”