Beyond Chance (15 page)

“So the way I see it, there aren’t that many
possibilities for your life choices to go up in smoke. The odds are
in your favor, really. They always are.” Aaron smiled as we stopped
to look at the beautiful statue of Bathild. The dress wrapped
gracefully around the woman’s figure as she stared straight ahead,
daring the future to unveil itself, and I wondered if I’d ever get
that look of determination back again.

“You’re probably right,” I confessed.

“I know I am. Let’s break it down. What
concerns you about your future?”

“You’re using my tricks against me?”

His laughter echoed through the air, and I
couldn’t help but love Aaron even more for caring. “So let’s have
it.”

“Not knowing what I want out of life…Always
being scared…Fearful of what the future holds or doesn’t hold.”

“Fair enough. Let’s strip away some of the
things you have no control over.”

“Like what in particular?” I asked, turning
to face Aaron.

“The trial. It’s out of your hands. The
press. You have no control over their spin on the story. So let’s
imagine your life before the accident. Before all of these things
that were out of your control began to warp your view of
reality.”

I twisted my lips and stared into his dark
eyes, but I wasn’t able to imagine what he was asking of me.

“Okay. This isn’t working. Will you do me a
favor?” he asked.

I nodded and smiled as he moved me forward.
His hands didn’t leave my arms as he gave me the first of many
instructions. “Okay. Close your eyes and take a deep breath
in.”

The warm air filled my lungs as I listened
to Aaron. Just the tenor of his voice made me want to melt in his
arms, but I remained focused on what he was telling me.

“Do you remember that very first time we
were alone?” His voice lowered, and my body reacted unexpectedly to
his tone. I didn’t know how this was relevant, but I also didn’t
care as my mind took me to another time, one that was charged with
the unknown and filled with excitement for the unfamiliar.

“The elevator?” I asked, my voice hoarse.
“Back at the office.”

He moved closer, and I felt the heat from
his body, but the space between us allowed for something more to
develop.

“Yes. It was the morning after I met you at
Carla’s gala. I stepped into the elevator, and the woman who I’d
been dreaming about all night was right in front of me. All I
wanted to do was slam you up against the wall, and well, I guess
you can imagine the rest. But then you opened your mouth.”

I chuckled at his admission.

“And pretended not to remember my name,” he
continued. “Do you know what that does to a guy like me?”

“Who said I was pretending?” The feelings of
pure electricity ravaged my body as I thought back to that first
time Aaron and I ran into each other. “And can I open my eyes?”

Bringing his lips close to my ear, he
whispered, “Keep them shut.”

My body trembled as his breath rolled off my
skin and he continued. “Do you remember our coffee together that
morning?”

“How could I forget? You were arrogant and
assumed I’d fall at your feet.” My mind flashed back to that
morning and the intensity in his eyes, knowing full well what he
did to me.

What he still does to me.

“And was I right?”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Do you remember how determined you were to
fight the feelings that we had for each other?”

I nodded.

“But we couldn’t control what we felt for
each other, could we?”

Unable to speak, I shook my head and waited
for him to continue.

“The highest high I’d ever had was holding
you in my arms, and the lowest low I’d felt was when I let you slip
away. But those emotions were unlike any other I’d ever felt
because I knew I had to have you. I knew I was making the wrong
choice, yet I still made it. I left for China. But at least I
allowed myself to feel. I allowed myself to be guided by emotion.
Remember being at your brothers’ lake house?”

I smiled as warmth spread through my body.
“How could I forget?”

“When you held me while we were on the Jet
Ski, I almost lost my mind. No woman had ever sent me over the edge
like you did.”

“Is that so?”

“Very much so.”

“It was so exhilarating. I can still feel
that rush. Being with you is like being on the Jet Ski,” I
confessed.

Aaron laughed and his fingers slid into my
hair. Before I had a chance to open my eyes, his lips touched down
to mine, and my mind began to spin as all the emotions that had
carried me forward were working their way back into my life.
Aaron’s kisses deepened as our memories moved me in the right
direction, allowing me to remember what it was like before the
accident. Before uncertainty became my best friend.

Aaron’s lips slowly drew away from mine, but
his hand continued to cup my chin as I opened my eyes.

“One thing I know about you is that you’ll
never do something you don’t want to do. You’ve always managed to
make the right decisions, but now that there are so many unknowns
in your life, you’re frozen. You’re scared to make the wrong
decision so you make no decision. I know I’m the king of avoidance,
but it’s not your style. You’re trying to adopt a way of existing
that really isn’t you.”

“How do you know?”

“I remember the fight you had when you woke
up in the hospital. You wanted to get right back into law school.
You didn’t want life’s circumstances to dictate your outcome in
life. You were so angry that you couldn’t get back in.”

“Somehow that has changed.”

Aaron nodded. “Somehow it has. You were the
first person I’d ever met who was filled to the brim with
enthusiasm for school. Not just any school, but law school. I don’t
think that’s normal.”

“I’ve heard that a time or two.” I smiled,
as Aaron’s fingers fell from my chin. “I was tired of feeling angry
so I stopped feeling.”

“I know how that happens. I recognize it and
it kills me that I can’t fix everything for you. I mean if I could
personally escort Derek to—”

I held up my hand to stop him. He didn’t
need to say it. I already knew and loved him for it.

Aaron took my hand and guided me to the next
statue, and the next, and the next. All were women of great
strength and beauty, and I was surprised at the small bio that
Aaron managed to give me as we stood in front of each one.

Standing in front of Clemence Isaure, I
looked up in awe at the mythical figure. She looked carefree and
above it all. Her legend was built on grace and poetry, and I had a
fondness for what she represented. Not to mention she was the only
female figure in the garden that was based on myth, at least to my
knowledge.

“We can make this a tragedy or we can make
this a victory. I know the woman I fell in love with was all about
winning. Sometimes at any cost, but that’s for another discussion.”
Aaron’s statement took me aback.

I hadn’t thought about how my story, my
life, would be defined in the end, and there would be an end. There
was nowhere more fitting to realize that there was an end than when
standing in a garden full of statues commemorating the dead’s
legacies. I’d been so involved in the clutter of the moment that I
didn’t step back and imagine how I wanted my life to unfold. I’d
lost sight of who I wanted to be and it took Aaron to point that
out. He’d had this planned the whole time, and I fell right into
his plan.

“I think it’s time I stopped watching my
life go by.” I spun around and looked into Aaron’s eyes. “I think
I’ve let Derek poison my life enough.”

“So what do you propose we do about it?”
Aaron asked bemused.

“I’m going to stop running, and I’m going to
make sure the world knows my side of the story. If I don’t want
Derek to have a platform, I certainly can’t hand him one on a
platter.”

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve been hoping
to hear that come from your lips.” Aaron smiled and pulled me into
him.

There was nothing like living in old-world
charm yet having the conveniences of today pumping my music through
the apartment. I had my iPod repeating my favorite playlist that
mixed indie and alternative music. I was feeling completely
reenergized after spending time with Aaron in the gardens
yesterday, and I’d spent most of my morning researching Derek.

Everything was going wonderfully until our
doorbell buzzed incessantly. It was like my sixth sense kicked in
and told me to ignore the peculiar sound. At first I thought there
was something wrong with the iPod speakers, but when it continued
to sound like a crow was being electrocuted, I realized it had to
be the door.

I shuffled to the foyer and pressed on what
I assumed was the speaker button to downstairs.

“Hello. May I help you?” I yelled into the
speaker.

The crow kept squawking so I let go of the
dull red button and then pressed it again.

“Is there something I can help you
with?”

Two more cackles echoed into the foyer, and
I’d about had it. What the heck was I doing wrong? I pushed on the
button once more and leaned against the door as I spoke to the
anonymous person downstairs. As I vented into oblivion, I looked
over and spotted another contraption that looked very similar to
the one I was using, except it looked newer. Like maybe from this
decade. I released the button and glanced over my shoulder,
thankful no one was around to see my brilliance shine through.

I pressed the shiny red button and spoke
into the speaker box.

“Can I help you?”

“I hope I’m not interrupting. This is Tracy
Sennet. I’m here to see Aaron.”

Well, that’s just wonderful.

“Oh, sorry. He didn’t mention he was
expecting anyone. He’s been working in the studio all morning. I’ll
buzz you up.”

“Thank you.”

I released the red button and tilted my head
as I looked at the row of black buttons. I wondered which one it
was. Only one way to tell. I started at the top and worked my way
down until I heard a beep. Huh. Wonder why it wouldn’t just be the
top one.

I glanced in the mirror and congratulated
myself on my choice of wardrobe. Since I hadn’t planned on going
out today, I was in a pair of ripped jean shorts and one of Aaron’s
button-down shirts. My hair was a bit of a frizzy mess, but at
least it was all collected on top of my head in a bun. Who was I
trying to impress anyway?

Yeah right, the best friend of the woman who
was in love with my boyfriend.

The knock on our door boomed through the air
like a judge’s gavel and completely disoriented me. I smoothed my
shirt down with my palms and took a deep breath. At least it wasn’t
Elizabeth on the other side.

Flinging open the door, I greeted Tracy with
open arms and air-kissed my way to hell and back as I invited her
in. Unfortunately, she walked in and knew right where to put down
her purse as she slithered—err walked—into the living room.

So she’d been here before. Being the
daughter of the gallery owner that would make sense. No need to
overreact.

“Again, I’m so sorry. Aaron didn’t mention
he was expecting you or I would’ve had been more prepared.”

“Oh, you’re such a dear. You look fine.” Her
smile was saccharin as I let the knives slowly work their way into
my back.

“I meant I don’t have any tea or coffee to
offer.”

“My apologies.” She continued into the
dining room with me on her tail.

“No need for apologies,” I laughed as I bit
my tongue to stop it from lashing out. “I’ll go get Aaron.”

“You’ve done enough. I’ll go check on
him.”

And before I had a chance to say or do
anything, she’d opened the not-so-secret door and shut it behind
her. I stood in the dining room for a few seconds reenacting what
just went down. Obviously I didn’t want to do anything that would
jeopardize Aaron’s show but what the hell just happened?

I shook my head and trudged into the kitchen
and grabbed my phone from where it was charging. I unplugged it and
texted Lily.

You know that moment you just want to smack
a…

It was midnight in Seattle, and my hope was
that Lily was still up. She was a night owl like me, so the odds
were in my favor. When I saw the little bubbles on my screen
indicating that she was responding, my insides lit up with hope. I
missed my girls. I wished I lived in a world where we didn’t need
backup, but apparently that was only in the land of fairytales.

Lay it on me. Who do I need to visit when I
get there-lol

She brought a smile to my lips, and I let
out a nice big sigh. If only it were that easy.

The daughter of the gallery owner just
waltzed in and up to see Aaron. She also appears to be the best
friend of the woman who is still in love with Aaron. Yes. That’s
right. I’ve failed to mention a few things since I landed in Paris.
I was hoping my predicament could wait until you arrived in two
weeks but…Grrrr. I hear her laughing upstairs.