Beyond Complicated (22 page)

"Inside me. Want you to own me. Don't think I can get enough of you now," I said, tugging his shirt over his head.

"Liam," he moaned my name as his hand slid over my ass to my hole, just touching me while we held each other. "I need you so much. You're al I've ever needed. Love you so damned much."

A second set of hands joined Kel's, Seth sat on the bed behind me. He'd heard us. He opened the lube and watched as Kel readied me. By the time he roled me onto my back, I was panting. Begging. And with Seth watching. Kel took me hard and made me his.

Forever.

When I could sit up they fed me, in bed, taking turns spoon feeding me stew. We were al naked now.

Laughing and loving. Fed and happy, they dragged me to the huge open shower in Seth's bathroom and did things to me that kept me from thinking about anything except how much I loved these two men and the wonderful things they did to me.

Fed, clean, and sated, I fel back into bed to sleep the rest of the day away. I awakened once to watch Seth make love to Kel on the couch. Then again for more food and more sex and more sleep.

"We need a bigger bed," I remembered saying in the wee hours before dawn when I nearly roled off trying to get into Seth's boxers. Why he'd worn boxers to bed was beyond me.

"That implies there is a '
we'
and that you are interested in sharing a bed on a permanent basis." Seth stopped wiggling beneath my hands and lay stil beneath me. His eyes suddenly serious.

Was that what I wanted? I looked from him to Kel lying on the far side of the bed, mostly asleep, his heavy lidded eyes watching us. The taste of his spunk stil in my mouth. My two loves. "I think I want that.

The three of us."

Seth lay beneath me, his face turned to look at Kel then back to me. The dim light from his bedside lamp showed the moisture glistening in his eyes. "Maybe we should buy a house. Outside the city maybe. With a huge master suite."

"I get the pool boy. And a dog." Kel yawned, his fingers twined with Seth's.

"No pool boys, or freshmen, or Bilys—not for you, not anymore," I surprised us al by saying. "Just Seth or me. Just us."

He looked from me to Seth, as if he were waiting for something.

"Just us, Kely," Seth said causing tears to form in Kel's eyes.

"I'm not a boy, I'm not your toy, your plaything," Kel replied, his voice breaking.

"Not a boy, a man, ours, our love, our lover, my lover, Seth's lover, never a boy," I agreed.

"Except when you want me to be, and maybe the leash idea could be revisited." Kel smiled that lopsided grin of his that meant he was up to no good.

But this time it was Seth who groaned. "He's going to kil me, isn't he?"

"That's what you get for picking up surfer boys who are too young for you," I said laughing. But the laughter didn't last long as more important things needed tending to.

Monday morning after Kel left for class and while Seth showered to go into his office, I caled my office and, claiming a medical issue, I took a leave of absence. Abby wasn't happy but she was my friend and she'd make sure my job would be available when I was ready to come back. I tossed my phone on the bedside table, lay back in Seth's bed, and stared at the ceiling.

I didn't want to go back. That was the thing. I hated my job. I had enough cash tucked away to survive on while I looked for something better. I had an accounting degree so I could go anywhere. Except I couldn't, if a background check puled up anything of my sordid past—Seth emerging from the bathroom wrapped in a towel cut off that thought.

When he left, later than he meant, I'd forgotten to worry about finding another job and went back to sleep. That's al I wanted to do now. Sleep and eat and fuck. Sometime later, I awoke to a warm mouth doing wonderful things to me. God, Kel had the most luscious damned mouth. I fucked into him, feeling him hum around me until I came shooting down his throat. And then he fed me.

Deli sandwiches and lemonade from the sub shop near campus. Before he left I returned the favor, except for the feeding part. "I'm taking your car back this afternoon," he said when he'd finished, he was on his back fuly dressed, his pants open, his dick soft, sated. I lay beside him, playing with his hair. "So I can go to the apartment and bring back clean clothes.

People might notice I'm wearing the same clothes as Saturday if I show up in them again tomorrow. Unless you need the car."

"No, I'm not interested in leaving this bed for another day or two at least," I said hoping for levity.

The smile he gave me seemed sad. "What?"

"It's not good to sleep so much." He roled to face me, his fingers so warm on my face. "I can't help but think—"

"It's nothing to worry about, Kel, I'm exhausted. Maybe a little too much so, but I'm fine, I promise." I tapped my head when I said fine. "I took a leave of absence from work. I've been considering a career change for a while now. I hate insurance. Just hate it. I'm good financialy for a while at least. And I'm not depressed. I promise."

"Okay. I just hate to think that I've done anything to, you know, contribute to any inner turmoil.

Because, Liam, I know how you are, you dwel on things too much. Little things."

I sighed. He did know me a little better than he should. And I didn't know much about him at al. "I'l admit that Seth coming back into my life sent me into a tailspin. I'm stil trying to put that part of my life to rest.

We're working on that. I forgave him."

"And what about me? Come on, Liam, I know that this thing between us is kiling you. I can see it when you look at me. Lust, love, and fear. Al roled together."

"I won't deny that I'm scared." I traced the curve of his jaw, watching the emotion in his eyes. "I can't justify wanting you as easily as you can. I helped raise you. If anyone finds out we're sleeping together, if Sabrina finds out, it won't be pretty."

"Sabrina can't control me, or you. Not anymore. She caused this mess," he sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm in love with you; I have been for a long time. I refuse to believe what we have is wrong."

"Yeah, wel, keep it off of Facebook, okay?

And we'l pretend everything is normal at the odd family function. You're staying in my guest room. Nothing suspicious about that." I didn't want to have this discussion right now. My gut ached from the guilt and fear that crouched deep inside. I wanted to be so happy. In love with—Kel. I loved Seth with al my heart but I was in love with Kel. I never knew there could be a difference.

I could spend my life with Seth and never notice anything was missing. With Kel, I don't know, just the thought of losing him was tearing me to shreds. "I'l graduate early, in December, two more months. We can move away from here. No one wil ever know. Or care. We can go to California."

"New York." I don't know why I said that. "I want to go to New York."

"Fine, I'l apply to NYU or somewhere. I want to go to medical school. I think. Be a surgeon. I love carving things up a little too much in biology."

"My son, the surgeon." And that thing in my gut twisted at the thought.

"I'm not your son, not realy, I can't be your son and love you like this," Kel whispered, his lips so close to mine I couldn't help but taste him. "Love you so damned much, Liam. I hurt with it."

"I know." I did know. I hurt so much. So damned much just holding him. I wanted him so damned much. "Make love to me, please?"

He seemed startled at my request. I did too, I suppose. I was always happy being the top, with Kel it was different. I can't explain. I wanted to be loved.

That's al. Just loved. And Kel loved me. Roling with me until he had me panting and hot. The ever present bottle of lube finished me off and he was inside me, over me, his eyes hot and sweet and gentle as he moved inside me. Loving me. This wasn't fucking. Slow and soft and I held him to me as I came, he held me tighter as he went over. Kissing me. "Love you, Liam,"

he said over and over as he rocked into me. "Love you, Kel," I replied, holding on to him as if I'd lose him if I didn't. And I flew, taking him with me.

And that's how it went for days. I made it out of bed, I dressed, and I went back to being a functioning human on Wednesday. I went out and bought food, did laundry, and played the housewife, because the house smeled like sex funk and looked worse. I made a few cals to contacts in New York. And I looked into letting my lease go. But decided I needed to keep the apartment. For show if nothing else. Hel, I didn't know if Seth wanted both of us with him long term. And this place was so smal. Larger than my place and nicer but stil too smal for three grown men to inhabit at once.

I don't cook, I make an effort but seriously I can folow directions on a box, but that isn't cooking.

Seth and Kel, now they could cook and I loved watching them in the kitchen together every evening.

Food prep usualy turned into one of them bent over the island. Usualy Seth. Kel was a natural top. Forceful little punk. And Seth loved being fucked. Sometimes I joined them. Others, I was content to watch from the sofa.

On Friday, Seth came home early, dressed in one of his gorgeous suits, his hair slick and neat, and my heart did this pitter patty thing that it always did when I saw him. "Suit porn."

"What?" He stopped just inside the door, his face relaxed into a smile when he saw me sitting on the arm of the couch, swinging my leg and drinking a bottle of water. Because I needed to lay off the beer maybe, the way my stomach hurt lately.

"Suit porn. Sexy as hel man, in a sexy as hel suit. Makes me hot. When you came into my office last week I thought I'd spontaneously nut." I smiled seductively, wanting him to smile back. I was feeling freaky and a week spent doing nothing had finaly caught up with me. "I could right now, given the right motivation."

Seth set his briefcase on the floor beside the door and started to pul his tie as he crossed the room.

"Leave the tie alone. And the jacket. Silk shirt, oh hel, stud, don't you dare take off anything."

"Liam, sometimes you shock the hel out of me."

He stopped tugging at the tie, his eyes brimming with lust now as he stood in front of me. "So now what?"

"Now, pretty man, how was your day?" I stood up and ran my hands down his shoulders, watching his pupils dilate and then I kissed him. Just lightly, on the lips, on the chin, his cheeks, his eyelids, his forehead, back to his lips.

"Awful, why did I ever think I wanted to be a lawyer? Can't help anyone. Can't even help myself. Al the fucking red tape." He opened his mouth for me to explore. "I love having you here. This week has been the best. Stay with me. Move in. I love having you here when I come home to kiss me and—"

I dropped to my knees in front of him and unzipped his fly. His dick greeted me happily, begging for freedom and attention. I obliged, puling it free.

"That," he finished saying as I leaned back and studied the vision before me. Fuly dressed suit porn with erect cock. Oh fuck, I was in heaven.

"Porn star's dream come true. Damn, baby, you look incredible like this." I didn't wait long before taking him deep in my mouth. "Taste good too. Can I come to your office Monday and hide under your desk? I could do this al day and no one would know."

"The things you say—oh fuck, that feels good."

Seth braced his legs apart and placed a hand on my head to hold his balance. Slowly, he fucked my mouth, going so deep I gagged, and recovered. "Oh shit, you're too damned good with that mouth of yours, got me ready to pop. Oh, fuck, Liam, get naked now. I want to see you naked."

I let my prize go and, leaning back, I did as he asked. I stripped out of my T-shirt and jeans then sat before him nude, submissive. He ran his hands through my hair and looked down at me, his eyes shining with love and lust. "I want you to take me, here on the floor,"

I said to him, unashamed of my nudity. He started to remove his clothes and I shook my head. "No, just like you are. Turns me on looking at you dressed like that."

"Shit, Liam, why are you so… don't answer that," he said but he didn't come down to me, instead he puled me to my feet and before I could stop him he wrapped me in his arms and kissed me. Sucking my tongue into his mouth, his hand gripped my ass, fingers sliding down my crack to touch my hole. "Lift your leg."

I did as he ordered. Lifting one leg, I wrapped it behind his thigh. He licked his finger and went back to explore. Slipping inside me. "Wrap your arms around my neck, I want to watch you."

I shivered in anticipation but I did as he wanted.

I hooked my arms around his neck and let him hold me.

His fingers inside me made me weak, I gasped for breath, my gaze locked with his. "Seth."

"Yeah?" he asked when I didn't say anything else. I'd forgotten what I wanted to say. He smiled, he knew. "I love watching your face, god, Liam, you are so damned beautiful. Even more beautiful right now.

Does that feel good? My fingers deep in you?"

"Yes." I lifted my leg higher, opening wider for him. He used both hands and spread me wide. "Oh yes.

More."

"My pretty slut, look at you, shit, baby, gotta be inside you or I'm going to…" he didn't finish, he turned me around and leaned me over the arm of the sofa, filing me from behind.

His clothes caressed my body, the fabric soft.