Beyond Repair (15 page)

All I could see were biceps, abs, pecs, and some other muscles that I didn’t know the name of because I didn’t pay nearly as much attention in Anatomy class as I should have when I was in college. How the hell was a guy this hot interested in someone as messed up as me? Heat rushed through my body, centering between my legs.

Chris:
I was just kidding around. Delete it.

I kept staring.

Chris:
Hello?

Chris:
Brooke?

I scrolled up to look at the picture again.

Chris:
I was just kidding.

Chris:
Are you mad? Did I freak you out?

I guess I should answer him.

Brooke:
No.

Brooke:
No.

I needed to write something clearer than ‘no,’ just to make sure he understood I was cool with it.

Brooke:
No way.

Chris:
Can I call you?

Brooke:
Sorry, can’t talk right now. See you tomorrow!

Chris:
Really?

Chris:
Delete it.

Brooke:
Good night!

Chris:
You’re going to delete it, right?

Chris:
Brooke?

Chris:
Delete it. Good night.

No way was I deleting it. I had big plans for my bed, Chris’s picture, and my hand.

* * *

I was giddy as hell last night, but today I was freaking out. I really hoped things weren’t going to be awkward. I had probably gone through at least half a bottle of hand sanitizer that morning.

Even though we were staying in, I decided to treat this as a date and put on the nice jeans with a top that Zoey had talked me into buying. It wasn’t revealing, but the cut was lower than the t-shirts I usually wore. I felt a little strange in it, but it was just a shirt. He probably wouldn’t even notice.

After pacing in my kitchen until twelve thirty on the dot, I headed over to Chris’s.

I knocked on the door and it swung open. Wet hair, worn jeans, and a blue t-shirt with the damn short sleeves that drove me insane came into my sight. Now that I had seen what was under it, I couldn’t stop staring at him, even while knowing that I was disgustingly obvious.

He stepped aside and let me in. “Hi.” He swallowed. “I like your shirt.”

“Thanks. I like yours, too.”

He gave me the half smile. “You hungry? I ordered all this food.”

I nodded, following him into the kitchen. He waved at a bunch of takeout containers lining his counter. “I meant to ask you what you wanted last night, but I got kind of distracted so …”

“Listen, I’m really sorry about that. I really didn’t mean to send you that text.”

“No, don’t be. I was just kidding and …” He looked down. “Let’s just make a deal. We’re not going to talk about the texting incident from last night.”

“Can I still keep the picture?” I had no plans to delete it but figured I should ask.

He started laughing. “If you really want to.” He leaned down and gave me a light kiss, but after a few seconds, he moved closer, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into him.

I sighed and parted my lips. His tongue slid into my mouth, caressing mine. Reaching up, I pressed on his shoulders, willing myself to be taller so I could kiss him harder. It was everything I could do not to climb him like a tree.

Chris’s hands moved to my hips, just resting there, cautious as can be, even though we were kissing each other like maniacs and I was clawing his arms. I pressed myself against him, and his erection rubbed against my stomach.

I wasn’t stupid. Of course, he must have gotten hard when we had kissed before; it was always so intense and passionate. But this was the first time I was close enough to actually feel it. And holy shit was it turning me on. I stopped kissing him for a moment, drawing in a shaky breath. He pulled away, looking at me with burning eyes. “Did you want to eat?”

“No,” I whispered, pushing my body against him again.

He took a deep breath as his eyes sank shut. “Brooke …”

Our lips crashed together, and he groaned, lifting me up. High enough so he was poking lower than my stomach. I wrapped my legs around him, craving the contact. He mumbled a curse word, encasing me in his arms again. The movement caused my body to shift, and I rubbed against him. “Damn,” I whispered.

We were moving, but Chris kept kissing me and I was too blissed out to open my eyes or even register where he was going. He finally stopped and lowered us onto his couch with me straddling him, everything lined up perfectly. My hips had a mind of their own. They moved in long, slow motions, right against the hard bar outlined in his pants. I wished that there weren’t two layers of jeans between us.

And my hips shot backward. I couldn’t do this. Not yet. He didn’t know what happened, and even though we were officially together, it was too soon. We should really talk about having sex before doing anything, with his past and all. Both of our pasts.

He stopped kissing me, panting for breath. “We can stop.”

“I don’t want to.” I ran my hands along his face as his eyes closed. “I’m not ready to sleep with you yet, though.”

His eyes flew open. “I wasn’t even thinking about that.” He gave a sheepish grin. “It’s been so long for both of us, I thought we’d talk about it first. Even if you wanted to, I don’t have condoms.”

Relief washed over me as I let out a breath. “Okay. I just don’t want to be a dick tease and give you the wrong idea.”

His forehead rested against mine. “I’m not going to lie; you grinding against me is the world’s biggest turn on. I’m going over construction plans in my head to calm myself down. But I’m not going to take it as an invitation to do something that we haven’t talked about yet.”

I trailed my fingers along his cheek. I didn’t know what I did to deserve the most understanding guy ever, but being with him made me feel so happy, safe, and comfortable that I wasn’t going to waste time now questioning it. “Thank you,” I mumbled, leaning forward and kissing him again. My fingers found the hem of his t-shirt, and I bunched the material in my hands. I wanted to rip it off him and feel his warm skin against me. My hands slowly started to move up.

He broke away from me and pulled the shirt over his head, staring into my eyes as he dropped it next to him. “Is that what you wanted?”

My breath caught in my throat as I greedily took in his sculpted chest and stomach that his clothes usually hid. Far away and the tiny picture on my phone did not do justice to seeing him right in front of me. He was
beautiful
.

I swallowed. “Yeah. That’s what I wanted.”

His chest shook so I knew he was laughing, though he did a good job of hiding it. I gazed at him, not worrying that I had a dreamy look on my face.

He smiled as he watched me ogling him. “Um, are you done?”

I shook my head, and Chris’s eyes sank shut as I reached out, running my hands over his chest and stomach. He leaned into me and started kissing my neck, his hot breath skimming against my ear. “Tell me if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, okay?”

“Okay.” I was having a hard time concentrating on anything but his mouth on me.

I rubbed his chest as his mouth lazily dragged across my neck while his hands rested on my hips, thumbs just under my shirt, rubbing back and forth against my skin. I let out a sigh. God, he was driving me insane.

Chris took that as a signal to go up a little farther. His hands slid up, slowly traveling under my shirt, higher and higher. His mouth stopped moving against my neck, and I could feel his heavy breathing against me, cooling my wet skin. “Brooke?” he whispered.

If his hands went any higher, then they would be on my breasts.

“Chris?” I whispered back.

I could hear his quiet laugh, but then he leaned back so he was looking at me. “Don’t kill the moment. You know what I was asking.” He bit his bottom lip, and his hands started rubbing me.

“Yes,” I said softly, and his mouth collapsed against mine as his hands moved up, resting on the thin material of my bra. After a moment, he moved his thumbs, grazing my hard nipples. I let out my breath. Chris stopped kissing me, leaning back instead to see my reaction as his hands kept moving.

I nodded, fusing our mouths together again, kissing him while my hips bucked uncontrollably against the bulge in his pants. His hands slipped into my bra, and my back arched as he moved faster, massaging and pinching. I couldn’t control my moans that he kept catching with his mouth. Every touch was waking my body up from hibernation.

He broke our kiss. “Can I do more?” he whispered.

“Oh, my God, yes.”

His hands traveled down until they were touching the waistband of my jeans. I stopped rocking and his eyes bore into mine as I shifted backward to give him room. His lips parted as he unbuttoned the top and slowly brought down my zipper.

I wanted nothing more than his fingers there, and I wanted to touch him, too. I
needed
to feel his dick in my hand. I reached out and found his belt, undoing the buckle, and his eyes rolled back as I undid the top button.

I suddenly got worried about the message I was sending. My hand jerked back quickly.

Chris immediately made eye contact with me again, his face a mask of control. “Do you want to stop?”

“I want—I want to touch you.”

He gave me the half smile. “I get it. I really want to touch you, too.” He put his hands on the side of my face. “Am I moving too fast?”

I shook my head.

“We can stop, baby. Don’t keep going for me.”

“I don’t want to stop,” I whispered, looking down. “I’m just … not used to this.”

He hugged me, and I leaned against his shoulder, trying to process my feelings. I had his shirt off and both of our pants undone and every fiber of my being wanted to feel him. Explore his body with my hands as he explored mine. I pulled back and moved off his lap. Sadness flickered in his eyes, but he gave me a sweet smile.

“I really want to keep going. More than anything.” I moved my hands to the waist of his jeans as his eyes darkened. “Can you lose these?”

He stood up, watching me. My hand reached out slowly, and I lowered the zipper. The jeans dropped down to the floor, and he stepped out of them. He was wearing black boxer briefs. Nice. I let my gaze travel town to the bulge straining against the fabric and looked back up at his face as I stood up in front of him, pulling off my own jeans. He kept his eyes on mine, and I hesitated but decided to keep my shirt on.

Finally, he glanced at my exposed underwear. “Those are nice.”

I looked down. They had the Wonder Woman logo on them. Oops. I bit my lip, but then grinned. “I didn’t know we were going to be doing stuff today.”

“Doing stuff. Brooke, you have such a way with words.” He leaned down and started kissing my neck as he turned us so he could sit down, guiding me along and pulling me onto his lap with my legs on either side of him. My hips moved forward, and now that the jeans were gone, I could feel so much
more
of him. Chris groaned and grasped each side of my face so our lips met in a frantic kiss, and his hands slid down my arms, over my hips, where he pulled me back. My body tried to move toward him in protest, but his strong hands kept me in place.

He stopped kissing me but kept his mouth close enough to mine so I could feel his lips move. “Stay still for a minute?” His voice was shaky, and one hand stayed on my hip while the other traveled down, tracing the edge of my underwear as he made his way down toward my core. His breath was hot against my mouth as his fingers stopped, still touching the edge of my underwear. The only difference now was that he could move his hand a half inch and be right where I needed him.

Something needed to happen to get rid of this ache. Anything. I couldn’t press my legs together because they were spread out over Chris and I
needed
him to touch me. I wanted him so bad I was close to begging.

He took a choked breath. “Can I—”

“Oh my God, stop asking!” I gripped his arms. “Please. Just do it.”

His fingers slipped under the fabric, and I gasped as he grazed my opening with a light touch. “Fuck,” he muttered, and skimmed a finger all the way up my slit. He stopped just below my clit and slid back down.

I shuddered at his touch, and Chris let out a low groan. He pressed his forehead against mine and slowly slipped his finger inside me. “God, you feel really good,” he said through gritted teeth, slipping in another. I inhaled as they began to move, pressing against my walls and pushing deeper. His eyes focused on me as his fingers slid in and out, and I let out an involuntary moan when his thumb pressed against my sensitive clit. I leaned forward, burying my head on his shoulder as his fingers curled, sending waves of pleasure through me.

His other hand brushed my hair aside, and he whispered in my ear. “That feel good?”

“Uh-huh,” I let out. “So good.”

“God, baby. I love feeling you so much.” He let out a shaky breath. “You’re so hot and wet and you get so
tight
whenever I do this.” He curled his fingers again, and I whimpered.

His lips trailed along my neck as his free hand went to my hip. “You okay? Can I move harder?”

“
Yes.
” I gritted out as his fingers hooked up again.

“Want to ride my fingers?” His hand on my hip held tight, guiding my body forward and back as he stroked. “Fuck, do it. Grind yourself on them like you were doing to my dick earlier.
Please
.”

Shit. This was so incredible. My hips circled while Chris stroked inside me, going deeper as he urged my movements to be harder. I made an extremely pathetic noise, somewhere between a scream and a grunt.

And then there was nothing
.
“I’m so sorry.” Chris sounded horrified and started pulling his fingers out.

It took everything I had not to start crying in frustration at the loss of friction. I closed my fingers around his wrist. “Don’t stop! It felt so damn good. Please … please …”

“Shit, you have no idea what you do to me when you ask like that.” He groaned, pushing his fingers back where they belonged and guiding my hip again. After a minute, his hand dropped from my waist and to the back of my head, tugging gently at my hair so he could have access to my mouth. Unrestrained lips crashed on mine, tongue moving like crazy as his fingers kept sliding, deeper and harder.