Big Girl (2010) (26 page)

"Just a little lovers' quarrel, and a misunderstanding, I'm sure," her father insisted, still smiling. Victoria wanted to blow a gasket, but she didn't. She knew there was no point arguing with him. He wasn't going to agree with her, and he fully approved of the marriage, no matter what Harry did. And Collin looked undismayed by the scene. He looked pleasant and strong, and his whole demeanor conveyed the fact that he was Victoria's ally and no one else's. Her father got the message that she had an ally now, and anyone who attacked or belittled her would be dealing with Collin too. It came across loud and clear, even without words. Her parents left shortly after, and told Collin it had been great to meet him.

"They weren't as bad as usual," Victoria said as they left the Carlyle and walked toward her neighborhood. It was a balmy evening, and they were holding hands. She was stressed just from seeing her parents, and everything else that was happening these days, over which she had no control.

"They didn't fool me," Collin said quietly. "I heard him about the dress, the weight, the ice cream, and he doesn't give a damn if Harry cheats on your sister. He wants her married to a rich boy. He thinks it makes him look good. Just like my parents thought all of my brother's accomplishments made them look good, so they could brag about him, and mine were never good enough. I know exactly what these people are like," he said as he looked at Victoria sympathetically. He could see what she had dealt with all her life, and the toll it took on her. She looked unhappy and uncomfortable in her own skin as they walked along. And she seemed tense and withdrawn when he kissed her on the way home. It was as though she was pulling away from him too. He could see it in her eyes. He stopped walking, and he looked at her.

"I'm not the enemy, they are. I hear them. You're not good enough so no one could ever love you. Come here," he said, pulling her into his arms and looking into her huge blue eyes that were the same color as his own. "I love you. You
are
lovable. They're idiots. And I love everything about you, just the way you are. Now that's my message to you. It's not theirs. It's mine. You are the most lovable woman I've ever known." As he said it, he kissed her, and tears of relief slid down her cheeks, and she sobbed in his arms. He had just told her everything she had waited to hear all her life, and had never heard before.

Chapter 25

When Victoria got to school the next day, there was a huge bunch of blue balloons in the lobby that one of the students had brought in. There was a big sign up on the bulletin board. Amy Green had had her baby, a little boy. He weighed six pounds eight ounces, was nineteen inches long, and his name was Stephen William. Victoria was happy for her, and hoped it had gone well. She was sure she would hear all about it from some of the girls. The school was buzzing with the news all day.

Victoria heard later in one of her classes that Justin had been in the delivery room with Amy, with her mother. They hadn't known the baby's sex before, so that had been a surprise for them, and mother and baby were supposedly doing well, and going home in another day. She was hoping to be back at school in two weeks, three at the most. The school had really made it work for her. Victoria was planning to go and visit her when Amy felt up to it. The girls who talked to her said she felt great, and the delivery hadn't been too bad. Victoria was relieved. They were young, but at least they were seniors, not freshmen. It was a long shot, but they had a chance at making it work, especially with Amy's mother's help and support.

During one of her breaks, Victoria had more calls to make on the Vegas trip, and she called her sister about it that weekend. Gracie sounded calmer than she had during the discovery of Harry's cheating. And it had been neatly swept under the rug, per Harry's wishes. Everyone was cooperating with him on that, especially the bride and her parents, which Victoria didn't think was the way it should be at all. But she was trying to detach from it. Collin and she went to the gym every morning, not because he was concerned about her weight, but because he said it would help her with stress, and it seemed to. She was feeling less anxious again, and she gave Gracie all the details she had arranged for the Vegas bachelorette weekend, which she still thought was a bad idea, or not one she'd enjoy anyway. She would have much preferred a quiet weekend in Santa Barbara with Gracie and her friends, at the Biltmore or the San Ysidro Ranch. But they were young, and they wanted to play.

She had booked rooms for all of them at the Bellaggio, two girls to a room, and the girls all had to give Gracie their credit card numbers. Victoria had made dinner reservations, and gotten tickets to Cirque du Soleil. She would be flying in from New York, and the others from L.A., arriving on Friday night and leaving on Sunday morning, when they checked out of the hotel. She had done her job as maid of honor, and her sister was happy with the plan, and apologized for putting pressure on her about it.

"It's okay. This is your big moment," Victoria said, trying to be a good sport about it, which she always was. And in this case, doubly so, since she disliked Harry so much and was so worried about her sister. She felt as though she were leading her to her own execution, but it was what Gracie wanted. And Dr. Watson was right. It was Gracie's life.

"I'll do it for you one day," Gracie said, sounding more like herself. Victoria knew she was under a lot of pressure, not just with the wedding, but from Harry, who was calling all the shots, and more so every day. A number of things had been changed to suit him. He was taking her to the South of France on their honeymoon. First to the Hotel du Cap in Cap d'Antibes, and then to St. Tropez, where he wanted to meet up with his friends, on his honeymoon with Grace.

"I hope you won't be doing it for me in Vegas," Victoria laughed, relaxing a little.

"How's Collin?" Gracie was anxious to meet him, and she couldn't believe she hadn't seen her sister since Thanksgiving. It was the longest they had ever gone without seeing each other, and a lot was changing for both of them.

"Terrific."

"Dad liked him," Gracie commented, which surprised Victoria, since Collin had sat there like a vigilante protecting her, and had sent out a strong subliminal message to her father. Maybe he hadn't gotten it or pretended not to. "He was surprised he was with you. He said he seems like a successful guy, and thought he was more likely to be with another lawyer, and not a schoolteacher. But he liked him." The putdown was clear. She wasn't good enough for Collin. Now the messages were coming with Gracie. She was not only Harry's puppet, she was their father's.

"Maybe he likes me," Victoria said quietly. She felt totally secure in his love now, and it was a great feeling.

"Mom says he's very good-looking."

"Yes, he is. I'm sure that surprised Dad too. I'm sure he expects me to be dating someone he considers a loser like me."

"He's not that bad. Don't be so hard on him." Gracie defended their father, and Victoria wouldn't enter that conversation with her. She knew it was pointless. He was giving Gracie a big wedding and everything she wanted, and she was buying the party line, from him and her future husband. And he was the father who had always been nice to her and adored her. And if she was willing to be Harry's enabling handmaiden, she was willing to be her father's too. She and her mother had that in common now, and Victoria was at the opposite end of the spectrum. She was the freedom fighter taking a stand for the truths no one wanted to hear. And Collin was her ally now, not Gracie. Those days were over, and would never come again if she married Harry, and it looked like she would. Victoria missed the relationship she had once had with her sister and no longer did, and she was more grateful than ever to have Collin.

She finished up the details with Gracie for the Vegas trip, and then she spent a peaceful weekend with Collin. She was going to Las Vegas the following weekend. She wasn't looking forward to it. It wasn't her idea of a fun trip.

She went to visit Amy Green and her baby before she left. He was adorable and tiny, and Amy looked happy. She was nursing him, and was going to pump when she went back to school. It was only for a few weeks before summer vacation. Justin was there too, and looked like a proud papa as he held the baby while Amy chatted with Victoria. She had brought them a little blue sweater and booties, and Amy put them on him like a little doll. It was odd watching these two young kids as parents now. Babies having babies, but they both seemed mature and responsible with their son, and her mother was always hovering nearby to help them. It was an ideal situation for Amy and Justin, and had given her mother new life after the divorce. It looked like a blessing for all.

The next day Victoria flew to Las Vegas after school. She had promised to call Collin, and he knew how she was dreading the trip. She was sure Gracie's friends would drink a lot, play, gamble, go crazy, and pick up boys, since none of them were married. She felt like a chaperone on one of her senior school trips. They were a bunch of twenty-two- and twenty-three-year-olds prepared to go wild. And she felt like the old lady in the group, about to turn thirty.

The one nice thing about the trip was that Victoria got to see her sister, and Gracie threw herself into her arms when she arrived. She checked out Victoria's new nose and said she liked it.

The girls had started drinking before she got there, and some of them had already played the slot machines and won a little money. They all went out to dinner, and afterward they wandered through the casino, which was a strange, artificially lit world, full of bright lights, no windows, excited people, money changing hands, and girls in sexy costumes passing out free drinks. Some of it was wasted on the girls, but they loved the atmosphere and had already discovered that there was good shopping in all the hotels, particularly theirs, and lots of single men roaming around the casino and hotel.

Victoria felt as though she had to stay with them all evening, and she was exhausted and bored. They were mostly silly and had too much to drink, and flirted with the men they saw, except for Gracie, who behaved. Harry called her all night to check on her. It was two o'clock when Victoria finally got to her room. She was the only one who didn't have a roommate and didn't want one. Gracie was rooming with her best friend. And Victoria couldn't call Collin when she finally got to her room because it was too late in New York, although she had texted him several times and he had responded with encouraging messages to hang in. It was a marathon weekend, but she felt it her duty as maid of honor, and Gracie was visibly loving every minute of it. She was like a kid in Disneyland more than a bride.

The next day was chock-full with shopping, lunch, gambling, massages, manicures, pedicures, a swim in the pool, dinner at Le Cirque, Cirque du Soleil, which was a spectacular show, and finally back to the casino till three
A.M
. It was easy to lose track of time there, as there were no clocks and time seemed to stand still, which was what the casinos wanted. And some of the girls stayed up all night, and got blind drunk, but Gracie didn't. And Victoria slipped away at three and went back to her room to sleep.

They all met for a late brunch the next day, and then Victoria left the group to go back to New York. The others were leaving later, and she kissed Gracie before she left. Some of her friends had ferocious hangovers, but all of the girls said they'd had fun.

"You did a great job," Gracie thanked her. "I guess I won't see you till the wedding," she said wistfully. "I really miss you."

"I'm coming out a few days early to help you," Victoria reassured her. And then they hugged again, and Victoria left, grateful to be going home to New York. It had been a very long weekend. It hadn't been terrible, and there had been no mishaps, but she hadn't had fun either. Going to Las Vegas was not her idea of a good time. And Collin had told her several times how happy he was not to be there. She chatted with him on the phone, as she waited at the airport for her flight. He was going to meet her at his apartment, and he had promised her an early night. She needed it. And she had a big project at school the next day. It was the annual school play. They were doing
Annie
. It was a huge production, and she had promised to help backstage, with scenery and costumes, just as she had in high school. She had missed all the dress rehearsals that weekend. But she was sure someone would fill her in. From what she had seen so far, it was going to be great. And they had a final dress rehearsal on Monday morning. The big opening for parents and guests was Monday night. And one of her students was the star of the show, with a voice worthy of Broadway. Collin had said he'd try to come.

She had never been as happy to see anyone as she was to see him that night. She folded into his arms with relief. She had been anxious and felt as if she were on duty all weekend, trying to make everything go smoothly for her sister, and some of the girls weren't easy. They were spoiled young women who were used to getting their way. But in spite of that everything had gone well. And Collin got into bed with her after they showered together. They made love, and five minutes later Victoria was asleep, as he tucked her in with a gentle smile. He had missed her.

They both left early the next morning. She had some things to do in her office before she went to the auditorium to start helping with the stage production. And she was there till noon while they set up, ran through all the musical numbers again, and Victoria was pushing scenery around with the students when she backed up, trying to make room for another big piece of scenery that was coming through. She stepped backward to avoid being knocked over, and before she could stop herself, she had fallen off the stage and lay flat on her back. There was a collective gasp as everyone saw it happen, and she was unconscious for a minute, and then she came to, and reassured everyone that she was fine. But she didn't look it. She was deathly pale, and when she tried to stand up, she couldn't. She had an excruciating pain in her leg, which was at an odd angle from her body. She insisted she'd be all right, but Helen went to get Mr. Walker and the school nurse, and they called 911. Victoria was mortally embarrassed when the paramedics walked in and put her on a stretcher. She had tried to get up, and she couldn't, and she had gotten a nasty bump on her head when she fell. And in the ambulance, they told her that it looked like her leg might be broken, and she told them that was impossible, she hadn't fallen that hard, but Helen, who had gone in the ambulance with her, said she had, and hit her head hard too. They wanted to do some X-rays and a CT scan of her head.

"This is so stupid," she said, trying to be brave about it, but she felt nauseous and her blood pressure was low. And she called Collin and told him what had happened. He promised to meet her at the hospital right away. She told him he didn't have to.

"I know you think you're not worthy of it, you goof. But I love you, and I'm coming up. I'll find you when I get there." She started to cry when he said it. She was scared, and relieved that he was coming, but she would never have asked him to.

He found her in the emergency room when he arrived. They had already seen on the X-ray that her leg was broken, although it was a simple fracture and didn't need surgery, just a cast, much to her relief. And she had a mild concussion, and all she needed for that was rest.

"Well, you did quite a morning's work, didn't you?" Collin said ruefully. He was worried about her, but relieved it wasn't worse, and she didn't say it, but she was thrilled she hadn't hurt her new nose. And after they set her leg and put the cast on it, Collin took her home and set her up on pillows on the couch. He brought her mushroom barley soup and a tuna fish sandwich to eat. She had crutches, and they told her they would take the cast off in four weeks, about ten days before Grace's wedding.

Collin had to go back downtown for a pretrial meeting at his office that he couldn't get out of, but he promised to be back as soon as he could. She thanked him, and he kissed her, and flew out the door, and then she called Harlan at work and told him what had happened.

"You klutz," he teased her, and she laughed, but it hurt. They said it would for a few days. She called Gracie too, and she and Harry sent her flowers, and Harlan brought her a stack of magazines when he came home. And an hour later, Collin walked in with a cooked chicken and grilled vegetables from Citarella for all of them, and kissed his patient.