Black Lies White Lies (14 page)

“More than likely I will feel even better in the morning. My things are being moved to my new office.”

“That was taken care of today. I saw Brenda going in an out so I’m sure things are in order.”

“I did some work from home, the rest will keep till I get there. Who’s the new client Pam told me about?”

“A trucking company up from Atlanta. I think Maxwell is in if the numbers are right.”

“From Atlanta? Did you happen to get the guy’s name?”

“Yes, it’s Lance Jackson. He put in a pretty decent bid so I’m sure you will get to meet him in the near future.”

“I can’t wait. Talk to you tomorrow.”

“Ok, and one other thing, Candice. I love you.”

“I love you too, Ashton.” I hung up the phone, speechless. This just couldn’t be happening. Lance working for the same company? What were the odds of that? Not that it mattered, but I just couldn’t believe my luck. This was as strange as it gets. What would I say if Ashton found out we were from the same town? He would want to know everything about me and I wasn’t ready to tell.

I hoped this was just another trucking job for Lance and our paths never actually had to cross. I think I remembered he had said he ran it from his Atlanta office and I hoped it stayed that way.

Chapter 11

I woke up the next morning and got ready for work. Lance hadn’t returned my phone call. Maybe it was for the best.

I was feeling better about the weekend, but I hadn’t forgotten what had happened. If I just went on with my life maybe I could put it all behind me. I wouldn’t let Victor, or anyone else, steal my life or my happiness. I had never been a victim. Not before, not now. I could never tell Ashton. He never had to know about his brother. Somehow I would heal from this. I would soon marry Ashton and all this would be a distant memory.

I got to work and went straight to my new office. It was enormous and had a spectacular view. I could see most of Fifth Avenue along with Ashton’s office through the frosted glass window. I had a large mahogany desk with a new top of the line computer. I smiled to myself, thinking I’m uptown now. Look at this small town girl from Brownsville. She wanted more and got it.

Here I was, sitting in my new swivel leather chair, smiling from ear to ear. If my sisters could see me now, they would be so jealous. But deep down I wanted them to one day come and see how I lived my life. It was lonely at the top, but right now I was enjoying the ride.

“I see you are settling in, isn’t this view amazing?”

“Yes it is, Brenda. Did you think this day would ever come?”

“Yes. And you deserve it. You’ve worked your ass off.”

“Thank you, Brenda. I couldn’t have done it without you. You’re my right hand man.”

“I hate to be Debbie Downer, but what happened this weekend?”

“I’ve decided to try and forget what happened.”

“Forget what happened? It had to be something terrible for you to have called.”

“When I was in the Hamptons, Ashton’s brother raped me.”

“He what!?!”

“Yes. You heard me right.” Now I had said it out loud.

“Does Ashton know?”

“No, and I want to keep it that way.”

“Why? Why wouldn’t you tell him? It’s something detrimental in your life and he should know.”

“I don’t want to cause any rift between the two brothers.”

“You can’t keep this to yourself. You should talk to a professional at least.”

“You know, Brenda? I thought about that, but I think I will be ok.”

“When something like this happens, we all think we can handle it. What will you do when you are face to face with him again? What if he tries it again? It’s like keeping his secrets. Just think about what I’m saying.”

“Ashton asked me to marry him, but I’m not sure I want to after this weekend.”

“Do you love him, Candice?”

“Yes, but to love him is to love his family.”

“Do what’s best for you, and screw the rest.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

“Can I ask you a favor, Brenda? Let’s never talk about this again.”

“I’m with you whatever you decide and I’m always here if you want to talk.”

“Thank you, now let’s get some coffee and get to work.” We walked by Ashton’s office on our way downstairs, and there sat Lance. I just kept walking, hoping he hadn’t seen me.

“Candice, have you seen that guy in Ashton’s office? He is one fabulous looking guy. I think he is trying to get a contract with the company. Maxwell and Ashton have been talking to him for the last two days.”

“No, I didn’t see him,” I lied.

“I would like to get to know him better,” Brenda laughed.

“What about Calvin? I thought you were so into him.”

“I like Calvin, but you know I would love to be with a guy that has it all together.”

“Calvin is a sweet guy. You two were made to be together.”

“If you say so, but Calvin doesn’t want the same things I want out of life. He likes things simple. I guess I would love to have a guy that wants more.”

“Wanting more is overrated, Brenda.”

“You have Mr. Ashton Williams. I have Calvin, Mr. Simplicity.” We sipped our coffee. I was stalling, hoping Lance would be gone when we got back upstairs. As my luck would have it, Ashton and Lance where coming out of his office as we walked back.

“Candice, I would like you to meet Mr. Jackson. This is Candice, the head of our marketing department.”

“Yes, we know each other, Candice and I grew up together in Tennessee.” The puzzled look on Ashton’s face was priceless.

“Ok… Well this is Brenda, Candice’s Assistant. Don’t tell me you know her too.” he said with a smirk.

“No, I don’t. Nice to meet you, Brenda” he said as he took her hand.

I couldn’t read Ashton’s body language, but I knew we would be discussing this later, and I’m sure that was putting it mildly. “Well Lance, I believe Maxwell is waiting downstairs. Shall we go? Ladies.”

“Candice, I’ll talk to you later,” they said in unison. I almost fell through the floor. I just stood there wishing I could fade away.

“I will talk to you both later.” What the hell I was thinking, telling Ashton that I didn’t know Lance. How was I going to talk my way out of this one? I was just sick to death of telling half truths. Who was I trying to fool with the lies I was telling?

I just wouldn’t think about it now. All Ashton knew was we were childhood friends. “Candice,” Brenda interrupted my thoughts, “I didn’t know you knew Mr. Jackson.”

“Yes, we are friends, like he said.”

“Did you see Ashton’s face when he said he knew you?”

“Yes, I did. He seemed to be a little upset. I can’t imagine why, but I’m sure I will find out later. Let’s get to work. Enough about my personal life.”

On the way home that evening, all I could think about was how I was going to explain this. My phone had been ringing since I’d left the office, so I picked it up. “Hello?”

“Candice, this is Lance, I don’t mean to bother you, but after running in to you today, I thought I should call.”

“I called you last night, but you didn’t answer.”

“I was in meetings all day with Maxwell and Ashton. I didn’t check my phone until now. I hope things with you are ok.”

“They are, Lance, why wouldn’t they be?”

“I sensed a little tension this afternoon at our chance meeting.”

“I didn’t notice any tension. I was just surprised to see you in my office.”

“I thought I told you I was looking to expand my business to New York.”

“You did, but I didn’t know we would be working under the same umbrella.”

“If things go well, and I think they will, I will be a frequent flyer. But my home is in Atlanta, and that’s where I will be until something comes up. Since I’m in town, can we have dinner tonight?”

“Let me get back to you, I have a lot to do tonight.”

“Candice, I didn’t come here to get in your way or to cause any problems. I just thought we could have dinner.”

“I know, Lance, and I will see what I can do. Just give me an hour and I will call you back.”

“That’s fantastic. I will talk to you soon, bye now.”

I wanted to see Lance so I could explain about Ashton and me.

I walked in my building and Ashton was there waiting for me. Well here go the fireworks, I thought. “Hey, Baby,” he kissed me on the cheek, “I’ve been waiting for you. Would you like to have dinner or just grab some take out?”

“I don’t know. Right now I’m tired and I would just like to take a bath and relax.”

“I’m sure. That’s ok by me, but you have to eat.” I knew there was something to this, and its name was Lance. We walked into my apartment, “Would you like a glass of wine? I’m going to have one.”

“Sure, but a beer would be better. I didn’t know you knew Mr. Jackson.”

I knew it was coming. “Lance and I grew up in the same town.”

“Yeah, I know we talked about it over lunch, along with him doing business with the company. Candice, I know I didn’t ask many questions about your family and where you grew up. I knew you would tell me in your own time. But I think some things are kind of serious if we are to be married.”

What had Lance told him about my family? “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Like the fact that you are black. Not that it matters, but you should have told me.”

“I’m black.” I thought this was about something totally different. “I didn’t know my ethnicity was in question here.”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a problem, I just didn’t know.”

“Did Lance tell you otherwise?”

“No, he didn’t, I just put two and two together. I don’t care what color you are, I just know that I love you and I want you to be my wife.”

“To tell you the truth, Ashton, I’m not sure of anything. I know who my mother was, but I’m not sure who my father was. I love the man I call father, but there are some questions. Questions I will never ask because it would hurt the only father I’ve ever known.”

“I understand more than you know. Going through family secrets is never a pleasant thing.”

“What do you mean?”

“Candice, every family has secrets, mine is no different. My mother and father had no perfect marriage, and we are not the perfect children. Victor and I are total opposites in every way. My father told me he would tell me something when the time was right. He hasn’t told me yet, but I fear it’s about Mother. Maybe she had an affair or something and got pregnant with me. He’s always treated us differently and I have always felt different.” Ashton seemed to be drifting into the past. “I will one day find out the truth though, even if it kills me.

Chapter 12

I met Sofia when I came to Connecticut to look for work. Raised in Charleston, South Carolina, there was nothing but a lot of poverty for blacks in those days. My mother worked for a white lady named Rose Dubai. She was kind to my mother. She always made sure we had food and nice things to wear.

She would say, these children look white so they should be treated like white children. If something happens to me. I want these children to be educated in white colleges. Momma would tell her, nothing’s going to happen to you, Rose. Don’t be silly, May Katharine, she would tell Momma. Everybody dies and you will too, so make sure they go to college.

Mrs. Rose had a lot of money and land her husband had left her when he died. When we were at home, Momma would always say, Old Lady Rose has an ass full of money, but she is no one’s fool.

Momma kept her house spotless. She always said cleanliness is next to Godliness and I believed her because she kept us working hard to keep our house spic and span. People who came to our house would say you could eat off the floor. Marbella, you get an education so you don't have to scrub white woman’s floors, Momma would tell me.

There were three girls in our family and all of us had movie star looks. My sister, Joyce, always said she was going to move to New York and be on Broadway. And she did. Momma would tell her she needed an education. She would tell Momma, I will get an education, but right now I’m going to New York. Let her go and live her life, Mrs. Rose would tell Momma. Rose, these children are mine so let me raise them.

Mrs. Rose never had children of her own, but she treated us as her own. My baby sister, Alberta, stayed close to home and married a man from Charleston. They eventually moved to California to get away from some of the prejudice.

I graduated from the University of South Carolina, just like Momma and Mrs. Rose wanted, passing for white all the way. In the late fifties and early sixties, blacks went to black colleges and whites went to white colleges. I was the exception and no one knew. Mrs. Rose would come visit me. She paid for all my books and tuition.

She would bring me letters from Momma, because no one could know that I had a black mother. Momma baked cakes and goodies for me to have at school. When school was out for Christmas break, Mrs. Rose would pick me up in her brand new Buick, wearing her fancy clothes, acting as if she were my mother.