Black Lies White Lies (5 page)

The kids came running in at that moment. “Mommy, can we have a snack?”

“Not now. Rosa is fixing dinner and it should be ready soon.”

“I’m hungry now,” Justin said in that commanding voice that sounded just like his father’s.

“Well, you will just have to wait.”

“If Daddy were here he would let us.”

“Hold it right there, Young Man. He’s not and I said you were going to wait.”

“Ok, Mommy. Is Daddy coming home soon?”

“He’ll be here before you go to bed, so go wash up with your sister. Dinner will be ready soon.”

My phone started ringing. “Hello, Bryan.”

“Is something wrong, Sandra?”

“No, I just thought you might be home for dinner.”

“Well, Sandra. I’m a little tied up here at the church and I have a million things to do before I leave here tonight.”

“Bryan, you always have a million things to do. Just one night, could you come home and be with your family?”

“Sandra, I can’t talk about this right now so stop nagging. I’ll be home soon so kiss the kids for me. We will discuss it when I get home. Talk to you then.” That was the last thing I heard. Did he just hang up this phone? I should call him back and let him know I wanted a divorce. That would shake his faith just a little, that smug bastard.

The church is all he thought about. It was never about his family. I guessed I was a little jealous of the Lord, who always had my husband’s attention. I was just so sexually frustrated. I found myself blowing up all the time. This at the church shit all the time had to stop or I was going to leave his ass. Mr. Davis would not like that at all. What would the church think then? I laughed to myself just a little, but I had to have a plan first.

I called the kids down for dinner. Rosa had already set the table. “Did you have a nice time with Karen and Mark?”

“It was exciting, Mommy. We had fun. They took us to the park and we had ice cream.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you had fun. Now let’s say our prayers and have dinner.”

We sat quietly as the kids ate. I heard the front door open. Bryan was home. “Daddy!” Justin got up from the table.

“Justin, you get back here now and finish your supper.”

Bryan walked into the dining room. “I hope I didn’t miss much.”

“No. I will have Rosa set a place for you.”

“Sandra, I’m sorry I snapped this afternoon. I’ve just been so busy, it’s taking a toll on my nerves.”

“It’s ok, Bryan. I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

“Baby, it’s never a bother when you call.” Who was this man standing here, I wondered.

“Sandra, we will talk later after the kids are in bed.” Now he wants to talk?

“Now let’s have supper. I’m staved.” So we sat back down.

Justin was all over his father, begging for attention. Bryan talked about his day and how he was going to move the church in a new direction. Our marriage needed to be moved in a new direction. Maybe we would talk tonight and I could get this off my chest and maybe something more.

Dinner was finally over and Rosa cleared the dinner dishes.

“Kay-Kay, I’m going to make a few calls and I’ll be right up.” Kay-Kay was my middle name and his pet name for me. He hadn’t called me that since college. Who
was
this man in my house tonight?

I got the kids bathed and ready for bed. Bryan walked in as I was getting Justin tucked in. “Did you say your prayers, Justin?”

“Yes, Daddy, I did.”

“Give me a hug. You have school tomorrow. I’m going in to say goodnight to your sister so I’ll see in the morning. Good night. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

“Night, Daddy. I love you.”

We made a stop in Sydney’s room, she was already sleeping. “I don’t want to wake her. She must be tired from the park today.”

“Come on, Baby. Let’s have our chat.” We walked down the hall to our bedroom. Bryan held my hand, “I have so much to say to you, but first let me get out of this suit.”

“I’ll take a shower while you relax.” I pulled my hair up and put a clip in it. I was so tired of this long hair. Bryan never wanted me to cut it. The bible says a woman’s hair is her glory, he would say. It actually says a woman’s hair is her glory, but not her long hair. But I wanted to keep the peace and not argue about the bible.

I turned on the shower and got in. So many things were running through my mind. I had wanted to spend more time with my sisters but Bryan had to get back for some meeting at the church. I missed them so much and I hadn’t seen Candice in years. I lived in the same town as Sabrina and we didn’t see much of each other either. I wanted that to change but didn’t know where to start.

Bryan opened the shower door, naked as the day he was born, “Can I join you?”

“Sure.” He took the bath sponge and started to clean me. It felt so warm and soothing. The water felt warm and Bryan’s hands felt even better.

“Sandra, I love you so darned much and I don’t want to lose you.” My tears started flowing uncontrollably. “Don’t cry, Baby. I know I’ve been neglecting you and I’m sorry. I promise to make it up to you.”

How could he make it up to me? We had spent so much time apart, I felt so alone. How was this marriage ever going to work? He turned me around to his rock hard chest and I laid my head against him. He began kissing my tears away. He kissed me until the tears were no more. “Kay-Kay, will you let me make love to you? I want to make love to my wife in the worst way.”

As he turned off the shower and dried my body he took my hair down so it would fall along my shoulders. “I love your long hair. It’s so sexy.” He kept kissing me. “You’re so beautiful and sexy.”

I just stood there looking up into his eyes. He’d always towered over me. He was about six-foot three to my five foot six. His body was incredible, the color of a chocolate candy bar and just as sweet. His eyes were a light brown, almost green. When he looked at me it always seemed he could see my soul.

And above all, I realized that I loved him with all my heart and soul. We walked out of the bathroom and to our bed, his body still glistening from the shower. He used the remote lying on the bed to turn on the music. Luther Vandross’ ‘
If This World Were Mine
’ played through the speakers. How I loved that song. We used to listen to it when we’d park by the river and make out in his red, drop top Corvette his dad had bought him for graduation.

“Bryan, I want you to make love to me.” I wanted him so much.

“Kay-Kay, I’m going to show you how sorry I am right now.” He kissed me with such passion. I couldn’t breathe. It felt as if he was making love to my mouth with his tongue. I opened my mouth to receive his sweetness. He kissed my neck, moving down to my right nipple, his mouth moving in such a way, it caught my breath with every stroke.

He kissed and sucked on my nipples until they were so hard they ached. When I thought I would explode from the pleasure he positioned himself so my legs where wrapped around his neck. One thrust of his penis was all the effort it took. I was so slick and wet he easily slid in all ten inches. Oh! My! God! This man knew how to make love. He rocked me like a baby, going deeper with every movement of his body.

Just when I thought he would take me over the edge, he would slow his movement, “Not yet, Baby.” On and on this went for what seemed like hours until I couldn’t take it much longer. Finally, he screamed, “I’m coming, Baby!” and we came together, like we always did.

His body went limp inside me as he was panting for breath. “I love you, Kay-Kay, I love you,” I heard him say as we lay there in each other’s arms, sweating, trying to gather ourselves. He slid me closer to him, kissing me once more.

And he started to talk. “Sandra, I know this life isn’t always what you signed up for and you’re alone a lot of the time, but know this, you’re my wife and my life. Without you, there is no me. God, you and the kids are all I have and all I want. Baby, try to understand me.”

“Bryan, it’s not like I don’t understand, I just need a little more us.”

“I know, and I will try. Please give me that much.”

“Ok, I will. But you have to give me this. Try and spend more time with Justin. He needs you.”

“I know, Sandra.”

“He’s spending more time with Mark than with his dad. He’s at an impressionable age and what he needs is his father.”

“It’s done, Sandra. I can only show you I mean what I say. Let’s get some sleep so I can help get the kids to school in the morning.” We kissed some more as we drifted off to sleep.

~~~

It seemed like morning came too fast. Bryan was already in the shower. I wanted to sleep a little longer. I smiled to myself thinking of last night and how delightful it was. I needed this and more of the same. Bryan opened the door of the bathroom, steam rolling out behind him, “Morning, Sleepy Head. I take you slept well.”

“Yes I did, and you’re the reason.” He entered his closet, it was as large as some people’s houses, and started getting dressed.

“Bryan, I’m going to get the car serviced today. It’s time,” I told him as he walked out somewhat dressed.

“Sandra, I’ll have someone pick it up, you don’t have to bother with that.”

“It’s ok. I’m getting my hair done today and it’s right near there.”

“You’re getting your hair done? I hope you’re not cutting it.” Now was time to tell him I wanted to cut it a little shorter.

“Baby I’m tired of all the up keep of this long hair. It’s time for a change.”

“Sandra we’ve talked about this.”

“I know, but I need a new look.”

“I love your long hair.”

“It’s just hair. It will grow back.”

He hesitated for a moment; “Well ok. I love you so much I’ll make an exception this time.”

Exception, I thought? But no need to argue the point, I was getting my hair cut.

He sprayed his favorite cologne, Polo Black. I’ve always been a sucker for a good smelling man. Guess I got that from my Momma. She had always loved a man that smelled of fab, too. We would always smell cologne on her sheets when we washed clothes, a different kind every time. Momma. Even though she could be cruel at times, I missed her.

Bryan kissed me from my thoughts, “Sandra, let’s get the kids going.”

I slipped on my robe and we walked down the hall to Justin’s room. He was already up and out. “Guess they are already downstairs. Rosa should be here by now.”

“Sandra, you can go ahead and join the kids in the kitchen. I’ll be down in a minute. I have to make some calls.”

“Don’t be too long.”

“Ok, this won’t take long.”

Justin and Sydney were already in the kitchen and Rosa had fixed breakfast. “Would you like some coffee, Mrs. Davis?”

“Yes, Rosa. Would you take a cup to Bryan? He’s in his office. I’ll finish getting the kids ready for school.”

“Hurry and eat your breakfast, kids, so we can be on time this morning.”

Bryan walked into the kitchen as we were headed upstairs. He was looking fantastic in his black suit, white shirt and red tie. He did pay attention to detail when it came to dressing. I just hadn’t noticed this morning. Guess I was thinking about everything else. “Did you get the coffee?”

“Yes, but I said I would be right down.”

“Yes, but I know how that is.”

He had to laugh. “You are right. Sandra, ask Justin to come back down after he’s dressed. I have a surprise for him and Sydney.”

“Really? Ok. That sounds like a plan.” As we kissed, I hurried up to get the kids ready. Maybe he was going to stick to his word this time and spend some quality time with the family.

After I told Justin his father had a surprise for him he ran downstairs. “Does Daddy have a surprise for me too?” asked Sydney.

“Yes, Baby Girl,” and she bolted too. I went to my room and pulled on some sweats to drop the kids at school.

The kids were screaming and laughing when I got back downstairs. “Mommy! Daddy’s taking us to the park after school! Isn’t that marvelous?” Justin screamed.

“Yes, that’s incredible, Baby. Now let’s get ready to leave, we’re running behind. Bryan, I know you will be gone when I get back so I love you and I’ll see you this afternoon.”

“I will be home early so I’ll talk to you then,” we kissed each other bye. The kids and I hopped in the Range Rover and headed for school.

When we arrived at the school I saw Sabrina dropping her two kids off. I blew my horn, making sure she saw us. She waved and smiled as she drove by. I needed to find a way for us to be closer. Momma was gone, Daddy was doing his thing and we were sisters. Driving home I thought of Candice and Sabrina and how we used to be. And now look at us living separate lives.

Chapter 4

There was my sister Sandra blowing the horn. We had hardly spoken. Life had a way of making things change, sometimes not for the better. I thought about the three of us; Candice, me and Sandra. About how close I’d thought we were when we were kids. They’d always thought I was Momma’s favorite, but I begged to differ. Momma had her favorite alright, herself and
maybe
I was next. I wanted the same things they wanted but I had a different way of getting it.