Blame It on the Shame (Blame It on the Shame: Lou-Lou and Ricardo's Story #1) (33 page)

I enter the bedroom and I brace myself.

I hear DeLuca enter the bedroom behind me and he wastes no time making his way over to me and tearing off my dress.

I'm grateful I'm not facing him because bile is burning my throat and shame is coursing through my body.

“How much have you missed me, Bambina?” he sneers.

My response is automatic. “So much.”

He reaches for my hand and brings it over to his package. The tremors and shakes begin but DeLuca doesn't care. “Do you have any idea how much I've missed you? Do you have
any
idea how important you've become to me?”

When I don't answer, his hand wraps around my throat.

I quickly shake my head because I can't bring myself to open my mouth. I'm afraid that if I do...all that will come out are sobs.

Because these aren't Ricardo's hands.

I
know
the difference between having his hands on me...and having
this
monster's hands on me.

I
know
the difference between the touch of a man who cares and one who uses and hurts me.

And that makes what's about to happen so much worse.

Ignorance really can be bliss.

I feel the tears stinging my eyes.
I miss Ricardo
.

I miss everything about him.

And if I could go back to that night under the stars...I would have given him every single part of me.

Because now I know...it's better to know one moment of true love...then to spend a lifetime without it.

I draw in a shaky breath as I begin to tremble, wishing for a miracle to stop this from happening.

My eyes burn and I force myself to do what I have to in order to get through this.

Because wishing for a miracle right now? Is like wishing for a torrential downpour while standing in the desert.

And wishes don't come true for girls like me.

I'm no princess...I'm just the villainess servant.

DeLuca bends me over the bed and I close my eyes. I swallow back vomit when his fingers dig into my skin. I dig deep within myself and try to find that dark, cold and numb place. Anything to make this bearable for me.

He's starting to take my underwear off when we both hear a knock on the door.

“You have an important phone call, Mr. DeLuca. Someone from Italy.” Marlene says.

“Transfer it to my cell,” DeLuca barks.

“I can't,” Marlene says. “There's something wrong with the phone lines. You have to take it in your office.”

“Goddammit,” he grumbles while getting off the bed.

I stand up and he grabs my chin. “This could take awhile, Bambina. Do something to occupy yourself.” His hold on me tightens and I wince. “When I get back, I expect to find you naked on my bed with your legs spread for me.”

“Of course,” I whisper, that dirty feeling growing and spreading like a fungus.

When he leaves, I hightail it to the adjoining bathroom.

My hand is barely on the doorknob when the bathroom door opens and someone yanks me inside.

I'm about to start screaming but then I see who it is.

“Ricardo?”

His jaw flexes when his eyes rake up and down my body. “If you thought I was going to stand by and let
him
fuck you...you're out of your
fucking
mind.”

My heart practically leaps out of my chest when he backs me into the door.

“I'm going to ask you a very important question.”

He glances at his watch. “And your answer will determine
everything
that happens next.”

His hand slides down to stroke my neck and I know he can feel my pulse beating rapidly against the pad of his thumb.

“Do you
want
me…or him?”

I can't lie to him anymore. I can't go on pretending. Even if DeLuca kills me...I don't care.

I'll gladly die a thousand deaths just so he knows the truth.

“You,” I say. “I want
you
, Ricardo. I choose you.”

This time, when he tilts his face and moves closer, I welcome what's about to happen.

His kiss is what the angels sing about and what teenage girls wish upon a star for.

First kisses
just
like this one. Kisses that turn nightmares into fairytales.

He's repairing me with his lips, mending me with the stroke of his tongue and saving me with his breath.

His kiss is killing me and rescuing me all at the same time.

His kiss is washing away all the dirty and making me feel renewed and revived.

He's making my ugly, beautiful.

I groan when his hand tangles in my hair and his tongue continues dancing with mine slowly and sweetly.

He pulls me closer to him and I can't tell who's heart is beating faster, his or mine.

I see fireworks and swear, I hear bombs go off when he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and I feel his hardness against my stomach.

But when every wall in the house begins to shake and knickknacks start falling all around us...I realize.

There are
actual
bombs going off.

Holy shit.

He pulls away and shoves my car keys into my hand, appearing unfazed. “Don't worry. Only the west wing of the house was bombed.”

I stare at him speechless when he hands me a towel to wrap around myself.

“You know how to get to the secret hallway that leads out front from here?”

I blink and look down at my keys. “Yeah.”

He opens the second door to the bathroom and shoves me out of it. “Good. I'll meet you back at the apartment.”

I somehow find my footing but stop to turn back around. “You bombed DeLuca's house just to
kiss
me?”

His mouth curves into a sideways smile. “It was a damn good kiss. Now...
go
. I'll see you in a little while.”

Chapter 24 (Ricardo)

“Lucianna!” DeLuca screams so loud the walls rattle.

I cough and wave at the smoke as I walk through the debris. Half of DeLuca's house is a pile of rubble.

I text Emilio and told him that since DeLuca was planning on going back to Italy anyway, he didn't have to make a threatening phone call pretending to be one of his enemies anymore.

I also told Emilio to only bomb the west wing of the house but the damage is worse than I thought it would be.

Every room in the west wing is completely destroyed...along with the kitchen, dining room, living room and conference room.

His office and the bedrooms are all located on the east wing...so no one was hurt.

“She's okay,” I say as I enter his office. Relief flashes across his face and he looks behind me. “Where is she?”

“I told her to go back to the apartment. I didn't know
what
the hell was happening but I figured she was safer that way.”

“Good thinking,” he says before his eyes narrow. “What the fuck were you doing in my bedroom in the first place?”

“I was looking for
you
.” I lift a shoulder in a shrug. “I was going up the east staircase when I heard the bombs go off. I knew you'd be in your bedroom and I wanted to make sure you were okay. When I saw Lou—Lucianna, I told her to run out of the house to safety.”

He raises an eyebrow, sheer shock across his face. “You were worried about me?”

“Christ, DeLuca. You
are
my father.”

He looks taken back briefly before his expression changes to one of annoyance. “Dammit, I can't believe someone bombed my fucking house.”

I look around. “I know.
I'm
just as shocked as you are. But then again...you
are
a mob boss. One with a lot of enemies.”

He pounds his fist on his desk. “I don't even know how they managed to do it. But when I catch the bastard—” He stops mid-sentence and his eyes turn dark and evil. “Fuck—I
know
who did this.”

I'll admit, for a second, I think he's on to me...but then he starts sprinting around his office like a madman.

“Marlene, get my bags ready and call the pilot,” he orders. “We're going back to Italy...
now
.”

“Okay,” she sighs, reaching for the phone.

He punches a wall. “That
witch
isn't gonna get away with this. I'll kill them all one by one. Those fucking
she-devils
!”

I open my mouth to ask who and what the
fuck
he's talking about...but when I look at Marlene she twirls a finger around her head and mouths, “He's gone
crazy
.”

Yeah, you don't say.

He looks at me then. “You
have
to protect Lucianna while I'm in Italy, son.” He looks like he's swallowing a box of nails before he chokes out, “Please.”

I want to capture this moment on camera because I've never seen him look so desperate. I didn't think it was possible.

“She's very important,” he whispers. “She's—” He closes his eyes. “She's just
very
important.”

Yeah, she is.
“Okay. No problem.”

Don't worry, shithead. I'll always protect my girl. Especially from assholes like you.

“Thank you,” he says.

If
that's
not weird enough...for a minute...I think he's going to do something crazy.

Like hug me.

I instinctively reach for my gun, but luckily he looks back to Marlene.
“Hurry up!” he shouts.

“The pilots clearing his schedule,” she responds. “But he said there's a bad storm coming in.”

“Tell him I don't give a fuck!” he booms before walking over to me. “Tell Lucianna I'll call her later. It really means a lot that you're agreeing to protect her for me. I know you two don't get along...but I can see things are getting better between you two now. Thank you again.”

I fight the urge to tell him we've
kissed and made up.
Instead, I give him a nod and turn on my heels. “See you when you get back.”

Chapter 25 (Lou-Lou)

The thunder jolts me as I drive behind the apartment and pull up near Ricardo's secluded parking spot.

Luckily I pulled my suitcase out of the trunk and was able to change back into some clothes before it started down pouring.

However, that small relief does nothing to calm the jumble of nerves that lines my stomach right now.

What if DeLuca figures out Ricardo was behind the bombing?

I still can't believe he was crazy enough to bomb DeLuca's house.

I close my eyes and touch my lips as I recall his words. “
It was a damn good kiss.
”

He was wrong.

It was more than just a good kiss. It was without a doubt the
best
first kiss in the history of first kisses.

Lightning zaps the sky and the rain comes down harder. There's no way I'm getting out of this car until Ricardo comes back to me, unharmed.

I close my eyes again and try and control my breathing. Anxiety is shooting through me like a cannon.

Dear god, please let the man I love be okay.

When I open my eyes I see his mustang pull into his parking spot.

Relief fills my body and my heart beats like it's the biggest drum in the world.

We step out of our cars at the same time, neither of us caring about the rain which is currently coming down in buckets.

I run the short distance to him and his arms are already open, waiting for me.

I wrap my legs around his waist and I don't wait another second because I can't.

“I love you,” I scream, my voice straining with emotion. “I know...it's too soon. And it's crazy...considering our fucked up circumstances and all. You don't have to say it back. But I need you to know it's—”

“The truth,” he finishes for me. “I know it is because I
feel
it.” He leans his forehead against mine. “And for the record—I love you, too.”

Our lips come together as thunder rumbles in the sky above us.

He kisses me with so much passion, I'm fighting for air...but it's no longer because I'm suffocating. I'm fighting for air because I want to live and breathe every one of his kisses for the rest of my life.

His tongue parts my lips and he swings us around so I'm pressed against the hood of his car.

I feel myself slipping due to the wet surface, but his hands are on my hips, holding me in place.