Blasphemous (22 page)

I was one of her main top clients and the easiest one to work with. I didn’t demand much, but when I did, Barbara knew I meant business.

Even though we weren’t together, it didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to help her get to where she needed to be. Emma admitted that she wanted to act, so I was going to help her get there.

“Is she dating anyone?”

“Anyone? Nah, she’s dating everyone. She goes on dates almost on a daily basis. The girls are merely having a blast with it. The stories Trista shares sometimes are really fucking funny.”

What the fuck happened to Carter Mason? “Carter’s done with her?”

“Carter?” Taylor shook his head with a ‘pft’ sound before he continued talking. “He’s around because he’s so crazy about her. I swear, each time I see him look at Emma, I always get reminded of how you guys looked at each other.”

Yes, that was
before
I found out she kept things from me. I bet it didn’t take her long to seek Carter’s bed after we broke up. The thought of it brought bitterness back to surface. “He’s around while she dates? How’s that possible?”

“Those two have a thing, but Emma remains single.”

They always had a thing. It was the reason why I couldn’t stay with her. Even that scream—the one after I told her to leave my house—randomly still wakes me up in the middle of the night. Even when consumed with demonic rage after learning about that ring, I actually stopped in the foyer, contemplating if I should head back upstairs to soothe her before leaving
.
That meant that I had to be close to her again, though, and I simply couldn’t take the chance because, when it came to Emma, I turned into a besotted, pathetic fool.

I loved her, with no design or embellishments.

Just her.

Emma.

It was past one in the morning, yet I was wide-awake, thinking of her again. One would think that after months of doing the same thing on a daily basis that one would be past nostalgic. It was never the case, sadly. Though I wished it was so.

I was out on the balcony, enjoying a drink, when I heard someone knock on my door.

“Nikki?”

The raven beauty gave me an easy smile. “I couldn’t sleep. I’m glad you aren’t either. Want to enjoy a drink and exchange gossip?”

I shrugged, grinning and opening the door wider to let her through. “Sure. I have tons of secrets that you might find shocking.” A frown creased my face when Nikki stopped mid-step. “Something wrong?” I looked around, hoping I could see the reason as to what made her halt.

“You’re tidy. I don’t see any socks on the floor or any empty bottles sitting around.” Nikki spun around, smiling and looking like the beautiful woman that she was. “I’m impressed.”

Nikki was flirting and, for the first time in months, I didn’t mind that a woman was. “Not all men are alike. You should know that by now.”

“Yeah, I know now.” She gave me a sultry smile before she strolled towards the balcony, admiring the view of Dallas below.

Inserting my hands in my pockets before leaning against the sliding door, my eyes took her in. Nikki was pretty and had a nice figure, but she wasn’t Emma. Deep down, I knew no one would ever come close, but Emma was the past. And the Russian beauty was here, in my room, waiting on me to make a move. 

We were working on our second bottle of wine together when she blurted something out of the blue. “Do you remember the first time we met? The MTV Video Music Awards?”

I nodded and took a lengthy sip, my eyes trained on her.

She purposely bit her lip as she seductively looked at me. “I was so nervous that I stuttered when we were introduced. I had this huge crush on you and, when you were right in front of me, I was just speechless because you were so much hotter in person.”

Yeah, I remembered her stuttering. I thought it odd since I didn’t recall her doing so in any of her films. Yeah, her blatant admission made me smile. “Is that so?”

“Yep. It is so.”

Women… always giving themselves away. Well, all but one.

Nikki kept her eyes on me, giving me lingering glances while I took a lengthy sip of my wine. “How do you find me now?” I flirted back automatically.

“I want to fantasize about you all night long,” she delivered without hesitation. Nikki knew what she wanted and she went after it. That
it
was me.

I leaned back, studying and measuring her, a little curious. “What’s in the fantasy?”

She tsk-tsked before batting her lashes with those big brown eyes. “I’m not going to tell you. You have to find that out for yourself, Bass. Even though you’re so fucking hot I can’t think straight, you still have to figure some things out on your own.”

Ahh
… she was playing me out, to see if I really was going to bite the bait she was offering. “Don’t get too confident there, I may not be interested to figure you out.”

“Bite me, Bass, because that day will come.” Nikki immediately stood up, came towards me and kissed my cheek. “Sweet dreams… or do you want those dreams turned into reality?”

“Goodnight, Nikki. Dream sweet.”

“I will dream, but I haven’t tasted how sweet you are. Goodnight, Bass.” She brazenly planted a simple kiss on my lips before leaving me. I watched after her retreating form as she strolled out of my room.

She wanted me to fuck her. Nothing new there.

If I was horny, I just might, but I wasn’t. I haven’t touched a woman since Emma and I had no idea now how long this celibacy was going to last.

Since Nikki made herself known tonight, things might be turning back to normal.

I woke up later that night disgruntled, as if someone was choking the life out of me, but after a few deep breaths, I tried to remember what I was dreaming about. I closed my eyes, replaying it again in my mind.

There it was… the flashbacks began. I was dreaming of the lemon grove, that last night in Aspasia, the ruins and Emma. Everything seemed so real to me. I could taste her on my tongue. My hands could feel the softness of her skin. I could hear her laughter. Most of all, I felt her in my heart, beating and still very much alive.

Did it ever end?

Images of her beneath me, writhing and gasping my name as I plunged into her was so erotically vivid that I felt my cock spring into an instant hard-on. My hand reached down to stroke it, while my mind remembered everything. I remembered how wet she always was, always urging me to fuck her harder, her screaming my name as she came apart in my arms. At the same time, my cock was ready to explode as my strokes became ferocious. “Emma!” I growled her name as I came into my hands.

Panting as I slid off the bed, I moved towards the bathroom to wash-up.

“FUCK!” I growled again before returning to bed. “Fuck!” Even after all that tension with Nikki, she should’ve been the one I was thinking about.

But nope, it was always going to be
her
.

The love of my life haunted me every night. She was so wretched that even in my sleep, she constantly left me a gift of arousal to remember her by.

Damn you, Emma!

Damn you to hell and back—back into my arms again.

                                           
Chapter 20

A few days later…

“When I miss you, I don’t have to go far… I just have to look inside my heart because that’s where I’ll find you.”

- Author Unknown

Bass

I was in the hotel lobby, about to go to the bar to enjoy a cold drink, when I saw Nikki heading towards the elevators.

“Hey!”

“Hey, yourself! What can I do for you?” I asked politely, a little amused at her flushed face.

It seemed that Nikki blushed a lot around me. It was cute and it made me warm to her a little more.

I saw her hesitate for a second before blurting out her intentions. “Feel like drinking tonight? I’ll have desserts and games. Say, meet me in hour in my room?”

Ah, she hasn’t given up on me yet. After a few days of exchanging hi’s and hello’s, she was giving in.

“Sure. See you in an hour.”

She bit her lip before giving me a satisfied smile. “See you.”

We were filming a romantic comedy. A genre I tend to do once a year, if the script was great. Nikki actually was playing the best friend of the main lead, Britney Mantel. Her boyfriend, who I never met, was too paranoid into thinking that I was going to steal his girlfriend that he demanded her not to talk to me at all, which was fine by me, I barely knew the actress. Besides, she wasn’t even my type, blonde with a girl-next-door look. Blondes, I didn’t do much. Brunettes and inky-dark haired women did it for me. If they had a sexy accent, more points for them.

That’s why that picture of Emma with dark hair and dressed in that latex suit fucking killed me for days. I was actually a click away from hiring a jet to fly over to Santa Barbara and steal her away.

That image of her was still present in my mind when I knocked on Nikki’s room an hour later.

“You’re here! I was thinking that you weren’t going to show up,” she squealed before flinging her arms around my neck. I felt her smell me before letting go.

We ended up watching a movie and for the entire duration I was aware of her trying to get close to me. I had done this so many times that I could be an expert when it came to these things. I would even bet my entire bank account that Nikki was going to take it a step further tonight.

She wanted me that much.

An hour and half later, I was proven right.

“Bass,” Nikki moaned as her lips made contact to the base of my neck. When I didn’t stop her, she became emboldened. She started to leave soft kisses around my neck while her hand ran along my chest.

Nikki was breathing heavily while I sat there, wondering why I wasn’t turned on at all.  “What are you looking for in this, Nikki? Just sex or something more?”

“Both.”

Something more was out of the question. Sex was still questionable.

Nikki was a sweet woman and I didn’t want to hurt her, but I knew with these things, I just had to be honest. A woman needed to know what she was getting herself into. “I can tell you now, Nikki. I’m not capable of loving you or anyone, for that matter. I don’t have a heart to share because it died awhile back.” It was buried along with memories of Emma, Greece and that damning island where I declared my love to her.

Nikki gasped, her hot breath stopped hitting my neck while her hands slowly touched my chest, where my heart rested. “Your heart still beats, Bass. It’s still alive. You can choose to let me in.”

“True, it still beats, but you will find an absent eerie sound.” I was dead inside. Just like the rest of me, I wore my scars proudly.

Love wasn’t for me. I was allergic to it after my first taste.

“Sex with me is okay then?”

Honestly? I hadn’t had a clue. “I haven’t decided yet. Why?”

“I really like you, Bass. We could start with sex, then we can go from there.”

“I’ll think about it, Nikki.”

“
Why do you need to?
Don’t you find me attractive?” She sat up and looked into my eyes.

Need you ask me the question?
I wanted to ask, but instead I gave her a thoughtful look. Nikki was gorgeous, but she already
knew
that. “I do. I’m attracted to you, but I don’t know if I want to have sex with you yet.”

Nikki didn’t know how to respond to that. Her eyes glued on my chest before she gave in, reached out and caressed it over my shirt. “How much time do you need to decide?”

Forever. “I don’t know, Nikki.”

That. Pissed. Her. Off.

She then faked a headache and excused herself towards her bedroom. Nonchalantly shrugging, I left her room without guilt.

~B~

A week later, we were at a club along with the rest of the actors, when I spotted a woman who sort-of looked like Emma when her back was turned. It was sad, but I just wanted to be close to her.

Her name was Madison. “Turn around, I like to dance and watch you at the same time,” I requested when we got to the dance floor.

For a good thirty minutes, I had almost convinced myself it was Emma, right in front of me. It really was a downer when she decided to face me. I couldn’t even blame the alcohol for my sporadic madness.

“Don’t you think it’s my turn to dance with you?” Nikki glared at me before giving Madison a poisonous look.

“Sorry, Bass. I wasn’t aware you were here with someone.” Madison simply looked like she didn’t know what to do.

Funny, I wasn’t with anyone. “This is Nikki. Nikki, this is Madison.”

Nikki pouted before she greeted Madison abruptly. “Dance with me, please.”

“Nikki…” I repeatedly sighed.

It didn’t surprise me when Madison decided to excuse herself as Nikki became extra clingy. Was this really her or the alcohol talking?

“What do you need me to do to make you want me, Bass? Get on my knees and blow you? Do you need me to strip naked and offer myself to you? You have to tell me because I can’t sleep at night without thinking about you.”