Blasphemous (24 page)

Wow. I fucked up really bad.

The audience simply gushed in the background. “You did this
all for the same woman?
”

“Yep, I did.” Bass laughed it off, shifting in his seat. “I’m not normally all gushy and mushy.”

The host looked dreamily at him. “But you so are!” she gushed, fanning herself. “Is the woman by any chance, Nikki?”

“No, definitely not Nikki. Well, that chapter is closed. We make new memories, I guess.”

“You know after this interview, you’re going to get more screaming fans and livid admirers to get your attention right?”

“Nah. I love my fans, screaming or otherwise.”

Deciding I had definitely had enough, I left the living room and quietly headed straight to my bedroom.

After months of not shedding a tear for him, I drowned in them.

~E~

I woke up with someone stroking my hair. “Baby, did you forget that I was going to take you out for dinner?”

Rubbing my eyes, I squinted at Carter. “Sorry. I fell asleep after I got back from the hospital.”

“Do you want to order in? We could do that.”

“What time is it?” I yawned, half-sitting, and sought his shoulders to rest my head.

“It’s about ten. I’ve been here for two hours trying to wake you.”

Two hours? Shit. “Oh, God, I’m awful. I bet you’re starving.”

“A little. What do you feel like eating?” He pulled me on his lap, lifted my shirt and stroked the side of my hip.

Ice cream. I wanted those twenty-eight flavors back. “I could do a protein burger from In-N-Out.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be back in twenty minutes, give or take,” he said, getting up and kissing me softly on the lips before leaving my bedroom.

I yawned one more time before I commanded myself to get up and get in the damn shower. Ten minutes later, I looked good as new.

With only my silk robe on, I waited on Carter.

He’s been so patient with me that sometimes I felt like a total bitch for not giving in to him. Not once did he complain about it, even though he was dying to.

Ten minutes later he was back with food, placing them on my side table before directing me with a question. “Hungry?”

I was now. “I am, but you have to kiss me first before I start eating.” In a flash, I was on my back as Carter consumed my lips, but I rolled him on his, wanting to be on top.

Carter was quick with disrobing me and I was naked before I realized what was happening. “Fuck!” Carter hissed when I offered a nipple for his mouth to suck.

“My turn.” I got off him, determined as I started to unfasten his jeans, sliding them off his body. His boxers came next.

“You’re not going—” His eyes widened when I stroked his dick with a swift grip.

“I am now,” I said before lowering my mouth to his cock, watching him watch me sliding up and down his hard length.

Satisfaction was written all over his face, groaning as he took in every suck, stroke and lick I was gifting him.
“Fuck, baby. I’ve wanted you to do that for a long time now.”

I know he did, but I was being selfish because I felt like I was betraying Bass. After watching that interview, I knew it was pointless.

That chapter is closed. We make new memories
, he said.
Thank you, Bass… for making it easy for me to keep going forward
, I thought sarcastically. 

Hell-bent and bitter, I
didn’t stop until Carter came in my mouth, screaming my name like he was on the verge of ecstasy, panting praises as he gazed at me with a look full of love and lust—and admiration.

Now, we’re even
, I thought as I swallowed his come.

Chapter 22

     Eight weeks later…

“It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.”

                                      - Author Unknown

Bass

It was our last day in Dallas and I was due to leave straight away since Blasphemous was set to release early in June. The press junket and rounds of interviews were about to start with photo shoots and country hopping. Then, there was the thought of seeing Emma again after months of not seeing her that turned me cold.

Nikki and I had just finished dining at her favorite Mexican restaurant and we were on our way back to the hotel. Instead of figuring out how to break things slowly with her, I was stuck with the ghost of Emma again.

Entering Nikki’s suite, she immediately started stripping her clothes off, enticing me to fuck her. I didn’t know why she hadn’t given up on me. She sucked on my cock almost on a daily basis and I what, fucked her like a few times? I had to be drunk to fuck
her, too, because I couldn’t come if I wasn’t, she just didn’t do it for me. Nikki was beautiful, but it was Emma I wanted to touch.

Even if I felt this towards her, she hadn’t minded. She was fun to be around, but always made excuses so she could sleep in my bed. One night, she was so horny, she almost cried for me to touch her. Never in my life had I ever had such a hard time with sex. I mean I was hard, but each thrust made me feel disgusting. It was a miracle I lasted without telling her to fuck herself off. I was never more relieved when she came a few times and passed the hell out, unaware that I didn’t even come.

Needing my own release, I ended up in the shower and jacked off three times while in there. Thinking of the only woman who I couldn’t get enough of.

That was the last time I touched Nikki. 

“I’m leaving tomorrow, Nik. We have to talk.” I strode over to her naked body, picked up her discarded dress and handed it back to her.

Nikki scornfully eyed the clothing in my extended hand. “Why is it that when I get down on my knees and suck your dick, you’re okay with it, but when it comes to having sex, you’re always not in the mood? I know you don’t have a problem getting hard because you’ve fucked my mouth almost daily without a problem.  So what the fuck is it, Bass?”

Realizing that she didn’t care about her nudity, I tossed her dress on the bed with little care. “You want the truth?”

“Are you kidding me? Yes, I deserve to know why you can’t fuck a woman like any man would.” She was screaming like a banshee, ready to pounce any second.

“I’m in love with someone,” I delivered without hesitation while I saw her flinch as if I slapped her.

“Before or after me?”

Was there a point to this? Sighing with annoyance, I directed her a curt glance. “Before you.”

“If you’re in love with her, then why aren’t you with her?” she pressed on, unfazed by my lack of engagement.

“Because she loves another man.” After all this time, it still hurt to say it.

I was a little confused when Nikki started to laugh like it was the funniest joke she’d heard in awhile. “Karma’s a bitch.”

What did she just say?

“Excuse me?” I asked
, needing to make sure I hadn’t misheard her.

When her laughter died away, Nikki seemed to be in a daze as she sunk on the foot of the bed, staring at the carpeted floor. “You, in love with someone, but she wanted another man. It evens out in a twisted way.” She even had the gall to snort after she spoke.

Did she know that she wasn’t making sense at all? “What are you talking about?
How does that even out?
”

“Don’t you know already? I’m in love with you, Bass. I’ve always been crazy about you, but now it’s so much more.”

“
How?
”
I treated you like shit,
I wanted to add, but thought better. 

Nikki gave a nonchalant shrug, her breasts swaying as she did so. “
How?
I don’t know? It just happened.”

Dammit, she was complicating things. This was the last thing I needed—a tough parting with a lover, if I could even consider Nikki that. “I told you I didn’t do any of that in the beginning,
Nik.”

She was shaking her head in denial, big, brown eyes pleading me to stay with her. “I know, but can a person really help themselves when they fall in love? Give me a chance. Maybe we could work this out. We’re great together. The sex… we could work on it slowly.”

God, she really was serious! “Nikki, you’re a beautiful, lovely woman. You deserve everything a man has to offer. If we had happened before, maybe I could possibly consider this, but that’s not the case. We have to end it here in Texas.”

Tears slowly gathered in her eyes as she gave me a sad smile. “I guess
, you really don’t care about me, huh?”

Fucking hell, this was the very reason I told her not to start with me, but fuck, she just kept on coming until I folded. “I care enough to tell you that I’m not the guy to give you what you want.”

With a frustrated groan, I moved to leave her room, but her voice stopped me in my tracks.

“Who is she?”

“Emma,” I whispered in a soft caress, missing the name on my lips. “Her name is Emma Anderson.”

“The new chick you starred with in the Lombardo flick?” Nikki sounded surprised, like she didn’t get why it was Emma. “It could just be lust. I mean
, you were filming crazy amounts of sex. It’s only natural to feel like there was more than what’s really there. How sure are you that it’s love?”

Easy.

“Because, after all that pain and heartbreak, if I could be given another chance to have what I had, I would do it all over again. Even if the result was the same as the last time.”

“I really didn’t stand a chance, did I?” she managed to choke out, looking vulnerable again.

“No, you did not,” I said with finality before leaving her room.

A lot have tried to replace Emma, but not one came close.

No one ever would.

C
hapter 23

“The worst feeling you’ll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you knowing that you mean nothing to them.”

- Author Unknown

Bass

I was right out of the corridor when I heard her laugh as she spoke with
Dimitris. It stopped me from entering the room.  Making me nervous, excited and angered at the same time that she could still evoke strong emotions even after not seeing her for this long.

Just then, I really asked myself, if I was ready for this.

The thing was, I had no clue until I got to see her. Face-to-face.

A part of me wished she had fought harder to get me back. A part of me wanted her to find her way back into my arms. A small part of me wished she went back to Carter so I could be proven right.

It really was confusing that my thoughts were going in both directions. Clearing my mind, I pushed myself to enter the room.

Nothing prepared me for this feeling.

It was desperate, needy, and wretched. I hated that being in close proximity of her I started to sweat and my heart was manic.

Seeing her again was like going through a cold winter without heat to warm my cold, frigid heart and feeling the bright rays of the sun for the first time.

It was then that I realized that she was always going to be the woman who had that power over me. Hoping for something greater out there was never going to happen because I’d already met her and it didn’t work out. So why did it feel like I was being hypnotized?

“Bass! Good to see you again,”
Dimitris greeted me with a hug, tapping my back as he did so.

I grinned, missing the Greek guy who had become a very good friend of mine. “How have you been? Ready to be the next CEO soon,
Kosta?”

“I’m Greek. My mother bore me ready.”

Still cocky, I suppose nothing’s changed. “Right, of course she did.” I grinned as I sat on the red leather couch, facing Emma.

She was stuck on her phone, holding a laugh as she started to type. “Emma,” I said as I scrutinized every inch of her, reacquainting my gaze with those shapely legs and the body I once worshipped all day long.

She looked up quickly, not meeting my gaze full on. “Bass,” she cordially said before she went back to her blasted phone.  Emma’s smile broadened when her mobile started shrilling. “Hey! That was quick!” she gleefully said, standing up and starting to walk out of the door for privacy.

When the door shut after her, I still stared at it, struck and flabbergasted. That tiny dress she wore… was seriously scandalous. By God, she looked edible.

“Feels like shit when you see her again after months looking like
Salome
, doesn’t it?” Dimitris sat on the other end of the couch, amused. “What you did my friend, letting Emma go, was really dumb. I understand the need to feel like you are the only man that she loves, but she begged you and asked to give her time. Yet, what’s done is done. I’m happy to see you both looking great, though. So, what’s new? When do I get to meet your Nikki Pavlova?”