Blasphemous (35 page)

“What are you talking about? I stole that a long, long time ago,” she panted out, trying to catch her breath.

That had me grinning. “Oh yeah? How do you know?”

“You promised it to me. And I don’t believe I gave it back. I don’t think I ever will, Bass.” She stroked the side of my cheek, teary. “I’m giving you mine again. It’s barely healed and the scars are still there. I beg you not to break it again.”

“I vow to break mine first before I break yours.”

I meant every word.

Carter Mason be damned.

Chapter 32

“Immature love says, I love you because I need you. Mature love says, I need you because I love you.”

                                       - Erich Fromm

Emma

Soft strokes on my cheek made me wake up. Smiling, I opened my eyes to find Bass looking at me intensely. My smile disappeared when he kept looking so serious, lost in thought. His strokes didn’t halt for a second, though.

After a minute of confusion, his eyes finally lifted to mine. They were filled with sorrow, warmth, melancholy, passion, hope and his love. “Thank you for bringing me back to life.”

Oh, Bass.

He pulled me against his chest, my cheeks resting against his chest. “I was dead. The only thing alive was my thoughts, replaying you, over and over again. Forgive me for being such a jealous bastard, Emma. I just couldn’t take it then, but I should’ve stayed and worked it out with you. I should’ve known that I wouldn’t always get what I want, that sometimes it may take a long time for it to happen or that it may take hard work to get there. I was selfish and arrogant to demand so much of you. It was already too late when I realized how much I had fucked up.” He squeezed me tighter before releasing me slowly and placing a finger on my chin, arching it to meet his gaze. “Thank you, for giving me this chance and believing in me again, in us and our love.”

“I love you. That’s all I know,” I whispered, kissing his chest over his heart.

“I love you,
moro mou.”

We stayed in bed for most of the day, kissing and gazing on each other, talking as we filled in about our lives for the months without talking.

It was, as they say, perfect.

~E~

Five days later, Santa Barbara

I was halfway walking, rehearsing what I had to say to Carter when my phone rang, breaking my stride.
Bass
.

“Hi, babe!”

“I know we agreed to see each other tomorrow for the premier, but is it possible if you could stay here with me tonight?”

“What’s the matter?” We had agreed about this two nights ago.

“This is embarrassing… and I know it’s been only a day, but I miss you, okay?”

“I miss you, too, babe.” I paused for a tad bit when I saw Carter almost running towards me.

“You’re back!” Carter’s excited grin greeted me from afar.

“I have to go, I’ll call you back,” I hastily said before hanging up on Bass.

I owed Carter an explanation. He deserved that much, especially after how much he’d helped me through my ordeal. When he finally reached me, I was enveloped by his big hug. “I’ve missed you, Em.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Carter.” I did. For months, he became my friend. I just hoped that the friendship we built wasn’t going to affect what I had to tell him.

He was busy telling me about his day as we entered his home and walked towards his room. I was smiling at his enthusiasm before I sat on his bed, opposing him as he leaned against the wall, grinning at me. “I did tell you I missed you like crazy, right?”

“You did.” I smiled, but it didn’t reach my eyes. My palms started to rub against my jean skirt as I tried to gather up the courage to bring the news to him. “Carter…” I licked my lips before looking up at him. I saw his smile form into a frown, somehow knowing what I was about to tell him.

“He had a girlfriend, Emma… It wasn’t just sex. He had a fucking relationship.
He replaced you
. How could you still take him back?” Carter gutted out in pain, his body sliding south against the wall. “I had sex—I never tried to replace you. I chased after you for months. Unlike him…
why?
Why him and not me, Emma?”

I knelt next to him, hurting, too. “I love you, but he’s in here.” I rubbed a hand over my heart, choked up. “I’m in love with him, but I don’t want you waiting on me, Carter. If you really love me, you’ll at least try to move on.”

“How can you ask me to stop loving you when I don’t even know where it starts or where it ends? You’ve blinded me, Emma.”

“I have to see it until the end with him. I will never move on if I don’t. Regrets… I had so many with him. I have so many to make up. I owe him this last chance after what I put him through.”

“Then I’ll wait for you. Bass didn’t just have sex with another woman, Emma. He had both physical and emotional intimacy. You know more than anyone how hard it is to cut the emotional tie compared to the physical one.” He was teary before he crushed me in his arms. “I’m going to be here, waiting. Whether you come back to me or not, I will be here for you.”

“Please don’t—” I wiped his tears away. “Don’t do this to yourself, Carter.”

“I love you. That’s all I know right now and I’m telling you that I will be here, to pick you back up when you’re down and crying your eyes out.”

“Carter—”

“Go now, Em, before I change my mind about letting you go.”

I kissed him, my tears falling to the floor. “I love you. Thank you.”

“I love you, Emma.”

Chapter 33

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

                                     - Mother Teresa

Bass

“What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting up tomorrow?” Emma asked.

“I had to see you since I had a feeling that you would see him. You
were
with him, weren’t you?” I had to ask, even if my entire gut was telling me that she was.

All of my insecurities came crashing down the second I heard a male voice call out her name like she was his sun. It took me a good second before I rushed out of my house, gunning down the 101 Freeway, swerving through traffic to get here, fast.

The snake wasn’t going to take what was mine, over my dead body.

She nodded, wiping her tears. “Yeah… I was with Carter.”

What’s with the tears?
Were they for me?
Did that mean… that she changed her mind after she saw Carter? Fucking hell.

“It was always him. For once,
choose me
. Make me your man, Emma.” I cupped her cheeks, pleading, losing my composure, a breath away from breaking. “My heart only ever knew you. It’s always been you—right now, yesterday, tomorrow and forever—
it’s you
.”

“I already did! What are you blabbering about? I was saying goodbye to him.” She sniffed as I hugged her tighter, beyond relieved at her confession. “He’s hurting, Bass.”

Fucking hell. That was the worst sixty minutes of my life, I thought as I held the only thing that mattered to me. “Forgive me, Emma. I’m so sorry for letting you go. We wouldn’t be in this position if I had given you another chance. I could’ve saved us a lot of hurt.”

“I know, but what’s done is done. We’re already here and there’s nowhere else to go except to move forward,” she whispered against my neck, kissing it softly. “I can endure a lot of things, Bass, but if you break my heart again, not only will I break yours, but I’ll make sure it doesn’t beat again.”

Pulling her slightly away, facing her as I cupped her cheek, I simply couldn’t help gushing when my heart contracted at the sight of her with me again. There were times in the last week that I would wake up in the middle of the night, reaching out next to me just to make sure she really was there, making sure she wasn’t just a dream. “You’re passionate nature matches mine. Your promise reflects my own. If something was to happen, it’s comforting to know that your dead heart will be intertwined with my lifeless one,.” I vowed with ferocity. “My heart for yours, Emma.”

“My heart for yours,” she whispered before sealing the promise.

Dead or alive, our hearts were destined as one.

Chapter
34

Blasphemous Premier

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”

                                       - Judy Garland

Emma

My parents, bless them, couldn’t come out tonight and, frankly, I was relieved. I knew they were proud of me, but I’d rather that they didn’t see movies that had me exposing my breasts.

They surprised me earlier when they came out to see me in Bass’s home. He was so sneaky that I hadn’t known he had already
spoke to my parents. Apparently, he took the call when he knew it was my mother calling. Since they didn’t want to attend the premier, Bass invited them for lunch instead. He cooked while talking to my parents, entertaining them with his cheeseball jokes and, yeah, him with an apron on—working that sharp knife, chopping away like a pro—was damn sexy.

My parents were sold when they saw how Bass treated me. I suppose it really was the only thing that mattered to a parent, seeing their child with someone who cherished her the way the parents did.

Ants was here to do my hair and make-up, I was going to meet up with him later, but that man did a superb job. It was so fantastic that I was almost not petrified to walk the red carpet. My very first one.

“Stop fidgeting. You’ll be fine,” Bass tried to reassure me as he linked his hand with me, kissing it before it rested on his lap.

We were in the limo—on our way to the premier—together. Bass wanted to announce our relationship in a big way. So, I was nervous for a lot of things.

When I didn’t respond to him, he gripped my hand tighter.

“I will be right there with you, cheering you on and helping you ease your nerve-wracking tension.” He pulled me closer to him, melting my worries away.

“Thank you. For supporting me and for being an amazing man.” I reached out and lowered his head to mine, kissing him softly. 

When we got to Westwood Village, I was near passing out when I heard a lot of screams and commotion around us. Cameras everywhere flashed, blinding us for a second as we weaved our way towards the throng of reporters, bloggers and journalists. Thousands of my insecurities attacked me on the spot, and I couldn’t hold back a sigh when Bass was quickly there telling me sweet nothings, while holding his arm firmly around my hips as we walked on the red carpet.

The lady who did our interview in Aspasia went to greet us as she eyed where Bass’s hand was located.

“Good evening, Jill. Have you met my girlfriend yet?” Bass drawled proudly, making me palpitate with so much love for him right there on the spot.
Well
, pretty much for the rest of the night.

When it was time for the after party, I was breezing with ecstasy. It seemed that the movie was a success.

“Hey, you! Congratulations!” I glanced over and saw Lily along with Drake coming towards me.

“Oh, my gosh! You guys are finally together. Phew! I thought the last time I saw you in Aspasia, that if Drake didn’t get his way, he was going to kidnap and marry you,” I squealed, overjoyed.

I squealed again when she lifted her hand with her wedding band and engagement ring. “Holy crap! This rock is huge,” I exclaimed as I examined that bright, beautiful diamond.

Drake was so in love with Lily. It was all over his face when I met them. “I heard that women
can’t say no to big rocks. So, I had to get the biggest one if I needed her to say yes without thinking about it.”

Lily playfully nudged her hubby, rolling her eyes. “Don’t listen to him. He actually proposed in the kitchen, in our jammies and bad breath without a ring to speak of.”

Seeing them together gave me so much hope for the future. Last year, these two were about to kill each other. Looking at them now, they still bantered, but with love pouring everywhere. “We should get together sometime. Bass would love that. He’s here, somewhere.”

“We should. Text or call when you will be available, I mean you’re a movie star now. You’ll be busy and all,” Lily teased as we exchanged numbers. She was then off to look for Drake who was in the middle of talking to Martin.

Joining my friends, I wasn’t surprised to find them in a riot. “What’s happened now?” I looked at Taylor and Trista for answers, but Lindsey interjected.

“Amber said Claudine was gorgeous. I don’t know why she needed to say shit like that right in front of me.” Lindsey was of course jealous. She might not admit to it, but it was all there.

“Lindsey! You’re being such a pain. Grow the hell up!” Amber glared at her while Trista gave a nod, then stopped when Lindsey directed her a scathing glance.