Blog of a Bully (13 page)

We finished the taping job and stood back to admire our handiwork. We were also admiring how wonderful our drawing was. That’s when we realized we did it wrong. We’re not supposed to be able to see the picture we made. When Angela and her dad open the door, they should be greeted with the invitation.

It took us a little longer to reverse our hard work and redo it, but I’m sure it was worth whatever the outcome is. I still can’t believe a few straight-B students taped the poster on backward. We went home and slept. I’m sure Jacob went home and ate his midnight snack and breakfast together.

School was scary and nerve racking. We didn’t know what to expect from Angela or the principal. All we knew was we were very, very nervous. We went the whole day of school and didn’t get a response from Angela or her old man. They acted like nothing happened. Did the poster fall off and blow away or something? Did all of our hard work that made us so proud get flushed down the toilet? On my way home, I swung by Angela’s to see if the poster was gone, and it was. So what happened, I don’t know, but I hope I find out soon because the suspense is killing me.

If you are in a hurry, you may never get there.

I just want Angela to hurry up and respond just to put my wondering mind out of its misery.

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

5:45 p.m.

Nothing

Today I rode the bus to get more information from Hercules. Yes, he had some, along with more bad news. The general news is that Tim and Donald are planning a big, mean prank that will cause some damage. The bad news is that Hercules told them he wanted nothing to do with it, so they officially kicked out Hercules. It’s not like he participated in the other pranks but he knew what Donald and Tim were planning. This time, he doesn’t know what they’re planning because he’s kicked out. Now I no longer have an inside man. I told Hercules to hang with us for a bit. I didn’t want him to fly solo and start his own group to fight the other groups. I don’t want this turning into gangs or something. This is really getting out of hand.

As for Angela and her old man, NOTHING! They still act normal, like nothing happened, and it is really making us wonder what did happen. What do you think happened to the poster? Did Angela get it? Did her dad get it first and trash it? What happened? Maybe that night we should have brought a ton of food and left Jacob there to watch what happened. The dance is coming up, and so far Buzz doesn’t have a date. Come to think about it, I don’t have a date either. I don’t need one. I will be happy going by myself. I’m going stag.

Good luck is the result of good planning.

Then I should be Lady Luck herself.

Friday, April 15th, 2011

11:12 p.m.

Judgment Day

My dear readers, your comments have been brilliant as usual. A lot of you said yes, Angela got the poster and will reply in a unique way. Some of you said the old man tore down the poster and trashed it before Angela could see it. And there are few of you who went out of your way to be creative with your responses. This leads us to the winners of the week.

Our third-place winner is the person who said, “The old man found the poster before Angela, and to hide the evidence he pulled out a jar of hot sauce and ate the whole poster, tape and all.” Wonderful—and I think the hot sauce really gave it that extra kick.

Our second-place winner is the person who said, “Angela received the poster but didn’t want to go with Buzz, so she used Wite-Out to erase the message and used the same poster to ask another handsome boy to the dance.” Why didn’t I think of that? Should I expect to open my door and see a poster? Or were you referring to Jacob?

Our first-place winner is the person who said, “Neither Angela nor her dad saw the poster. Aliens came from another planet to take Angela’s dad back home on the mother ship when their mission was interrupted by a single poster blocking their path. Bubuhububoa (the captain of the ship) went to destroy the poster when he realized it was a beautiful work of art that belongs in the Galaxy of Art Museum. He assumed it was made by his long lost love, Beatrice, who now resides in an unknown galaxy, and he left immediately to find her to ask her for his toe nails back.” Man, whoever you are, I want you to write my blog, because you would do a better job than I do. You win. The week is yours, and so is my heart . . . What??

Now for what really happened. It was about 12:03:35 in the p.m. when Buzz was called to the principal’s office over the intercom. There was only a minute and twenty-five seconds left until lunch, but who’s counting. I couldn’t help but wonder if Buzz was about to get the reply we had been waiting for. Will Angela be in the room when the principal explains to Buzz that Buzz is being transferred to another school? Or will Angela and her dad take turns slapping Buzz in the face? I’m joking; principals don’t act that way, on account of their good principles. Yes, principals have principles.

Once the bell rang for lunch, I darted off like a greyhound chasing a rabbit.

I got to the principal’s office and just waited. All I could see was the silhouette of Buzz nodding his head. Luckily, I packed my own lunch today, so I just sat there waiting, eating, and waiting some more. I’m very good at waiting, but I wish they would have hurried up; I have better things to do with my lunchtime. Finally it happened; Buzz came walking out with an alarmed and stunned look on his face, as if he had just gotten the news that a bombshell had just landed on his favorite amusement park. Hey, I would be devastated too. I tried to ask him what had happened, but I couldn’t get the words past the bite of peanut butter sandwich I had just taken.

Then Buzz spoke, explaining that the principal would allow Buzz to go to the dance with Angela. My mouth dropped. Did Buzz’s plans really work? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Buzz went on to say that the principal is willing to forget Buzz’s past history as a bully if Buzz continues to make a genuine change, which means the principal would indeed allow Angela to go the dance with Buzz. The principal also wanted to know details on who else was going on this “group” outing. Buzz told him he had only thought this far with his plans and was eager for any advice. He was told that I and Jacob have to go to the dance with Buzz and that we both need partners.

I’m stressed out now. I need a date, and so does Jacob. I’m not a miracle worker here. Only one magic trick a year, people; that’s all I can do. We and our dates are to be at the principal’s house by 7:30 the night of the dance, and the principal will be our chaperone. Wonderful. This is more than I had bargained for.

Buzz tried taking over the workload by saying Jacob could go to the dance with Buzz’s younger sister, but that doesn’t get me off the hook. I can’t go with Jessica, and the girls at school hate me. What am I going to do? I wish Donald would hurry up and put me out of my misery.

If your desires are not extravagant, they will be granted.

When did I ever desire a date for the dance? Yeah, thought so.

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

8:16 p.m.

What Week Is It?

Where has this week gone? It seems like all of my teachers really piled on the work this week. Not to mention, I’m already stressed out about finding a girl to go with to the dance. I already asked out one girl in the usual manner: “You don’t have a date? That stinks. Well, I’ll go with you since no one else will.” Almost got slapped for that one.

Still nothing from Donald and Tim; just a bunch of dirty looks that are more aimed at Hercules than me, Buzz, and Jacob. Hercules really doesn’t want a part of any of this. He will sit with us at lunch, but that is it. He won’t come over to plan things; he just keeps to himself and minds his own business. I guess that is the smart thing to do.

As for Buzz and Angela, well, they have been sitting by each other at lunch ever since the old man gave her permission to go to the dance with Buzz. I have never seen Buzz talk so much about himself in all his life. I was surprised at some of the things he has done, like he went to space camp. I’ve always wanted to go. He is also a great listener. He could listen to Angela for hours.

Well, I am off to enjoy my weekend. Good Friday is tomorrow, and I am going to celebrate by sitting in my room worrying about who to ask to the dance. I have no one. I know some of my readers have offered to go with me, but I don’t know you. I only know what you type, and who knows if what you type is the truth? Who knows if what I’m typing is the truth? Hmmmmmmmwwwaaa. Wow, I just scared myself a little on that one. Everyone, have a Good Friday, get it? Good Friday . . . forget it.

To love is to forgive.

Does that mean the principal loves Buzz now?

Sunday, April 24th, 2011

9:39 p.m.

Easter

Now this is a holiday that I don’t understand. I don’t understand why there is an Easter bunny who has Easter eggs. In the real world, rabbits don’t lay eggs, chickens do. A rabbit is considered to be a warm-blooded mammal just like humans, and we don’t lay eggs. So I am confused why a bunny is hiding eggs. Who did the bunny steal the eggs from? Are there a million mother hens running around screaming, “My babies are gone,” or are the hens confused about why a pretty bunny, instead of a fox, is stealing their eggs? How did the bunny decorate the eggs without opposable thumbs? This whole thing just raises too many questions for my teenage mind. The only logical answer I can come up with is because it’s fun.

I think I’m right, because I had a blast. Jessica and I woke up and searched the house for our hidden Easter baskets full of candy. After finding them, we sat in front of the TV, watching morning cartoons and eating chocolate, marshmallows, jelly candy, and all sorts of things that I had to find in a layer of fake pink grass on the bottom of my basket. To be a kid again is great. Who cares about a bunny that walks on two feet instead of all four like a normal bunny? I got his goodies, and that’s all I care about.

Later on in the day, we dyed hard-boiled eggs and decorated them. There are some childish things in life you are never too old to do, and this is one of them. I love the smell of vinegar filling the house. Then the time came for our parents to hide the eggs. This is something else that never gets old, but my parents never hesitate to tell me I’m too old to find the Easter eggs. So I bargained with them. I told them I would give Jessica a ten-second head start, and they jacked the time up to five minutes. The eggs would be gone by then, so I finally got the time down to two minutes. When the time was up, I bolted. Jessica didn’t find any eggs after they released me. My dad got mad at me, and I hid the eggs I found. That was expected.

We had our traditional Easter pot roast dinner, and I did the usual: I asked why we don’t eat rabbit on Easter, and this year Jessica didn’t cry like she usually does. I love a good pot roast that cooks all day, smelling up the house with a carrot-and-potato smell. You know, even though I can’t figure out this holiday, I really enjoy it and all the fun activities that come with it.

Because you demand more from yourself, others respect you deeply.

Well then, I demand more eggs to dye.

Wednesday, April 27th, 2011

8:47 p.m.

Boy for Sale

Not much time left until the dance—it’s this Friday—and I still don’t have a date. Why do I need a date anyway? Can’t I go alone? Man, I need a date. One of my readers keeps insisting I go to the dance with her. I don’t know; I don’t think it’s a good idea to go out with someone you don’t know. You could say, well then what is a blind date? A blind date is usually recommended by a friend who actually knows the person, so if you trust your friend, then you should have no problem going on the blind date. I am not close friends with my computer, so I don’t trust anyone my computer tries to set me up on a blind date with.

Jacob has already asked Buzz’s sister, and they will be going with us. I am the only lonely person in the group. I would ask Angela if she knows anyone, but she is too busy talking to Buzz. I went ahead and got two tickets. One for me and one for my mystery guest. So now I am prepared for anything.

Nothing new with Donald and Tim. Still have no idea what they have planned and when their evil deeds will take place. I wonder if it will happen the last day of school. Well, Buzz and Angela told me instead of us meeting at her place at 7:30 p.m. on Friday, I should be there at 7:00 p.m. instead. Ok, I have nothing else to do. They told me to bring my date, and I snickered and walked off. Well, I can’t think anymore, so I’m out of here. Next time I write will be after the dance.

You will be invited to an exciting event.

Hey, that’s my job.