Blood and Clay (21 page)

He
had wanted to go to Lancaster with her but she had told him that his Uncle
would better receive just her. He had not wanted to let John Nutter down
either; he had been in failing health of late and had come to rely heavily on
Gabe.

“
Aye my sweet baby he will.
”

“
Then I
’
ll go. I will set off to Lancaster tonight to be there when
she is released.
”
Gabe was already on his feet. He did not want to waste any
more time without Lizzie. He had loved her for years and it had only been so
recent and so new to actually tell her that it seemed almost like a dream. He
didn
’
t intend to waste any more time being without her. He would
go to Lancaster and the second she was released he would marry her.

“
No Gabe. Stay here. It will not be that quick. She will be
in gaol a little while yet, maybe a week or so. Stay here and begin to plan
your life. She will come to you as soon as she can.
”

“
Aye ok Mam. If that is what you think. I do have much to
do, a house to find, a love token too perhaps. Aye I will wait and journey to
Lancaster Saturday week.
”

Alice
turned her back to her son. His face was radiant as he thought of the girl. He
was the most important thing in Alice
’
s life and what she had done she had
done for his good, to secure him a good future. The pain she felt at the pain
he would feel was almost crippling but she hid it. It would be a temporary pain
for both of them. Hopefully Jane would be able to ease that pain.

I
crouched in the corner of the room and pressed my body to the cold stone. It
gave me a sense of security to feel the solidity at my back. A very small sense
of security. The noise of shouting and screaming came from outside of the room
and bounced around my cell. The prisoners outside were hammering at the gaol
doors, trying to get out before whoever was trying to get in reached us.

I
prayed; my hands clasped so tightly I felt I might crush my bones. I seemed to
spend my life praying now. I prayed for forgiveness, for clarity, for mercy,
for my soul. I prayed now for safety. I had no idea if God was even listening
anymore. I was even resigned to my fate but something kept me believing. My
head tried to pull me to reality. I was going to die. My heart still clung to a
belief in God and a hope that I had repented enough for him to help me.

The
cell door flew open. I screamed then clamped my hand to my mouth to muffle the
sound which had surprised me almost as much as the door had. The prisoners were
still shouting outside my cell but now I could hear the voices of men, shouting
to get order.

The
Warden stood at the door. Two more men joined him, each one with a face full of
cuts and bruises. The Warden and his men wore matching smirks which terrified
me more that the screams. I tried to push myself further into the corner and
held my skirt tight around my scrunched up legs. The Warden laughed.

“
Ah, it isn
’
t my company you
’
ll be having tonight whelp. I thought
you might be missing your coven. Don
’
t say I never give you anything.
”

The
Warden stood back and his men threw two bundles into the room then slammed the
door. One of the bundles leapt to life, shrieking and calling then scratching
at the door. The bundle, which was now clearly a person, span around and looked
quickly around the room, half crouched like a trapped animal.

“
Mam!
”

She
ignored me and sat on the floor, rocking and cursing, stopping every now and
then to spit at the door. I wanted to know how she came to be here but I knew
better than to try and speak to her when she was like this. I turned my
attention to the heap of rags which had landed at my feet and realised that it
was Gran. She wasn
’
t moving and her breath was wheezing and rattling through
her spittle covered lips. She coughed and blood flew from her mouth to spatter
on the dirt floor and on her cheek. Her legs were little more than mush.

“
Gran?
”
I whispered. I reached out to touch her. As my fingers got
closer I stopped. I can
’
t remember ever having touched her. Not once in my whole
life. It didn
’
t seem right, or safe, to touch her. Not even with her eyes
closed. Even as the bag of bones that lay in front of me she scared me.

Then
I felt a push inside of me. As if the best part of my heart, the part which
still believed in God, told me to make the final move and help her. I couldn
’
t watch as someone suffered, even
her. I had left John Law because of fear and self preservation but now I had a
chance to make amends. I finally moved again and this time I touched her arm. I
was surprised at how thin it was; all baggy skin and bone. It shocked me and I
let my hand lie there for longer than I meant to. Gran suddenly moved and
groaned and her eyes fluttered open.

“
Lizzie
”
she croaked.
“
So we are caught. Our rescue plans
came to naught. I always knew you
’
d be the death of our family. You and
your pious ways. Why couldn
’
t you have accepted the Devil child?
”

“
Gran, I
’
m sorry.
”

“
Aye well sorry won
’
t save us will it lass? You stupid
little cow; you being sorry is what got us in here. Could have been great, the
power of three. It was there for our taking and you threw it away for your
damned guilt.
”

Though
Gran seemed to be struggling to speak, every word still dripped with hate and
malice.

“
I
’
m sorry
”
I whispered.

Perhaps
I shouldn
’
t have gone to apologise to him. Looking back it was selfish
to have done something to ease my own guilt when it meant putting my family at
risk. I had been kidding myself that I went to apologise because it was the
right thing to do but that wasn
’
t true. I
’
d gone to ease my own guilt and to buy favour from God. It
was to ease my own suffering not anyone else
’
s.

“
Sorry isn
’
t no good to me. I
’
m broken Lizard, I can feel it. My
bones aren
’
t where they should be inside. Got a good going over in the
fight I did. Then another when they questioned me. Aye my bones are all undone
they are but they won
’
t get away with it. I lay a curse on each and every one of
‘
em.
”

As
if to prove her injuries Gran coughed again and another spray of blood shot
from her mouth. This time hitting me in the face.

“
Shoulda beat your head on a wall the day you were born
Lizard. You
’
ve been bad luck since you came slithering into the world.
Gave your Mam a fever. Almost died she did. She's never been right since then.
”

“
Don
’
t Gran
”

“
Don
’
t you tell me what to do you little wart. I
’
m dying and there's nowt no-one can
do for me. Not Tibb and not your pathetic God. He turned his back on me a long
time ago.
”

Gran
closed her eyes again. Her breath came in shallow wheezes. Soon her breaths
were two or three seconds apart, then five, seven, then nothing. I counted to
ten and there was no breath. I started to pray for her to be forgiven, her soul
to be saved but then she made a heaving intake of breath, like a fish gasping
for air. Her eyes shot open.

“
Curses on you Lizard. I curse you to hang and curse your
soul to wander unloved and unforgiven for an eternity. I gift your soul to
TIbb.
”

I
gasped. Her eyes closed again. This time I forgot to count between the breaths.
My head spun. I didn
’
t want to believe that she had power over me. I didn
’
t want to believe in her powers at
all but I knew better. I had seen enough folk suffer and die at her hand to
know that her curses were real.

“
Ma!
”

I
heard Mam scream and snapped my attention back in time to see her throw herself
on the still body of Gran. I realised that I hadn
’
t been counting. When was the last
time she had taken a breath? It must have been more than seconds ago. Minutes?
Her eyes were open now, unblinking.

I
reached out to put my hand on Mam
’
s shoulder. She lay on top of Gran
and sobbed. As she felt the touch of my hand she whipped her head up. Her hands
were clutching onto Gran
’
s clothes, clenching and unclenching. She glared at me. I
shrank back from the hate and poison in her eyes. They were focussed for once,
this rarely happened and it made me stare. She looked almost normal.

“
You! It
’
s all your fault. I shoulda listened to Ma and got rid of
you. You
’
ll bring about the death of us all Lizard.
”

Mam
went back to sobbing over Gran
’
s body. I shuffled back to my corner feeling even lonelier
that I had before. I tried to feel sad for Mam and Gran but no feelings came. I
was empty. I was too exhausted to worry about the curse or the gallows
or...well, anything. Hugging my legs for warmth I pressed further into the
corner and closed my eyes. I tried to block all of the thoughts from my mind
and concentrate on imagining that I was in my tree in the clearing or lying on
the grass watching the shafts of sun coming through the canopy with Jennet.

“
Nettie! Where
’
s Nettie?
”
I cried. I couldn
’
t believe that I had forgotten about
her. Selfish, selfish, selfish.

Mam
ignored me. She was silent now but still lay half on top of Gran.

“
Nettie! Where is Nettie?
”

I
moved to Mama and shook her hard. I found I wasn
’
t scared of her anymore. What did I
have to lose? Roger Nowell was going to take my life and Gran had cursed my
soul. There was nothing that Mam could do to me to make it worse.

Mam
sat up and slapped me hard. I clasped my palm to my burning cheek and stared
hard at her. A coldness and calm fell over me.

“
Where
’
s Nettie?
”

“
Why don
’
t you ask your precious Mr Nowell? Found a new favourite he
has now. Our Jennet is smart as a whip and she don
’
t care for you no more than she cares
for the rest of us. Looking after herself now. I
’
d be proud of her if it weren
’
t my neck on the line. More guts than
you have ever had Lizard. You
’
ll soon see your precious Nettie.
”

“
Wake up witches
”

I
woke with a start as cold liquid hit my face. The Warden stood over me holding
an empty bowl with a last bit of liquid dripping from the rim. I sniffed and
wrinkled my nose as I realised that it was the chamber pot which the Warden had
emptied over me. My skin started to itch almost immediately.

“
You too, you bog eyed old crone
”
the Warden said as he kicked Mama in
the ribs. The kick made a sickening thudding noise. She grunted and woke up,
rubbing her eyes as she sat up.