Blood Awakening (18 page)

“I told you what I wanted. You didn’t want the same thing. The words may be different, but the meaning’s the same.”

“No, it’s not.” I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I could feel the vampire coiling inside me, getting ready to strike. No way could I let that happen, not here. “I do love you, Chance. You know I do.”

“Yeah, you keep telling me that.”

It was like a slap in the face. “But you don’t believe me?”

“How can I, Ava? When you won’t do whatever it takes to be with me? And when you’re falling for another guy right in front of my face?”

“I am not! I don’t love Erik. I love you.”

His eyes bore into me, the rage behind them mean and dangerous. “I never said it was Erik.” Mouth, meet foot. “Obviously he’s more on your mind than even you realize.” He stepped around me then, walking away just like he did last night. This time, though, I wasn’t letting him go.

“I don’t know what you think is going on between Erik and me,” I said once I caught up to him, “but you’re wrong. I don’t love him.”

“Maybe not yet. But you will.” He kept walking, bounding through the double doors leading to the courtyard. “Who knows, Ava. Maybe you loving Erik is a good thing. He’s obviously more suited for you than I am now.”

“How can you say that?”

He finally stopped walking and turned to face me. When he spoke, his voice was just above a whisper. “Because he’s human, Ava. Isn’t that what you want? To be human?”

“You’re human, too, Chance. You just don’t see it anymore.”

A quick laugh. “I couldn’t be farther from human right now. I’m a soulless, evil creature whose only reason for existing is to feed. It takes every ounce of control I have not to go on a killing spree every single day, that’s how bad I want to give in to what I am. That’s not human. I’m not human.” He paused, focused on the greying sky above us. “Like I said, it’s probably best you be with Erik. He loves you. I know it, you know it. Everybody knows it. Just try to forget about me. I’m no good anymore. He is.”

I let him walk away this time, my mind reeling from this sudden realization, my body too wounded by his words to move.

Chance wasn’t upset that I wanted to be human again.

He was upset that he couldn’t be.

The rest of the morning went by in a blur, and by lunchtime, I was more than ready for the day to be over. I hadn’t seen Chance since first period (lucky for me, it was the only class we shared till after lunch), for which I was very grateful. I couldn’t take any more of his looking down on me or accusing me of falling for Erik (I totally wasn’t, by the way. I think.). I decided not to eat anything during lunch, though, unsure of my queasy stomach, so I grabbed my copy of Gatsby, opting instead to read the half hour away. I found a relatively quiet spot just outside the cafeteria next to a tiny patch of tree-laden lawn, and was so into the book that I didn’t even hear the bell signaling the end of lunch. Luckily, a very nice exchange student told me it was time to go, so I smiled and gathered my things, ready for gym class. As I made my way across campus, I felt so awkward and out of place without Chance or Kayla to talk to. Chance had taken the rest of the day off (so jealous), and Kayla was doing some sort of extra credit for her math class during lunch (so not jealous) and we didn’t share gym, so I was alone. It was really the first time since Chance found me that night in the cemetery, and it was a very strange feeling. One I didn’t much care for. I vowed right then to not let it happen again.

Of course, I would choose solitude for the rest of eternity over having a conversation with the one person I never wanted to talk to: Lacey. I caught sight of her just before PE began, standing tall and blonde and popular as ever, laughing and giggling and tossing her hair with the Laceybots outside the gym. I couldn’t skip class, and there was no other way inside unless I scaled the building and went in through one of the windows along the top (which I seriously considered doing), so I had no choice but to face her and get it over with.

I was actually shocked when she didn’t speak to me as I swiftly moved past her and her entourage. I exhaled the pent-up air in my lungs once I was safely inside the gym and headed straight for the locker room to change. I nearly bowled Lacey over when I came bounding out.

“Geez, crazy, you wanna borrow my contacts?” Her long hair was pulled taut into a ponytail, bouncing gleefully behind her head. She was much taller than I remembered the last time she and I had a run in, seemingly towering over me.

I took a step back toward the locker room door. “Sorry, Lacey,” I said, trying my best to move around her and avoid the blowup I knew was coming. “I didn’t see you.”

“Yeah, obviously.” She spun around as I sidestepped her, that annoying ponytail swaying to and fro. “You think because he dumped your useless ass, that gives you the right to be rude?”

“No, I don’t. What gives you the right?” I was mad now. She was able to dig beneath my skin and irritate me faster than any vampire.

“You nearly knock me down, and I’m the one being rude? Wow, you really are self-centered.”

“Rude again. Gee, surprise.” Now I was being rude.

“Whatever. Just watch where the hell you’re going, got it?”

“Aye aye, captain.” I fake-saluted her, using a certain finger instead of my entire hand. I could almost feel her hands around my throat. It was no secret that the two of us didn’t like each other, so no one inside the gym even batted an eye at our little tiff. Lacey turned and walked away from me, and I headed to my usual seat in the top corner of the bleachers. She stopped me halfway there, though, shouting across the gym floor.

“Hey Ava!” she yelled, garnering the attention of almost everyone. “Since Chance dumped you like the trash you are, you won’t mind if he and I hook up, right?”

The next several minutes went by in a blur. I remember leaping down from the bleachers. I remember human-running across the gym floor toward Lacey. After that, things kind of go fuzzy. Obviously I did something, since Lacey was with the nurse, and I was with the school principal, but I couldn’t remember what. Oh well, it beat having to listen to her go on about Chance.

“I should suspend you, young lady, for what you did.” Principal Monroe was a stout old man, with thinning hair and rimless glasses that looked like pieces of oblong-shaped plastic hovering in front of his eyes. A large nose held the floating orbs in place, and thin lips rested just beneath them. All in all, he creeped me out. “You’re lucky I am sympathetic to your plight, and therefore am willing to be lenient with your punishment.”

My plight? What was he talking about? I wanted so badly to ask him to explain—and to fill me in on exactly what I had done to deserve punishment in the first place—but I kept my comments to myself. “Thank you, sir,” I said instead, going for nice, since I had apparently gone for bad already.

“Now, take this note home with you. I’ll need your parents to sign it and send it back with you.” He handed a piece of paper across his desk, staring at me with those beady eyes.

“I don’t have parents,” I said as I took the paper from him.

Principal Monroe’s eyes glazed over for a second before he realized what he’d said. “Yes, of course. My apologies.” He smiled at me, clasping his hands on his desk. “Have your guardian, Mrs. Harper, sign it for you. It’s a standard form, stating exactly what happened today and that you will be required to attend detention for two weeks. Be sure I get this back tomorrow, Ms. Blue.” His chipper attitude was nauseating, and as I left his office and met up with Kayla in the parking lot, I couldn’t help but wonder if Chance had compelled him right along with Mr. Powell.

And once again, my thoughts, like always, found their way to Chance. As I relived the events of the day over and over, trying to remember what I had done to Lacey, I kept hoping that once we were in Boston, working so closely together to find Kayla’s dad, Chance would somehow find a way to forgive me.

Silence filled the car as Kayla and I headed home. She was too busy focusing on the slushy, icy mess coating the road to talk (I mean, does it ever stop being cold here?), and I was sick to my stomach over being rejected by Chance twice in less than a day. I had thought when I woke up in that coffin a few months ago that life couldn’t possibly get any worse. Now, I looked back on that as a splinter on the tip of the wooden stake currently residing dead center of my chest. If only I could find a way to rip it out without leaving a gaping, bleeding hole, I’d be okay.

Much easier said than done.

A note clipped to the fridge door told us that Mrs. Harper was working late, and that dinner was in the oven (a really good casserole that normally I would’ve devoured, but now I could barely think of eating). As Kayla quietly gathered plates, silverware and glasses and carried them into the living room so we could veg out in front of the TV, I thumbed through my copy of The Great Gatsby for about the tenth time, hoping to find something hidden within the pages that could help me figure out how to deal with my problems. Unfortunately, Daisy’s main issue wasn’t a vampire who hated the world. I was on my own.

“So,” Kayla said as the two of us sat on the couch eating dinner. Well, she was eating; I was pushing my food around on the plate. “How was it?” I knew she had been itching to ask me that question all day—I could practically see it on her face every time I looked at her—but I really didn’t want to delve into the world of Chance again.

“Fine.” I hated lying to her after all she had done for me. And I had every intention of telling her everything…one day. But right now, I just wanted to get lost in the world of the fictional characters on some of her favorite primetime dramas and totally forget about my lame excuse for a love life.

“BZZZT! Wrong answer.”

I actually jumped, almost spilling my casserole down my shirt. “What the heck was that?!”

“That was me telling you that you’re insane if you think you’re getting away with ‘Fine.’” She put her now-empty plate on the coffee table and tucked her legs beneath her on the couch. “Now, spill it. I wanna know what has you barely saying five words all night.”

“I don’t wanna get into it.” More mindless food pushing. “We always talk about me and my problems. Let’s talk about something else.”

“Okay, fine.” She gazed at the ceiling for a moment, then, “Why don’t we talk about Grease. Or Wicked. Ooh, or maybe Cats!”

“Okay, okay, I surrender. Please, don’t torture me.” I couldn’t deal with show tunes, not now.

“Then spill.” I did my best to fill Kayla in on what had gone down today with Chance, pausing when she gasped and even calming her down when she got mad at him. By the time I was done recapping, I was exhausted.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed,” I said, scooping up her plate and carrying it and mine to the kitchen. I scraped the food left on mine into the trash and put them both in the sink. I hated leaving dirty dishes behind for someone else to clean up, but I was too wiped out to care at the moment.

“Forgot to mention,” Kayla said as we readied ourselves for bed, “our trip to Boston is tomorrow.”

“What about school?”

“No worries. Chance worked his mojo again, got us excused. And Erik has no life, so he’s free.”

“Kayla, that’s mean.”

“You know I’m just joking. Of course he has a life…there’s just not much happening in it at the moment.” I cut my eyes at her and she smiled. “Point is, tomorrow we’ll be away from this stupid town. And you’ll have something else to think about besides Chance. Hey, at least you’ll be able to stay away from him, you know?”

“He’s going with us, remember?” I climbed beneath the covers, letting the warmth and safety of the sheets and thick comforter lull me into a blissful state.

“I know, but you won’t be trapped inside a building or classroom with him.”

“No, I’ll just be trapped in a tiny car with him there and back. Oh, and side-by-side with him the entire time we’re there. Ooh, can’t wait.”

“I’ll be there, though. I can run interference. Or pull you off to the bathroom any time I see you getting upset.”

“Thanks, Kayla, honestly. But we’re going for you, for your dad. I don’t want my problems on your mind.” She dropped her shoulders and tilted her head at me. “I’ll be fine. Promise.”