Blood Haze (18 page)

Chapter 9

It
took her three days to pack-up her brother’s apartment. More often than not,
she’d take whole drawers and empty them into a box. She just couldn’t bear to
invade his privacy any more than that, as stupid as that seemed. Every day, she
loaded the boxes into her catering van and drove them to her house and unloaded
them, placing them in Ian’s old room. One day soon, she’d go through them and
figure out what to keep and what to get rid of.

During
these three days, while she’d heard from Drew too many times, she’d not heard
from Lynx at all. She tried to remember that
this
was what she’d agreed to, but it still hurt. Her stomach
stayed in knots at the uncertainty of her
situation
(not relationship) with him. He’d said they’d continue as long as it pleased
him, maybe that time was now over and he’d moved on. How would she know?

Her
cellphone rang and now she was at the point she no longer got a catch in heart
that it might be Lynx… she knew better, it wouldn’t be. Glancing at it, she
heaved a heavy sigh,
Drew
.

“Hey,”
she said without preamble.

“How’d
the Benson’s party go?” he asked.

She
rubbed a hand over face as exhaustion coursed through her. She’d gotten up
early to clean Ian’s apartment before coming back to prepare for a catering job
for forty people. Now, she needed to shower and get ready for her set at the
Night Owl. She really didn’t want to talk to Drew. She felt bad every time she
had these thoughts. He’d always been there for her and Ian.

“It
was fine,” she finally said.

“Are
you ever going to come by?” he asked.

She
didn’t answer for a long moment. “I don’t think so,” she said simply.

“Ara…
I want to see you. Please come by.”

“What’s
the point?”

“I
don’t know why you’re being so hard about this,” he said.

“I’m
sure you don’t,” she said coolly.

“Fine!
Then I’ll come to you,” he said forcefully.

“I
have to work tonight.”

“Then
I’m coming over in the morning. You will talk to me. You can’t negate a whole
lifetime over one stupid mistake!”

Her
heart clinched in her chest.
One stupid
mistake in exchange for her brother’s life. One stupid mistake in exchange for
her
. But she was tired of fighting with him about this. She was done. Not
that she didn’t appreciate the irony of the situation - she didn’t want him…
and the person she wanted she couldn’t have.

“Please
don’t come by. We’ve said all that needs to be said,” she said quietly, none of
her feelings bleeding through.

“I
don’t accept that,” he said firmly.

“So,
you’ve said.”

“Ara…
please,” he begged.

“Drew…
I… I need to go to work. I’ll talk to you later,” she said as she clicked her
phone off, knowing she had no intention of speaking to him.

She
pushed herself up and began to prepare for the club. She’d been so busy with
Ian’s things and her catering jobs, her laundry was beginning to pile up. She
was forced to dig in the back of her closet to find something suitable. She
dressed quickly, swept her hair up in an elegant twist, and headed off. She’d
known, no matter what, that she could no longer sing at the club. She knew
things with Lynx wouldn’t last forever, and that it was better to have a plan in
place to avoid him. This was step-one. After much arguing from Karmyl, she’d
finally agreed to continue until they could hire another singer. She figured
she’d have to continue for another couple of weeks.

The
club looked busy for a Thursday night. She lifted a hand to Tobias, behind the bar,
who flagged her down. She stopped with a small smile.

“Karmyl
had that benefit for the shelter tonight, she left me your check. Stop after
you’re done and I’ll give it to you, alright?” he said.

“Oh,
I forgot about the banquet. Yeah, thanks, I’ll be back shortly,” she replied
before continuing on to go store her items.

Her
dressing room sounded much more glamorous than the closet-sized room it was.
But she was thrilled to have even that much privacy. She sat at her minuscule
dressing table and waited until the last possible second before going out. She
didn’t want to face anyone. It had been a long week.

Glancing
one last time at the clock, she stood and smoothed the red silk of her haltered-top
dress. The high slit shifted to reveal her pale thigh. She adjusted the top as
it clung to her slim frame, outlining her ample breasts, before nipping at her
waist. She closed the door and went to stand at the edge of the stage until she
was due up. She glanced around the room, telling herself she wasn’t looking for
him
, but was instantly stabbed with
disappointment when she didn’t see his sexy dark-haired head. The tables were filled
with couples, the low-light of the candles on each table flickering over their
faces. She resolutely turned her mind away from them. She was here to do a job.

She
moved across the stage, gave a small smile and wave to Tommy, before continuing
to the microphone. As she’d done a thousand times, she wrapped her hands around
the stand and bowed her head until the music began. She sang the familiar songs
and swayed to the sultry music. She kept her eyes demurely lowered, not that
she’d have been able to see anyone in the audience anyway.

Halfway
through their set, she and Tommy took a fifteen-minute break, as was their
custom. She headed toward the bar where Tobias had a tall glass of
room-temperature water with a teaspoon of honey mixed in waiting for her. She
drank the water quickly and it immediately soothed her throat. She lifted a
hand unconsciously to the small wounds on her neck. They seemed to have gotten
worse since her attack. She noticed it right after the morning she’d been with
Lynx. She’d wondered if maybe he’d irritated the punctures with his beard… or
his lips. She inhaled sharply at the memory of his lips and tongue against her
sensitive flesh.

She
spun in her seat at the bar and glanced once more around the room, hoping that
maybe, just maybe he’d be there. Instead of his dark sultry eyes, her eyes
encountered Drew’s green ones. He was seated at the back of the club in a place
which would accommodate his casted-leg. He saluted her with his glass. Her lips
thinned and she exhaled. Pain, raw and visceral burned deep in her belly. She
knew she was being unfair, but seeing him reminded her of all she’d lost, and
she didn’t know if she could bear seeing him. However, knowing he’d not just go
away, she slid from the stool and slowly made her way to his table. He smiled
hesitantly, and she returned it in kind.

“I’m
surprised to see you here,” she said.

“I
told you I wanted to see you.”

“This
isn’t a good time. I’m here to work,” she told him with mild rebuke.

“Ara…
how can you throw everything away like this? We were together a long time…
we’ve been through a lot together,” he said, hurt lacing his words.

She
blinked up at him as his words ran like lava over her skin. “Me? How can
I
throw it away?
I
didn’t do this…
you
did
this. You were such a coward. You left a damned voicemail on my phone,” she
said heatedly. Quickly, she glanced around as the volume of her voice hit her.
She didn’t need any more bad attention given to her.

“Ara…
I’m sorry. I was wrong. I don’t know how to fix this,” he said aguishly.

Her
heart twisted at both his tone and his words. They’d been friends for such a
long time – more than friends. He’d been such a big part of her entire life.
The hole he’d left still hungered to be filled. It came to her in a rush… she
no longer wanted that hole filled by him… no, she hungered for another.

Swallowing
at her own selfishness, as emotions swirled around her, she finally said, “I… I
need time. Give me time.”

“Ara…”
he began.

“Drew,
please,” she pleaded.

He
stared into her face for a long moment. “Okay,” he finally whispered.

The
soft sounds of the sax filled the air. She glanced at the stage and saw Tommy nod
his head at her. Turning back, she said, “Drew… I’ve got to…” she trailed off.

“Go,”
he said.

She
gave him a small nod before turning and made her way quickly to the stage.
Surprisingly, she finished the set without mishaps. She closed her eyes and
bowed as the crowd applauded. She touched Tommy’s hand briefly before leaving
the stage. She glanced to where Drew had been and was sadly pleased to see him
no longer there.

She
stepped back up to the bar, leaning her forearms against its smooth edge,
waiting for Tobias to finish his current drink order so she could collect her
check and head home. She closed her eyes and bowed her head, laying it lightly
against her forearms. The day had been excruciatingly long. Cleaning out Ian’s
apartment had been like telling him goodbye all over again. It had eaten at
her. Then to have to end the day with a confrontation with Drew had just turned
an already bad day to an even worse one.

The
hairs on the back of her neck were her first indication of impeding danger. She
tensed involuntarily and raised her head. She flinched when she felt hands land
on her hips. Her eyes jerked up to the mirror positioned above the bar just in
time to see Lynx lean into her and press his lips against her nape. Her heart
began to beat against her chest like a hundred birds struggling to gain their
freedom. He inhaled deeply, slid his hands around her waist, and pulled her
firmly against his erection. She closed her eyes and struggled to breathe. When
she reopened them, she found herself staring into the fathomless depths of his eyes.

“Arabella,”
he murmured against her ear, causing ripples of need to float across her skin.

She
swallowed as desire swirled low in her belly.

“Cat
got your tongue,” he said with a chuckle.

She
couldn’t look away from his eyes. Even though she knew she should be furious at
him for ignoring her for three days, she found all she wanted was to be taken
by him.

“Dance
with me,” he murmured as he pressed his lips once again against her neck. She
trembled at the cool touch of his lips.

Without
waiting for an answer, he grabbed her hand still placed on the bar, and spun
her slowly. He smiled appreciatively at her dress as it swirled around her
legs, before tugging her toward the dance floor. It took her a moment to
realize he was wearing a black tuxedo. It fit his lean form superbly and
magnificently. She went willingly into his arms, placing her hands around his
neck. The dim lighting, made the atmosphere intimate and romantic.

“Breathe,
Arabella,” he said, with a grin.

“I…
I… I…” she struggled to say anything, but found it nearly impossible to string
two words together.

He
smiled down at her. “You what?”

She
swallowed hard at his devilish grin. “I’ve missed you,” she finally got out.

The
easy grin slipped slowly from his face. He leaned his head until it rested against
hers. “Oh, Arabella. What am I going to do with you,” he whispered against her
ear.

Her
mouth went dry at all the possibilities. With her heart pounding, in a small,
breathless voice, she whispered, “Whatever you want.”

Her
unexpected words caused him to falter for a split second. He inhaled sharply.
“God, woman!” Swinging around, he tugged her quickly behind him as he made his
way to her dressing room.

He’d
barely gotten the door shut and locked before he had his lips on hers. Almost
brutally, he shoved her against the far wall and thrust his tongue into her
mouth, ravishing her. When he finally pulled back, they were both breathing
hard. As if unable to help himself, he thrust his tongue back into her mouth
and ran his hands down the silky sides of her dress.

Catching
the material in his hands, it took everything in him not to rip the dress from
her body. Instead, he bunched it in his hands and slid it up her body. With
impatient fingers, he pushed aside her red, lacy panties. He groaned against
her lips when he found her wet. “Arabella, Arabella, Arabella,” he whispered
into her mouth.

She
whimpered when he removed his fingers from the spot of her desperate need.
Without breaking the kiss, he raised his hands and pulled the ends of the tie
at the back of her neck. The top slid down quickly. He broke away long enough
to take in her bare-chested nakedness. He lowered his lips to surround one rosy
tip with those cool lips of his. She shivered and buried her hands in his luxurious
hair. Every part of her body crying out for his touch… for his kiss.

He
kissed his way across her chest and graced her other breast to the same
treatment. She moaned and arched into him as fire ripped through her body. He
moved a hand between them and she heard the unzipping of his zipper.

“Wrap
your legs around me,” he whispered against her ear, seconds before his hands
landed on her bottom and picked her up effortlessly. She followed his direction
without question. “Shove you panties aside and put me inside you,” he directed.