Blood Haze (20 page)

He
couldn’t take his eyes from her. He was so afraid that if he looked away for
even a second, somehow, she’d slip away from him. He couldn’t take that chance.
He’d done something so utterly stupid… so utterly insane. He’d fallen in love
with her… with this fragile human.
God
!
What was he going to do? His mind kept going over all the pitfalls of entering
into this deadly relationship, but his heart wouldn’t listen. Seeing her like
this nearly destroyed him. He couldn’t risk it again. She was his, had been his
from the moment he’d seen her on that stage the very first night. He only hoped
she’d be able to forgive him for treating her so callously.

He
sat back in his chair, the memory of the night before filling his head. He’d
barely gotten back to the banquet… from being with her, when Karmyl had gotten
the call from Tobias that she’d been attacked, had been nearly drained. Tobias
hadn’t been the one to find her, so keeping what happened a secret from the
humans was impossible.

He
gotten to the hospital as fast as he could but the doctors had already begun a battery
of tests to determine the cause of so much blood loss. Of course, they’d found
no plausible reason. But that determination came only after his poor Arabella
had been poked and prodded. All he wanted to do was take her home to Night
Shade, wrap her in his gold sheets, and curl his body around her securely. Only
then, would he think her safe.

The
door opening forced him to take his eyes off her.

“How
is she?” Karmyl asked softly.

“A
lot of blood was taken.”

“Has
she awoken at all?” she asked, concern marring her features.

He
slowly shook his head, turning his eyes back to her.

Karmyl
moved to his side and sat on the arm of the chair, wrapping an arm around his
shoulders. “She looks so peaceful. So beautiful, like a china-doll.”

“
For beauty is nothing but the beginning of
terror
,” he quoted.

“Who
said that?” she asked.

“Rainer
Rilke in his
Duino Elegies
,” he
replied in his high-cultured voice. “I never understood it until now.”

“What
do you mean?” she asked.

“Men
and vamps alike would be drawn to her because of her beauty. And in both cases,
it didn’t turn out well.”

“I
see what you mean. But she’s strong. She’ll pull through this… will you?”

“I’m
not discussing this with you, Karmyl,” he said firmly.

She
pursed her lips. “That’s fine, but you’ll be explaining yourself soon enough
when the others arrive next week. This will not go over well with them.”

“This
is none of their business… or yours,” he snapped.

Throwing
her hands up in surrender, she said, “Hey, I’m on your side.”

He
rubbed a hand over his face. “I know, sorry. It’s been a long night.”

“Why
don’t you go home and get some sleep. I’ll stay here,” she suggested.

“No.
I’m not leaving her. As soon as she wakes, I’m taking her back to Night Shade.
She’s not safe on her own. She’s been attacked twice in the past week. I… I
won’t risk it again!”

“I
wonder how long she’s been fed upon?” she asked with a shake of head.

“Since
the first attack,” he said. “She had no marks before then,” he explained.

“And
you know this how,” she teased.

“I’m
not discussing this with you,” he said again.

She
laughed. “Yes, so you’ve said.”

“Go
home, Karmyl. I’ll call you if anything changes. Make sure things are prepared
for her arrival, okay?”

“Okay.”
She stood and walked to the door. Turning her head back to him, she said
softly, “Lynx? Can you handle this? With her?”

He
exhaled deeply at the loaded question. “I don’t know… I just don’t know.”

~X~

Her
head was pounding, and she was so dizzy she was sick to her stomach. She
swallowed to keep her stomach quiet knowing vomiting would intensify the pain
in her head. Her first thought was Lynx… always Lynx. She was so pathetic. Her
eyes flew open and she began to pant in terror as she remembered the attack.
The room was not dark, but very dim. She glanced around frantically and began
to hit out when unknown hands began trying to hold her down. Then she heard the
sexist, accented voice in the world. The voice that had the ability to destroy
her.

“Hey,
hey! Arabella. Calm down. You’re safe,” he murmured quietly. “You’re in the
hospital.”

She
whimpered as she sought out his eyes for reassurance.

Moving
slowly, so as not to startle her, he leaned back and placed his forearms on the
bedrail, then rested his chin against them. “Hey,” he said softly with a gentle
smile.

“Hey,”
she rasped.

“How
are you feeling?” he asked as he brushed the backs of his fingers over her
cheek.

She
flinched slightly. “Tired, stiff, headachy,” she murmured.

“Do
you remember what happened?” he asked.

She
gripped the sheet weakly within her hands. “Yes, she whispered.

“You’re
safe now. You don’t have to worry,” he promised.

“Did
they get him this time?” she asked hopefully.

He
exhaled. “I’m sorry, no.”

Tears
welled up in her eyes. “Why does this keep happening to me? What does that guy
want from me? He bit me… again. What’s up with that? I don’t understand. What
did I do?”

“This
isn’t your fault. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I should have stayed. I
don’t know what I was thinking. I’m so sorry, Arabella.”

“I
didn’t see him. He was waiting for me in the alley.” She shivered against the
memory.

He
pressed his lips against her forehead. “What can I do? Do you need anything?
Something to drink, perhaps?”

“Water?”
she croaked.

He
turned around and got her water-glass with the attached straw and fed the straw
between her lips. She whimpered as the pain of sucking made her head pound.

“Oh,
baby,” he crooned. “The nurse left these tablets for you. She said they’d help
with the headache and help you sleep.” Carefully, he helped her take them.

She
gulped them down and closed her eyes as exhaustion seemed to seep into her
every pore. More tired than she could ever remember, she didn’t even have the
energy to worry about her screwed-up situation with Lynx. Slowly, she drifted
away… far, far away.

Slowly
coming awake, he stretched his muscles, cramped from sitting in the same
position for so long. His eyes flickered open to be encapsulated into her
starling blue ones which held such immense sadness. He swallowed hard against
the tightening in his chest. She watched him without movement or comment.

As
he had the night before, he moved to lean against the rail. “Morning,” he said
with an easy smile.

She
blinked rapidly as tears trickled down from her eyes. She allowed her head to
loll away from him.

“Arabella?”

She
shook her head then groaned as the movement caused her head to ache.

“Arabella,
look at me,” he commanded softly.

“Please
go away,” she croaked.

Now
it was his turn to blink. In any scenario he’d played in his mind, this hadn’t
been one of them. “That’s not going to happen as long as you are here,” he
replied simply.

“Why?”
she whispered.

“Because
you belong to me,” he said emphatically. While he’d thought the words might
have a calming effect on her, he couldn’t have been more wrong.

A
sob broke from her lips. “I… I can’t… I’m sorry, but I can’t,” she cried. “I
know I promised, but I can’t do it.” She lifted a hand to press against her
head to abate its throbbing.

“Arabella,
you have to calm down. You’re very weak. As soon as the doctor comes in, I’m
taking you to Night Shade with me.”

“No,
no, no,” she moaned, as tears continued to streak down her face.

“Arabella,”
he commanded more sharply, “talk to me.”

“I
can’t do this anymore. Don’t you understand,” she implored him, slowly turning
her head to face him.

“Can’t
do what?”

“Whatever
this
is.”

He
studied her face for a long moment as he warred within himself. “I don’t want
this either,” he finally said.

She
inhaled sharply as pain exploded inside her at what she thought to be his
admittance. “I know.”

He
brushed her tears with his thumbs. “What do you want, Arabella?”

With
so much bravery, it took his breath away, she whispered, “You.”

Knowing
he was probably breaking every hospital rule, he gathered her into his arms,
being mindful of the tubes coming from her arms. “Oh, my beautiful Arabella! I
want you too,” he whispered against her temple before pressing soft kisses
there.

He
felt her shiver against him. “I need more. I need
real
.”

He
drew back to study her face as he contemplated his answer. He knew he should
let her go. Knew he should leave as she’d asked. But he couldn’t - wouldn’t -
leave her again. Tracing her bottom lip, he said, “A real relationship, uhh?”

“Yes,”
she whispered.

“A
couple?”

She
nodded and he dropped his eyes to their joined hands. Slowly, he pulled away to
stand. He turned to stare out the window pensively. He folded his arms across
his chest as he considered the best possible way to protect her… to keep her,
but not destroy her.

She
felt his distance and her heart began to pound erratically. She was nearly
panting by the time he turned back to her. She braced herself for the coming
hurt. She kept telling herself that it didn’t matter what he said. She could
handle this. She knew how he felt about relationships. He’d been very clear.
She just had to hold it together until he left. She kept repeating those three
words over and over:
hold it together…
hold it together
.

He
shoved his hand through his hair before shoving them deep in his pockets.
Pivoting on the balls of his feet, he turned back to her. Taking a deep breath,
he finally began to speak. But even before any words left his mouth, tears burned
her eyes. It appeared she’d not be holding it together until he left.

“Arabella…”
he began.

With
her chin wobbling, she interrupted him. “Listen, Lynx, it’s okay. Really, it
is. You told me… and I… I thought I could do it…”

“Arabella,”
he said sharply. “I want to be with you…So. Damned. Much. But marriage is off
the table. Can you agree to that?”

Her
eyes scrunched together as her mind tried to understand him. “Marriage?”

Slowly,
he nodded his head. “That won’t ever be an option for us. Can you live with
that?”

“But
we’d be together… just you and me?”

“Yes,”
he said.

“Exclusively?”
she asked begging for reassurance, knowing that having to share him would be a
deal breaker.

“There
will be no others for you,” he said sharply, misunderstanding her.

“And
you either?”

“Of
course not,” he replied, finally understanding her hesitation. He moved back to
his seat and intertwined their fingers. “To be clear, I want an exclusive
relationship with you. But I’ve already been married and it… didn’t end well. I
won’t ever marry again. Can you live with that?”

She
sucked in a deep breath and studied his eyes as happiness and relief exploded
in her chest. “Yes,” she finally managed to squeeze out. Her chest was heaving
in relief. The relief was so strong, it made her lightheaded.

He
moved forward and brushed his fingers against her cheek. A pensive expressive
clouded his features. “I… I want to ask you something. Did you recognize your
attacker? At all?”

She
tightened her grip on his fingers, her earlier relief vanishing. “I don’t
know,” she whimpered, not wanting to think about the man who was obviously some
type of nut-job.

“Arabella,”
he said softly, “You’re safe. Talk to me. I need to know. How else can I
protect you?”

Slowly
she sat up, the rush of blood from her head made her dizzy and slightly sick to
her stomach… or maybe it was the stress. To keep herself upright, she raised
her knees and wrapped her arms around them. “There
was
something about him that I knew. But I don’t know what it was.
He was just familiar to me in some way. But I never saw his face. I heard his
voice… I don’t know if I’d ever heard it before or not.” She was silent for a
moment then swung her head around to him so fast she wobbled. “Do you think
he’ll come after me again?” she gasped.

He
reached out a hand to steady her, then ran it soothingly up and down her back.
“I… I don’t know. Not if I can help it. You just need to be cautious. Okay?”