Blood of the Pure (Gaea) (6 page)

I sighed. If only things would be that easy people like me would never have to go through the shame and pain I had to endure that morning.

The first thing written on that recipe was ‘It’s advised to raise a Protection Circle. See page cccxxiii.’

I flipped through the pages once more, careful not to lose my love spell, and quickly read over the requirements to fulfill that second task. Once more it all sounded rather easy. According to the recipe, a Protection Circle had to be drawn in white or with salt. In the center, with its main point north, a pentagram should be included. The book even had some illustrations to help better understand the procedures.

Thinking it would probably be fun, and not wanting to admit a small part of me really wished it would actually work, I stood up, leaving the book on the bed, and ran down the stairs. I quickly put together the needed ingredients, including a small flask of sea salt my mother liked using on her cooking, a candle from the light failure prevention cupboard, a small kitchen knife and a glass with water. I went back up to my room and joined my potted plant, which I kept near the window, with the rest of my magical ingredients.

I stopped for a moment, looking at all those things lying before my feet and asked myself, what in the hell was I doing. But my eyes flew to the book and I shrugged. What could happen anyway? Those were all myths and legends. As real as God coming down from above to enter a piece of host during the Eucharist.

I opened a dresser drawer and looked for a compass. Marking the cardinal points on the floor, I filled a hand with sea salt and drew a perfect circle to the best of my abilities — starting east and going clockwise. I drew a pentagram on the inside and another circle on the outside. Next I copied the strange symbols as shown on the book, drawing them in the space between the two circles, this time counter clockwise, one at top of each of the pentagram’s vertices. When I was done I placed the book and the rest of the objects I’d gathered near me and lit the candle. I took off my shoes, took a deep breath and stepped into the circle, careful not to ruin any of my drawings. Peering towards the book, I read out loud:

“The Circle has no beginning and no end; it is in eternal balance. This is a time beyond time. This is a space beyond space. Here the Dream World and the Waking World meet and are one together. So may it be.”

I picked up the glass with water and gave three steps towards west, starting the greetings and evocations of the Guardians of the Elements. After the Guardian of the West, of the Element Water, came the Guardian of the South, of the Element Fire, which I honored with my candle. Next came East, of the Element Air, to which I offered some of my own breath. And last came the Guardian of the North, of the Element Earth, to which I gave a handful of dirt stolen from my potted plant.

“So may it be,” I read again and knelt, placing my hands over my chest like the recipe indicated. “I walk towards the darkness and lose all sense of materialness. I’m not blood, I’m not flesh, I’m not bones. I’m pure intuition, conscience and will. Around me I hear mountains rising and stones falling. I would recoil to protect myself but I do not have a body. I’m pure Soul, white light amongst the darkness of the universe.”

I stood up again and, always facing north and the head of my pentagram, gave five small steps backwards so I wouldn’t step out of the Circle. I knelt again and flipped through the pages back to my love spell.

The Circle where I stood should have the ability to protect me from the outside negative energies, and intensify my own inner energy, or so the book said. I placed the kitchen knife next to me and took a deep breath. The book said something about how to clean and consecrate the knife, but I jumped over that part. The purification process would take several days, including nights under the moonlight and some special herbs. I quickly read over the spell once more, making sure I had everything I needed, and focused on reading the magic words:

“Yog-Sothoth, Master of Dimensions, through you I now enter the World of Magic. To you, the one without face or features, I ask you to guide me through the night of your creation, so that I may contemplate the bonds that unite the Angels and the promise of the fulfillment of my will.”

I read, proceeding with the naming of the Nine Angels, creators of the secret worlds. When it was over I silently read the text that, in a different color, instructed what I had to do next. Holding my kitchen knife I pressed the point against my index finger and winced when the blade broke my skin. I squeezed my finger until a droplet of blood was formed and went back to the book for some more reading.

“With no blood, with no flesh, with no bones, listen to the voice of my Soul. That this bridge, between my life and I, may echo my will, so that it may be heard and fulfilled,” I claimed and frowned as I tried to decipher what had been written next. Inside the pentagram I drew the sign of the infinite with my bloodied finger and tried to read the next phrase without tangling my tongue. “
I’a k’nark ... Ishanyx ... kyr’w ... qu’ra ... cylth ... drehm’n ... El-ak.
”

As soon as I pronounced the last syllable, the five symbols I had drawn in between the two circles came alight, shining incandescently. As I looked completely stunned at what was happening right before my eyes, they exploded, throwing sea salt everywhere, almost as if the light had been too intense to be contained within the symbols. A windstorm took over my room like someone opened the windows to allow a cyclone in. I heard the book pages rustle as they were thrown from one side to another and the sound of the candle holder as it fell. Trying to make sense of everything, I shielded my eyes with one hand and looked towards the window that, to my disbelief, was still firmly shut. The strong wind destroyed the rest of the Circle and blew away all the papers on my desk. The bag with the new jersey Steph had forced me to buy fell on the ground. The roar all around was so strong I thought I would end up deaf, which meant it was no use screaming for help. And the speed of the whirlwind around me made it difficult to breathe. Above all, I was so shocked with what my eyes were seeing I couldn’t even think.

I raised my eyes to the origin of the windstorm and blinked twice to make sure of what was ... or wasn’t occurring. Floating right in front of my eyes, suspended in midair, at the center of what used to be a pentagram, was a black mass of nothingness. No color, no sound, no air. The nothingness was pure darkness spitting out that furious vortex of wind.

I couldn’t move, nor speak or even blink. I briefly thought I could only be dreaming, that somehow I had fallen asleep along the way and hadn’t even noticed it.

The nothingness that had been dark and round began to slowly stretch, and I asked myself if it would end up swallowing the whole room, and me with it! Finally it stopped growing and the wind subsided until everything was silent once again. The nothingness, however, hadn’t disappeared and, as I stared at it, started to look more like some kind of egg. In the silence my irregular breath became suddenly quite audible, as my heart ran desperately inside my chest. Unable to think about any of the possible consequences, I raised my right hand, which wouldn’t stop shaking, to touch it. That thing looked hard, but at the same time almost liquid. It looked soft and malleable. On the other hand, its shape was perfectly geometrical.

However, as soon as I touched it, a shrill shriek echoed through my room making me cover both ears. The dark egg exploded with that screeching sound and what stood in its place was even more terrifying.

I dragged myself along the floor, pulling away without even thinking, until I hit the wall. Even then I tried to get farther away, as if I could drill a hole somewhere and simply run away. My crazed eyes didn’t know where or what to look at. The only thing I could hear was my own breath, guaranteeing me I was still alive. The horror froze me inside, making me shiver uncontrollably, and erased all rational thoughts from my mind.

I suddenly saw arms and hands holding legs covered in black; a cascade of long black hair falling over bent knees pulled against a white chest. The skin I could see was inhumanely white. And worst of all, I saw dark glossy wings embracing a body protectively.

This was no dream! It was a nightmare from which I wished I could wake up as soon as possible!

But I didn’t wake up. And, as my eyes that I couldn’t for the life of me close began burning, the horror that completely ruled over me threatened to stop my heart from beating. Unable to move and utterly terrified, I watched as the inhuman figure slowly came to life. The arm around its knees fell to its side and the legs began to stretch, even though it still floated in midair. The black tunic it wore, looking more like a piece of satin wrapped around it, floated down with a gentle murmur, shocking vividly with the panic inside me.

It raised its head and I wanted to scream, run, cry ... anything ... but I simply stood there, trembling and powerless. I saw flashes of its face, but my eyes wouldn’t stop wandering around in sheer terror. And then its wings opened, like dark shadows ready to devour the entire world, and the deafening roar came back. I think I screamed. I should have. I remember closing my eyes tightly and thinking I would probably never open them again. The silence that followed convinced me I’d been right and that my life was over, and I silently gave thanks that at least it had been painless.

The sound of footsteps over broken glass startled me and the fear that momentarily left me came back to strangle my chest. Dreading what I was about to see, wishing I wouldn’t be able to do it, I opened my eyes to a scene of complete devastation.

My desk had been shattered in hundreds of small wooden pieces; my books were all over the floor, some lying opened, many torn, their white pages dancing lazily by the cold wind coming from the window. The window! Sure, it was still closed, but the glass was shattered into tiny bits that shone among the broken wood and torn pages.

A shadow leaned over me and, panicking, I recalled what I’d tried so hard to forget. Why hadn’t I simply fainted? Maybe I’d wake up the next day, cursing the irritating sound of the alarm clock, like any other day.

Unable to avoid it and wishing I didn’t have to, I turned my head, my stiff neck hurting, and looked at it ... at him. His face was as close to mine as Michael’s had been, the day before, but still I couldn’t see him. Without thinking I opened my mouth and took a deep breath so I could scream, but a cold hand with long fingers silenced me, almost suffocating me to death.

“Hush ... Since you’re going to die anyway, why not do it quietly?” he asked me in a low voice. I don’t know which startled me the most — that he could talk, that I could understand him or that his voice sounded as deep and soft as velvet. My eyes finally stopped wandering aimlessly and stared back at him. His eyes were frighteningly unreal, shining hypnotically in a violet color sparkled with red. “Hmm ... and to think that a small Human child, with no Magic whatsoever, would be able to release me from that Seal,” he mused sarcastically. I couldn’t help thinking that even with those words, his voice was really beautiful. “Nothing personal, Human. To tell you the truth, I’m even thankful. And I’m sorry I’m not the kind of being that can be evoked to fulfill your pathetic wishes. Just think of it as ... bad luck,” he added, sounding bleakly amused, and his eyes stretched out telling me that he’d probably smiled. “Your Soul belongs to me now,” he told me as he placed his other hand over my chest, crushing me against the wall. Pain shot through my ribs and I thought they were about to break. I tried to cough but I could hardly breathe, and my sight became blurry as I felt hot tears sliding down my cheeks.

Suddenly, and to my surprise, his hands were pulled away and I could finally cough while gasping for air. I pressed the ribs that hurt and winced as my lungs burnt.

“You!” His incredulous tone of accusation made me look up. He was holding his hand against his chest, as if he’d hurt himself, and my gaze wandered aimlessly again as terror ate at me from within. I think I saw him smile and a terrifying expression transformed his marble face. He kept his wings closed against his body and my stomach cramped, threatening to throw up my dinner. And then his fingers were holding me again, this time surrounding my neck, and I was sure that I’d just taken my last breath. “Change of plans!” he informed me and once again I became a prisoner of his crimson gaze. “I will establish a Contract with you. I will fulfill your pathetic wish. And, in return, your virginity is mine.”

My head blocked completely and everything around me was silent. I knew he was still speaking with that cold persistent smile on his lips, but I could no longer hear him. All tension left my body and I forgot to check if I was still breathing, if my heart still beat, if I was still among the living.

I followed his movements as he held my right hand and then leaned over my wrist, softly placing his lips against my skin. I screamed and new tears slid down my face, but I wasn’t able to even hear my own voice anymore. I knew I should have felt pain but didn’t. That body was mine but wasn’t. And, when he finally stopped talking, as if that had been the authorization my mind had been waiting for, I closed my eyes and gladly welcomed the cold silent darkness that finally enveloped me.

Chapter Two

RII

– Disruption of the Aeon of Osiris.
1
–

“I doubt myself and all my senses. I doubt the touch that feels his skin.

I doubt the smell that captures his scent. I doubt the taste that savors the air around him.

I doubt my hearing that listens to his melodic voice.

Finally I doubt even my sight that contemplates his fascinating figure.

I want to believe these are all illusions but the reality around me is

undeniable and I can’t stop feeling him everywhere, and at all times.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

he alarm clock rang and I took a deep breath, wishing I could simply ignore that irritating noise. I recalled I had to press a button to make it go away and stretched an arm, shivering with the cold outside my warm bed. As soon as silence returned, my arm fell limp beside the bed and I refused to think if I had to get up for school. For the first time in days I’d had a peaceful night, free from dreams that could only be called erotic and I couldn’t help sighing in relief, thinking I’d finally managed to get back to normal.

Suddenly, the events of the previous night came tumbling back into my mind and I was wide awake, sitting on my bed. I looked around, recalling that picture of devastation and was dumbfounded for a moment, since everything looked normal.

I was at a complete loss. My ribs still hurt, due to my unthinking sudden movement, and I got up pressuring them unconsciously. The muscles of my legs ached as well, as if I’d just run the marathon. But everything else was exactly the same, like always.

Everything was intact and in its rightful places. The glass of my window in one piece, the books arranged on the shelves. The bag with my new jersey on top my desk and, besides it, my handbag and the book the nice lady had given me. A shiver went down my spine as I looked at the floor still half panicking. But there was no Circle, no pentagram, no salt. No traces of candle wax, much less candles. No spilled glasses of water and my potted plant was where it belonged, near the window.

I slid a shaking hand over my face and took a deep breath. Had it all been a dream? Of course, I assured myself. The pain I felt was neither from hitting against walls nor from being tense for a too long. My physical condition had probably been worse than I’d thought and my muscles resented a whole afternoon of shopping from store to store.

I smiled, making fun of myself. I’d allowed that old woman’s tale to affect me so much that I’d ended up having a strange dream like that. And I tried to stop my hands from shaking.

“Mari? Are you awake?” My mother’s voice, coming from the ground floor, offered me a new sense of safety; her existence seemed proof enough that I was back to reality.

“Yes! I’ll be down in a minute!” I answered and jumped out of bed. My legs shook lightly and I forced my muscles to contract and obey.

When I took off my pajamas, something burnt on my hand, but I paid it no attention. I only really noticed it when, in the bathroom, I rolled up my sleeves to wash my face.

My heart stopped for a split second and then jumped into a frenzy. The bathroom spun around me and my legs threatened to give in under my own weight. I leaned against the sink, taking a deep breath, and faced my own pale refection as I tried to calm down. When I managed to recover some of my balance and the certainty that I wouldn’t simply drop to my knees, I raised my right hand and turned it slowly. There, over my wrist, a strange symbol had been marked in bright red, almost as if it had been burnt with a hot iron. My stomach lurched and I leaned against the sink once more. Had it been real? Impossible! I countered immediately trying to keep some hint of coherence. My room... I recalled seeing it completely destroyed and now there wasn’t the slightest trace of anything like that. But I also remembered seeing ... him, holding my hand and kissing me on that same exact place. But how could it be?

I shook my head, putting my thoughts in order, and decided it had all been a nightmare. I nodded confidently. That mark ... it was nothing but a strange burn, I justified. Something I’d probably done last night while cooking dinner and hadn’t even noticed. I was only seeing symbols because I was looking for them. Surely neither Rachel nor Steph would see anything like that should I show it to them. And the thought alone was enough to leave me frozen. With nervous hands, I opened one of the bathroom cabins, knocking down small flasks and cream tubes until I found what I was looking for. With clumsy gestures, due to the sudden panic that now filled me once again, I hurriedly wrapped the white bandage around my wrist. When I was finished, I took a deep breath and stupidly felt as if I’d rid myself of the sole proof able to deny my theory about last night’s events.

“Mari! You’re going to be late!” Rachel’s voice called me back to reality once again and I washed my face and combed my hair in record time.

I went down the stairs practically running and when I reached the kitchen, she was already on her way out.

“Good morning,” I said, catching her before she left and kissing her. She looked at me for a moment and then smiled.

“Good morning, sleepyhead. How was yesterday?” she asked, obviously curious, and I immediately erased all the less fortunate events from my head.

“Oh, it was good. I tried on lots of clothes and ended up buying a new jersey,” I reported with a smile and she nodded pleasingly.

“But you must have come back tiered. You went to bed so early,” she noted in a complaining tone. I was sure she’d hoped to find me awake so I could tell her all the news in detail.

“I’m sorry. But we walked all afternoon. My legs still ache.”

“Uh, you’re lacking exercise, young lady!” she criticized. “And by the way, thanks for dinner. Today I’ll be back earlier. And you’ll have to tell me everything!” she added, looking down at her wristwatch. “I have to go.”

“See you later,” I told her and Rachel kissed me on the forehead.

“Have a nice day, dear,” she wished me and almost ran to the door.

I took a deep breath and allowed my fake smile to wither away. I looked at the toast that awaited me and I didn’t think I’d be able to stomach it. Momentarily, I’d forgotten the reason behind that indisposition and decided I wouldn’t think about it any longer. Besides, my time was running short and so I put together all my things and left the house.

I kept my mind in complete silence as I walked to school. The sky seemed clearer than the day before, suggesting it might not rain. The air, on the other hand, was still cold, but there was almost no wind at all, which made it easier to endure the low temperature.

This would be a day like any other, I decided. I’d have Philosophy first period and then History. Next I’d have lunch in the cafeteria with everyone else, like usual. The subject of conversation would most likely be the afternoon we had spent together. I’d leave them earlier to spend some minutes of pure bliss, watching my love from afar and I’d make sure he wouldn’t even notice my presence. Then I’d go to the library and start on my homework while waiting for Steph and Joanne, who would still have one more class, so that we could return home together.

Establishing an order of events left me much calmer and I was feeling quite pleased with myself when I finally reached the school gates.

“So, it’s in this kind of place you spend most of your time.”

That voice paralyzed me instantly and my arms forgot the things they were supposed to be holding. From afar, I heard my books falling, and the ground escaped from under my feet. My heart was beating desperately, leaving me deaf, my breath uneven. My legs shook and I was certain they would end up giving in.

Slowly, I turned my head towards the voice as I assured myself I couldn’t have heard it, and froze completely, suddenly empty of all arguments that might help me deny it.

I saw him calmly sitting on one of the lowest tree branches, right beside me. He leaned slightly towards me, his long hair floating gently with the cold breeze, his gaze fixed on me. A soft smile of amusement touched his thin lips and I couldn’t help thinking that a bit more and his immaculately perfect, porcelain-like skin would end up cracking.

“Mari! What are you doing here? You’ll be late!” I heard Steph’s voice and, although I wished I could run away, or at least tell her to do so, I couldn’t move a single strand of hair. I felt a warm hand holding my arm and the sharp fear I felt made me dizzy when he turned his gaze towards Steph. “You OK? Feeling sick?” she asked me, sounding worried. I stopped breathing when she raised her head trying to see what I was looking at. He laughed and the sound of his laughter was deep, almost warm, even though his eyes had become even sharper, colder and crueler.

“No need to worry,” he said. “You’ll end up giving yourself a stroke, which would be a waste, after I decided to spare your life. Wouldn’t you agree?” I had no voice to respond. In truth, his voice simply ran through my central nervous system and I wasn’t fully aware of what his remarks meant at first. “She can’t see me. And I believe it would be best to answer her before she calls on someone to help you.” That sarcasm again.

“Mari!” I forced myself to look away from the tree, swearing I would never look at it again, and faced Steph, who was trying to shake me out from my stupor.

“I’m OK, Steph,” I replied, but my voice sounded as unreal as a robot’s from some science fiction movie.

“How’s that you’re OK?! You’re white like a piece of paper! And you’re shaking! Did anything happen?” she asked, looking at the tree once again, and I shook my head wishing she would stop doing that.

“I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep all too well. And I probably caught a bug or something,” I fibbed and bent down to grab my books. Steph helped me gather my things and took a deep breath, glad that I’d returned to my usual self.

“You were just standing here, looking at that tree.”

“I thought I saw a cat. But it was nothing,” I replied without thinking and his chuckle froze me again, my body too tense.

“You sure you’re OK? If you’re not feeling right, maybe you should go home. Or at least go to the infirmary and get some rest,” she suggested, genuinely worried, but I refused her advice once again.

“It’s nothing. Let’s go. We’re already late.” I tried as hard as I could to change the subject, and sighed in relief when I succeeded.

We ran inside, as I forced myself to only look forward without turning back to see if he was still there or if I’d been delusional. We climbed the stairs as fast as we could and entered the classroom with a river of apologies for our tardiness.

I sat at my desk and opened the notebook so it would look like I was paying attention, but my mind stared blankly at the empty lines. My wrist burnt and I closed my hands in two fists demanding some measure of control.

There was no escaping, I thought. Either I was going crazy or that creature really existed ... in the same world as Rachel, Steph, Michael and everyone else.

I refused the torrent of questions that flooded my brain, filling my head with
hows
and
whys
, and took a deep breath just to make sure I still maintained control over myself.