Blue Love (41 page)

Jade looked at Tessa she could tell something was wrong. Tessa smiled,
“Please tell Tommy Luke needs a friend right now,” she said clearing her throat and taking a deep breath, “and Jade right now I need to fall apart so can you come to the pond after you see that Tommy takes care of Luke please,” Tessa asked and walked out the door.

Chapter
23

The next week went by slowly. Each day the same, Tessa would wake and get breakfast ready and Luke would always thank her. She felt numb, she would come home after school and do her homework and chores and fix dinner. Tessa got the lead role in the
play Avita and her practice ran from six at night until nine.

Luke and Alex had basketball practice after school and he was home by five. Luke would do whatever he could to be in her presence and appear busy. When she left for practice he and Alex would shoot hoops or guns until she came home.

Tessa never told anyone about Sadi and Luke’s last night together, Jade and of course Tommy knew. Tessa would smile and make small talk and joke when other people were around but when Luke was alone with her she avoided him completely. They worked together on Saturdays at the Spot without many words exchanged. Tessa was secretly in agony and Luke missed her more and more everyday as he watched the only girl he ever loved quickly slipping away from him.

~

Tessa went up to Camp to clean for the big opening weekend celebration. She carried a bag full of cleaning products into camp and walked in. Luke was on the counter cleaning the windows and he turned as he heard someone walk through the door. Luke finished and jumped down.

“Oh hey Tessa did you come to help?” Luke asked.

He had the fire going and it was hot in there, which must be why his shirt was off, she thought.

“Yep, I do this every year,” Tessa said and forced a smile.

“
I know Alex told me, just thought I could get it done so you didn’t have to,” he said and looked down. “You do everything at the house and I thought I should pitch in since you have to deal with my sorry ass for the next two months,” Luke said trying to joke.

Tessa saw the black frame around the Doe camp sign that was now hanging above the fireplace. She smiled; he watched her eyes and saw what she was looking at.

“You like it?” he asked leaning on the counter and crossing his arms in front of him, “I thought it deserved a frame,” he said and smiled.

“
Looks good,” she said as she unpacked the bags of products and supplies.

He reached over and grabbed a bottle of Clorox and she bumped into him. She froze and so did he, she looked up at him and closed her eyes and took a deep breath, he smelled so good.

His hands were in the air and his eyes were closed as well. He was taking deep breaths. He opened his eyes and looked down into hers, his heart raced. They stared at each other for a long time, he swallowed hard, “Tessa I can’t move right now, so you’re going to have to,” Luke said in a whisper.

Tessa quickly moved underneath Luke
’s arm and walked outside to grab the groceries out of the truck, when she came back he was gone. She opened the back door to shake out a rug and he sat crouched down hugging his knees. She walked past him and shook the rug off the porch and turned and saw his eyes filled with tears. Luke clenched his jaw and looked up at her and shook his head. She couldn’t look away, her eyes filled and she dropped to her knees in front of him and began wiping his falling tears with her sleeve.

“
I am so sorry Tessa,” he said taking deep breaths.

“
Lucas,” she whispered “please don’t cry.”

“
Tessa, I have never felt this pain in my life, I feel like my heart is literally breaking into pieces and then I see you and feel the hate you have for me and I can’t even give you the space you deserve. I fucked up I am so sorry,” she hugged him, “Tessa don’t,” he said and cried.

She didn
’t let go. He finally relaxed and wrapped his arms around her and it felt so right.

“
I don’t hate you Lucas,” Tessa whispered.

She wanted to tell him she loved him and that she and he could work through this, that she would help him raise his child and they would get married one day and live happily ever after.

“I want to be your friend, it’s just going to take some time, sorry.”

“
You have nothing to be sorry for Tessa,” he said.

“
Okay, you’re right I am perfect. You are lucky to have me as a friend,” Tessa laughed, “but Luke I am lucky to have you too,” she stood up, “because without you it would take me all day to get this place clean,” she said and laughed.

She grabbed both his hands and pulled him up; she wiped his face with her sleeves and stared into his beautiful green eyes.

“Now would you please put a shirt on?” Tessa asked and turned walking into camp.

He knew she still loved him and selfishly, for now that was enough.

Tessa had her head phones on and was cleaning, he walked past her and ran to his SUV and wondered where she parked. He walked into camp and plugged in his Bose and taped her shoulder, she jumped and laughed.

“Share your music?” he asked.

“
Sure,” Tessa smiled and handed it to him.

Luke turned it on and looked at her playlist, he laughed.

“What’s so funny,” she asked feeling embarrassed.

“
You TT,” he said, “your playlist, I’m just not sure which one to choose from, it’s either get pumped, dance your ass off, goodnight tunes or,” he said as he scrolled down and shook his head, “fuck off LL”

“
I was mad,” Tessa said softly.

“
Can we listen to that one?” Luke asked and laughed.

“
Sure Luke, maybe you’re not LL,” Tessa said looking at him with both eyebrows raised.

“
Ok,” Luke said laughing and he flipped through the play list, he grinned and she continued to clean, he added three songs from his iTunes account and pressed play.

They cleaned and with each song he shook his head and smiled at her, Respect by Aretha, Hate
Everything About You, by Ugly kid Joe, I Hate Men by Cole Porter, Love Song by Tesla, Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl Jam, which shocked him.

“
You happy now?” Tessa asked and forced a smile.

“
No not yet, I added a couple for you, you know just in case you ever wanted to hate that jerk for a longer amount of time,” he smiled.

Pearl Jam
’s Black played and she sang along with it. “Good Song,” she said “a little dark though.”

“
Black actually,” he grinned and raised his eyebrows.

The next song was
“Hate Me” by Blue December.

She smiled,
“I like that song, I don’t think I have ever heard it before,” she said.

“
One of my favorites right now,” he smiled as he jumped down from the ladder, “Loft’s finished TT,” he said snapping her in the butt with the towel, “You are slacking,” she laughed.

Far
Behind by Candlebox played, she listens and scrubbed the walls by the fireplace that were caked with black with soot. She heard him singing and smiled.

The music stopped and he smiled,
“Did you like them?” he asked.

She smiled gently and shook her head yes.

“I am hungry, are you?” she shook her head no. “You haven’t eaten shit in two weeks Tessa.”

“
I haven’t been playing sports, I don’t need as much,” she said defending herself.

“
Okay as your friend I am telling you, you’ve lost weight and before you know it, those things are going to disappear,” he pointed to her boobs and she slapped his hand and they both laughed. “Come eat lunch with me,” he asked “Please,” he said and gave her puppy dog eyes and stuck his lower lip out slightly.

“
Fine,” she said and stomped. He grinned and held the door open for her.

She jumped in the SUV and he got in and buckled. He stared at her
“What?” she asked.

“
Buckle up baby,” he said, she rolled her eyes, “Sorry, buckle up TT.”

~

They drove down to town and stopped at the pizza place. He ordered for both of them and she sat at the table. He brought her milk and opened it and put a straw in it. “Does the body good,” he said and winked.

He brought back a large chicken salad sub and two slices of cheese pizza. He put a plate in front of her and half the sub. She took a deep breath, she really had not eaten much in the past couple weeks and she knew she couldn
’t eat all that, “Tessa just eat what you can,” he whispered. She took a bite and it tasted good. She smiled and chewed obnoxiously looking at him.

He laughed,
“Is it okay?”

“
Yes Luke it’s good, thank you,” she ate half of it and sat back and finished her milk. She watched him eat, and he crossed his eyes, she smirked and got up and went to the counter.

“
Hey can I get some paper to wrap the food up and a bag please,” she asked.

“
Anything else you want Tessa, my number maybe?” Matt asked and winked. She shook her head no, “one of these days you’re going to accept and make me the happiest boy in the world,” he said and smiled at her.

“
Don’t plan on it,” she said and laughed and smiled at him.

She walked back to the table and Luke was glaring at the kid behind the counter.
“Who is that?” he asked.

“
The boy I am going to give myself to first,” she whispered. He turned towards her and scowled, she was ginning.

“
Not funny Tessa,” he said seriously.

“
Hey Luke you’re my friend right so maybe we should be able to talk about stuff like this, what do you think?” she asked.

“
I think no,” he said. She laughed and got up to walk out.

She was still laughing when he got in the car.
“What?” he asked.

He buckled the seat belt and waited for her to. She looked at him
“What to you?”

He reached over and grabbed her seat belt and buckled it. She laughed,
“Oops, you’re a little obsessed with my seat belt,” Tessa said.

“
You’re the one who wakes me up screaming every night after that dream you have,” Luke said looking away.

“
I haven’t had that dream in a couple weeks,” she said and giggled.

“
You have had it every night,” he said and he looked serious.

“
Oh, I didn’t know,” she said quietly.

“
The first night I left it alone and the next day Kendall asked me why I didn’t help you anymore, she looked at me like she was pissed, ya know a lot like you do most of the time,” he smiled. She smiled and then looked confused, “So I have come in every night at about 2:30 in the morning, you really don’t remember this?” he laughed but he knew she didn’t.

“
No,” she said quietly.

“
Well we have had some fantastic conversations,” he said and grinned.

“
Like what?” she asked loudly.

“
I will never tell,” he said and raised his eyebrow.

“
That’s not fair,” she said looking away from him.

“
No, what’s not fair is the things you say and ask me to do to you while you’re sleeping,” he said and laughed.

“
Like what,” she asked with anger in her voice.

“
You getting mad TT,” he asked, she narrowed her eyes at him, “Let’s just say you’re in safe hands, even when I have to pull them away from your body as you ask me to, well, you are an absolute dream in your sleep,” he laughed.

“
Has anything happened?” she asked softly.

“
No baby, I would prefer you coherent, but my hands have been very close to your heart for many nights and you won’t let them go,” he said softly, “you also say some pretty sweet things in your sleep,” he laughed.

“
Hey Luke?” she swallowed hard.

“
Yes Tessa,” he responded.

“
I am very embarrassed, but thank you. Do I talk about what’s bugging me?” she asked.

“
Just four people in an accident, that’s all you’ve said besides you love me and you make me promise to be safe,” he said softly.

“
Every night?” she asked.

“
Every. Single. Night,” he said.

“
How long does it last?” she asked.

“
Until I hold you, kiss you, and you fall asleep,” he said in a deep soft voice.

“
So when do you leave my room?” she asked.