Blush (15 page)

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Authors: Lauren Jameson

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Maddy looked into his eyes, and he saw that she was both terrified and entranced.

“Still with me?” She nodded, and she seemed eager. Alex then slipped one finger past the small vibrator and into her.

“Oh!” Maddy gasped, and her inner muscles pulled at his finger. He murmured his approval and slid his finger out.

Fuck, but she felt good. So hot and tight and wet.

She groaned with disappointment, and he laughed softly.

“You’re so wet for me already, Maddy. It pleases me.” His free hand came out of his leather bag of tricks, and in it was a long, slender wand.

A small sound of protest escaped her lips, and Alex couldn’t help but smile. He knew how she felt. He wanted to be inside of her as much as she wanted him to be.

But he intended to drive her a little bit crazy first.

“Open for me.” He didn’t give her a choice as the slender wand replaced his finger. Slowly, he sheathed the slim length inside of her until the base was the only thing outside of her heat.

She shifted uncomfortably. He knew it was a bit longer than would be comfortable and was unyielding, unlike the flesh of an erection.

It would push her senses, giving her a knife edge of pain with the pleasure.

Alex placed the butterfly back over her clit and turned it on. The tiny vibrator hit both that small, supersensitive area of her flesh, as well as the base of the wand inside of her, forcing it to move in just the tiniest way.

“Oh my God.” She tried to close her legs in defense, but his hard thighs were between them, unyielding, holding her wide open for him. “Alex, no. That’s too much.”

“Give it a moment.” Her hips rocked restlessly against him, her body trying to adjust, to find comfort. He saw the moment her body gave way, the discomfort relaxing into pleasure.

She closed her eyes, holding her breath for one long moment. When she exhaled and again looked around, Alex gazed at her with deep satisfaction.

“Good girl.” He sensed her wariness when he opened his toy bag yet again.

“What are you doing?”

Stilling, he fixed her with a stern stare. “Little subs do not get to question their Doms.” Drawing out a small bottle of a viscous liquid tinted the palest green, he reached around to smack her once, on the ass. It was a reminder to be polite.

He loved the heat that rushed to her skin under his hand.

Maddy quieted, though her hips still shifted restlessly against him, making his cock jerk with tension. He couldn’t indulge himself, not yet. Right now he wanted to give her just enough to keep her needy and aching, but not enough to send her over the edge.

What he had in the bottle would give her the extra edge she needed.

Pulling up the part of the lid that kept the oil from spilling, he squirted a small amount onto the fingers of one hand. The scent of the mint oil always made him think of candy canes and iced tea in the summer. On his lap, she inhaled the refreshing smell, too, drawing the aroma into her lungs.

“This will be a little bit cold.” Slipping his fingers beneath the butterfly, Alex found her clit and began to rub.

“Oh. Yes.” Maddy arched into the touch as he played his fingers over her clit. He loved how responsive she was. Taking the hard nub of her clit between both his forefinger and thumb, he rolled the tissue, working her until she was groaning and writhing against him. The oil allowed him to slide in all the right ways, and he took full advantage.

“You’re so responsive. It’s beautiful.”

She cursed when he retreated, then tensed.

Instead of smacking her bottom again, Alex chuckled and turned on the butterfly. Maddy’s soft moans turned to louder cries as it pressed against the wand inside of her.

From the oil on the skin of his fingers, he could judge the time it took for cool air to hit her clit. The sensation went from pleasantly cool to hot ice, and he drank in her strangled cry as her clit set on fire.

“No, please. Too much.” The purpose of the mint oil was to make the sweet burn of frost play over her clit, worked anew with each rolling vibration from the butterfly. He knew it was working from the way she rocked against him.

“Please.” Maddy leaned forward and buried her face in Alex’s bare chest. He found the gesture unexpectedly sweet.

“Please what, Maddy?” Replacing the bottle in his bag, he pulled out yet another, one that was nearly identical, except that its contents were the amber of whiskey.

Her eyes widened as she looked at it, and he let a wicked grin cross his lips. She would be desperate to come by now, but he wasn’t quite done torturing her yet.

“You’re so beautiful when you’re aroused.” Pressing kisses over each of her flushed cheeks, Alex squirted oil onto the hand that didn’t contain traces of mint oil. This time it smelled of spicy candy, of warm tea.

“Cinnamon.” Maddy’s voice was breathy with anticipation. She seemed to anticipate what he was about to do, because she arched her back, offering her gorgeous breasts to him.

“Lean back.” With one hand splayed over her back to support her, he urged her to arch her spine. Her bound hands framed her breasts, pushing them up and out like an offering.

“Look at me.” Her eyes were wide in the dim light. A cloud had passed over the moon leaving them in darkness. Shadows played over the sweet curves of her face.

God, but she was lovely.

“So sweet.” The hand with the cinnamon oil stroked over her collarbone, then down between her breasts as he painted liquid fire over her skin.

When his fingers reached her left nipple and painted the oil over the top of it, he watched as her busy mind finally stopped thinking, stopped analyzing, and just
felt
.

She murmured as he finished with one breast and moved to the other. She shifted restlessly, telling him that she was absorbing the sensations.

Then he blew a cool breath over the heated tips of her breasts. She jolted and cried out.

“What’s your safe word, Maddy?”

Her eyes flew open, and she blinked like a newly roused owl.

“Maddy.”

“Blackjack!” Her brow furrowed. “Why?”

“Don’t question your Dom.” One more smack on her buttocks. The crack of his hand against Maddy’s naked flesh cut the heavy silence in the room like a clap of thunder, and at the same time he turned up the intensity of the vibrator.

“Ahh! Ahh, ahh, ahh!” She clenched her legs on either side of his thighs, which served only to drive the wand inside of her in farther. She shook her head wildly.

Alex caught her chin in his hand and, dipping his head, took her lips in a steamy, possessive kiss that was hotter than the burn of the cinnamon.

“Come for me, Maddy.” He pulled away from the kiss just long enough to whisper this against her lips and to turn up the intensity of the vibrator.

Throwing her head back with abandon, she closed her eyes and pressed into him, blind to everything but Alex and her release. Shudders continued to rock her as the release worked through her. When the tremors subsided, she fell against him, in her own little world.

A stream of tears had cascaded down her cheeks when she came.

“I’m sorry. I don’t—I mean, I liked . . .” Maddy buried her face in Alex’s chest.

She seemed embarrassed, but he was proud of her for letting go.

“Tears are completely normal after an intense scene.” Wrecked, she clung to him, limp as a rag doll, as he unfastened the butterfly and, with the quick insertion of two fingers inside of her heat, removed the slender wand.

“How do you feel?” Alex pressed his forehead to hers, and the raw need in those ocean blue eyes of hers made his heart stutter.

This woman was under his skin. He wanted her, needed her now.

•   •   •

“G
ood. I feel good, I think.” Maddy shifted on his lap, her legs still open wide.

She
was
good, but at the same time, she didn’t feel quite complete.

Though he’d given her intense pleasure, she still craved the intimacy of being possessed by his body.

“Good girl.”

A rush of giddiness washed through Maddy at his praise.

“This was for your pleasure, to show you what I can do to you.” As he spoke, Alex worked a hand into his pants pocket and came out with the foil wrapper of a condom. Tearing it with his teeth, he rolled it down his impossibly hard length, then grasped the silk that still bound Maddy’s wrists.

“This time it will be for both of us. I want you so badly, I can’t hold back anymore.” Tilting his hips up, he slid the head of his cock through her lower lips, then pressed against her tight opening.

“Yes.” She’d thought she was too tired for more, but her pulse again quickened as he seated himself quickly in her impossible wetness. Together they groaned aloud, reveling in the unique fit of their bodies together.

He was so big that he stretched her to the point of pain, a sensation that Maddy found made her wild with need. In return, she could feel her tightness pulsing around his turgid erection, pulling at his flesh, urging him to move.

They fit like they were made for each other, like their bodies had been designed for nothing but to give each other pleasure.

“More.” Maddy had opened her mouth merely to sigh, and instead found herself looking straight into Alex’s eyes. This, all of this—this was exactly what she wanted. The pleasure with the edge of pain, the incessant onslaught of sensation, the feel of Alex, his smell, his kiss.

She felt alive in a way that she hadn’t since before the accident.

It felt amazing.

Growling, he placed one hand on her hip to hold her still, his touch firm enough to tell her that he and he alone would set the pace.

Bending, she nipped at his neck and rubbed up against him shamelessly.

Their eyes met, and sensation took over.

Alex thrust his pelvis upward, slamming into Maddy hard enough that she knew her inner thighs would have bruises come morning. She met every rock of his hips with a downward thrust, ensuring that he pushed inside her as far as he could, loving the way her body gave way to make room for his impossible length.

His one hand held tight to the bondages that held her wrists, a reminder that he was the one in charge of her pleasure. His other hand skimmed over her nipples, her clit, the skin of her back and bottom, awakening her nerve endings and occasionally urging her into his thrusts even more deeply.

His low, heartrending groan told Maddy that he was getting close to release. She could feel the tension coiling tightly inside of her as well, for an impossible second time. The tops of his thighs smacked against the bottoms of hers as he began to move faster and faster, his fingers touching her wherever they could, finally fisting in the length of her ponytail and pulling.

Both of his hands splayed over her ass as he shouted and pushed inside of Maddy one final time. She could feel the spasms of his orgasm as he came, tightly sheathed in her heat.

“Sorry. You should come first. You make me lose control.” He rocked up gently with his hips, even as he continued to ride the wave of his own pleasure. The coarseness of his pubic hair rubbed against the wickedly sensitive nub of Maddy’s clit, and pure sensation washed over her for a second time.

They clung to each other for a long moment as the shudders subsided. Then Alex turned her head with fingers pressed gently to her cheek, turning her until she faced him.

“Mine.” There was no arrogance in his tone; it was a statement of fact.

Maddy was so wrecked that she couldn’t argue. She nodded in response and murmured in agreement to him. Laying her head on his shoulder, she drifted to sleep, Alex still deep inside of her.

CHAPTER NINE

W
hen Maddy awoke the next morning, the bed beside her was empty. For a moment her stomach clenched, thinking that Alex had left without saying goodbye. However, her apartment was so small that once she was fully awake, she could hear the sounds of someone moving around in the next room, and she relaxed when she realized that he was still there.

Easy, Maddy
. This was just sex. Still, she couldn’t help the ridiculous grin that threatened to split her face in two as she remembered what she’d done the night before.

She wanted more. She wanted to sign his agreement and grab hold of the way he made her feel.

It would probably be smart to read it first, though. Still, she grinned as she gingerly threw back the covers and slid off the mattress, wincing as her feet touched the floor. Though thorough, Alex was never gentle, treating her as though he expected her to be strong, and last night had been no exception. Her body felt bruised in several sensitive areas, but the lingering soreness brought a hint of a smile to her face as the naughty memories rioted around in her head.

The day she’d gone to the casino to play that game of blackjack, Maddy never would have guessed that she’d be brave enough to do something like this—to have a fling with a man like Alex Fraser. It was with not a little bit of pride that she smirked as she hastily used the toilet, ran a comb through her sex- and sleep-snarled hair, and brushed her teeth. She thought about getting dressed, but she knew that Alex would give her one of those looks of his and want to know why she felt the need to perfect herself for him.

In the end, she shrugged and tugged at the hem of the oversized T-shirt that she usually slept in. She’d loved falling asleep skin to skin with Alex, but had awoken in the middle of the night with icy fingers and toes.

“Good morning.” Alex was standing at her kitchen sink, looking out the small, dingy window. He turned when she entered the room, and Maddy was taken aback by the scowl that he displayed over the edge of the coffee mug.

“You have no groceries. How do you live like this?”

She wasn’t sure that required a real response and chose to keep quiet for the moment. So, cautiously, she edged into the room. She wasn’t very experienced with morning afters, and she had no idea how to act.

“Well, it’s just me here. I eat at the diner a lot. Joe likes to feed me.” She realized she had tiptoed into troubled waters as soon as Alex’s glower darkened, and she clamped her mouth shut. Clearly, the two men were at an impasse, one that would be easier to navigate if they were simply kept apart.

“I don’t like the way he looks at you.” Placing his coffee on the counter, Alex crossed the tiny room to where Maddy stood and caught her face in his hands.

“He doesn’t like the way you look at me, either.” Something dangerous flashed through Alex’s eyes, and a renewed attack of nerves seized her. She wondered if she’d gone too far, but he let it go, releasing her to open the refrigerator, remove an egg carton, a brown bag of what she knew must be shriveled mushrooms, and a partially used stick of butter.

“We’ll make use of this, but, Maddy, if this relationship is to go any further, you need to take better care of yourself. That involves grocery shopping—healthy groceries.”

It was strange to have someone looking out for her, and although she liked his concern, she wasn’t sure she cared for his order.

Still . . . after last night, she knew what he was going to do.

“You’re drinking out of a Buffy mug, you know.” It was the one she usually used, and it said WWBD

WHAT
WOULD
BUFFY
DO
?
in large block letters.

Maddy couldn’t hold back a slight chuckle as she pulled a second mug from the cupboard and poured herself some coffee. Alex turned the Buffy mug in his hands, looking puzzled. She wondered if billionaires did mundane things like watch television, though in her world, she couldn’t even imagine someone who didn’t know about one of her favorite shows of all time.

“Keep calm. Call Giles.”

Maddy blinked, not sure she’d heard right as Alex stared at her solemnly before taking another sip. He couldn’t quite hide a grin, and Maddy burst out in delighted laughter as she realized that he’d answered the cup’s query—he’d made a joke.

Strangely, it was the fact that he was familiar with something like a Joss Whedon show that pushed her the final step. Enjoying Alex might be a brand-new item on her list, but the opportunity was there, and she wanted to take it.

The words on the silly mug chanted in her head.

What would Buffy do?

Buffy would take the vampire—or the billionaire—by the horns and forge ahead.

“Maddy?” he prompted her as he scooped the eggs he’d made onto a plate, grabbed a fork, and carried the plate to the table. She was puzzled until he pulled her out of her chair, settled himself into it, then pulled her back down onto his lap. “What’s wrong?” He turned Maddy’s head so that she had to look at him.

She squirmed and could feel that her movements had an interesting effect on certain parts of his anatomy. “I can’t think when you touch me, and I want a clear head while I ask you something.”

She wanted to please him. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard.

Some things, though . . . some things she’d found online were a definite no-go, and that was what she needed to discuss, what she needed a clear head to negotiate with him.

“Very well.” After a long moment, Alex removed the steel band of his arm from around Maddy’s waist, letting her up. She didn’t make it more than a step before he clasped those long fingers of his around her wrist. Hooking his ankle behind the leg of the second chair at the small table, he drew it close to his own. “Sit. I still want you close to me.”

He wanted her close so that he could feed her, she realized a moment later when he moved a forkful of egg to her mouth. Obediently, she opened. Actually, she didn’t know how obedient she was being, because she was hungry and eating was something she wanted to do for herself.

“How much do I have to do what you say?” Maddy narrowed her eyes as she chewed the next bite that Alex fed her. Strange, but this was the third meal that they’d shared in this manner, and it was starting to feel almost normal, accepting bits of sustenance from his hand.

“Do you mean, will my dominance over you extend beyond the bedroom?”

Maddy nodded warily as thoughtfulness crossed his face. Though she liked the idea of having many of her decisions made for her, she also knew that she didn’t want to be under his total control. Panic surged through her at the thought, and her muscles tensed, something that Alex noticed.

“Easy.” Another bite of egg was delivered to Maddy’s mouth. “Well, there’s not a hard-and-fast rule for that, Maddy. It’s something we’ll have to work out on our own. I will say that I’ve never much cared for the idea of a full-time slave. I will enjoy making decisions for you in the bedroom, absolutely, and in some instances when we’re outside of it, too. But I need a break once in a while.”

“What do you mean?” She still couldn’t believe that she was actually having this discussion.

“Making all of the decisions for another person can be exhausting. I don’t like to do it one hundred percent of the time.” Relief washed over her. “So how about we start with your submission in the bedroom, where it already seems to be working, and we’ll figure out the rest as we go? Does that sound acceptable to you?”

Maddy contemplated, eyes fixed on her twisting fingers. She couldn’t believe the words that were tumbling to her lips were coming from her mouth.

“I think . . . I think I’d like . . .”
What would Buffy do, remember? Come on, Maddy, spit it out.
“I think I’d rather start with more control than less and rein it in if it’s not working.”

Alex looked surprised, but the surprise quickly melted into pleasure and heat. She was relieved that he wasn’t appalled or disgusted by her request.

The thought of relinquishing control over so many things that made her feel
out
of control every day . . . it was appealing on a very basic level. All she had to think about was pleasing him.

“You’re already pleasing me,” Alex murmured as if he had read Maddy’s thoughts. “As for time, I thought that we’d figure that out as we go as well. With my work, we’ll have to, since I don’t keep a very regular schedule, and there will be weekends . . . there will be times when I’m not available.”

Maddy frowned. There it was again, that secret that she’d picked up on. She
knew
it was none of her business, but the thought just popped into her mind, of how many other women would die to be in her place right now. They might even have agreed to all of his demands without protest, something she knew she wouldn’t and couldn’t do.

She tried to shake off the insecurity. She had enough to worry about right now without throwing in imaginary girlfriends for her . . . her lover.

That said . . . “Are we . . . I mean . . .” Alex raised his eyebrows, encouraging Maddy to finish. It was hard for her to spit out, but it was also one of the most important things that she had to say. “I don’t . . . I’m not comfortable with multiple partners.” She could feel the blush of scarlet rioting over her cheeks. “I mean . . . I know this isn’t a typical relationship. But I can’t be with you in that way unless . . .”

Alex leaned forward until his lips whispered over hers. They were warm and made her want to nip at them possessively. “I don’t believe in sleeping around.”

Unable to resist, Maddy leaned forward until they were actually kissing, his lips slanting over her own. He sampled her lips until she was out of breath, and her head spun as she sat back in her chair.

“Good.” Their eyes met, and the words questioning what, exactly, this relationship was were on the tip of Maddy’s tongue, but she forcibly swallowed them back.

“That said, some BDSM relationships involve sharing with other partners—voyeurism, swinging, ménage. I’m not interested in any of that for the long term, but if it intrigues you and will help open you up to your sexuality, then I’m open to it.”

“I’m not intrigued!” Maddy blurted hastily, and Alex cast her a
Methinks the lady doth protest too much
look.

And damn it, but he was right, as per usual. She didn’t know if she could ever actually follow through, but after the shock faded, she couldn’t get rid of the image of the hands of more than one man on her, of someone watching as Alex thrust deep inside of her.

“If it’s something I think you need, then I’ll arrange it, and we will do it.” His voice was matter-of-fact.

“Unless I use my safe word.”

Suddenly intense, Alex leaned forward and clasped both of her hands in his, those glacial pale eyes fixed on her own.

“Understand now, Maddy. You may use your safe word at any time, and I will stop. We’ll talk about what you’re experiencing. But if you decide to end whatever it is we’re doing, then that’s it. Forever.”

Maddy hissed in a breath; there went her safety net. “Why?” Her voice was soft. She felt incredibly vulnerable.

“Submission is about trust. You need to trust that I’m going to take care of you, that I’m going to push you to get you what you need, but that I won’t take you farther than you can handle. A safe word tossed out all the time negates the trust, so I don’t allow it.”

Holy hell
. She didn’t know if she could do this. She trusted him not to hurt her physically, and she trusted him to take care of her. But to trust him so entirely that she couldn’t pull away when she needed to, when those emotions from her past came rolling through like a fog . . .

Maddy wasn’t sure that she could do that. She wanted to, but she truly didn’t know if she could.

She could feel Alex’s eyes, evaluating her, assessing her in that way he had. She could see the need that simmered just below the surface for him, but he was holding it in check . . . for the moment.

“Before you sign, Maddy, understand this. Once you give control to me, I will immerse you. There isn’t a halfway point.”

Maddy swallowed against the sudden thickness in her throat. She wanted to. Everything in her wanted to.

“What are you thinking, Maddy?”

She knew that this was ultimately about sex for him, but when he looked at her like that, she felt as if she were the only woman in his world. She tried to look away, but he turned her back with one long finger pressed against her cheek.

“Maddy.” His voice was stern.

Maddy bit her lower lip, knowing that he wasn’t going to like what she was about to say. “I want to. I really want to. But . . . I’d like to talk this over with Dr. Gill before I jump in.”

Though he controlled it well, the slight flare of Alex’s nostrils and the dilation of his pupils, visible at this close range, alerted Maddy to the fact that, as she had guessed, he was not at all impressed.

“I would really rather you didn’t discuss it with the shrink.”

Even though she’d been expecting it, his words were a slap in the face. Maddy could feel irritation begin to simmer, an acidic burn in the pit of her stomach. “Her name is Dr. Gill. She is a
psychologist
.” She didn’t think the word
shrink
alone was all that derogatory, but the tone in Alex’s voice certainly was. “And she’s helped me a lot.”

Alex opened his mouth to say something else about Dr. Gill that she wouldn’t like, she was sure, but surprisingly, he choked it back before narrowing his eyes, his expression deadly serious.

“Fine. If you feel it is something that you need, I won’t say any more about it. But I would prefer that you not discuss me with the
psychologist
.”

Now Maddy was angry.

“What is your hang-up with therapists, Alex? She’s not some New Age quack. She’s got a doctorate. She’s smart. And without her suggestion that I make my list, I would never have met you!” Maddy bit her tongue as soon as she was done speaking. She wasn’t sure that she wanted Alex to know what a huge role he had played in her life in the brief time they’d known each other.

They glared at each other where they sat, nearly nose to nose at the tiny card table that sat in her kitchen. She wasn’t happy about his high-handed attitude.

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