Body Language: How to Read Others' Thoughts by Their Gestures (20 page)

Eighteen

Putting It All Together

Communication through body language has been going on for over a million years but has only been scientifically studied to any extent in the last twenty years or so; it became popular during the 1970s. By the end of this century it will have been ‘discovered’ by people throughout the world and I predict that its impact and meaning in human communication will be part of formal education. This book has served as an introduction to body language and I encourage you to seek further knowledge through your own research and experience and through the examples given.

Ultimately, society will be your best research and testing ground. Conscious observation of your own actions and those of others is the best way for each person to gain a better understanding of the communication methods of the earth’s most complex and interesting beast - man himself.

The remainder of this book is devoted to social and business situations and shows how gestures and body signals occur in clusters and the circumstances that may affect your interpretation. However, before you read the notes, study each picture sequence and see how many you can interpret through what you have read in this book. You will be amazed to find how much your perceptiveness has improved.

Clusters, Circumstances and Gestures in Daily Encounters

Figure 165
A good example of an openness cluster. The palms are fully exposed in the submissive position and the fingers are spread wide to give more impact to the gesture. The head is in the neutral position and the arms and legs are apart. This man is communicating a submissive, non-threatening attitude.

Figure 166
This is a classic deceit cluster. As he rubs his eye he looks away towards the floor and both eyebrows are raised to the disbelief position. His head is turned away and down, showing a negative attitude. He also has an insincere, tight-Tipped smile.

Figure 167
Inconsistency of gestures is obvious here. The man is smiling confidently as he crosses the room but one hand has crossed his body to play with his watch and form a partial arm barrier which shows that he is unsure of himself and/or his circumstances.

Figure 168
This woman disapproves of the person at whom she is looking. She has turned neither her head nor body toward him but is giving him a sideways glance with her head slightly down (disapproval), eyebrows slightly turned down (anger), a full arm-cross gesture (defensive) and the corners of her mouth are turned down.

Figure 169
Dominance, superiority and territoriality are evident here. Both-hands-on-head shows a superior ‘know-it-all’ attitude and feet-on-desk shows a territorial claim to it. To further highlight his status he has a high-status, leaning-back chair with wheels and he has a telephone with a lock on it. He is also sitting in the defensive/competitive position.

Figure 170
The hands-on-hips gesture is used by the child to make herself appear larger and more threatening. The chin is jutting forward to show defiance and the mouth is opened wide to expose the teeth, just as animals do before they attack.

Figure 171
This cluster can be summed up in one word - negative. The folder has been used as a barrier and the arms and legs are folded due to nervousness or defensiveness. His coat is buttoned and his sunglasses hide any eye or pupil signals. Much of his face is hidden by his beard, which gives him a suspicious appearance. Considering that people form 90 per cent of their opinion of someone in the first ninety seconds it is unlikely that this man will ever get to first base with another person.

Figure 172
Both men are using aggressive and readiness gestures, the man on the left using the hands-on-hips gesture and the man on the right the thumbs-in-belt. The man on the left is less aggressive than the man on the right as he is leaning backwards and his body is pointing away from the man on the right. The man on the right, however, has assumed an intimidating pose by pointing his body directly at the other man. His facial expression is also consistent with his body gestures.

Figure 173
The man on the left is straddling his chair in an attempt to take control of the discussion or to dominate the man on the right. He is also using the direct body point at the man on the right. He has clenched fingers and his feet are locked together under his chair, showing a frustrated attitude, which means that he is probably having difficulty in getting his point across. The man in the centre feels superior to the other two because of the hands-behind-head gesture he has taken. He also has the figure 4 leg lock position, meaning that he will compete or be argumentative. He has a high-status chair that swivels, leans back and has wheels and arm rests. The man on the right is seated on a low-status chair that has fixed legs and no accessories. His arms and legs are tightly crossed (defensive) and his head is down (hostile), indicating that he does not buy what he hears.

Figure 174
The woman is displaying the classic courtship gestures. She has one foot forward, pointing towards the man on the far left (interest), a combination of hand-on-hip and thumb-in-belt (sexual readiness), her left wrist is exposed and she is blowing cigarette smoke upwards (confident; positive). She is also giving a sideways glance to the man on the far left and he is responding to her courtship gestures by adjusting his tie (preening) and pointing his foot at her. His head is up (interested). The man in the centre is obviously unimpressed with the other man as he has his body pointing away and is giving him an aggressive sideways glance. He has his palms out of sight and is blowing his cigarette smoke down (negative). He is also leaning against the wall (territorial aggression).