BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (181 page)

"Sylvia he is so much his father, it's shocking. I should have known it was only a matter of time. And uh, I don't know if you know this or not, but, I'm going to share it with you."

"What is that?"

"He's deeply, madly in love with your daughter, Crystal. I mean, in love like I've never seen my son. He's told me everything. That she's recently divorced, and I've met her two little ones, he brought them by today."

"Oh my goodness."

"Yeah, it's something. He also told me, that she's not ready yet, that she's still trying to get her life in order. I think that's a good idea."

"Christine, I want my daughter to make the right choices in life and to be happy with those choices. Whether that's going back to her husband, or one day, down the road, choosing to be with someone else, Ben. I will say this, it feels good to know, that he feels so strongly about her, that he's already told you about her, that says a lot. Yet, at the same time, I feel sorry that he wasn't in her life a lot sooner, because, I really treasure him being around. But who knows how this will all turn out, you know."

"Yes, I know what you mean. I just want you to know, if - and that is a big if - they should turn to each other, I will support it. I haven't met her yet, but just by the way Ben is talking about her, I bet she's wonderful."

"Christine, my daughter is a diamond. She's smart, responsible, loving and loyal. Family means a great deal to her, and more than anything, she tries to live her life in a way that brings her up, not down. I thank you for this gesture. All we can do now, is leave the rest to them."

"I know you're right, but - I have to ask, do you - think - she's going to end up, breaking my son's heart?"

"Ohhh Christine - all I can say is this, Ben's a good guy, and a grown man. I don't want anyone to get hurt, but - life has no guarantees. Either way, he's always welcome here."

"And Shawn, think he'll come around?"

"Emmm, yeah, he will - give him some time."

"Well - at least things are better between you and I - guess I better let you go, thank you for hearing me out, and for letting bygones be that."

"I can't live my life baring a grudge, it's too short, and I'd rather have more friends than enemies - any day."

"Amen to that! Okay, I'll let you go, talk to you later - please?"

"Sure we will." Sylvia clicked the phone off, looking up for Shawn when her daughter walked in with the boys, talking animated, Ben bringing up the rear, laughing as they told what they did while with him. She sat smiling, watching them as Darren ran to her, jabbering rapidly, excited, she could barely make out what he was saying. Crystal was asking Ben, "Have they had a nap yet?"

"Are you kidding? No way! But they should be ready for one now. Shall I take them up?"

Sylvia sat observing him, his easy laughter, his readiness to help her daughter with the boys. The boys absolute admiration of him. Once more, if there had been no Victor, she could see them being wonderful together, but there was a Victor and he had rights. They walked by the table where she sat, Crystal sat her purse down along with a newspaper while they headed up stairs to put them down for a nap. She glanced at it, and tried to make up her mind to stay put and read the paper, or go looking for her pissed off husband? She reached for the newspaper.

*

Madison, University Hospital

The physical therapist had just left Meribel's room after briefing her and Derrick on the step by step process that would take place and how they would be working with her and when it would begin. It sounded like a long and difficult ordeal but it was something that could not be avoided if she was going to fully recover. Derrick sat in the chair next to her, wrestling with himself and what he now had to do. Her family had left that morning, needing to get back to Chicago. Her mother had hugged him, given him her blessings and whispered that she would pray for him, pray for them both. The doctor had spoken to him again that morning, letting him know, that she really needed to know. There would be someone coming in that evening to speak to her, to set up counseling for both of them to get them through this very emotional and stressful ordeal.

For the moment, Derrick was quiet, holding her one hand, staring through it, wishing his heart would un-lodge itself from his throat. Everyone was gone now, Derrick Jr. left the night before after he insisted that he go - they would be okay. Reluctant, but having little choice, he too was now gone.

"Papi, you look so sad. You promised me you wouldn't be carrying this around with you. I'll recover, we'll be okay."

He'd almost blurted it out just then when she'd been talking, but it stopped, trapped at the back of his throat, the words he needed to say to her.

"Derrick? What's wrong, you've been avoiding looking me in the eyes, what's going on?"

He finally looked up at her, into her beautiful eyes, despite her skin still being bruised, scrape burns now scabbing over from being scrapped on the ground. He closed his eyes and dropped his head back to her bed, wishing he could die a thousand deaths rather than say to her what could no longer be kept to himself.

"Derrick?"

He looked up at her once more, swallowed, took a deep breath and finally let it out, "Your injuries Meri, there's more to them, than you know."

She gazed at him a moment, trying to understand what that could possibly mean, then gave a small shake of her head, "What'a'yah mean?"

"Meri - you..." He swallowed again, feeling ill.

"What?!" She exclaimed, growing impatient with him, he was scaring her. "Tell me, what more is there about my injuries?!"

Both of his hands, claimed hers, holding on tight, shifting in his chair, his eyes were elsewhere, no longer on her.

"Derrick! Look at me! Tell me! Tell me now!" She insisted.

"You were pregnant Meri, you were pregnant - and - you lost it. And..." He looked up at her then, to see her eyes widen in disbelief, "... Meri, you were bleeding badly, haemorrhaging, they had to perform an emergency, hysterectomy - to stop it. We won't - can't - have any more children." He watched her, waited for her to react. She stared at him as if he spoke some other language she had no means to understand. Her breasts rose and fell from increased breathing; she looked away, still struggling with his words, trying to grasp them - get them to sink in. Her breathing increased, growing deeper and deeper, as if it was taking more of an effort to take the next breath.

"Meri - look at me, talk to me."

She couldn't look at him. Her mind went back to just over a week ago when she had this sneaking suspicion that she might be pregnant again, she had ignored the feeling because if she was, time would tell, after all, she hadn't been in any hurry to know for sure, after six children, you kind of took it for granted that, if you were, well then, you could and would deal with it when it was an absolute fact. In fact, she had thought to herself, over a week ago, 'If I am, can I have one more girl please?' - and then it had been dismissed from her mind because other things were going on. Other things were happening. It had been too early to worry about it, because if she was, then it simply meant, they had another baby coming and would need to go into the attic, bring down the boxes of baby things, bring down the crib, the changing table, and figure out which room the new one would go in after being in the room with them the first six months. She'd always kept her babies in the room with her, up to no less than six months, just because - one never knew what might happen in the night. And all the stuff in the attic, they kept it because, they knew at some point, she just might get pregnant again. But now, he was saying that, she had been pregnant, but not anymore. Not only, not anymore - but never again.

Her head rolled back to look at her husband. She couldn't speak, she could not get herself to talk, to say a word - because she didn't know what to say. Slowly, she started withdrawing her hand from his two.

"Meri? Talk to me ... please." He was trying to hold onto her hand, but she tugged until she had it free. "Meri - please."

She turned her face from him, holding her fisted hand to her stomach, trying not to think, react, to say a word.

Derrick stood staring down at her, "I'm - I'm sorry - I'm so sorry, please say something - please."

She couldn't, she kept her face averted, staring off in the opposite direction, her breathing deep, irregular, visible to him that she was struggling. He'd known all along this would be the big tragedy between them, he'd also known she wouldn't be so quick to forgive him for this one. Because of him, they'd lost a child, not just one child, but any children that might have been in their future. They were all dead now, not all the physical therapy and counseling in the world could make this one right.

"Do you want me to stay Meri? You want me to go? Tell me..."

Softly, where he almost had to strain to hear the word, she murmured, "Go."

For the first time in his life, Derrick received a blow that hurt him as nothing else ever could, he thought the punch to his stomach would fold him in half. Before he gave into the feeling, he turned and went.

*

Deidre was inside the security office located in Minnesota, the closest state with a company to secure a safe room, or panic room. While she was there, speaking with two engineers and a consultant, she gave them the layout plans for the home and explained what had been discussed. Another computerized cad drawing was being done to give a walk through on the plans. Also the costs of it. Just the door to the actual panic room ran from the lowest price of $19,999.00 and depending on how the door was to open, it could run up to $28,000.00. She didn't care about the costs, she just wanted to make sure that it was located where each family member could get to it, and be tucked away safe until help arrived. They explained, the moment the door was triggered for entry, the police would be alerted instantly, so no one would have to call them. They went on to explain more of the features to her. Outside, Charlie waited leaning against the car. Samuel sat on the drivers side, under the wheel, watching her with the door open, one foot out on the ground.

"Come to my room tonight." He asked, serious as could be.

"Why?" Charlie responded.

"Why do you think? I have needs, so do you. I know you do, fight me all you want, but I know you'd rather I take care of you, than anyone else. Now wouldn't you?"

Charlie glanced sideways at him, actually thinking about it, after all, he was right, she did have her needs. And it sucked that since he was on the scene, she wasn't even trying to see someone else. In fact, on her few nights off, when she could have been going out, to find a Mr. Goodbar, she'd stayed at home and done domestic things like, wash her hair, clip her toenails, clean her oven, which barely needed it, since she hardly ever cooked in it.

"Hmmm, you actually considering it?" He asked, clearly surprised.

"Yeah, I am. After all you put me through, that's the least you could do for me, see about me when I really need seeing to."

"Make me pay Charlie! Sonofabitch that I am, make me pay! Wanna whip?" He grinned and winked at her.

She laughed, "Don't give me no ideas - your ass need to be whipped. Fifty lashes right across your ass."

"Oooh, hurt me like that, I might not be able to perform."

"Hmph, probably can't perform worth a damn no way. All this damn time, you probably saved me from a night of frustration. If - and I do mean, If - I should give it up, you better know what the hell you doin'!"

He only smiled, a twinkle in his eye, one of high anticipation.

"Don't be looking at me like that. Grinnin' fool! Just so you know, I don't give it up often, I'm usually in a relationship with somebody I give a damn about. And the few I've been in, there was one in particular, where this fool always seemed to piss me off, because he didn't know what the hell he was doing; for me anyway. Damn! I hate that shit! The last time he tried, I slapped his ass upside the head and told him get the hell away from me! And I liked him too, but he wasn't shit in bed." She glanced at him again.

He sat in the same position, smiling, listening, offering no reassurances, nothing.

"Well?" She asked.

"Well what?"

"What you think? Like you asked me. If - and I do stress, if - you gone know what the hell you doing? I'm not shy. I ain't gone lie to you. And I don't fake it, hell with that! If we gone get it on, hell, we need to get it on, right! I like it so good it last me a while. Right now, I'm kind'ah tense, I do need to relax, unwind, de-stress. And - I don't do strangers. I'm not into one night stands and all that. But - I don't want your ass! Let's get that straight right now. If we get it on, it's just for that. It don't mean shit else! In fact, we might have to come to some kind of agreement. My shit clean, I can tell you that right now. I'on know about you, you might have to prove it - because you were down for a while and ain't no tellin' what you got into when you were down. If by chance you are clean, we may need to discuss terms in that, we come together just for that; nothing else. No love, no like, just a commitment to each other for that alone. If you decide you need to knock your boots elsewhere, just tell me and end of agreement, because I don't want no man that's jumpin' in and out of everything, every damn where he go; forget that! Ain't defiling my shit. You understand?"

Samuel smiled, "Yes ma'am, I understand."

"Good, and also, I don't want you startin' up no shit, trying to get all possessive, gettin' in my business, worrying about what I do!"

"Whoa whoa whoa, hang on a minute here! If I have to agree to keep true to you-..."

"It ain't keepin' true to nothing, just sex with me, that's all!"

"Same thing!"

"Not"

"It damn sure is! I'll be damn if you'll be teasin' up some guy, who's gonna want a piece, and then what?"

"He ain't gettin' shit, 'cause I don't tease up nobody!"

"Bullshit! I've seen you do it!"

"Lie! Who you seen me tease up?"