BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (215 page)

"I understand, your life requirements and daily routines become your priority - but I really must emphasize to you both, these meetings are vital to combat whatever issues and tendencies you have that might provoke the next aggressive event. If you don't show up, I can't possibly impart seeds, shields, or preventative measures to smooth them out. You have to be equipped, armed, to use them in your battle against your temper. Mr McPherson, I need you to decide on a date, that you and I can meet alone. Everyone here has booked their date, you must do the same. Mrs Prescott, same goes for you. That is how I evaluate whether this is enough, or something more is needed."

"Can I think about it, call you on it?" Shawn asked.

"I'll give you two days, then - I start nagging, I want that date and time, sooner the better." He turned to Crystal.

"I joined a class which is a few days a week, would a Wednesday after my class be okay?"

They worked out a appointment - Crystal's was booked.

Back in the Navigator, "You mind taking me by the house, to see the boys, say goodnight to them?"

The look Shawn gave her, made her grin.

At the house, they arrived to loud discussions, chill music, a pool game going on, everyone having a good time.

And to Crystal's surprise, after wading through family and friends, hugs and kisses, she went upstairs to hear Mundo and Ben, playing hide and go seek with the kids. Isaac was Ben's deputy and Darren was Mundo's - as the contest was for one of them to be the first to search out the hiding places of Angela, Sasha and Joseph - where they gained points, needing a score of 25 to win. The boys had been bathed, with their pajama's on - courtesy of Ben - having an absolute ball. They saw her, and at first, Isaac panicked thinking she came to take them back with her.

"Nooo!" He ran into the back bedroom where they would sleep, yelling out, "Staying here mama! I'm staying here! Nooo! Staying wit' Ben!"

Crystal, while fighting from making eye contact with Ben, holding Darren, hugging and kissing him, went looking for Isaac in the room, coaxing him to her, promising that she wouldn't be taking them away from there. On the bed, she sat with them, "You stay mama." Isaac instructed her.

"Mama can't stay, but you can if you want to, I'll be back again tomorrow, to see you, promise, okay?"

"Okay mama, I look after Darren fo'you."

"That's a good boy, my little man, you look after your brother for me. I love you so much, hug me, kiss me, tighter, a little tighter." She pleaded, kissing them both. Holding on to them. Outside the door, Ben stood leaning, listening praying for a chance to speak with her alone. So was Angela, so he wouldn't have long - they were sitting outside on the front porch for some fresh air after their playing. He waited patiently while Crystal spoke softly and then put them to bed. After their bath and playing, they were ready for bed. When she walked out, he was there.

"Please - give me a moment, I know about Kevin - him coming here, talking to you."

Crystal didn't want to talk to him, she didn't think her heart could take it. "It doesn't matter Ben." She whispered softly.

"It does matter, it matters a great deal! All I ask is that you hear me out, please - just give me a chance to defend whatever he might have said." He had his hand on her arm, urging her towards the bathroom again for a place of privacy. Reluctant, Crystal moved into the bathroom, clicking the light on, trying not to look at him. That did little good, he took her by the hands, pulling her towards him as he took a seat on the toilet, looking up at her. Something about his hands on her, made her weak, made her want to fall against him, move closer to him, but she wouldn't, yet - she let his hands, hold onto her, and knew that she needed to feel them.

"Who've you been fighting with now Ben?" She asked right away.

"Kevin, I tried-..."

"Ben! Why?"

"Why?! You're kidding right? Why do you think? As long as I live - what he said to you, will stand between us, I swear it!"

"He's your brother, and he meant well."

"Bullshit! He meant to hurt me - and I've never known such pain."

"Don't Ben, please-..."

"I want you to know, he's full of shit! I didn't go after you to grow closer to Shawn!-.."

"Ben..."

"Let me finish, I need to finish. Doesn't matter what he said, he was wrong!" He emphasized, holding onto her hands, his thumbs caressing her knuckles, "I - I need you to know, that - I - I know why you went back, I know. But he's all wrong for you Crystal, he's all wrong, he'll never know you, the way I know you. I swear to God, I have more love in one of the pieces from my broken heart, than he has in his whole body for you."

Crystal was going to start crying, she pulled her hands from him. He let her go, he had to - he loved her too much not to. At the door, with her back to him, she wanted him to know, "I never meant to hurt you Ben, I never meant to cause you any pain. But - I have to see this through - I can't go back on it now."

"I know - I know you won't. Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna stop loving you. One day you'll see, you'll know, beyond a shadow of doubt, where you belong - it's only a matter of time."

She looked over her shoulder back at him.

He smiled at her, "Go on, Shawn will be looking for you soon. Don't worry about the boys, long as they're here, I'll take good care of them. See, they already know, that they're mine, just gonna take you a little bit longer, to know, that you too, are mine. I'm willing to wait, because you Crystal Bella, no matter what your father said - the fuckin' liar, you are - worth the wait baby - you're worth it, and more."

Crystal was starting to crumble, she snatched the door open and rushed from the bathroom and out the front door, stopped dead in her tracks, to face Angela. The look in her eyes, made her even more weak, all she could do was make her way towards her, wrap her arms around her, hugging her tightly, she pleaded, "Forgive me, I didn't mean to desert you. I'm always there for you. Tuesday, next week, we can email each other, instant message, and - and how about this, we have a day for us, just for you and I. A day, a date that we'll always keep, no matter what, would you like that?" Crystal asked, holding on tightly, stroking Angela's hair.

"Yes please, I would love a day like that, it'll be our day."

Crystal pulled back, "Okay, so let's think, it has to be a day that even when we're both in school, we still have - I think to help us through the week, hump day is a good day for us. That's Wednesday. I have a course that morning next Wednesday, and an afternoon appointment and after that, I'll come and get you, how's that?"

Angela smiled, then remembered her bodyguard, voicing her disappointment about that, Crystal assured her, it didn't matter, if they had to be escorted for that day, so much the better, they could talk, have fun, instead of her having to pay attention to the road. She stayed a few moments more, visiting with Sasha and Joseph, her brother, who had always been understanding with her, even when he didn't understand. Soon, Shawn was looking for her, and then was taking her home. When he pulled up in front of her house, she sat a moment looking at it, as if she dreaded going inside.

"You don't have to you know - just say the word, we'll load you up again and back-..."

She opened the door and climbed out, turning in it, she looked in at him, "Goodnight - dad." Smiling, she closed the door and trotted up the steps, using her keys, she entered and then turned waving in the door to him that she was in, closing the door.

Shawn sat a moment staring at it, giving in, he sighed and pulled off home.

That night, in bed, Shawn held onto his wife, spooning, his palm on her belly. He was tired, so was she, yet laying together as they were, seemed to slowly energize them for the next days events. His nose was in her hair, his body slowly, ever so slightly rocking them, "Shawn."

"Yes."

"I've been thinking about something today."

"That is?" He asked groggily.

"That friend of yours, Paul?"

"Yeah."

"Can he find, anybody?"

"Emmm, just about - depends. Why?"

She lay a moment more thinking and turning to her back, looked up at his dark silhouette, "Is he expensive?"

"Why you asking?"

"I want him to find David, Shawn - my brother David, it's been a long time - I'm really starting to miss him."

Shawn couldn't bring himself to speak, it felt as if a stone was sudden shoved down his throat, into his chest.

"You think he could find David for me Shawn?"

Shawn sighed long and deep, "I'll ah - talk to him about it tomorrow, okay?"

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die."

"Thank you Shawn, maybe - if he starts now, he could have him found by the time Jesse James is born, or Christmas even, that would be nice." She turned back on her side, snuggling back into her husband's body. "Yeah, that would be real nice, if we found him, and he stayed, then - I would have some family here with me, besides my kids that is."

Shawn hugged her tighter, hating Armundo Payne Sr. even more - and not all the positive reinforcement in the world, was gonna change that feeling in him.

Crystal lay in Isaac's aerobed, in the dark, wondering where Victor had gone? He was pissed. She walked in the door to see flowers, wine, and soft music playing. With him waiting with a smile. She didn't understand what he'd expected from her, she hadn't wanted any wine. She just wanted to change and go to bed - alone. She didn't want him to wine and dine her, not now, not at this place in the game. They had issues to fix, she'd made that clear to him.

"Victor, I'm not saying I don't like it, it's a nice gesture, but - it's too soon for it. I'm not gonna slow dance with you, I don't want any wine, because we both know the end goal you're shooting for."

"What the heck man! You said I could stay here-..."

"On the sofa!"

"So I'm paying rent, all the bills, everything, to ah - sleep on the sofa?"

"I'll tell you what, I'll sleep on the sofa, you sleep in the bed, I'm fine either way."

Victor stood staring a few moments, shaking his head, he strode to the stereo, turned it off. Grabbed his jacket, "I'm out'ah here, sleep wherever you want."

Thus, the aerobed, it was comfortable enough - but she found the silence of the house unsettling, she felt alone, lonely - and yes, unhappy. Then thought, maybe she should have indulged him a little bit - but then, would he have been willing to stop once things got started? No, she laid realizing they needed to get a couple of marriage counselling meetings in first before they started entertaining the notion of going back to bed together, they needed to talk to each other, get to know each other first. In truth, she wanted him to be interested in getting to know her, the way Ben already knew her. She wanted him to say, let's go for a walk. Let's sit out on the front porch and just talk. She didn't want flowers, nor wine, that was tied to having sex. She wanted him to show that this time, he was looking to know who she was and why she was the way she was. He hadn't even asked about the boys, were they all right?

"And you want me to drink wine, sniff your flowers and have sex. I don't think so." She turned over getting comfortable, about to fall asleep when her mobile chimed. She reached into her purse on the floor, picking it up, she opened it to see a text from Ben. Clicking it on, *It's just a matter of time* - sighing, Crystal put a key lock on her phone to protect it from prying eyes, just in case. She closed it, and went to sleep.

It was early, dawn hadn't quite broken, Charlie stood in the shower of Samuel's room, while he stood at the sink, wearing only his briefs, brushing his teeth, she was laughing at something that crossed her mind, now done, stepping from it. "I swear, that boy Mundo, is funny as hell - I wouldn't mind him being around all the time." She started, and then, "That was a nice change last night, Dee-Dee need to relocate to be near more normal people, instead of the stuffed shirts and hypocrites she rubs elbows with." She reached for the towel to dry herself, to see his eyes looking at her from the reflection of the mirror, he wasn't too happy. "What's wrong with you this morning?"

Samuel's mind had been going over the events of the previous night, trying to dismiss certain acts of hers, but since she brought up last night, "Do you have to flirt, and wink, and do that shit that you do when other men are around? Talk the way you do?"

Standing naked, proud, and looking down her nose at him, "No, I don't have to - all I have to do, is live, die and stay black! The rest, my options and what I choose."

"Goddammit, I knew you were going to come back with something smart ass to say."

"Emp, happy not to disappoint." She continued drying her athletic body, tone, femininely muscular, not over done, but just so, with everything firm and solid. She looked good naked and knew it, her breasts although on the small size, were perfect, her abs tight, thighs muscular and shaped; rear, round, set and hard because she had always been a sprinter, a runner. She never jogged, she did sprints, which gave her lower body power for needs of sudden bursts of speed. At that moment, she stared him down, one brow quirked before him, "Anything else to say?"

"Yeah, while you're fucking me, cease with that flirting with other men, smiling in their faces as if-..."

"Whose face you see me smiling in?"

"The big guy, the tall guy! Shawn's brother!"

"That was nothing! His chick didn't get all wrapped up about it, why would you? She knew that was just me bullshittin' around."

"How do you know she didn't, maybe she waited until they got home."

"In that case, all the women was trippin', because I flirted with all of'em! All them fine ass men in one room, what the hell you think?"

"How would you like it if I flirted with every woman I encountered?!"

"I wouldn't give a shit! Do it! Do what the hell you want! I'ain't trying to hold onto you! Think I'm stupid enough to fall again, let you break my goddamn heart? Again? Hell with that! Let us not be confused, all I want you for, is the performance the night before, and last night - you do that shit well! Keep it up, we can continue this a little bit longer, but if you gonna start this shit here? No no, we can hang it up."