Bondage (21 page)

"Sure you don't want to try the spinach?" Phan offered, with a grin. "Oh, I'm missing a box for my room. Markers and shit. They go into yours by accident?"

"Is the box labeled 'colorful stuff,' by any chance?"

"Um, yeah. Though there just might be a secret in there, too."

"Ooh. Tell me the secret and I'll tell you where the box is." Noah grinned mischievously.

"Brat."

"Fine. Find it yourself." Noah picked up his pizza and took a bite.

Phan glared at him. "I'm not allowed in your room by myself."

Noah said nothing, just continued to eat his pizza, grinning.

Phan looked like he was going to protest again, but really, he'd brought it up without having to, so Noah knew he wanted to share. He just wanted to be made to share.

"Contraband," he whispered dramatically.

Noah looked up, still grinning. "Am I going to have to arrest you?"

"Nope. But one of us might get spanked."

Noah grinned wider. "The box is actually in the dining room; I was staring at it a little while ago."

"Bastard!" Phan jumped up and made a dash for the dining room, hollering when he found the box. "Baby! My sweet baby!"

"Bring the contraband to me, boy," Noah ordered, deliberately sounding Toppy.

Phan appeared, clutching his box. "No," he said, sticking out his tongue. "You tricked me."

"I did not! I never told you that box was in my room. You assumed!" Noah got out of his chair.

"Uh-huh. Trickery. And then Toppy voice. Bad Noah. No sweet for you," Phan said, backing up.

"You have sugar?" Noah stalked him.

"I have... um. No?"

"Chocolate or candy? Fess up, I know where you're ticklish."

"Please, if I had chocolate... well, I wouldn't. I can't make it last, you know that." Phan made an obvious attempt to look pathetic.

Noah bolted, getting between Phan and the stairwell so he couldn't disappear into his room where Noah couldn't follow. "Aha! It's all over now; I am much more patient than you are."

Phan eyed him. "That's true..." he agreed slowly. "But I have a higher pain threshold. And the sugar."

Noah sat on the bottom step. "Okay, we'll see who lasts longer -- you, without reaching in there for the sweets, or me, sitting comfortably on the steps waiting for you to give up."

"Why on earth would I do that?" Phan asked, clearly baffled. "I'm going to eat 'em. You get to babysit me."

Noah's eyes widened. "Babysit? You little prick, Sir will murder me if you OD on sugar tonight!"

Phan nodded frantically. "See? Spankings."

"Give me the box." Noah stood up and stepped toward Phan.

Phan's eyes widened and he backed up. "Um. Noah? That's a scary look on you." He tried to get the box open without taking his eyes off Noah.

Noah decided to use his best cop voice. "Put the box on the floor and step back."

Phan flinched. "You're good." He wedged a hand into the box and pulled out a handful of markers. "Ah, shit. Fine. Here," he said, passing the box over. "I'm going to draw."

Noah grabbed the box and set it quickly on the floor. He managed to pounce on Phan before he could get to the stairs, pinning him flat on his stomach in the foyer. "Drop 'em!" he shouted.

"Never!" Phan shouted back. "You'll never take me alive, copper!"

"What the hell is going on here?"

Noah blinked at the sudden interruption but continued what he was doing. "Contraband, sir! He was planning on sneaking it up to his room where I couldn't stop him from ingesting it. He wasn't even going to share."

He looked at Tobias who was standing over them, staring down in what could have been confusion. "Phantom?"

Phan had gone still under Noah. "Um. Markers, sir. He's clearly insane."

"Markers, my ass." Noah pushed off of Phan and got to his feet.

"No," Phan said slowly. "Your ass is at the top of your legs. These are my markers."

Tobias held his hand out. Phan looked at the hand and sighed, handing his markers over. He sighed again when Tobias popped the end off one and poured pink sugar into his own mouth.

"Thank you, Phan. I needed that. And you need.... what?"

"A spanking, sir. And a cuddle."

"Markers." Noah snorted. "I'm going to clean up the kitchen. Oh, sir! Wait until you see the cross! We got a lot done today."

Tobias smiled at him, one hand petting Phan's hair. "Good job, pet. I'll be right up to see it -- and apparently to use the spanking bench. Want to watch?"

"Yes, sir. Definitely, sir." Noah hurried off to the kitchen.

Tobias was tired, but not wrung out, and something had obviously happened. Noah and Phan were silly and happy, but Phan was clearly in need of something. Tobias watched Noah rush off and then heard Noah moving things in the kitchen. He looked down at where Phan was sitting on the floor, eyes down, still a little giddy, but curiously twitchy.

"Go to the playroom, boy," he said softly. "Strip and kneel and try to center yourself. I'm going to take a shower; use the time wisely."

"Yes, sir," Phan said immediately. He scrambled up and took the stairs two at a time.

Tobias sighed and took off his coat, hanging it neatly in the hall closet before going to the kitchen. "How was your day, pet?" he asked, walking up behind Noah and kissing his neck.

Noah leaned into him. "It was great, sir. The playroom is really coming along. One more day and we should have it in working order. The cross and the chains are all secure; I need to put up the sling and a few other details. Phan was a great inspiration holding my ladder for me." He turned in Tobias' arms and kissed him. "Long day?"

"Not too bad," Tobias said. "Better now that I'm here. I've sent Phan up to get ready -- you can join him when you're done here. Don't talk to him, just be there, okay? I'm going to shower."

"Yes, sir. And you definitely need a shower." Noah grinned and gave Tobias a light shove.

"Mm. Horse. See you upstairs." Tobias dropped another kiss on Noah's mouth and left him, going to his room to strip off his dirty clothes. His bathroom was clean, shiny, and still smelling of the cleaner his boys had used, and Tobias took his time in the shower, letting the hot water ease away a few aches.

Clean and refreshed, he dressed in leather pants and a white T-shirt before going up to the playroom. He hadn't intended to use it for the first time until he had a scene planned, but scenes were for play -- Phan needed to be taken down, and that took priority. So he dressed for work, for maximum effect.

He climbed the stairs slowly, taking care to school his features and straighten his spine. When he walked in, he saw Phan by the spanking bench, naked and on display, his eyes closed. Noah was also kneeling, to one side, still wearing his jeans and T-shirt. "Nice work," he said, looking at the cross and the chains. "Well done, boys."

"Thank you, sir," Noah answered softly. His eyes had been on Phan, but he lowered them quickly.

"Phantom?"

"Thank you, sir. Noah did all the work."

"I'm sure he appreciated any help you gave him," Tobias said easily.

"Yes, sir," Noah agreed quickly. "He was good company, an excellent assistant, and he put your trunks in order as well. Things went much more quickly with his help."

"Good." Tobias went to the trunks and opened two, finding the paddles and crops all nicely lined up, everything precisely in order. "Oh, very good," he said, picking up a paddle. "Phan, the bench, please."

Phan moved without a word, bending over the bench and taking hold of the handholds under it.

"Why am I doing this?" Tobias asked, walking to the boy.

"Because I'm... scattered," Phan whispered.

Tobias nodded. "Not for punishment?"

"No, sir. Unless you think I need to be punished."

"Do you?" he asked curiously.

"I don't think so, sir. But I could be wrong."

"Noah, does Phan need to be punished for anything?" Tobias asked.

"No, sir." Noah shook his head, his eyes once again on Phan as the boy settled himself on the bench. "Unless you consider sneaking sugar a punishable offense, he's done nothing to deserve punishment. But I agree that he hasn't seemed grounded."

"Sneaking sugar is almost expected," Tobias said with a smile. "Okay, boy. Hang on tight." He lifted the paddle and smacked Phan's ass hard, without any more warning than that.

Phan jumped and grunted, but didn't make any more noise as Tobias spanked him. Five strokes into it, Tobias realized this was far more than just a spanking. He stepped up the pace, hitting faster and harder, and Phan merely took it, his breath coming in pants.

Finally, Tobias dropped the paddle on the floor and went to the trunks again. "Who are you?" he asked Phan, hoping the familiar litany they used would bring the boy around.

"Phan," came the whispered reply.

"Who are you?" Tobias asked again, picking up a crop. Noah moved back a bit, the movement a slight distraction, hardly noted.

"Phantom, sir."

Tobias nodded and struck Phan across his reddened ass. "Who are you?" he asked a third time.

"Phantom, sir!" Phan yelled.

"And what are you?"

"Nothing!"

Tobias stared, and then gave him three stripes. "What are you?" he demanded.

"A sub!"

Two more stripes. "Who are you?"

"Phantom." He could hear the tears in the boy's voice now, the sobs just starting.

"And what are you?" he asked, his tone gentler.

"A submissive, sir," Phan whispered.

Tobias looked at the crop in his hand and sighed. "What do you need, boy?" he asked softly.

"Grounding," Phan said, shaking. "Oh, God, please, sir."

That was really all Tobias needed to hear, and he set to grounding his boy, laying on stripe after stripe. Phan's ass, his thighs, his shoulders... all available space was filled until Phan was sobbing, tears rolling down his face, his body shaking. Tobias stopped then, glancing at Noah to see how he was reacting to Phan's form of grounding.

Noah was still kneeling, though he'd moved farther out of their way and was now several feet across the room. If the tension in his body wasn't enough, the look on his face spoke volumes. His brow was furrowed into a frown and he was biting at his lip, but his eyes were soft and sympathetic.

Tobias ran a hand through Phan's hair, touching him softly. "Do you want to leave, pet?" he asked Noah quietly.

Noah schooled his expression quickly now that he knew Tobias was watching him. His posture relaxed and he straightened his back. "No, sir," he said, his voice betraying him a bit. "I want to be here to support Phan."

Tobias nodded. "Good boy," he said gently, though it was for both of them. He had to trust Noah to take care of himself for the moment. "Who are you, boy?" he asked Phan.

"Phantom, sir," Phan managed through hitched breath.

"And what are you?"

"A submissive."

"You sound like you're clinging to the word," Tobias pointed out, kneeling next to him.

"It's what I am, sir. All I want to be. I don't want to be anything else."

"No one says you have to be," Tobias said slowly.

"I know," Phan said, starting to cry harder.

Tobias sighed, utterly confused. He set the crop down and gathered Phan into his arms, ignoring the whimpers and mutters that went with touching red and raw skin. "What are you?" he whispered.

"Sub."

"Whose are you?"

"No one's." And Phan broke down, sobbing and clinging and tripping over his words as he tried to correct himself.

"Shhh, boy," Tobias whispered. "It's okay. It'll be all right. Never apologize for telling me what you feel. Shh...." He glanced back at Noah. "You heard?"

Noah nodded slowly. Tobias could see Noah warring with himself, struggling with what to say and how to say it. "You want him to be able to say that he's yours." Noah said finally. It was a statement, not a question. "What do you need, what does he need from me for that to happen?"

Tobias shook his head. "We're not talking about that now. Not like this. I won't make choices based on circumstance and overly emotional states." He took a breath and pulled Phan closer to him. "I think it's time we moved to the safe room."

"Yes, sir," Noah got slowly to his feet. "Hear that, Phan?" He tried to smile. "We're finally going to get to see the mysterious safe room."

Tobias closed his eyes. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Phan shook his head, still crying. "No. Sir, no. I'm sorry, so sorry."

"Shh, Phan. It'll be okay. Come now, we'll make it better." He stood up with an effort, Phan still in his arms and looked at Noah. "Lead on, pet. I hope it's what you imagined."

"I'd be just as comfortable in your bedroom, sir, if it's all right with Phan." Noah headed out the door, but didn't head right for the safe room.

"Good idea," Tobias said. "I should have thought of that." He followed Noah down the stairs, carefully holding Phan. The sobs were tapering off, though Phan still shook and Tobias could hear more apologies.

"Shhh," Tobias soothed. "It will be fine, and you'll see the surprise soon enough." They went into his room and Tobias set Phan on the bed, climbing on and holding him close. "You too, pet. Let's just... get that cuddle in for now."

Noah joined them on the bed, sitting close so that Phan was between them. Silently, he reached a hand out and threaded his fingers through Phan's hair, combing it out of his face gently.

"Phan?" Tobias said softly. "We're here. Just us three, and it's okay. You can say what you like, cry if you want... we'll still be here." Phan shook his head, but the shaking began to ease, and Tobias went with it. "Really, we will. You're not nobody's, you're ours. We care about you, you live here... You're not alone."

Noah's jaw tightened, but finally he spoke up, too. "Everything you're feeling is valid and important, Phan. The truth is more important than anything. You're not nobody, and you're not alone. We care about you, and between me and Sir, you're completely safe." He leaned in and kissed Phan on the cheek.

"I'm sorry," Phan whispered again. "It's just... hard sometimes. When it's so clear that you're able to share so much. Be so solid and secure in who you are and what you mean to each other. I don't always know my place, what I'm supposed to do."

"How so?" Tobias asked. "Phan, I need to know exactly what you mean."

"It's not how we three fit so much as it is... I don't know."

"You do know," Tobias insisted. "What's wrong?"

Phan moved closer to Noah, wiggling. "I'm a sub. I don't want to be dominant. Ever. I can't give you that."

Tobias blinked and stared at Phan. "I wouldn't... I don't want you to," he said, completely stunned.

"But you wanted Noah to. I can't give you that," Phan whispered.

Noah paled, looking pained, liked he'd been hit with a brick. "He... he asked me why there were three sets of chains on the wall in the playroom, and I told him. It never occurred to me that... I'm sorry, sir."

"Don't be," Tobias said. "It would have come up, and there is no reason for him not to know." He leaned over, almost squishing Phan, and kissed Noah. "This is not your fault. It's mine. We have something to talk about, boys."

He shifted, holding Phan still between them. "Phan, I owe you an apology. I let the business of the past few weeks give me an excuse to put this off, and it's been to your detriment. We have to drop the trappings of who we are for a while, and talk about contracts."

Noah sighed, but he nodded and slid off the bed. "I'll make us some tea. It'll give Phan a few minutes to adjust. We can't talk contracts with him upset, and he's only just grounded."

"Noah," Tobias said softly, looking up at him. "It will be okay, I promise."

Noah looked back at Tobias, smiling slightly. "I know," he said quietly, giving Tobias a nod. He left the room, and Tobias heard him moments later next door in the kitchen, running water.

"Phan," Tobias said gently. "Look at me."

Slowly, Phan rolled over, his face flushed and tearstreaked. "I'm--"

"No. I'm sorry. We'll talk more when Noah comes back, but I want you to know that I'll never ask more of you than I know you can give. I know you can't dominate -- and I don't want you to. Never once did I want you to. What happened with Noah was a wonderful thing, fun and timed right. We both hit our stride, and he was ready to play a new game, try something new. I don't want him to do it all the time, or even semi-regularly, but it's something we're going to explore. I don't want that to threaten you."

"I'm not threatened by you playing," Phan said slowly. "And I'm not even flipping about you subbing. I thought that's what it was, honestly. It's more... I don't know what my role is. If you're our Dom, and Noah's your primary and I'm your secondary, what does that mean, exactly? Are there separate rules I have to learn? Is there a time when I'm just not supposed to be anything other than the subbiest sub? Where's my voice?"

Noah wasn't gone long, returning with the teapot and three mugs on a tray, along with some cookies and one of Phan's sugar sticks. He set the tray on Tobias' dresser and poured the tea. He had to have heard the last bit of what Phan was saying, but he apparently was choosing not to interrupt.

"You have a voice," Tobias said, sitting up. "Right now, when it can be its strongest. I need to know what you want, what you need. I'm not making empty promises here, Phan. I'm not making any promises, in point of fact. I haven't offered you a contract, and I won't until I talk to Noah about it. Together, all three of us, we'll decide what's the best choice for each of us as individuals and as people in a very complex relationship." He tugged at the duvet until Phan moved a little, hissing as the fabric rubbed on his back. Tobias covered him carefully, trying not to hurt him any more than he had to, and got a weak smile in return.

"Phan, if it makes you... if you'd rather, I can leave you two alone to discuss this." Noah brought him a mug. "I mean, if it's easier for you to be honest."

Phan shook his head and shifted a little before taking the tea. "I'd just have to go over it again," he said softly. "I tell you everything."

Noah laughed softly and waved the sugary candy in front of his nose. "This is true."

"Gimme." Phan snatched the sugar and grinned for a moment. "But maybe I should go do something while you and S -- Tobias talk."

"Nope, same problem." Noah grinned. "I tell you everything, too. Might be what got us all here in the first place, hm?" Noah fetched a mug for Tobias and one more for himself, then seated himself cross-legged on the bed facing them. He looked at Tobias and rested a hand on his knee. "Maybe I can make this a little easier. I don't have an issue with you contemplating a contract with Phan. I appreciate that you want my input, and I do feel like that's important, but fundamentally, he's got every right to expect a contract from his Dom, and you have every right to want one. I can see the slippery ground under Phan's feet; I wouldn't want to feel that way, either."