Boy Crazy (3 page)

Joe turned crimson. Andy stared at her in complete shock for a moment. “You broke up with me because you think I’m gay?!”

“I KNOW you’re bi, Andy. I think you’re lying to yourself,” she said. “I figured out Joe had a crush on you too and I asked him to come to the cafe to talk. I told him that I thought you were into him.”

It was insane. It was absolutely insane, in every possible way, and it made him feel sick and crazy all at once, and Andy looked at Joe and wanted it to not be real. Joe looked back at him helplessly, but with a faint, desperate hint of hope.

And it suddenly made sense.

All the times they stayed up late and talked about everything and anything. All the guys he had tried to shove at Joe. All the excuses, carefully given, to avoid suspicion. He’d always counted himself lucky for having such a great, easy-going, caring guy as his friend. He’d defend Joe to the death.

He cared for Joe - of course he did, they were best friends. But this was something more than that, something so big he couldn’t wrap his mind around it. The enormity of the realization staggered him.

Andy remembered being held last night. He remembered the warmth. His whole chest abruptly clenched up, and slowly relaxed. He pulled out a chair and collapsed into it as his legs turned to rubber.

Carla grabbed her handbag as he put his face in his hands. “I’m getting out of here. Guys, just figure it out. I’ll call you later.” She vanished as abruptly as she had on the night she broke up with him.

Silence descended on the kitchen, broken only by the sound of Joe sitting down again beside Andy. Neither of them said a word. Joe reached out and touched his wrist with the tips of his fingers, and Andy didn’t move away.

“How long?” he asked.

“Since we met,” Joe replied, and laughed weakly. “It’s like a fucking joke, isn’t it? The gay guy falling for the straight guy.”

“What did Carla say to you?”

“Just that she knew. Scared the shit out of me. I thought she was going to rip my head off.”

Joe’s hand slid over his, and the burn in his gut surged for a moment. Andy felt dizzy, and awkward, and a bit like he was falling sideways, but it was… good. He had never even contemplated it being good. In all the time he’d thought of Joe’s sex life, he never once imagined himself being in it, and it terrified him.

“I don’t think you know how afraid I am right now,” he said quietly.

“I kinda think I do,” said Joe. “I - I just want to ask you, man. I’ll go, if you want me to. I guess I want a lot of things, but… I want to be your friend, even if I get nothing else. You’re a great guy, Andy. I’m scared of losing you.”

As he said the words, Andy’s chest tightened again. The thought of Joe just… not being there… hurt. It shook him that he could deal with Carla’s absence, but not this. His fingers seemed to move of their own accord, and they gripped Joe’s hand in turn.

Warmth spilled between them, through the meager contact. Warmth and hope and even some kind of relief, as if the worst was over. It was still all kinds of crazy, and the whole idea of it had knocked him so far out of his comfort zone that he might as well be on Mars, but it felt like it could be okay. Like there was no reason to be scared, despite the fact that he was walking into the complete unknown.

“Are you scared of me?” Joe asked.

“No, man,” said Andy. “I’m scared of… everything else, like… I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel. It’s like I’ve lost my mind.”

“Do you like me?”

Andy caught the fear in his voice. It was even harder to imagine Joe being bothered by something, but now his roommate looked just as frightened as he himself felt.

“I think I do,” he said softly. “I just don’t know how to deal with it, Joe.”

Joe let out the breath he had been holding in, and swallowed nervously. “I kinda thought you’d deal with it the same way as if I were a girl.”

“What, buy you dinner and invite you back to my place for sex?” Andy said.

“Anything you’d want to give me, man. Anything.”

Joe’s fingers slid between his. His thumb drifted across the back of his hand. It was somehow ridiculous, that Andy could be so scared of this. Joe had already touched him in far more intimate places, and he’d enjoyed it then.

The warmth grew as he tried to relax. Andy thought about all the conversations they’d had, all the good times they’d enjoyed - most in this apartment, late at night, when they were drunk and stupid and silly. He could have all that and… something more. That big, crazy something that was intimidating and awesome at the same time.

He stood up, and pulled Joe with him to the living room. The couch was still a bit messy, and the blanket was where he had left it on the floor. He sat down again, and Joe sat beside him, still hand in hand.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, okay?” Andy said. “I don’t know if I’m going to freak out or something. So just… go slow?”

Joe put his arm around his shoulders, and it was a comforting weight. “You know me, Andy,” he said softly. “I’ll be good to you. Trust me, just a little. I promise I’ll make you fly.”

The same as last night. He felt a little light-headed.

Joe leaned back against the side of the couch, drawing Andy down on top of him. They’d sat here so many times before with at least a foot of space between them, and now they were squashed together with Andy tucked in around his chest and his nose against his neck. They lay together in silence until Joe spoke.

“Not so bad, huh?”

“No.” Andy moved a little against him. “Feels okay.”

Joe ran his hand down Andy’s back, leaving a trail of heat on his T-shirt. “I was so afraid you’d just leave, and never come back,” he said. “I didn’t want to get between you and Carla either. There wasn’t any point, you know? You being straight ’n’ all. That’s why I never said anything.”

“Why’d you offer me a blowjob then?” Andy asked.

“I didn’t know if I’d ever get another chance, and I wanted to do it. You’ve got a really nice dick.”

The burn in the pit of his stomach surged again. There was something really powerful about the way he said that. Andy moved again, and lifted his head towards Joe’s face. It made him feel stupid, and his tongue felt thick, but he couldn’t help saying it.

“Do you want to do it again?”

“…Yeah. As often as I can.” He paused. “I’ve had two years to think about all the things I’d like to do, if you ever wanted to…”

Andy breathed in and out, feeling his heart speed up. He was sober, and that made things different, but maybe he could forget that he was with a man -

No. This is Joe.

It scares the shit out of you, but this is Joe.

Andy kissed his neck. Joe stiffened, for a moment, then let his hand rest on Andy’s ass.

He never really figured out what happened next. Some strong urge made him act, and within seconds he was grinding against Joe and shoving his tongue down his throat. The feeling and the taste were both strange, and different; more hard than soft, more strong than weak, and although it scared him, it was like all the best things in his life distilled into a few, sharp moments.

They moved together, and Andy suddenly jumped in surprise when he felt the heat of another erection pressed against his own. It was hot, even through jeans and underwear, and it was alien - part of him insisted that it shouldn’t affect him so much, but his body rebelled. In spite of everything he believed about himself, he wanted more. He wanted…

Andy felt like he was back in high school and just discovering what felt good. It didn’t matter. Joe pulled his shirt off and he went with it willingly, let him lift him up and undo his pants. Being on top of him, rocking against him, made him feel like he could fly - and like he was just a step away from crashing into wonderful oblivion.

Joe slipped one hand between them, and Andy bucked into his touch. His other hand wandered over his thighs and back, stroking every tense muscle with reassurance. He was still gentle, still just a little forceful, and when Andy moaned, he gripped his ass and pressed him down into every thrust.

Joe whispered his name, over and over, breathless and past the point of no return. It was too much for him. No one, man or woman, had ever said his name with such desperate lust. Andy came hard, and was rewarded with Joe crying out his name one last time.

Even after he came down from the high, he didn’t pull away. Joe was warm, and he smelled of aftershave and sex. It made him feel happy as well as satisfied; insane, and somehow great. It felt more meaningful than with Carla. They’d always had fun, of course, but they never had this.

Andy groaned and nuzzled Joe’s neck, getting scraped by stubble and not really caring about it, and felt Joe’s hand running through his hair.

“I thought you said to go slow,” his roommate murmured.

“Changed my mind,” he said indistinctly.

“Go out with me?”

Andy barely knew what to say. “Like… boyfriends?”

“Yeah.”

He knew he wanted it, even if it was probably the biggest change he’d ever made in his whole life. He nodded, and Joe hugged him tighter for a moment.

“You know it’s still scary, right?” Andy said.

“I know, babe.” He kissed the top of Andy’s head. “This must be kinda crazy for you.”

“What’s Carla going to say?”

“Nothing. She told me that we had to get together. I don’t think she’ll be surprised.”

Andy sighed. “I think she’s a lot smarter than me.”

“She’s going to call eventually too,” said Joe, and shifted uncomfortably. “I’d like to stay here all night but… well, you know. Clean up.”

“Joe?”

“Yeah?”

“I think… I won’t freak out if you give me another blowjob.”

*****

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Shay Kassa is the pen name of an unknown author who writes other things. This author wants to keep those things separate from the erotica stuff.

Why the name, Shay Kassa? No reason at all. The author just likes the sound of it.

Go check out
shaykassa.wordpress.com
if you’re curious - and leave a review somewhere if you like this story.