Breakable (9 page)

Chapter Eleven

When
the bell rang for break, Mark and I were still packing up. By the time we left the
art room, it was empty. Too bad the same couldn’t be said for the hallway.

As
we stepped out the door, the sea of student life parted to reveal Karyn
standing across the hall, leaned up against a bank of lockers, her platinum
waves pulled over one shoulder. Her stance was casual, relaxed. She greeted a
couple seniors with a small smile as they passed.

To
anyone who didn’t know better, she was untouchable.

But
her icy-blue eyes were just a little narrower than usual, and throwing sparks
instead of twinkling. They locked on Mark a split second after we stepped
through the door, then cut to me.

I
couldn’t help a tiny curl of satisfaction over her fear, because it was clear
as she looked back at Mark, she searched his face for anger.

“Hey,
babe.” Mark’s gentle tone, combined with the way he reached for her hand, must
have reassured her. Her face lit up. She twined her fingers in his as we turned
together down the hallway, her clutching his arm like it was a life preserver.
Which I couldn’t blame her for, I guess. I probably would have done the same.

“So,
Kar, have you heard about Friday yet?” Mark asked as we wove down the hall. Or
rather, he and Karyn strode down the hall, nodding to friends and taking the
path that opened up through the ocean walking in other directions.

I
wove. And tripped over sly feet. And twisted to pass without being thumped in
the shoulder.

“Oh!
Yeah, Lisa said her parents are leaving at four, so she’s telling everyone
seven, just so she can be sure they’re really gone.”

“Sounds
good. Um… I’ve been talking to Stace and I was thinking she can come with us.
Just to–”

“
What?!
”
Karyn and I shrieked in unison. I wasn’t sure whether that was funny or
frightening. Mark frowned at her first, then glanced back at me. I’d just
stopped in my tracks to avoid being flattened by a group of sophomore jocks. It
took a few steps to get caught up again.

Mark’s
expression apparently kept Karyn’s trap shut, so it was left to me to explain
how stupid this idea was.

“Mark,”
I said with a tone designed to let him know I
didn’t
want to discuss
this in front of her. “I don’t think a party is the best way to start.”

“I
wasn’t starting with that. I was thinking you could come to the rec room with
us during breaks this week, just to let everyone get used to having you around.
Then head to the party with us Friday. Lisa’s always too drunk to care who
shows up. And her parties are a little more casual.”

“So,
you decided Mark’s idea was okay after all, I guess, Stacy?” Karyn said without
actually meeting my eyes.

The
edge in her voice made me want to smile. “Sort of. I learned something recently
that changed my mind about all these stupid social rules.”

“What
was that?” Mark looked genuinely interested. Karyn glared around his chest.

I
shrugged. “Nothing interesting. But it made me realize that no-one else is
better than me, you know? So why should I let them win? It kind of feels like
if I do, I’m helping them, well,
cheat
.”

Mark
frowned and Karyn’s eyes flared.

“In
the game of life,” I added hastily.

Mark
looked puzzled.

“Karyn
knows what I mean,” I told him, flapping a hand towards her.

“You
two talked?” He looked down at Karyn. Her eyes slid from my face – hard,
cutting, shooting flame – to his, morphing into self-conscious adoration in the
process.

After
a beat too long she replied. “Only for a minute,” she said, then blinked
prettily. She  sounded, of all things,
humble.

I
snorted. Right. Gag me with a fishhook. Seriously. Just yank my guts up through
my esophagus and out of my throat. How did she
do
that?

Mark
opened his mouth – and I was looking forward to hearing whatever Karyn would
come up with to answer the inevitable questions – when the waves ahead of us
parted and a tall, athletic, male form in jeans and a loose hoodie that made
his shoulders look six feet wide slid to a stop in front of us.

“Did
you guys hear?” Liam had hair white and soft as a baby rabbit’s. His usually
porcelain-pale face flushed red whenever he was excited, and his eyes put me in
mind of some kind of porcine animal (an anteater, or a hedgehog, I’d never
quite decided). But somehow the six-foot frame, all-state tennis record, and
easy laugh made up for it. Next to Mark he was probably the most popular guy in
our class. And, strangely, he’d never targeted me.

Of
course, he never registered my existence either. Like right now, his gaze
flicked between Mark and Karyn making his question for them, without so much as
a blink in my direction.

Our
little procession stopped. Karyn’s eyes lit up at the hint of gossip, while
Mark just shook his head.

Liam
leaned closer. “Dexter’s back.”

My
stomach spiraled. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t possible, surely?

Mark
and I were both silent. I pleaded with God to make it a bad coincidence.
Please,
let there be another “Dexter”. Please!

Karyn
obviously gave up trying to read everyone’s minds. She came to life first.
“Who’s Dexter?”

Dexter
was my secret ex-boyfriend. Sort of.

Liam
glanced down at her, then grinned. “That scary skater-kid who got expelled at the
end of last year for beating up a teacher.”

That
too.

Karyn’s
mouth dropped open with delight.

Mark
looked at me, my alarm and disbelief mirrored on his face.

“Th-that
can’t be right. I mean, why would they let him back in?” I stammered.

Liam
looked startled, like I’d just appeared out of nowhere and started talking. But
recovered quickly enough to shrug. “Who knows? Apparently he was in sophomore
classes for the first two periods. But someone saw him in the hall and Finn ran
into him in Coach’s office. He’s going to be on the team.”

What?
Dex? A
footballer?

“Everyone’s
gone to the rec room to see if he’ll come there for break.” The rec room was a
small, thin, former classroom that had been assigned as a sitting room for
anyone in the junior class. We were allowed to go there for breaks, free
periods, or during lunch. It wasn’t much except some old furniture and
motivational posters, but Mark’s crowd liked to hold court there.

The
Dex I knew wouldn’t have been seen dead there…but he wouldn’t have been “talking
to Coach” either.

Karyn’s
love for gossip meant she clearly couldn’t get involved in this little drama
quickly enough. She leaned forward into the news, like she might take off right
then to find Dex.

But
I took a step back.

This
couldn’t be right.

Mark
looked at me and swallowed. He knew the story. Knew what it would mean for me
if Dex was here. But he was sworn to secrecy. He couldn’t say anything in front
of the others.

“Well,
come on!” Karyn said in her little-girl voice. “Let’s go. I want to meet this
guy.”

Mark
was still staring at me. “Stace?” he asked carefully.

I
shook my head. “You guys go. I have…I have to go to the library.”

Karyn
and Liam had already turned and started through the crowd, Karyn obviously
pumping Liam for more information.

I
started walking backwards, eyes locked with Mark. His face had gone blank. I
knew he’d be concerned, and I appreciated it. But no
way
was I going to
risk running into Dex.

“See
you,” I called quietly and turned, plowing back through the crowd the way we’d
come, trying to ignore the tightening in my stomach and the chilling nerves
playing havoc with my muscles.

I
doubt Mark tried to follow – it would have looked strange to everyone else if
he had. But he’d track me down later.

For
once I hoped he wouldn’t find me.

Something
smacked into my shoulder. “Watch it!” a voice snapped.

My
shoulder ached. But I just kept my eyes down and kept walking. I couldn’t
afford to stop. I couldn’t afford to get upset. If Dex was headed for the rec room,
then I would take my spinning head and hide in the library.

This
didn’t make sense. Why would they let him back? And if he knew he was coming,
why wouldn’t he have at least warned me?

I
scoffed. That was easy. He’d left town without even telling me he was going.
Why bother letting me know he was back?

I
scuttled out the door at the end of the hall, took the long way around to the
quad, and ducked through the library’s glass doors without taking my eyes off
my feet.

Now
that the first of the shock was wearing off, anger and fear moved in to replace
it. I pushed through the set of swinging fire doors into the library with a
little more force than was strictly necessary. The librarian snapped her head
up and frowned. But I just stomped across the room, ignoring her.

Why
would they let him back?

“I
thought I’d find you here.”

The
voice stopped me cold. It was a little deeper than I remembered. Oddly, a
little warmer. In the second before I turned, I thanked God that I’d been
warned. It was the only thing that let me pivot on my heel to face him, raise
my eyebrows and say in my most nonchalant voice, “Dex? What are you doing
here?”

He
sprawled in one of the fat reading chairs that littered the library to
encourage deviant high schoolers to take a seat with a book. One massive foot
dangled from the top of the other long knee. His shoulders matched the breadth
of the chair when he was slouched in it like that.

An
alarm-bell rang somewhere in my head, signaling that all was not right here.
But I was too busy absorbing the sight of him, right there in front of me after
almost a year. It wasn’t until my gaze slid up his firm torso, to his throat,
his jaw, his eyes, that the screaming in my head stopped.

“Dex?”
I asked. Because the Dex I’d known was nowhere to be seen.

The
Dex I’d known had a shaved head. An eyebrow piercing. Lanky limbs. Elbows too
big for the rest of him (which was saying something). He’d had eyes that were
always hooded and glazed, bad skin, and an attitude to match.

This
Dex looked like someone climbing out of the Levi’s catalogue.

He
unfolded himself from the chair and stood, hands shoved into the pockets of his
jeans, with a smile that tried too hard. His hair hung long enough to fall
across his forehead and almost into his eyes. But it was clean.

In
fact, I realized, everything about him was clean. He’d always been grubby
before – dirt and grass stains on his jeans, holes in his shirts, hats with
sweat-rings.

But
now his white t-shirt was spotless under a black leather jacket that fit him
perfectly. The elbows on it crinkled like it was a favorite – worn all the
time. Yet there were no oil-spots, no pulling seams, no cigarette holes.

He
must have seen my confusion, because a wide grin split his face. He took a step
forward, but stopped when I took a step back.

The
grin disappeared and his hands came up, palms to me, like he was soothing a
skittish animal. “It’s okay, Stace. I promise.”

“What
happened to you?” My voice was too soft, too pleading. I didn’t sound angry.
Worse, I didn’t sound like I didn’t care. “Why did they let you back?”

His
brows pulled down. “What do you mean?”

“They
expelled you. Why did they let you come back?” My brain kept short-circuiting
on that. What was he even
doing
here?

“Oh…well,
I guess that’s what the rumors said, huh?”

I
waited.

“Can’t
believe everything you hear,” he said carefully watching my face.

“I
wouldn’t have had to if you’d told me what happened. Where you went. The fact
that you were
going
.”

His
shoulders rounded. He nodded to the carpet. “You’re right. I know. I’m sorry. I
should have written. But I was so busy at first–”

“Dex,
I don’t want to hear it. Seriously.”

He
frowned again. “Hear what?”

“Whatever
excuse you have for falling off the face of the earth.” I said quietly.
For leaving
me to find out from
Belinda
that you were never coming back.

He
nodded again. “You’re right. That was wrong of me. I’m sorry.”

I
gaped. Who was this guy? He looked like he’d body-snatched the Dex I knew,
taken a few months of weight-lifting classes, and consulted a stylist. And he
apologized
?

“I
don’t expect you to trust me…at least not right away,” Dex continued, his eyes
locked on mine. “But I want you to know that I’m really sorry for…for
everything. And I’ve changed.”