Breaking Kate: The Acceptance Series (20 page)

*Me, too. Unfortunately, probably won’t be home till after 10 and you’ll be in bed by then. Guess we’ll have to catch up tomorrow?*

He must be on a break; his text comes in almost immediately.

“Unfortunately.
I guess that’s how it will have to be. Have a great day, beautiful.”

I’m so disappointed, but I guess this is how it will be, at least until graduation.

*You, too. Be safe today*

The best part of my day today is my class with Connor. We always go to lunch which he always pays for no matter
how
hard I try to pay for myself. Today we go to Panera; they have the best salads and green tea iced tea ever!

“So, how’s my girl doing, Connor? I don’t ever get to see her anymore—you’ve been keeping her very busy.”
Oh my god, he’s blushing!
I would have never believed it if I wasn’t seeing it.

“Things are good, Kate. Things are
great
, actually. I like Jess a lot; she surprises me at every turn. She’s funny and sweet, sexy as hell, and still empathetic to people. You know, we were out to dinner the other night and there was a homeless man and his son outside. It was so sad. I’m surprised CPS hadn’t taken the kid away already. Anyway, she rushed through dinner so that she could go talk to him. I was pissed! Not because she did it, but because she had no regard for her safety. She was out the door before I could even pay the bill. I get out there and she’s asking them what happened to land them out on the streets. Turns out his wife was killed in the war, and they were in military housing, which they lost. He was a stay at home dad. They couldn’t afford daycare, but the mom also really wanted him to have his dad around since she was deployed. I’m not really sure of the details, but I guess the death benefits in the military don’t pay much and living out here they couldn’t afford to rent a place. He can’t get hired anywhere because of the economy and because he hasn’t worked in almost six years.”

“Jess told them to follow her. She marched down the block to the closest store and bought gift cards, at least two thousand
dollars worth for clothes, food, you name it. Then she found a hotel around the corner, a really nice one. She rented them a room for a month and left specific instructions for the manager to call her. I don’t know how she works her magic, but she got the manager to give him a job in maintenance and now he has a month to save up to move. He’s got a job and the military benefits, so he’ll be okay. Can you believe it? In one night, in the matter of two hours, she changed two lives. Actually, three if you count mine. I’ve never been so taken with someone and their actions before; she makes me want to be a better person. When I tried to talk to her about it, she just blew it off like it was no big deal, but it was
such
a big deal.”

I’m stunned. I know Jess does stuff like this all the time but not to
this
extent.

“My best friend would save the world someday if she could. She’s the most kind-hearted person I know. I didn’t know about this, she didn’t tell me, but I’ve seen her do similar things for other people before. She’s an angel on earth. So many people are mean to her, assuming because she’s so pretty she’s a bitch, so they just cut to the chase and are bitchy to her right off the bat. It really hurts her feelings. She’s probably the sweetest person I’ve ever met in my whole life. I think it’s because we both got the short end of the stick when we were kids. Besides Maryanne, we only had each other.”

Connor looks sad. “That must have been rough. Jess told me about Chloe; she sounds like a real piece of work. You guys turned out amazing. You take all your pain and use those feelings to want to help others so that they don’t have to go through that kind of hurt themselves. It’s admirable, really. Daniel, Jake, and I were raised by perfect, or seemingly perfect, families in the land of Little League and football, protected from as much of the bad in the world as possible. It was a great thing growing up, but now I wonder if my compassion is lacking because of it.”

I laugh. “I’m sorry, Connor, but I don’t think you guys are lacking anything. We all just handle situations differently. You guys are two of the nicest men I’ve ever met. You want to see someone lacking empathy, let me introduce you to my father. Trust
me, you’ll change your tune real quick.” 

Connor fidgets uncomfortably. “About that, don’t be mad, but next week when your dad comes by, Daniel asked that Jess and I be there. He doesn’t want you alone with him in case you get upset. I promise we’ll stay upstairs and out of your way, but Daniel said if we don’t stay there he’ll come down. You don’t want that, Kate, because if he does he won’t leave your side.”

I should be pissed.
Who does he think he is to be making demands on my friends and on me like this?
Ironically, I’m not mad at all. I’m tingling all over with happiness that he doesn’t want me alone in a stressful situation.
My god, when did I become that girl?

“It’s okay, as long as you guys stay upstairs. It would be best if you’re there before he gets there, though, and don’t interrupt. I would really like to eat fast and get him in and out as quickly as possible.”

“Yeah, sure, we can do that. So, how did you like your coffee this morning, gumdrop? Was it hot enough for you?” He’s smirks at me.

“My coffee was fine, although I wish it would have been hand delivered by Daniel instead of Jess. This sucks with him being so far away, but at least I’m not falling behind in my work. Actually, I’m a little ahead right now because everything I usually do on the weekends I’m trying to finish during the week so I can spend time with him and not stress about homework. How pathetic is that?”

“That’s not pathetic at all—it’s smart. You can’t afford to fall behind for anyone or anything. Your goals are important and
no one
should hinder that, even if he
is
my best friend. You know, he’s got that panty-dropping smile down to a science and you’re putty in his hands. You would never get your work done with him around.”

“Speaking of panty-dropping smile, I hear he has quite a posse when you guys go out. What’s
that
all about?” 

“You aren’t the jealous type, are you, Kate? I would have never guessed it if you are. It’s nothing really; Daniel just attracts girls like crazy. We mostly go to sports bars and girls flock to those places, hoping to run into a guy who’s on the track to fame and fortune. Daniel fits the build so he gets a lot of attention. If those girls only knew how much Daniel hates how girls throw themselves on him unsolicited. He’s old school that way; he likes to make the first move. He’s never gone out with anyone that has thrown themselves at him before, except for Vanessa. He was drunk that night and said he was going to make an exception to his rule because she was hot and he was lonely.
Big
mistake. Little did he know how much it was going to bite him in the ass later. Kate, trust me when I say this, drunk or sober, I have never
once
seen Daniel cheat on a girlfriend. It’s just not in his DNA. He really
is
a great guy, and I’m so glad he found someone that will love him back with the same love he gives.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not jealous, at least I don’t
think
I am. I’ve never really been in a position to know what that would feel like, so for now he’s safe.” 

“I don’t know, Kate. I would say he’s far from safe, we
both
are. He’s got it bad for you and I’ve got it bad for Jess; we’re like a couple of lovesick puppies. I can tell you right now, you’ll never get rid of Daniel unless you want to, that boy is in deep. I am, too. I could see myself with Jess for a long time, maybe forever, which works out really well for us if I someday marry your best friend and you marry mine.”  Connor has the biggest shit eating grin on his face right now, and if I had to guess, I would say that he’s in love.

“Connor, in all seriousness, please wait to tell Jess how you feel until you’re sure, and have patience with her if she doesn’t say it back right away. We both have abandonment issues. I
knew
my mother loved me growing up, but she didn’t, and she sees how fast Chloe goes through men. She’s secretly afraid that she will find a guy and his feelings will go away fast, just like Chloe’s husbands, but I promise you, she
can
love and
does
love with her whole heart. Just go slow.”

“Thanks for the info. I’ll go
slow. For me, it’s too fast to tell her I think I love her even though I might.”

Seriously, Jess can’t keep
anything
to herself. I can’t
believe
she told Connor!

“Hey now, before you get your panties in a bunch, I didn’t hear that from Jess—I heard it from Daniel. He asked me if it was wrong for it to be so right so fast. I told him the truth. I told him that somehow you guys look like two old souls that finally found each other again, and if he felt it then he should say it and not let you go. You CAN trust him Kate; this isn’t a fling for him. And just to be clear, he doesn’t typically move this fast with anyone. I would say that makes you very special. He wants to romance you and make you feel cherished. Normally, I would say that is called being whipped, but I know you and what you’ve been through with that douchebag Michael; you deserve to be pampered and loved.”

“Connor, Michael’s in the past. Yes, it still hurts, and no, I didn’t deserve what happened, but he was hurting so badly, more than anyone should ever have to deal with, and he said things out of anger. I think he should have apologized, but that’s neither here nor there. It’s over and I’m finally moving on. I don’t wish him any harm. As far as romance and pampering, I’ll take that if he wants to give it; I’m no dummy.” 

We continue talking until I have to leave for study group.  I just have to tell Connor one last thing.

“Since Jess is spending the weekend with you, you should take her to Sea World, you have three days. She loves to feed the dolphins and sit where Shamu can splash her.”

“Thanks, gumdrop, I’ll keep that in mind. Now, tell your favorite brother why you have a new nickname.”

“Well... You need to ask Daniel that, but I don’t think he’ll tell you. I’ll tell you this much, it’s probably not brotherly for you to call me gumdrop, and if you’re
feeling
brotherly when you ask him,
IF
he tells you, you might want to kick his ass. But if you’re in friend mode, I’m sure you’ll think it’s as funny as he does.”

“Oh god.
It’s sexual and involves his favorite candy. Maybe I’ll pass on this one.”

Laughing, I give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and leave him smiling like a school boy.

Chapter 13 – Daniel

This has got to be the longest week of my entire life. Work usually keeps me pretty damn occupied. You would think with multiple projects, all the running back and forth, and the crap load of meetings I’ve been going to it would make the time pass faster. Nope, not at all. All I can think of is Kate—her voice, her smell, her touch, and the sounds she makes in bed.
Fuck, I’m like a twelve-year-old boy. Just thinking about her gets me hard.
Thank god I’m done for the day and only have to suffer through a half day tomorrow so I can finally go and be with my girl.

I sent her flowers today. Jess was home to meet the delivery guy and she put them inside already. Kate loves gardenias, so I sent her two dozen. I just wish I was there to see her reaction when she gets them. At least now I can go home, shower, and then meet Mike. We’ve got some business to discuss first, and then
it’s guys’ night—beer, pizza, and pool. Personally, I’m getting a little sick of pizza, but since Mike’s paying, I’ll eat it. It’s so nice out today; the sky’s blue and there’s a cool ocean breeze blowing through the house. Nothing beats the view of the ocean after a long day; I just wish Kate was here to enjoy it with me. I’m glad I was able to cut out of work a little early—doing business at Mike’s is much more relaxing than being in the office. Hopefully, Kate will call before I leave. I’m probably being stupid, but I’m not really comfortable talking to her in front of Mike yet. I don’t want to make him feel bad until he figures out what he’s going to do about his ex. Just when I get out of the shower, my phone starts ringing. I quickly grab a towel and throw the phone on speaker since I’m dripping wet.

“Hello, beautiful, how was your day?”

“Better now that I have a beautiful arrangement of my favorite flowers sitting in my room. You’re spoiling me, Daniel. Every day this week you’ve done something so sweet for me. I can’t help but wonder why.”

Poor thing, why is she over thinking it?

“Hey, there’s no reason to wonder why. This isn’t a prelude to something bad or to you finding out I have a bunch of girls on the side or anything like that. These gifts are my way of being a part of your day since I can’t be there in person. I want to spoil you with affection; I think you deserve it. You deserve someone who is willing to show you how much he wants you, needs you and misses you.”

I hear giggling, that’s a good sign.

“Okay then, I wasn’t over thinking it to that extent, but it’s nice to know how you feel. How come you have me on speaker? Are you busy? Am I interrupting something important? You can call me back if you want to.”

“No, nothing important. I was literally just stepping out of the shower. I put the phone on speaker so I could grab a towel and dry off.” 

She’s very quiet for a minute. “So you’re naked, huh?”

“Completely. It’s nowhere
near
as fun as being naked with
you
, though.”

“I wish you were naked here with me, Daniel. I can think of
many
things I’d like to do to you, all of which involve you being
very
naked.”

Holy shit.
She’s seriously making me hard, just the tone of her voice is unbelievably sexy.

“What
kinds
of things do you want to do to me, Kate?”

“Oh, now
that
would be telling some secrets. I want to do something with you right now. Two questions—are you alone and do you have lube?”

Well this could be embarrassing, but what the hell; she’s too fucking erotic to let this pass by.

“Yes to both.”

“Get your lube and go to your room. Let me know when you’re ready. I’m alone in my room, and just so you can picture it, I’m in a black bra with red lace trim and matching thong panties.”

My dick just got harder picturing her on her bed in her sexy lingerie.

“Okay, babe, I’m ready for you.”

“Good. Keep me on speakerphone; you’re going to need both hands. I’m putting you on speaker, too. Now, I want you to put some lube in your hand and rub it slowly up and down your shaft. I have lube, too. I’m rubbing it all around my clit and down my lips, touching myself and imagining it’s you.”

Holy fuck, phone sex
. I’ve never had phone sex, and just hearing the hitch in her voice I can tell she’s doing exactly what she says she is.

“Oh, babe, those sounds you’re making are really turning me on. My dick’s so hard. I need you, Kate, so badly. I hear your breathing; you sound so turned on. Are you ready,
baby? Slide your fingers inside and tell me if you’re wet.”

“I’m
dripping
wet. I’m so ready for you. My two fingers are sliding in and out just like you asked, and my other hand’s rubbing my clit. I’m not going to last long. I’m picturing you, your fingers inside of me, moving in and out slowly, then faster and faster until I just can’t take it anymore. Are you stroking yourself, baby? I hope you are. I can just imagine how hard and perfect your dick looks right now. I can see the pre come dripping from the head of your dick. I wish I was there to lick it up, to taste you on my lips, to hear you say my name as I pleasure you. Now, take your other hand and gently grab your balls. Picture me stroking you, grinding on you, moving up and down just the way you like it.”

Shit, I’m not going to last like this
.
. All I hear is her sexy, breathy voice hitching as she’s trying to get me off, but I can tell she’s about to come. This is so fucking incredible.

“I’m rubbing my cock just like you do, squeezing it tight just like your pussy does. I’m going to come. Come with me, please.”

“Oh Daniel, yes. Oh fuck yeah, I miss you so much. Oh god, ohohohoh.”

I hear her screaming as she comes and I find my release. That was fucking awesome. Now I need another shower but it was so totally worth it.

“Kate, that was the most
amazing
thing any girl has ever done with me. It was so erotic. I’ve never,
ever
had phone sex before but now I see what all the fuss is about. That was also a perfect way to show me you miss me, by the way.”

She’s laughs. God, I absolutely love her laugh; I can just picture her dimples.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I did, too. Just so we’re clear, I’ve never done that before, either. I miss your touch and really wanted to thank you for being so sweet this week. I know this is going to sound awful, but I wasn’t expecting for us to do that and I have study group in less than an hour and now I most
definitely
need a shower. Would it be okay if we talk later?”

Now I’m busting up. “So, just a quick hit and run, huh?
It’s okay, I was actually on my way over to Mike’s. I’m surprised he hasn’t called yet. We have a business meeting and then we’re going to hang out. You’ve made me late and I need to shower again, too. Speaking of showering, that’s definitely something I need to do with you this weekend. Sex in water is so hot, but for now I’ll let you go and I’ll call you tonight when I get home. And, Kate, one more thing, I think I love you.”

I know that’s a lie. I don’t
think
I love her anymore, I
know
that I do, and I’ll do
anything
to make this girl love me back.

“I think I love you, too. I’ll talk to you tonight.”

After my second shower, I arrive at Mike’s about a half hour late. I’m surprised he didn’t call or text; he’s sort of anal about people being on time. I’m so happy, I feel like I’m walking on air. Mike will definitely pick up on my mood as soon as he sees the look on my face. I still don’t know how I got so lucky to find this girl who literally fills the other half of my soul, but I won’t question it. 

“Hey, Mike, how’s it going? You look pretty confused looking at those plans. Sorry I’m late. I got held up.”

Mike looks up and smirks at me. “Yeah, um, held up, huh? Where is she?”

“She isn’t here, she’s at school. I just talked to her before I came over. That’s why I’m late.”

“Talked about what? My guess is sex. So, how long are you going to keep her to yourself?”

I know I’m probably giving it away with my ridiculously large smile, but I don’t like talking about sexual acts with the guys. I respect my girlfriends enough not to get into details, but I don’t have to give him details to confirm the sex part.

“Yeah, I sent her flowers. Actually, I’ve been sending her a gift a day all week. I guess the flowers just really impressed her because one second we’re having a casual conversation and the next minute we’re having phone sex. Who knew it could be so hot? I always thought phone sex was kind of creepy.”

Mike pats me on the back, laughing. “Welcome to the real world, brother. Phone sex is pretty cool if the girl knows what she’s doing. From looking at your goofy grin, she
must
know what she’s doing. You’re still pretty head over heels then, huh?”

I let out a long sigh. “Yeah, man, a little more head over heels than I even want to admit to myself. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but someday, when there are little kids running around, I can tell them I loved their mom at first sight. And if for some reason the universe is cruel enough to keep that from happening, you and I never had this conversation.”

“Sure thing, man. This conversation never happened. I’m glad you found her, though. I like seeing you this happy over a real woman who isn’t trying to play us against each other. That Vanessa shit was the nastiest mess I have ever been sucked into. That girl needs serious psychological help.”

“Has she finally stopped trying to contact you? I know she was periodically trying to reach out to you.”

“Yeah, that stopped a few months ago; I think she finally got the hint. She kept saying she had something really important to talk to me about. I told her she was lucky I didn’t press charges against her for stalking and to leave me the hell alone. Speaking of girls, I’ve been thinking about what we talked about the other day, and I started writing her a letter. I’m going to be downtown next week, so if I finish it I can just drop it in her mailbox if no one’s home. I’m definitely not ready to see her and try to talk to her in person. Hell, I don’t even know if I’m ready to talk to her at all, but I have to try to make this right. I miss her too damn much not to.

“Good for you. I hope it all works out. Whether you get her back or you get closure, I think you definitely need to be able to move on and get out of your sexual rage.” 

“Seriously? I wouldn’t call it a rage. I don’t hurt anyone, not physically at least; rough sex never hurt anyone. I never had rough sex before we broke up and it’s just been easier to keep my feelings at bay if I never let anyone in close enough to have feelings attached to sex. I haven’t, you know, made love to anyone since her.”

“Mike, rough sex may not
physically
hurt anyone when you’re careful, but
emotionally
you mess people up, man. I know I mentioned this briefly the other day, but do you remember that chick Misty you hooked up with at our graduation party? She was a really sweet girl. We bumped into her the other day at breakfast. Not only did she recognize Conner and me, but she said she had really made an effort to get to know us because she really liked you. The poor girl had no clue that you were just going to one night stand her. She was still a little pissed you never called her after. She didn’t seem like the type of girl who would do that kind of thing.”

Maybe I shouldn’t have brought her up; Mike looks like he just paled a little.

“Of course I remember her, she was really nice. You know, I wasn’t going to sleep with her; we were on the road to a really great friendship. Unfortunately, I was drinking and started thinking. It was around my dad’s birthday and I was pissed and sad. So when she kissed me, I went with it. I’ve realized I don’t cope with things well. I never used to push things away, I always dealt with them head on, but once I lost Katherine I just basically gave up trying anymore. I felt really bad about sleeping with Misty, but I didn’t call her because I really couldn’t explain myself without sounding like an even bigger dick. Look, I’ve known you the longest out of all of my friends and I’m only opening up to you now after all this time. Maybe someday I can go talk to Misty; I have always felt bad about that.”

“That’s not a bad idea. I’m sure she would really appreciate it. So, speaking of girls, are you taking anyone to the engagement party next week?”

“Nope, I’m going solo. I really want a fresh start, and until I resolve all my issues, I just don’t want to screw up anymore. I want her back more than anything, but to even get her to consider it I’m going to have to come clean and she’s not that kind of girl. Even if she
can
forgive what I did to her, I don’t know if she can forgive everything I’ve done, and before I could even try and move forward I would have to explain it all. Shit, my chances are really slim to none, but at least with some closure there will be some finality to it. I need this to be over and done with.” 

I feel bad for him; he’s been running his hands through his hair for the last fifteen minutes, he does that when he’s super stressed out. I don’t really have anything to say but I have to try and make it better.