BreakMeIn (19 page)

“I can’t—”

“Shhh…relax for me. Good. See, you can do this. Just like
last time.”

The device slid past the tight ring of muscles, pulling an
unexpected groan from deep in his gut. As the item continued to slip through
his opening, his body went rigid, tension coiling tightly to the point of pain.

Elena’s hand swept over his back, curling against his nape.
“Relax, Alexander. You’ll be more comfortable if you just let it all go.”
Trusting her again, he did as instructed. The item slipped past the resistance,
pushing inside him fully before coming to a rest.

A wave of pleasure swept up his spine, radiating out with a
warmth he’d only come to know because of Elena. “My toy is going to ride your
ass so hard and deep you won’t know where you end and it begins, Alexander.”

As if on cue the device moved, withdrawing just as slowly as
it entered. He hauled in a breath, blowing it out slowly as it plunged
deliberately into him again, sliding over the highly sensitive bundle of nerves
she’d manipulated earlier. Awakening them again, but this time with a different
sensation.

Holy shit.

He’d never felt anything so erotic in his life. Had never
wanted anything more in his life. His head dropped as he accepted her gift of
dominance.

The item stopped moving, pausing before pushing inside him
again and again and again. His hands tightened around the chains holding him in
place, using them for a counterbalance as his body accepted the shaft.

The club faded into the background as he moved. For him
there was only Elena.

Her touch.

Her attention.

As the item continued to move inside him he hadn’t expected
to enjoy the machine. Fire burned through him adding to the pleasure coursing
through his body, wrapping around the ring cuffing his dick. The ring tightened
even more as his erection thickened with an approaching climax.

Pleasure raced through him, charging his nerves as the pace
increased. As he struggled to keep up. It felt as though something feral and
harsh was tearing at his skin, demanding release. His cock strained against the
ring, pulsing with a consuming energy he didn’t want to cease.

She dipped under the metal slat, her hair skimming across
his forearm. “Someday you will beg me to wear a plug for the whole day just so
you can do this.”

God yes, now, let me beg you for the privilege now.

He rode the thing shoving into his ass, over and over,
enjoying the sounds of his pleasure. Enjoying every moment she gifted him with,
knowing he was doing this for her just as much as himself.

“Do you enjoy being front and center before a crowd, your
cock straining away from your body seeking relief as you fuck my machine?”

“I don’t know.”

“The way you’re fucking yourself says you do. You’re the one
controlling the moment, Alexander. No one else.” She tapped her finger against
the tip of his straining erection, sending a wave of euphoria through the lower
half of his body. “This right here also says different.”

Grabbing the chains, he froze, using the bite of the harsh
metal to ground him. He met her gaze, holding it even when she sunk lower and
leveled a glare at him. “Because of you. Not them.” His words were sharp,
bitten off through clenched teeth as he fought to maintain his composure.

“Flattery won’t get you what you want.”

“I disagree. I only want to please you.” The machine drove
up into him, causing a quiet hiss to spill from his lips. It seemed just as
determined as she was to shatter his control.

She reached between his legs, wrapping her hand around his
cock. Almost immediately her pace matched the machine’s. “You can please me by
giving them what they came to see tonight.”

Unable to hold back any longer, the orgasm burst from him,
his scream of release lofting to the rafters high overhead. His hips pumped
uncontrollably, his thighs burning and straining as he drove up and down on the
shaft rapidly working in and out of him. Elena’s fist continued to pull hot
spurts of cum from him, spilling all over her hand and leather-encased wrist.

High on the euphoria, his body sagged in the restraints.
Exquisite pleasure rippled through him, his head filled with a fog. Through the
smoky haze, he watched her unscrew the dildo from the pole she’d attached it to
and slip the small toy into a clear plastic bag.

Startled by the size of the object he nearly choked. “Christ,
I thought it was bigger.”

“Did you? Or was it your mind telling you it was bigger?”

“It certainly felt huge every time it shoved up inside me.”

She smiled as she patted his shoulder. “Large is only a
matter of perception. Since you’re still a newbie to anal play this was just
fine for tonight.”

He understood what she meant about begging to wear a plug
for her. He wouldn’t hesitate to do so now without a second thought. The
powerful release was unlike anything he’d ever experienced before.

He already wanted to experience it again. If his body wasn’t
already spent to begin with. The emotional and physical release had taken their
toll on him, blindsiding him so powerfully he wasn’t sure he would ever
recover.

Someone appeared from the crowd, helping Elena position the
chocks under the front of the frame again. The restraints were released and he
stumbled forward before two pairs of strong hands closed around his shoulders.
Looking up, he saw Liam and Chaplin had caught him before he pitched forward.

He felt like a limp noodle. Loose and warm.

Elena’s hand swept over his jaw, her mouth brushing a soft
kiss against his trembling lips. “Gorgeous.” She kissed him again. “Simply
gorgeous, Alex. Can you please help him to the sitting area while I clean up?”

Elena finished cleaning the stage and pushing aside her
equipment and found Alex sitting on the couch, a bemused expression lighting his
eyes. Her body was buzzing from the euphoria of the scene and more than likely,
her own expression matched his.

“Feeling okay?”

“More than. Come sit with me, Elena.”

It appeared as though he would topple over at any second.
She sat beside him, tapping on his shoulder. She helped him stretch out on the
couch, pulling a thin blanket over his still-trembling form as she guided his
head to rest on her lap.

Looking down at him, his eyes were closed and his lips were
curled up at the edges. Damn if he didn’t look well and truly satisfied. “As
content as a cat with a warm bowl of milk.”

He groaned quietly as her fingers trailed through his
sweat-dampened hair. “You know, when I starting learning I had an interest in
all this, submitting wouldn’t have been at the top of my list. Probably the
last thing I would have thought about. But fucking-A
that
was amazing. I
feel amazing. You’re amazing.”

She felt heat creep across her cheeks at the last statement.
Though she knew it was the endorphins flooding his system she liked hearing him
talk so lovingly to her. “It surprises a lot of people. I think because normal
societal attitudes are toward men being the stronger sex. Men aren’t supposed
to want things like what I just did.”

“Strong has nothing to do with this as I’ve come to
discover.”

She was glad he had. “Sometimes you don’t always know the
path when you start out. I’ve known a few people who switch. A girl I knew in
college who was a Domme is now a 24/7 slave. She and her Master are quite happy
from what I last heard.”

“A year ago what you just said would have freaked me out. Hell,
what you just did to me would have sent me running away as fast as possible. I
think when I condemned Patrick it was Vivian’s opinion coloring my outlook and
I was too lazy to take the time to form my own opinion.”

“Possible.” Chaplin walked by with Heather in tow still on
her hands and knees. He paused for a moment, tipping an imaginary hat toward
her. A gesture of accord. She would be allowed back in the club, her slate
wiped clean because Alex had done this for her.

“Elena?”

“Sorry. I was saying she was your wife. You could have
naturally taken her thoughts and ideals as your own without thinking about it.”

“I think I was so used to my father running my life I just
naturally fell into the same pattern with Vivian. So I don’t understand…this.”
He waved a hand toward the stage they’d just been on.

“You feel as if submitting is giving up control. Yet, you
have it.”

“Exactly. It makes no sense. I feel like it should, but it
doesn’t.”

“A lot of things in life don’t make sense. Some things we
aren’t meant to understand. Do you feel the same sense, the same confusion,
when I have you tied up and coming?”

“No.”

“Then don’t question.” She passed her hand down his sweaty
torso, enjoying the feeling of those healthy muscles under her palm. “Just
enjoy.”

Beth rubbed her hands over her now-flat belly, sighing
deeply as she propped her feet on a low stool. “Oh this feels like heaven.”

“How are you feeling?”

“You would think with all the damn time I spend feeding and
changing this kid he would sleep more. But
noooo
. Let’s pretend Mom and
Dad’s bed is a bounce house at three in the morning.” She thanked Allison as
she handed her a frosty glass of lemonade. “You guys are spoiling me.”

“As any good friends would do.” Genevieve set a cinnamon
scone in Beth’s hand before placing the platter on the table. “So what hot-stuff
muscle mass are we watching tonight?”

“Fast guys and even faster cars.” Allison held up an
artfully arranged fan of DVD cases. “It’s a
Fast and Furious
marathon,
ladies. Get ready to get your Vin and Paul on.”

“I think I just orgasmed.” The group snorted at Genevieve’s
comment. They’d watched these movies so many times they had more than just the
script memorized. They knew every engine rev and every moment those bulging
biceps would be visible on the screen.

Elena sipped her lemonade as Allison popped the first disc
into the player. The acidic taste of the lemons was a perfect complement to the
summer night air shifting through the trees.

It felt good to kick back and relax with her girlfriends.
She’d spent so much time working on her latest piece and focusing on Alex’s
training she’d forgotten the simple joy of female conversation and eye-candy
movies.

Allison plopped onto the swing beside her. “Hey, no heavy
thinking tonight. You’ll survive one night without Alex.”

“Excuse me?” Genevieve looked offended. “You two are dating?”

Beth smirked. “Well now a few things make perfect sense. You’ve
been holding out on me, old friend.”

“Oh stop it, I have not.” She pointed an accusatory finger
toward Genevieve. “And you. You’re just too busy with your handsome new husband
to pay attention to anything else.”

Genevieve sighed as she curled up near Beth’s feet. “Still
haven’t gotten used to marriage. To him. And by god I hope I never do.
Everything is so new and shiny.”

“First time I’ve ever heard of heavy, sweaty newlywed sex
referred to as new and shiny. And Alex and I aren’t dating.”

“You’re just fucking,” Beth chimed in.

“I can see motherhood has done nothing to clean up your
mouth.”

Beth grinned as she tugged on the hem of her Shermer High
School shirt. “Have to get it out now while I can. Once this kid can start
talking, it’s all angel, all the time for me. Besides, I still haven’t been
cleared for sex yet. Consider yourself my role model. I have to live variously
through your lurid stories.”

“Sure you want to spend the night staring at your movie
husband then?”

Beth gestured to the screen where the previews had started.
“Best action I’ll get for the next few months because the doctor doesn’t want
me to overstress myself. Having Mal took a toll on my body and she wants to
make sure I recover and can pump out a few more.”

“Yet you’re here.”

“It’s always the little things with you, isn’t it? I’m
sitting. My feet are up. I’m relaxing. There. Doctor’s orders fulfilled. Done.”
Beth waved a finger at Elena, signaling she clearly wasn’t going to let her get
away with this so easily. “You. Alex. Fucking. Go.”

“Such an eloquent mouth. I’m just helping Alex find
something he is sure he’s looking for. Once he either has that or doesn’t—poof.
Done.”

“And you know as well as I do you’re talking semantics.”
Genevieve added her own finger-wagging. “Plenty of ways to fuck without
intercourse. Fingers. Tongues. Toys.”

“Here I thought you weren’t listening during sex education.”

“You know I’m right.”

Elena folded her legs underneath her. Clearly her friends
weren’t going to let her get away with a simple, dismissive explanation. And
why should they? She’d given them enough crap whenever they’d gotten together
other times like this. But she wasn’t going to concede easily. No reason they
couldn’t work for it. “We tried. Once. Back before he left for treatment. Talk
about miserable failure. Not really interested in a repeat performance.”

“Oh bullfrakingshit.”

Leave it to Allison to get creative with her swears. “Did
you three plan your verbal assaults? Look, Alex and I are friends. I have a
unique skill set to help him out. I am. Nothing more.”

“And you like him. Stare daggers all you want, Elena. I
listened to you talk about him enough. I’ve seen how you look at him since the
divorce. Since you agreed to take him on as your submissive. That is not the
actions of someone who doesn’t have an emotional investment in the situation.”

“With all the teenage angst flowing from you guys I feel as
though I’ve taken the starring role in a John Hughes movie. So he’s easy on the
eyes. Not as though Patrick, Ryan and Tony aren’t anything to shake a stick at
either.”

“Bullshit.” Beth this time.

Elena rolled her eyes. “If this is how the night is going to
go I’ll go grab a pack of cards and we could actually
play
Bullshit.
Maybe I could actually make some money off you guys. I don’t understand why I’m
being attacked. Aren’t we here to watch movies? Not examine the finer points of
Elena Mitchell’s lack of a sex life?”

“You know you’re attracted to him.”

“Yes, of course I am. There’s no denial there. I may have
had a small crush on him back in high school and college but I’m way past there.
We’re too good of friends. He married Vivian. When it didn’t work out he turned
to me because their sex life wasn’t exactly what you would call active. He
needs what I can offer as a Domme. Things end between us.”

“Wow.” Allison shifted, facing Genevieve and Beth, her eyes
wide. “She actually believes her own line of crap. A first I think.”

“Oh come on. There is nothing going on between us aside from
what happens at Sanctuary.”

“And the club.”

Damn Genevieve.

Elena straightened her shoulders and pressed Play on the
remote. Almost immediately Allison jerked it away. “What happened at the club?”
When Elena remained silent Allison turned to Genevieve. “What happened?”

“She’s bossy.”

Elena smirked. “Exactly what Patrick needs from time to
time.”

Genevieve pulled her hair down from the bun she habitually
kept it in, shaking her long brown locks so they fell well past her shoulders.
“All I know is hearsay. I wasn’t there to witness the event as I was catering
then. But our friend in denial here gave a stunning presentation with a
manually operated fucking machine mounted to a custom frame. And a certain
gentleman.”

“It wasn’t a presentation.” She swallowed hard, remembering.
But it certainly was a gorgeous sight.
She filled them in on the events
leading up to Alex’s atonement, knowing she had their full attention. “Jesus, I
can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I actually enjoyed it. I fed off his
reaction. The club atmosphere isn’t for him, we both agree, but he…came alive
on the stage. I’ve never seen anything so…fucking spectacular.”

“You can try to remain cool and aloof about this whole
arrangement with Alex, but we can hear it in your voice. You need to tell him you
have feelings for him.”

“I can’t.” She squeezed Beth’s hand even though she was
right. “I wish I could, but he’s still healing from his divorce. I have no
right to butt in and force him to deal with my silly notions. He didn’t ask for
love.”

“They aren’t silly. And it’s been two years. If he wasn’t
ready I don’t think he would have asked you to help him.”

“He never asked for me to toss my feelings at him. I’ve had
a very long time to come to terms with how I feel. I can’t do that to him.”
When Allison opened her mouth Elena shot her a stern glare. “I won’t. I love
him so much that I can’t tell him how I feel. Okay? End of story.”

It had been so long since she’d trusted a man enough to give
him a piece of her. Too long. With their closeness it wasn’t surprising she
felt this way. Every time he was near she wanted more. More of him. More of how
she felt when she was around him.

Seemed as though Elena Mitchell had developed an addiction
of her own.

* * * * *

Elena stared at the intersecting lines on her screen until
they blurred. A potential customer had contacted her for a special project. As
a result of his inquiry he’d given her a tight deadline. She wasn’t opposed to
working under pressure, but for some reason the ideas in her head weren’t
translating onto paper as well as she wanted them to.

She’d been blocked this way before so she knew the best
action was to simply call it a day and walk away from the trouble. She could
wander over to Dade’s workshop and shoot the breeze with him for a while. But
he’d just tell her to go back to the drawing board because he was confident in
her abilities even if she wasn’t.

At least someone has faith in me.

Frustrated because she couldn’t seem to get past the immoveable
wall, she saved the file. Rubbing her burning eyes, she pushed away from the
electronic drawing tablet. She rotated her wrist to loosen tight muscles
cramped from holding the three-dimensional mouse. If someone could invent a way
to take the image in her mind and simply make it appear in the drawing program
she would bow and kiss their feet.

Well, not as though she did such a thing. The majority of
the time someone was on their knees kissing
her
feet. The thought caused
her to smile and gave her the ability to push away the annoyance churning
through her brain.

Her cell phone chimed loudly, a signal of a meeting notice.

What had she forgotten this time?

She picked up her bag, grunting as she lifted its weight. One
day she would organize the behemoth a recent fashion magazine insisted she had
to have. Stupid of her to listen in the first place, but the lure of a gorgeous
purse was a hard thing to ignore. Between purses and shoes it was a wonder she
had any money left to eat. Thankfully her head for math allowed her to be
comfortably surrounded by both of her weaknesses.

She gave a triumphant cry as she found the device. The colorful
calendar reminder on her screen glowed bright, making her scowl as she thumbed
the button to dismiss it. Her night at Sanctuary. She hadn’t made any plans
with Alex to meet there tonight, but the notice served as a reminder just how
much she had come to love the place again.

Especially when she had the right company.

Annoyed, she dumped the phone into her bag again and scooped
up her sketchbook. Maybe if she couldn’t make her brain work at the computer
she could rough out something by hand.

A dull throb at the base of her skull let her know a
headache had started to brew. It was also a sign she should have quit working a
few hours ago, but the looming deadline was enough to make her push through. Tearing
off a sheet of the heavy paper, she carefully taped it to her inclined table and
pulled down the straight edge she had affixed to two guide wires.

After a few minutes of pencil strokes, which produced
nothing but what she saw as a jumble of lines, she knew she wasn’t going to get
anywhere fast. Elena growled, tossing her pencil to the desk when her sketching
didn’t produce any better results than her drawing tablet.

She caught sight of a sketch she had been working off and on
for the past two years. The reason she’d started this whole venture to begin
with. Grabbing the case she stored her pencils in, she dragged the easel over
and settled down on the high stool once again.

Maybe her calculations were the problem. Something about the
piece just wasn’t sitting right with her. And until she figured it out the
whole project would continue to be a source of contention. Grabbing her
calculation pad, she scanned the complex formulas she’d been working on.

She growled again when she noticed more than a few mistakes.

How could she be so careless?

“Quite an ominous sound. Sexy. But ominous.”

She jumped, blinking over the top of her glasses as she
turned. “Alex.” She was surprised to see him, she swung her hand wide. The pad
she’d been scribbling her formulas on hit the mug full of coffee, spilling the
contents on a sketch. “Crap. Crap. And triple crap.”

Panicked she’d lose the sketch, no matter how pitiful it
was, she scrambled to peel away the tape securing her drawing to the table.
Alex appeared at her side with a wad of paper towels and quickly helped her sop
up the puddle.

“Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay. The trig formulas weren’t cooperating anyway. This
whole project has been a thorn in my side from the start. I can use a
distraction for a few minutes.”

“You know, they make fancy, expensive calculators to help
you.” He glanced at the now-coffee-stained paper already turning brown at the
edges. “Interesting concept.”

“Thanks.” She carefully lifted the tape and placed the paper
gently on the desk behind her. “I still like doing my calcs by hand. As much as
I love technology at times, it makes me feel secure to write everything out so
I can see where I make a mistake.”

“How old school of you. Charming.” His warm smile soothed
her frazzled brain. He really needed to stop looking so damn appealing. “Thought
you could use some fuel. Looks as though I was right.” He slid the Perfect Shot
logo thermos toward her.

Her heart hitched at the sweet gesture. Well shit. Just when
she thought she was starting to pull things together. Sometimes, when it came
to Alex, she was her own worst enemy. She could try to fool herself that her
friends just wanted to see her happy, but she knew better. She knew the signs.
Knew Alex was everything she’d ever wanted—both as a submissive and a man.

Most of all—as a partner.