Breakout (A Dallas Demons Hockey Romance) (21 page)

Chapter 25

The One Online Dating Service Profile Question:
When it comes to exchanging gifts, do you like grand, elaborate ones? Exactly what is on your wish list?

My write-in answer:
Thoughtfulness means more to me than anything else.

I wake up, groggily opening my eyes to adjust to the morning light streaming through the windows. I notice Niko’s arm isn’t draped over me, like it normally is when he’s sleeping. I roll over and see that his side of the bed is empty, the sheets flipped back.

I listen for a moment.

The apartment is silent.

“Niko?” I call out.

No answer.

I sit up, furrowing my brow. This is weird. We always wake up together, and if he did leave, surely he’d wake me up and tell me, right?

Then I hear a key in the lock. I slip out of bed and go to the railing, as the bedroom overlooks the living area of the first floor. I watch as Niko steps inside the apartment, holding two Starbucks Red Cups in his hand and what appears to be a bakery box in the other.

“Good morning,” I call down.

Niko flashes me a huge smile. “Damn, I was trying to do this before you were up.”

“Do what?” I ask, leaning over the railing in curiosity. “Where did you go?”

“Come down here and greet me properly, and I’ll tell you.”

My heart flutters happily inside my chest. I dash down the steps, and as soon as I’m in the kitchen, Niko pulls me into his arms. I gaze up at him, still hardly believing this man is mine.

“Good morning,” I say again.

“Good morning,” Niko says, bending down and dropping a kiss on my lips.

“Mmm,” I say. “Now my day can start right.”

“What, have you been awake long enough to miss me?”

“Yes. I’ve missed you now for two minutes.”

We both laugh, and Niko kisses me again. I break the kiss and wind my arms around the back of his neck.

“So where were you?” I ask.

“I,” Niko says, “was going to surprise you with a special Christmas breakfast for today’s holiday treat.”

“Christmas breakfast?” I ask, curious.

Niko slides out of my arms and picks up a white bakery box. “I found a donut place that has holiday flavors. Including,” Niko says, pausing to lift up the lid for me to see, “
gingerbread.”

I’m greeted with the rich scent of gingerbread as soon as the box is opened. Before me are gorgeous donuts, two that are gingerbread, and two that are covered with Cap’n Crunch, much to my delight.

“Niko, these are perfect,” I cry happily. “I love them! Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome, baby,” Niko says, drawing me to him and planting a kiss on the top of my head.

“You couldn’t have picked out anything better,” I declare happily.

“They’re
you,
” Niko says, smiling at me. “I was going to only going to get gingerbread, but when I saw the Cap’n Crunch, I had to get that for you, too.”

I swear if Christmas weren’t only a few days away, I’d tell him I love him right now.

“You’re the most thoughtful person I’ve ever met,” I say honestly.

“I only wish I could give you more,” Niko says, staring down at me. “Because you deserve everything, Lexi.”

I’m about to protest, but Niko quickly clears his throat and moves to the cabinet where his plates are stored. “Come on. I’m dying to try these.”

I hesitate for a moment. I know Niko doesn’t want me to come back to that comment. But I do. Doesn’t he understand that baking cookies with him, sharing donuts covered with Cap’n Crunch with him, and having him give me a tree made out of hockey sticks means the world to me?

Money doesn’t buy thoughtfulness like this.

Or my love.

“Here we go,” Niko says, setting the plates down on the counter. “Which one first?”

I study him, his face so full of happiness right now, and I decide to save this conversation for later. When I tell him I love him, I’ll tell him he’s everything I want, just the way he is. And the only thing I want in return is for him to love me.

“Lexi?”

I shake my head. “Sorry. Trying to debate the first donut,” I lie. “It has to be gingerbread.”

“Gingerbread it is,” Niko says, breaking the donut in half and handing a part to me.

I eagerly take a bite. Oh, wow. The donut is a wonderful gingerbread cake, perfectly spiced, with a lemony-ginger glaze on top.

“God,” I mumble, “that’s sooooo good.”

Niko tears off a piece and pops it into his mouth, and his eyes light up as he tastes it.

“Man,” he says. “Incredible.”

He passes me my gingerbread latte, and I eagerly take a sip. “Mmm, this is the perfect Christmas breakfast.”

“I agree,” Niko says, finishing off the rest of his donut half.

I take a Cap’n Crunch donut and put it on my plate and pick up my coffee. Niko follows suit and sits down on his sofa, and I take a seat next to him.

“You still haven’t told me your coffee order after gingerbread latte season is over,” Niko says.

I laugh. “You’re obsessed, aren’t you?”

“I’ve got to take care of my girl,” Niko says easily.

“I promise once I decide I’ll let you know.”

“How do you not know?”

I grin. “I need to see how the new flavors roll out. There might be something incredible I’ll have to have.”

“You daredevil. Flying by the seat of your pants on that, aren’t you?”

I laugh. “Ha! Normally I
never
fly by the seat of my pants. But I do with lattes. And my current job,” I admit, frowning.

“What do you mean?”

“They won’t need me for baseball season, Niko,” I say truthfully. “They aren’t going to pay me to wait around until hockey comes back.”

I see recognition flash in Niko’s eyes. “I never thought of that.”

“I can survive that,” I say. “I can plan in advance to line up some short-term projects, or dip into my trust fund if I have to, but I’d rather go to work every day at TATS, you know?”

“I do know,” Niko says. “We have the same passion to work in sports TV.”

“But my biggest fear is what if they forget about me? What if they decided they don’t need me for hockey next season?”

“No,” Niko says firmly. “I won’t let that happen. I’ll make
sure
you’re coming back.”

“Niko,” I say softly, “I don’t want the job because you made them give it to me.”

“I’m not going back to shit opens, sorry,” Niko says firmly. “And we might butt heads on this, but I’m talking about you as part of my telecast, not my girlfriend. You can’t ask me to step back from that. And I won’t, as long as I’m still the producer.”

“What?” I ask, confused. “What do you mean, ‘still the producer?’”

Niko fiddles with the cardboard holder around his coffee cup. “They haven’t said a word about extending my contract.” He lifts his eyes to meet mine. “Maybe they’re waiting to see how the season unfolds. Or if a producer they really want becomes available in the off-season. Not some panic mode fill-in.”

My heart catches at his words. Niko honestly thinks he’s a mere body in the chair. The only reason he’s there is because it was meltdown mode at TATS.

“Don’t ever say that,” I say, reaching for his free hand. I squeeze it firmly in mine before continuing. “You might have gotten the opportunity out of circumstances, but you
belong
in that chair. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“Are you saying that because you’re my girl?” Niko asks, cocking an eyebrow at me.

“I’m talking about you as part of the telecast, not as my boyfriend,” I say smartly, using his own words on him.

Niko laughs. “
Touché
.”

He moves my donut plate to the coffee table and brings me into his arms, so I’m snuggled against him.

“If we’re both unemployed by summer, we’ll go to Greece,” Niko says, rubbing his hand down my arm as he holds me. “We’ll swim in the sea and take long naps and forget all this shit.”

While I hate the idea that either one of us could be unemployed by summer, let alone
both
of us, the fact that he’s speaking of the future with me in it makes me happy.

I lift my head so I can look into his eyes. “We’re going to fight for our jobs,” I say with determination. “We’ve both worked so hard to get what we have. And once we get them, and I do mean you, too, Mr. Xenakis, we’ll celebrate by going to Greece.”

I see nothing but affection shining in Niko’s eyes as he studies me.

“I don’t deserve you,” Niko says softly. “You have to put up with me being unstable in my job right now, me having to be on the road and not be here, and eventually my family. By the way, my mother is convinced you are a passing phase.”

I push myself up so I’m next to him. “You’ve told your family about me?”

Niko touches my face. “Yeah,” he says simply. “I have.”

My stomach tightens a bit. “They hate the idea of me.”

“Too fucking bad,” Niko snaps. “I don’t care what they think. All I care about is what
you
think. And I hope you can fight through them and not walk away, knowing you deserve better.”

“What I deserve,” I say firmly, putting both my hands on his face and drawing him closer, “Is you. That’s all I want. You.”

Then I kiss him, tasting the icing of the gingerbread donut on his tongue, savoring the sweetness of his kiss. I vow for him to believe me as I kiss him. I want him to know he’s all I ever dreamed of, all I ever wanted, all I could ever need for the rest of my life.

You’re The One,
I will him to understand.
You have to know that.

Niko breaks the kiss and nuzzles his nose against mine. “You taste like vanilla icing and Cap’n Crunch.”

I laugh. “Is that a good thing?”

“Let me make sure before rendering a verdict,” Niko says, grinning as he leans in to kiss me again. I melt against him as he explores my mouth with his in a sexy kiss. “Mmm,” Niko murmurs against my lips. “I like it. Very much.”

I eagerly kiss him back, wanting nothing more than to spend this morning entwined in his arms. As love fills me, I know we’re in a wonderful spot. We’re going to fight for our jobs. I’ve reassured him he’s all I need. And in the future, I can deal with his family. I don’t care if they reject me. I’ve been rejected before and survived it. As long as I have Niko by my side, what that they think doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t.

But right now
does
matter. Our future together matters. On Monday I’ll talk to Wyatt about what I want at TATS, what my goals are, and how I want to have a career with his network.

And later in the week, I’ll tell Niko I love him.

The future is right here.

I simply need to grasp it.

Starting on Monday with Wyatt.

Chapter 26

The One Online Dating Service Profile Question:
How important are your long-term career goals when mapping out a relationship with someone?

My write-in answer:
My career is very important to me, and it’s just getting started. I’m so thankful that Niko and I are on the same page as far as what we want and where we see ourselves going . . .

I take a moment to steel myself outside of Wyatt’s door on Monday afternoon. I’ve rehashed this conversation a million times in my head, outlining my points, my goals, and my hopes for a future career here at Total Access Total Sports.

I need for him to see my value, I think, watching as Wyatt types on his computer. To see that I’m worth keeping around on a permanent basis. That I can help out in areas other than hockey and be an asset to the network.

I draw a breath of air for courage and rap on the doorframe. Wyatt turns around, and he smiles when he sees me.

“Hey, Lexi,” he says.

“Wyatt, do you have a minute? I’d like to talk to you about something.”

“Sure, come on in. Give me a minute to finish up this email.”

I nod and take a seat in the chair across from his desk. Man, Wyatt is a mess, with papers stacked every which way across his desk. In fact, I can’t even see the desktop, it’s so cluttered.

Wyatt types away, and I glance around his office. Credentials from all kinds of big sporting events hang from the walls; pictures of key sports moments covered on TATS; pictures of him with other TATS employees at games.

I want a wall like this,
I think with determination.
I want a wall with clips of my best work in photographs. I want a wall outlining my career with TATS, starting with this year working on the Dallas Demons.

And I want to start building my wall now.

“All right, that’s done,” Wyatt says, spinning back around to face me. He grabs his Diet Coke can and takes a sip. “What’s up, Lexi?”

“Wyatt,” I say, “I want to thank you so much for this opportunity to work on hockey here at TATS. I’m enjoying every minute of it.”

“You’re welcome,” Wyatt says, smiling at me. “We’re lucky to have found you, Lexi. You’re a good editor. And I know Tony values your hockey knowledge.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” I say. “I love working on hockey, it’s what I’m passionate about. But I’m an editor, and I can edit anything. And that’s what I want to talk to you about.”

“Oh?” Wyatt says, a crease forming in forehead.

I nod confidently. “Yes. I know you have full-time editors here, and I know summer is a slower time of year for the network,” I say, acknowledging the situation I’m facing. “However, I still think I can be a valuable asset to you during the summer. As a full-time staff member.”

“Lexi, I don’t question your talent or your passion,” Wyatt says slowly, “but we don’t need another staff editor during the summer. There’s only baseball and golf.”

“I understand that,” I say, agreeing with him. “However, I can fill in when people are out on vacation. I could work on other magazine shows or edit for the news. Or maybe I could help edit packages for advertising or marketing, as I know they do video presentations. I’m willing to do anything to be a part of this team, Wyatt.”

Wyatt looks thoughtful for a moment. “Lexi, I would love to have you on staff, but right now in the budget I don’t have room for another full-time editor. Hopefully we’ll be able to bring you back for the Demons edits next season.”

My heart stops. What? Hopefully? What does he mean by that?

“Are you not planning to bring me back for hockey next fall?” I ask, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

Wyatt sighs. “Lexi, I know this is hard to hear, but we have to study our budget this summer and see what changes we can make for fall. Unfortunately, I can’t guarantee you anything beyond this season. We’re looking to develop some of our full-time editors to specialize in hockey, as that is more cost effective. And I feel it’s fair to let you know that so if you get another opportunity you can take it.”

My heart is now pounding against my ribs. I feel sick. Wyatt is telling me to find other work. He doesn’t want me back, and he doesn’t sound inclined to make room for me on the current staff of editors.

I’m not wanted.

The same feelings that attacked me when I saw Cassandra’s message about her pregnancy crash over me like a wave pounding against the rocks in a violent storm.

I slowly nod in understanding, but the movement doesn’t seem natural. I’m surviving on instinct right now, forcing myself to respond the way Wyatt expects me to as a professional.

“Well, thank you for your insight, Wyatt,” I say. “I appreciate that.”

“You’re welcome,” Wyatt says. “Anything else?”

I swallow hard against the tears swelling in my throat. “Um, no, that’s all I wanted to talk about,” I manage to say. “Thank you for your candor.”

“You’re welcome, Lexi,” Wyatt says. Then he takes another swig of his Diet Coke and spins back around in his chair, facing his computer.

I’m shaking as I pull myself up. My head is spinning as I make my way down the studio hallways.

I’m losing my job.

I’m losing hockey.

Wyatt’s words have devastated me. I thought for sure, worst-case scenario, I’d be brought back to work on the Demons. That I’d only be out of work for the summer.

But now I’m very well likely to be out of TATS by June.

I wander through the production hallways, the sports shots of athletes surrounding me as I move. I stop by Nate’s picture, of him ripping a slap shot, the curve of his stick captured perfectly by the photographer.

I’d know to show that highlight,
I think, choking back tears.
But I only have a few months left to do that before I’m gone for good.

“Hey, Lexi, isn’t that great news about Niko?”

I blink. I find Ryan walking up to me, carrying a stack of tapes in his hands. I know he does some college basketball during the off season, so it’s not a surprise to see him here.

But good news for Niko? My heart lifts from despair for a moment. Did Tony talk to him about a long-term contract?

“Hockey news?” I ask.

“That he’s interviewing for the Blades position this week,” Ryan says, grinning at me. “You must be thrilled for him, to have the chance to get the job he’s always dreamed of. I’m psyched for him. I think he’s got a great shot at getting it.”

I go cold. Fear freezes me as I absorb what Ryan is saying.

Niko has an interview to produce for the Baltimore Blades?

“What?” I ask, confusion filling me. “The Blades? What are you talking about, Ryan?”

Ryan stares at me, and the happy expression on his face vanishes. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry. Lexi, I thought he told you.”

“Told me what?” I ask, a feeling of panic rising in my chest.

“I shouldn’t say anything else,” Ryan says quickly.

“You might as well, Ryan,” I say, my voice shaking. “Apparently my boyfriend is thinking about moving back to Baltimore and neglected to tell me about it.”

“Lexi, I’m sure it’s not like that,” Ryan says, trying to reassure me. “He got the call this morning. I was with him at Starbucks when he got it. He probably was going to tell you in person. Please don’t be mad at him. I didn’t mean to start anything between you guys.”

I’m so stunned I can’t speak. Niko has an interview for the job he’s always wanted. Dallas was a
stop
to this job, and the call has come for him to take over the Baltimore Blades. The job he told me he coveted the first day we met.

He can go home now. Niko can take this job, and the security it offers, and show his parents he could live his dream and be a success.

And his dream doesn’t include me.

I’m on the verge of crumpling. I take a step back, supporting myself against Nate’s picture on the wall. The floor is swimming in my tear-filled eyes.

“Lexi? You okay?”

I lift my head to look at Ryan, but I can’t speak. I simply move past him, down the hall, and flee to the women’s restroom on the floor. I grip the granite countertop in my hands, trying to fight the dizzy feeling that is suffocating me.

I look at my reflection in the mirror. My face has gone white. My eyes are brimming with tears that are threatening to spill over at any moment.

Why didn’t Niko tell me about this? Wouldn’t I be the first one he’d call? To ask what I thought about it? To see what our future would hold if he were offered the job?

I gasp aloud as I realize why he didn’t say a word.

He’s rejecting me.

Just like Cassandra did when I was born by giving me away.

Just like Wyatt did a few minutes ago, in deciding not to create a space for me on staff.

The tears fall freely now, and I choke back a sob. Of all the rejections I’ve had in life, Niko’s is the worst. All his talk of Greece and being together and next Christmas was just that. Talk. Words that made sense and sounded good until his dream job fell into his lap.

His dream job.

Niko wouldn’t turn this down if it was offered to him. He’s a passionate hockey producer, and this was the one job he set out to get. And now it’s within his grasp. If offered, he’ll take it. I know he will. Just like I would never turn down a job from TATS.

The torrent of tears I’ve tried to hold back break loose as I come to terms with what has just happened.

Niko has chosen the Baltimore Blades over me.