Breathe (2 page)

I was as far from the entrance you could get, and the room I had been assigned was close by. So I escaped there. My room wasn’t nearly as grand as the space Kiro
had been assigned, but it was a nice space for my four pictures. The room was about 70 square feet, with white painted walls and a stone floor. The lighting was mainly focused on the paintings, which gave the room a gloomy, mystic look. I had chosen my most colourful paintings for this exhibition, all of them abstract with the nuance of blue, lilac and yellow. If you looked carefully, you might see the shape of a person in
Melancholy
, or a house in the picture
Shelter
. I also added some text to most of my pictures; phrases and quotes I found inspiring. The paintings were more about emotions than everything else.

There weren’t anybody else in my
room, and I didn’t know how to feel about that. I was glad to be alone, the hall was too pressing with people. But then again, my pictures were here to be seen, and hopefully sold. Not for the money, I couldn’t care less about that. But selling would be a sort of acknowledgement, like what I did mattered.

The short hallway
separating my room and the great hall was a small archway, just wide enough for two persons to pass at once. I went to stand in the opening facing the mass, trying not to look for him. I said hi to Peter, as he snapped a picture of me while passing. He had horn-rimmed glasses, and was dressed in a white shirt with a narrow black tie. He looked very much like a journalist, and even had a pencil behind his left ear. I went out with him once, after Alice dared me to. But after a night of awkward silence, neither one of us wanted to repeat the experience. I’m not much of a dater.

Alice was standing with Kiro and his brother Andrew. The TV-star. The whole thing was surreal. I had known Kiro for two years, and although he is kind of weird in a genius way, he always seemed like an ordinary human being. We all knew who his brother was, but he never made a big deal out of it. He was one of us.

I saw
Mary-Ann standing with a couple in front of one of Kiro’s pictures, hopefully making a sale. Good to see someone actually interested in the paintings. My eyes keeps drifting, searching involuntary until I find him. He was still in the middle of the hall, his wife stands next to him, holding his arm. She is taller than him, I noted. But still, they looked good together. I felt a pinch of jealousy, not only because she was holding him, but also because they had something, they had each other.

I tried
to look away, but my eyes kept returning to him. Maybe he noticed again, cause while I was standing there daydreaming, he turned toward me. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I forgot to look away. And when our eyes connect, I was consumed. My breath stopped, and I felt the hair on my body rise. There was an unfamiliar tingling down my spline as I watch him gaze at me, moving his eyes from my feet to my head. All the while his mouth twitches with that crooked smile. I felt appalled. And maybe a little turned on. Maybe more than a little. His eyes had accessed my body, I could feel it in his stare. And he seemed pleased. Finally my eyes let go of him and move to the floor, and I feel the familiar burn, as my cheeks became firing red. I don’t know if he was still looking at me as I raise my eyes again. I turned my face in a different direction, to avoid any more confrontations while my mind contemplate what just happened. It is stupid to think that he was a accessing me, he was standing next to a sexbomb. Although, I did feel fine tonight. The dress fit perfect. It had taken me a long time to be comfortable with my own body again, I finally felt in control. Most of the time, anyway. I wonder what he was thinking.
Not important
, I argued myself. But he did seem pleased. This was getting me nowhere. I glanced over to Alice and found her with the same group. Kiro sees me, and motion me over. Desperate for a distraction, I leave my safe haven and goes among the swarm of people.

‘Sara, you have to meet my brother. Andrew, this is Sara from Norway. You must see her paintings, the lights and contrast are amazing. Her style is like an abstract combination of Franz Marc and Monet. And she adds a whole new dimension to them by adding text. You have to see them.’

I blush
ed lightly of his underserved praise and took Andrew’s hand while Kiro continued: ‘Vi had to cooperate on an assignment once, and although we had our disputes working together, the final product was amazing, wasn’t it, Sara?’

Andrew had taken my hand, not to shake it, but to kiss it gallantly like in old movies. In fact, I think I’ve seen one of his characters do it on TV. It was hard to find the voice to answer Kiro.

‘It turned out alright.’ I turned back to Andrew. ‘Your brother can be quite the challenge some times, but he is a genius. It is nice to meet you, Andrew.’ I smiled to him, half wondering why he doesn’t make me as star struck like his friend. After all, I was standing next to a man belonging on the TV screen.

‘My pleasure,’ he smiles
back, giving me his full attention. ‘So you’re a fan of Marc and Monet?’

‘No, not really. Maybe they have influenced me, but not intentionally. I use paint to express emotions.’

‘Like the expressionist?’

‘Yes,
sort of.’ I was surprised that Andrew knew about art genre, but I guessed it came with the territory when having Kiro as a brother.

‘Have you ever been to the Brücke museum in Berlin? I think they have a large collection of expressionism.’

‘I’ve heard of it, but never been there,’ I confessed.

‘
I was there a couple of years ago,’ Alice chimed in.

The conversations continued on the art subject, and I was surprised to find that Andrew knew a lot more than I would have given him credit for. He talked of the museums he visited between filming in different parts of the world.

‘
All this talk of paintings are making me thirsty, I’m going to the bar to get some more champagne. Do you want some?’ Alice whispered in my ear after a while, and I nod slightly, too occupied in the discussion to look away. Andrew was easy-going and talkative, and soon he was on the roll with a story from when he and Kiro were young.

‘
Did Kiro ever tell you how he got lost at the Metropolitan museum? Kiro was about five years old, and since I’m four years older, my parents put me in charge while they went on a small tour. We where suppose to stay in the main hall, and mum gave me money to buy some chocolate. As soon as I turned my back on him he…’

‘
You spent that money on game cards,’ Kiro interrupts. Andrew just smiled and raised his shoulders. Then he continues about how he had to search half the museum to find his brother. He is a funny narrator, and I found myself relax in his company. Kiro pretended to be annoyed with some of his jokes on his expense, but I saw him hold back some laughter himself. It made me envious to see the relationship between the brothers, and I couldn’t help thinking if I would have experienced the same with my siblings if things where different. I hide those thoughts and try to focus on the story instead.

I assume
d Alice was back when I sense someone joining us behind me, but I don’t turn around. I was leaning towards Andrew and looking at some pictures on his phone, he wanted to show me some from the last time he went to Italy. It looked beautiful. He also made me laugh when he included some less unfortunate pictures of some of his co-actors. Some magazine would pay a fortune to get their hands on those.

‘
I hope your not showing her the pictures from our Vegas trip,’ a voice behind me said.

I almost jump
ed at the sound. It wasn’t Alice who was standing beside me, it was him. Although the voice didn’t sound the same as it did on the big screen, I recognise it easily.

‘
Ah, Chris, have you had a chance to look around? I hope you have bought at least five of my brother’s pictures,’ Andrew said playfully. I was afraid to look up, but are forced to when Andrew takes his phone back in his pocket. Then Andrew points at me.

‘
This is Sara, one of the artists in Kiro’s group.’

While knocking
Christopher lightly on the shoulders, Andrew turns to me. ‘Sara, meet my overpaid and overrated best friend Christopher Petrelli.’

‘
Don’t listen to him, he is just jealous because my last movie earned back more money than
Taken
has in its three seasons together.’

His voice was
beautiful, dark and sensual. I had to focus to hear the words instead of just relishing in the sound, and I kept staring at his lips. I felt ridiculous.

‘
It’s nice to meet you, Sara,’ Christopher continues, reaching for my hand.

I can feel the room moving. Definitive star struck. Ridiculous. Giving him my han
d, I take a step backward. I tried to smile. My heart was beating so hard, I was sure everyone in a ten-foot radius could hear it. And then it skipped a couple of beats by his next movement. He doesn’t shake my hand like I have seen him do all night. Instead he does the same as Andrew had done, he lifts my hand to his mouth and kisses it. I follow his movements mesmerized, unable to look away. When his lips touch my skin, I feel an electrical current running through my body. I was sure he noticed it to, and he holds my stare as he straightens.

‘
I saw you when I came inside,’ he said, still holding my hand. ‘At first, I thought I recognised you from somewhere, but I can see now that we haven’t met before. Have you been in London for long?’

He must have noticed my
accent, and I was suddenly self-conscious. But after two years in this country I thought I could hold my own. The bigger problem was finding my voice to answer. I tried clearing my voice, only to find it dry and un-cooperative. It would have been embarrassing if Alice hadn’t show up just then, handing me another glass of champagne. I smiled thankfully to her, and released his hand to accept the drink. After a quick taste of the liquid, I finally found my voice.

‘
I’ve been in London for two years now.’ That was all I manage. My belly was fluttering, and my eyes were still lost in his.

He was about to ask another question, when Alice interrupts to present herself. He moved his eyes over to her, and mine dropped to the floor. I tried to remind myself that he is only a human being, and there’s no reason to get all worked up about him. Even if he is insanely gorgeous. It was just a case of being star-struck, and I am too old for that. I raised my eyes following every line of his body, but stop blank when I reach his hand. My eyes get fixed on the bright golden ring on his fourth finger. I am so lost in thought that Alice discreetly pushes me on the side, obviously waiting for an answer. I looked questioningly at her, begging her to repeat it. I glance over at Christopher, who tilted his head and trying to hold back a grin. Kiro had left without me noticing, and Andrew was just standing there waiting. I could feel my face redden.

‘
I’m sorry, what did you say?’ I turned to Alice again. Clearly she didn’t take a hint.

‘
We were talking about his last movie, and I said he was awesome, and then he asked what you thought.’

‘
What movie?’ I hadn’t really heard anything of their conversation, I was too lost in my own thoughts.

‘
You know,
The Enigma
. We saw it last month at the Odeon.’

‘Sure, I remember.’ I franticly search my mind to find something
safe to say, because all I could think of was how hot he was in that movie.

‘And you loved it, didn’t you?’ Alice said, making me
blush.

‘
I’m sorry, Christopher. I thought you were ok.’ I couldn’t reveal my true opinions, or the fact that the love scene between him and a beautiful blond haunted my nights for a week. Both Alice and Christopher gaped at my causal answer, but Andrew laughed, shaking his head as he went after Kiro.

‘
Just ok?’ Christopher asked, dragging his hand through his hair with a smile. I met his eyes, and felt the connection again. Alice ruined the moment.

‘
Shut up, Sara. I know you loved it.’

‘I’m sure she did.’ Christopher chimed in, his smug tone annoying.

‘Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want a fan club? You are right. I loved the movie, and you were perfect in it, you were absolutely amazing. Definitely Oscar material.’

I almost slapped my hand over my mouth, not fully believing what had come out
of it. Neither did Alice, who just looks at me in horror. But Christopher laughed. I empty my glass, while Alice starts smoothing things over with her mindless chatter. I didn’t say much after that. Just nodded and smiled and tried to follow the conversations, so I wouldn’t be taken of guard again. The conversations were interrupted several times, with people wanting to meet Christopher. But they move on without him, and he remained by my side talking to Alice. I tried not to ogle him too much.   

Then Alice’s phone went off. I knew she didn’t want to take it, but it was the law firm she was working for part time, so she didn’t really have a choice. She excused her self and went of to find a quieter place to talk.