Breathe Again (11 page)

Fudge sticks.

She had to talk to someone. The clock ticked loudly, reminding her of the time. It was half past midnight. Who was she going to call? Who could she ask? There was one person, but if she started asking questions, he’d have questions of his own.

No. Stop
. She put both her hands to her ears to stop the voices from screaming in her head.

This was not about her. She changed into a clean set of clothes and went to find Nick.

*****

Nick knew something was wrong. Skylar was acting unlike herself. Not that he knew what her normal self was. He wasn’t sure about anything anymore when it came to her. She’d lied.

Right now she was standing in front of him and he couldn’t trust her. She was antsy. She avoided eye contact. She was hiding something. Her behavior was suspicious.

“Can we talk?”

His senses prickled. “You okay?”

She took a breath then sat down next to him in the empty resus room. He was catching up on notes in between patients. With the notes pushed aside, he took the cup of coffee she offered him.

“Thanks.”

“Do you know much about immunology?” She played with the paper cup in her hands.

“What I learned in med school and over the years.”

“The chickenpox, would it affect the baby?” she asked.

He wasn't sure why she felt the need for a lesson at midnight, but shrugging, he took a sip then set the cup down.

“Anne's baby will definitely develop chickenpox if she had it at the time of delivery.”

She took in a deeper breath. “What about us? We were exposed too.”

“Most adults have had chickenpox, but if they haven't, then there is a risk. I had the staff wipe down the resus room, made sure everyone was aware that she had chickenpox. Those medics should have handed that over. If we had a staff member who was pregnant, we would have put her at risk if she hadn't had chickenpox or the vaccine.”

“What kind of risk?” she continued.

“It depends on which stage of pregnancy. There could be abnormalities at birth, eye abnormalities. I have to look it up, but if I remember correctly, it's in the second trimester the risk is greatest. Thirteen weeks that the risk is a little higher.”

This wasn't a lesson at midnight. If it was, Skylar wouldn't look as pale as she did. She still avoided his gaze.

Why did she always do that?

“Is there something you need to tell me?” He sighed.

She was quiet for the longest minute. He thought back to that day in the hospital. That day when he went back to the house and saw the blood. At the instant he saw the blood, he’d known what had happened.

Did he feel a little bit of disappointment? He hadn't stopped to think. He had raced to the hospital, had found her in the bed. He remembered the look of loss in her eyes.

He clenched his hands into fists. He had assumed. Now she’d proved to be a liar.

Her gaze lifted. That day, he’d assumed and she hadn't told him otherwise.

The empty ache in his chest spread. Realization hit him in the gut. “You lied? Again.”

Her lips trembled. “I'm sorry. But it's what you wanted.”

Besides the point.

He let his fingers run through his hair. “Why would you lie? What were you going to do?” He paused. “Wait for the baby to be born and say surprise?”

She shook her head. “I didn't think this through. You didn't want a baby, and I didn't realize it would turn into a disaster.”

Disaster was an understatement. She’d lied about losing the baby. What else was she lying about? What else could she lie about?

“This,” he pointed to her, “is a big fucking disaster.”

“Nick.”

His gaze met hers. “Tell me you didn't see this coming.”

She looked at him with those doe-like eyes. His knuckles went white.

“Didn't see what coming? It couldn't be all bad. You wanted to marry me once, didn't you?”

He had never laughed, so he would never know what it felt like to want to. Whether it was a false one or not.

He walked out of the room, knowing he'd hurt her, but nothing could hold him back. If he stayed, he'd hit something. He'd want to hit anything. Punch out the wall. The desk. Inflict pain.

*****

Skylar’s eyes opened with a start, and the goosebumps along her arm was the first sign that she was being watched.

“Good—you're up.”

 “How long have you been in here?” She wiped her face.

His voice was a hard beat against the crisp morning. “A while.”

He sounded tired. It didn’t give him reason or license to stalk, but he sounded tired.

 “Get cleaned and changed. There are things we need to do.”

“What's that?” Her gaze grew cautious.

He searched the room for her robe then threw it at her. “We need to get some bloods.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, for the first time feeling underdressed. Her bones ached from being tired. “Bloods?”

His gaze roamed the room. He wasn't listening to her.

“Um, I’m not yours to order around?” Her voice cracked.

He cocked his head. His gaze sliced through her. “There’s nothing I want more than to walk out that door and have nothing to do with you.” Stepping closer, his finger pointed at her. “Nothing.”

Skylar shivered as the cold sliver of ice ran down her spine.

“But you made damned sure we all play a part in this.” He spat out the words.

She knew he was right. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lie. Trust me.”

He went to her closet and pulled out a shirt. He turned and flung the shirt at her. “You don't have the best track record in the trust department so far.”

She grabbed the soft cotton shirt. It hurt like hell, but he was right. “I'll change then we can go to get these bloods done.”

He paused and threw her jeans at her. “We'll need bloods to see if you have chickenpox antibodies. If you haven't, then you have a two percent chance of having a baby with abnormalities.”

Skylar’s gaze fell to her midsection. She turned her thoughtful gaze to his. He looked so composed. So sure and efficient. She always wished she could be like that. There were so many times when her life was such a mess. So many times when she thought a man in her life would sort it all out. A man like him. A man like her father.

“We.”

His gaze gave her mixed feelings. It made her feel all shaken not stirred in a crazy sort of way. But he didn't say anything. He just stood there.

“We,” she repeated. “
We
have a two percent chance of having a child with abnormalities.”

“Stop scratching.” Nick’s frustrated tone sent a swift sliver of irritation through her.

If looks could kill, Nick would be in rigor mortis.

Skylar had both hands covered in pot holders taped at the wrists, and although this could be looked on as an exercise in kinky, being covered in itchy chicken pox rash was the last thing making Skylar feel sexy.

“Have you taken your Tylenol?” he asked.

She snorted. Temporary truce or not, he was not helping. “Whoever said pain medication helps with itching lied.”

“That's all the medication you can take that is safe for the baby.”

She didn’t have to like the voice of reason.

“I know.” She was grumpy, but it didn't make her voice sound less so.

“If you stop squirming around like that and promise to be good, I will consider putting calamine lotion on your back.”

Music to her ears. Skylar stopped squirming and rubbing the pot holders along her thighs. “Promise?”

She was still trying to figure out why he was being nice to her. He’d made it clear he didn’t trust her, but it didn’t stop him from taking care of her. He wasn’t fazed by the risk to the baby, and she knew why. He wasn’t going to be around to deal with the consequences.

His breath was warm against her ear. “If you continue doing that, you're going to scar.”

She shivered. If only the attraction wasn’t still there, this would be so much easier.

He dispensed with her in one heated gaze. “You can put that look away.”

Like a dog with a bone, she gazed up at him. “Old habits.”

He took the bottle of calamine lotion and looked at it. “This lotion is smooth and warm. It should be fine to go on your…back.”

His eyes were so dark that her chest ached from lack of air.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had the calamine on my back.” She tore off the pot holders so she could take off her shirt.

She didn’t care that they were in the living room, or that they weren’t in a proper marriage. She did care that it was desire she saw in his gaze. It was more than that she sensed in that rigid line of muscle that ran between his jaw to his shoulders.

She swallowed as the room heated with anticipation.

The shirt fell to the floor, and his gaze went from her eyes to her breasts. She didn’t lift her hands in eagerness. Instead, she turned and spread her arms.

Who knew the simple act of applying a medicated ointment could turn into foreplay? She didn’t. She didn’t expect that he did either, but when he was done, his breathing was as ragged as hers. She turned slowly and wrapped her arms around him.

“I know I have no rights when it comes to you. I will do anything to make it up to you. I am so sorry.” She cupped his cheek and kissed it softly.

With her arms around him, she brought his head down for a kiss. He dodged her and sighed. “You, my temptress, need to learn a lesson.”

Skylar sighed as he took her mouth and kissed her fully. She’d missed him so much. His arousal pressed hard against her hip, and when he cradled her breast, warmth sang through her veins. His lips were so soft against her neck, she closed her eyes as she enjoyed the sensation.

His teeth scraped against her skin, and she tingled. “I’ve always loved the way you touch me and kiss me. I missed you so much.”

His thumb felt rough against her lip. “I missed you too.” He swung her into his arms.

The joy was fleeting, and she gazed up at him as she clutched at his shoulders. “Where are you taking me?”

“A man is weak as a baby kitty around you, Skye, especially a man like me.”

She curled her hand around his neck. “I wish that were true, Nick.”

In the next moment, she screamed in shock as he dumped her in tepid water filled with antiseptic.

“You didn't?” she sputtered, pulling herself up.

He stood above her. “I did.”

He straightened and walked out of the bathroom with no sign he felt any of the passion she did. She put her hands on the rim of the bathtub and rested her head on them.

“Nick, where are you going?”

“To take a shower.” His voice was gruff.

Skye smiled. She was willing to bet more than a dollar that it would be a cold shower.

*****

Two weeks later, Skylar looked at the colorful invite that Judie handed to her.

“You want me to come over to the bar to celebrate my return to work and the baby?”

“Oh come on, party pooper. You never come out. Let's go celebrate. You can have OJ.”

That's right. But Nick won't like this
.

“Maybe some other time.”

“Too late. Invites are already out, and we’ve had eight people rsvp.”

“Eight?” Did she know eight people here?

“Oh, don't look at me like that. You know more people than you think. That and we need a night out.”