Breathless (11 page)

“There was something about him that rubbed me the wrong way. I have to say I was wrong. I couldn’t hear your conversation, but Jon seems like a great guy. You deserve someone like him.”

Lainey put her hand up to stop his gabbing. “What do you think you saw?”

Ollie leaned in closer, putting his hand around his coffee mug. “He’s a merman, isn’t he?”

She pushed up from the table, running outside and throwing up into the bush a few paces away from the building. Lainey gave her stomach a moment before standing again.

Oliver stood beside her, offering a napkin. “You alright?”

Lainey nodded, wiping her mouth and spitting into the wad of napkin. She walked over to the trashcan and threw it away. Oliver pulled out a pack of cinnamon gum and passed her one.

“Thanks,” Lainey mumbled.

“You’re welcome.” Oliver tucked his hands into his pockets. “I won’t tell anyone.”

She sniffed. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He’s gone. I don’t know if he’ll ever come back. I want him to, but I don’t know.”

Oliver put his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him. “I’ve been a shitty friend the past year, and I’m truly sorry, Lainey. I’ll help you find him if I can.”

“You’d help me after how I’ve treated you?”

“Yes, because Jon changed something in you. You looked alive again, and I know Becca would want you to feel that way.”

This time Lainey didn’t feel like slapping him for mentioning Becca’s name. She nodded.

“Can you sail a boat?”

*~*~*

“Two weeks and we’ve not found him!” Lainey sat down on the dock, staring at her boat. “I’m never gonna see him again. I’m never gonna be able to tell him I love him.”

“We won’t give up.” Oliver put out his hand and pulled her to her feet. “I promise you we won’t give up.”

Lainey sighed and followed him down the dock. The two walked up to the house as she listened to him talk about leaving for college in a month. He was going early for training for the swim team. This was what they did while they walked; Oliver talked and Lainey feigned interest.

She should have known something was wrong the moment she walked into the kitchen with Oliver. Her mom sat at the table with Rachel as the local news played on the small TV they rarely used.

“Lainey.” Her mom’s voice trembled.

It was too late. The screen showed a live update of an unfamiliar beach with police tape and a crowd of people. The reporter seemed almost excited about the prospect of the scene.

“Earlier today, we broadcasted about the discovery of remains, found by two young boys. Police have started an investigation, and it appears the body has been on the beach for some time. There is speculation that the remains could possibly belong to Becca Hamitch, who disappeared a year ago while swimming with her best friend. Police have declined to comment at this time. We’ll bring you more information as it becomes available.”

Lainey didn’t even realize she was crying or gasping for air until she sank to the floor. She vaguely realized it was Oliver who helped her down. It felt like an intense pressure was growing in her chest. The air in the room felt thin. She could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears. “I… can’t… breathe.”

Lainey’s whole body shook and sweat beads formed on her brow. It was all too much. Her vision faded in and out, and everything blurred together. She couldn’t focus. A gasp burst from her lips. Words murmured in her ears, sounding as if they came from down a long tunnel. She had no idea how long it continued; all she knew was that she couldn’t breathe and the world was spinning. Black formed at the edge of her vision, pulling her under before she could call out again. She needed Jon.

The smell of the hospital filled her nose before Lainey opened her eyes. She didn’t want to wake up. The sound of the heart monitor beeped softly in the background and she couldn’t hear anyone else in the room. She slowly peeled her eyelids apart. Her body felt stiff. Two curtains were on each side of the bed. This was definitely the emergency room. Lainey picked at the tape holding the IV in place on the back of her hand; she didn’t like the pinch it created in her skin it. The curtain opened, and her hand stilled.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Barton. How are you feeling?” the middle aged man asked, smiling over the top of his clipboard.

“What happened?” Lainey blinked heavily, trying to focus on him.

“You had a severe panic attack. Your mom called 911 after you passed out because you were barely breathing.”

“I don’t remember coming here.”

Doctor Barton sat on the end of her bed. “I’m told you were fairly unresponsive in the ambulance. Do you remember what caused it? I’ve given you some medication to slow your heartbeat and your respiration. It will help you stay calm.”

Lainey nodded, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. She could hear the heart monitor beep accelerate slightly.

“Try to breathe evenly,” the doctor coaxed.

“I came home and the news was on. They found a body on the beach, but I don’t know where exactly. It might be my best friend,” Lainey whispered.

The doctor nodded. “I can see why that would be upsetting and cause such alarm. Do you have anyone you could talk to about this? I could arrange for you to speak with a grief counselor.”

Lainey shook her head. “I have someone I can talk to.” There was a woman she’d met with a few times after Becca disappeared, but Lainey never found the time worth it. Jon was the only one she wanted to talk with now. “When I can go home?”

“We should be able to discharge you in a few hours. Would you like your mother to come in and wait with you?”

“No, thank you. I’d rather wait alone.”

“Are you sure? There’s a group waiting outside for you.”

Lainey put on a fake smile. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

She closed her eyes and tried to focus on breathing deep to convince the doctor she was fine. The curtain closed a few seconds later. Lainey knew she wouldn’t have much time alone though. Peter was a nurse, and he could easily slip in, especially since he was still on duty. When the curtain moved again but no one spoke, Lainey knew it was Peter. She felt his weight settle on the end of the bed and his hand touched her foot through the blanket.

“I’m so sorry, Lainey. The reporter should have kept her mouth shut. Detective Archer called this morning and talked to me, but he couldn’t confirm anything yet. He didn’t want you to find out from the news.”

“He should have shut her up better!” Lainey opened her eyes and sat up. “She had no right to say anything.”

“Lain, I know. What that woman did is not okay. I spoke with Detective Archer after they brought you in. He would like to talk to you when you’re feeling better. I think it could be good for you.”

She nodded. “I guess I could talk to him. But if I ever see that reporter I will punch her in the face.”

Peter kissed her forehead. “That’s my girl.”

*~*~*

Lainey wouldn’t dare tell the police officers, but the station smelled strongly of coffee with a hint of powdered donuts. She’d been discharged from the hospital the day before and wanted to see Detective Archer right away. A young officer pointed her to the waiting area. Lainey played with the hospital band on her wrist, having forgotten to take it off. A scantily clad woman walked past in handcuffs, trying to get the attention of the men in the room. No one responded to her antics, much to her disdain. Lainey ignored the woman, staring at the clock on the wall instead.

“Hello, Lainey,” a warm voice greeted.

Detective Connor Archer was in his late twenties, with auburn hair and green eyes. He’d worked on Becca’s case since day one and was at the beach trying to talk to Lainey the day it all happened. Lainey grew to trust him and his dedication to helping her find Becca. She couldn’t smile at him today. She stood and followed him to his office.

“I’m glad you could come,” Connor said, sitting down at his desk. “I’m sorry it isn’t under better circumstances.”

She nodded. “Me too.”

“First, I want to apologize for yesterday. I gave no information to the reporter, but she dug around. I didn’t want you to find out anything in such a poor manner.”

“Do you have information?”

“Lainey, there’s a –”

“I have to know what you found. Was that Becca on the beach?”

Connor didn’t answer. He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a plastic evidence bag. Lainey took it in her hands, staring at the small blue dolphin, with the letters FRIEND on the bottom. Salt water had set in and dissolved part of the color in the dolphin. Lainey let the sob slip from her lips, fingering the pendant.

“This was wrapped around her hand. Do you recognize it?”

“Yes. I gave it to her.” Lainey pulled her necklace out of her shirt where she’d tucked it. She held out the dolphin shape. “I have the other half. She dropped it the day she disappeared, and she went under to find it. I never saw her again.”

The detective leaned back in his chair. “The DNA test could take a week, but at this point we don’t have any reason to believe it isn’t Becca’s remains we found.”

“I understand.” Her fingers traced the dolphin. “Can I keep her necklace?”

“It is evidence, but you can have it. It belongs to you anyway, Lainey. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.” Lainey held the necklace to her chest as she stood up and exited his office.

Tears rolled down her cheeks freely and she didn’t care if anyone saw her crying. It was finished. No more searching or tempting the ocean to take her. Becca’s body was found. Lainey walked through the police station, past the prostitute and two cops drinking coffee from Styrofoam cups. It was hard to see through the tears. She almost ran into someone, but she took a quick step back and hit a desk chair. She cried out before continuing towards the door.

“Lainey!”

She heard the detective calling for her, but it didn’t matter.

For once, Lainey wished it was raining. Birds were chirping in the sunshine and children were laughing at the local park. Her stomach churned; she might throw up. She paused for a moment to watch two little girls spinning around on the old metal merry-go-round. They laughed as it spun and their long hair flew behind them. Becca hated the merry-go-round. It always made her sick. Lainey gave a soft smile at the memory before continuing home. But she couldn’t go home. She had to go to the beach to talk to Becca.

Lainey clasped her hands on her knees as she held the evidence bag. She pulled it open and stuck her hand inside. The necklace had been cleaned of any remains, but it still smelled like salt water and probably always would. Her fingers traced the letters. Lainey felt her cell phone buzzing in her bag beside her. She took a peek at it, seeing it was Peter calling. He’d know where to find her. She pushed it back into her bag.

Peter came to sit beside her as the sun began to set.

“It’s her,” Lainey whispered. “They found her necklace.”

She grabbed his wrist and dropped it into his open palm. His fingers closed tightly around it.

“At least her parents can bury her body and have some closure.”

Lainey nodded. “I can finally let go of Becca and live my own life. She can rest in peace.”

Peter put his arm around her shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.”

The two sat in silence for a long time.

“Would you like to talk about what happened with Jon?”

Lainey didn’t answer at first. “He left me. What else is there to say?”

“I know you’re hurt, and I want to help you, but you have to talk to me. Please, don’t push me away.”

“I don’t have any fight left. I’m broken.” Lainey took in a shaky breath. “I’ve never met anyone like Jon, and I won’t ever again.”

“Lainey, there are other –”

“Please, let me finish. I won’t be able to tell it again, especially since I doubt you will believe me.”

“Okay, go ahead.”

Lainey returned her gaze to the ocean waves. “We were at the fair and everything was perfect. I was so happy and Jon seemed happy too. One moment he was smiling and the next… he was in pain. He asked me to bring him here. I didn’t have a choice. Once we got here, Jon dove into the water and when he came up… I’m not crazy. He’s a merman, complete with golden colored fin. I didn’t want to believe it, but I saw him. Jon’s not human. He told me he drowned when he was six years old and the merpeople saved him. I don’t know why he had to leave, but he did. He promised to return, but it’s been over two weeks. I don’t think he’s coming back.”

Peter ran his hand over his chin. “Huh… a merman? I didn’t see that one coming, and I’ve been playing in the ocean since I was a boy. I heard a story once about one, but it was from a little girl in my class, and everyone said she had an overactive imagination.” He dropped the necklace back into Lainey’s hand.

“You don’t believe me.” Lainey whipped her head away from him.

He shook his head. “I think I believe you. There was something almost magical about him, and I couldn’t figure it out. Jon is a merman; not what I thought. I assumed he was some sort of angel.”

“I asked. He told me he was far from an angel, but I still don’t think he was right. He saved my life and I saved his. I just want him to come back to me. I need him with me.” Lainey sighed. “I don’t understand.”